Last Night
What a crazy night we had! Angeline and I went to the Hard Rock to see ColdFusion. I was also there on a mission to film the band with Ryan.
The opening band "friggin express" rocked the friggin house! They were all like 16 or 17 and just had the right stuff! I wish i was that good when i was there age.
Just before ColdFusion came on, I got kicked out of the fucking Hard Rock!
So here is the back story: Angeline and I go up to the bar. I order 2 black russians. Ms. Happyprissyplasticpussyface, our bartender, asks to see our IDs. What a nice fake bitch she is! So sure! We give her our IDs and she proceeds to inform us that Angeline, who is a year older than i am, is not legally aloud to drink because she has an out-of-state id!!! What the fuck is that shit! A valid ID from the state of Virginia is not valid in Arizona! What the fuck is up with this country! Whatever.
Black russian and water in hand, we sit and smolder, and i try to devise a way to outsmart this cuntbag. After our first drinks i go back to the bar and order from a different bartender 2 guiness. Angeline and Ryan had gone outside to speak with the band. 2 guiness in hand i am still trying to come up with a way to let this sillyslutwhore know she is a dumbassfuckingcuntpop.
The first guiness completed, i am getting alcoholicly bold. I order the second round of 2 beers from our favorite bartender, Ms. Happyprissyplasticpussyface, and she fucking gives them to me! So i am thinking, hmmm, well ok maybe she isn't as ridiculously "i have an entire cornstalk stuck up my ass" after all. I was wrong.
Angie takes her first sip of the beer and puts it down on the table and quite shortly afterwards some lady comes and says to her, "I am going to have to take this."
WHAT THE GODAMN FUCK!!!
So... finally... a plan comes to me. I know how to be the dickhead of the evening! I go nicely to the counter and request to speak to Star.
Me: in a sincerely inquisitive tone, "Hi Star, Am I going to have to pay for that beer you just took away?"
Ms. Happyprissyplasticpussyface: in a prissy tone, "Yes, you are."
Me: "I really don't think I should have to pay for that beer. I didn't get to drink it."
Ms. Happyprissyplasticpussyface: bobbing her head to the side in self-rigteousness, "You purchased the drink illegally, and therefore you are going to have to pay for it." Big fucking ugly plastic smile.
Me: getting a little testy now, "I'm sorry, but i am not going to pay for that beer."
Ms. Happyprissyplasticpussyface: "You are going to have to talk to my manager then."
Me: "That's fine, go get your manager then."
Ms. Happyprissyplasticpussyface: "Where are you sitting"
Me: "I'll wait right here."
That last statement really pissed her off for some reason.
So the manager comes by. She is just as ridiculously fake as her employee. She told me that because Angie took 1 sip of the drink that she was going to have to charge me for it. I said that was fine and could i have my card back. They were hoping i was going to leave. Not so.
I took the card, put it in my wallet, left the unsigned receipt on the counter, and went back to my seat to sit down.
The General Manager came by and asked me to leave or sign the receipt. I said no. And then the cops came. I met them at the front door. We explained our story. They heard that Angie had a valid state ID and were not pleased with the turn out of the situation either, but being good policefolk, they had to ask me to leave. So we left.
And then the fun really began!
Angie and I were laughing about the whole situation, and then came the chinese fire drill, and then came The Cage, and then came Jugheads and the hot ass bass player, and Jon, and drunken stupor. What a fabulous evening!
I think the only bad part about last night is that i may have upturned a relationship with the manager of the band by standing my ground at the Hard Rock. We'll see how that turns out.
The opening band "friggin express" rocked the friggin house! They were all like 16 or 17 and just had the right stuff! I wish i was that good when i was there age.
Just before ColdFusion came on, I got kicked out of the fucking Hard Rock!
So here is the back story: Angeline and I go up to the bar. I order 2 black russians. Ms. Happyprissyplasticpussyface, our bartender, asks to see our IDs. What a nice fake bitch she is! So sure! We give her our IDs and she proceeds to inform us that Angeline, who is a year older than i am, is not legally aloud to drink because she has an out-of-state id!!! What the fuck is that shit! A valid ID from the state of Virginia is not valid in Arizona! What the fuck is up with this country! Whatever.
Black russian and water in hand, we sit and smolder, and i try to devise a way to outsmart this cuntbag. After our first drinks i go back to the bar and order from a different bartender 2 guiness. Angeline and Ryan had gone outside to speak with the band. 2 guiness in hand i am still trying to come up with a way to let this sillyslutwhore know she is a dumbassfuckingcuntpop.
The first guiness completed, i am getting alcoholicly bold. I order the second round of 2 beers from our favorite bartender, Ms. Happyprissyplasticpussyface, and she fucking gives them to me! So i am thinking, hmmm, well ok maybe she isn't as ridiculously "i have an entire cornstalk stuck up my ass" after all. I was wrong.
Angie takes her first sip of the beer and puts it down on the table and quite shortly afterwards some lady comes and says to her, "I am going to have to take this."
WHAT THE GODAMN FUCK!!!
So... finally... a plan comes to me. I know how to be the dickhead of the evening! I go nicely to the counter and request to speak to Star.
Me: in a sincerely inquisitive tone, "Hi Star, Am I going to have to pay for that beer you just took away?"
Ms. Happyprissyplasticpussyface: in a prissy tone, "Yes, you are."
Me: "I really don't think I should have to pay for that beer. I didn't get to drink it."
Ms. Happyprissyplasticpussyface: bobbing her head to the side in self-rigteousness, "You purchased the drink illegally, and therefore you are going to have to pay for it." Big fucking ugly plastic smile.
Me: getting a little testy now, "I'm sorry, but i am not going to pay for that beer."
Ms. Happyprissyplasticpussyface: "You are going to have to talk to my manager then."
Me: "That's fine, go get your manager then."
Ms. Happyprissyplasticpussyface: "Where are you sitting"
Me: "I'll wait right here."
That last statement really pissed her off for some reason.
So the manager comes by. She is just as ridiculously fake as her employee. She told me that because Angie took 1 sip of the drink that she was going to have to charge me for it. I said that was fine and could i have my card back. They were hoping i was going to leave. Not so.
I took the card, put it in my wallet, left the unsigned receipt on the counter, and went back to my seat to sit down.
The General Manager came by and asked me to leave or sign the receipt. I said no. And then the cops came. I met them at the front door. We explained our story. They heard that Angie had a valid state ID and were not pleased with the turn out of the situation either, but being good policefolk, they had to ask me to leave. So we left.
And then the fun really began!
Angie and I were laughing about the whole situation, and then came the chinese fire drill, and then came The Cage, and then came Jugheads and the hot ass bass player, and Jon, and drunken stupor. What a fabulous evening!
I think the only bad part about last night is that i may have upturned a relationship with the manager of the band by standing my ground at the Hard Rock. We'll see how that turns out.