I'm guilty of a few of these...haha

May 11, 2006 01:16

Pass this on to other people to warn them. Liquor manufacturers have accepted the Government's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:

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1. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties. (ehem: titzilla)

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2. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

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3. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

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4. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them. (guilty!)

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5. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

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6. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.(not just exlovers but friends, too. I'm also a drunk emailer.)

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7. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

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8. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

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9. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

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10. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

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11. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

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12. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, leaving you unable to account for large chunks of time. (Waffles, vodka_is_trixy?)

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13. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked.

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14. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary.

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15. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.

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16. WARNING: The crumsumpten of alcohol may Mkae yu tink you kan tpye reel gode
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