[Fanfic] Let me remember you (1/2)
Let me remember you
He knows he’s been here before. Knows it by the way the sand feels under his feet, by the way the water curls around his feet. The smell is distinctive and Shige takes a deep breath and it’s almost painful. The memory. Emotions he had forgotten rushing over him. Voices, far away whispers, echoing in his ear and it’s almost too much to take.
He opens his eyes, takes another deep breath. If he had known that remembering is so painful he would have told everyone off.
He stares at the horizon where the blue of the sky melts into the bluely-grey shades that are the ocean. He doesn’t know why he is here but they call it his home. They, that are the people who picked him up at the hospital, claiming him to be their son. It was also them telling him that his name was Shige, Kato Shigeaki to be exact.
The name didn’t sound familiar, nor did his so-called family. When he entered his home he could feel their anticipating stares on the back of his head but he had to disappoint them. Nothing looked familiar. Not the dog barking happily at him nor the family pictures nor his room. The only thing he remembered was the pain. It was the thing he woke up to when his world suddenly turned black, when there was a blank hole instead of memories of what he was and where he belonged to.
Remembering is painful, he realized. He heard the doctor tell his parents that there are chances he might never regain his memory but that they should try.
“But take it easy on him. Don’t force the memories into him. The headaches he is currently getting can be a side effect of his brain trying to remember. You should take it naturally.”
“Did he forget everything?” his mother had asked, fear in her voice.
“It’s a partial amnesia so we don’t know yet. You should just try out different things. It seems though as if long term memory is still available. He doesn’t seem to have problems speaking or walking and his general memory seems fine. This does happen quite often so you should just try to make his life as easy as possible. But he might not be the person he was before the accident.”
Right, the accident. Shige tears his eyes away from the horizon and looks down on his arm. It’s still in a sling from when it got broken thrice. He can’t remember the accident though and guesses it’s probably better that way. From the police report he knows that he was in the car with someone else driving. The police officer didn’t tell him more but Shige was eager to find out who he was with. A friend? Maybe a girlfriend?
He asks his parents but they shake their heads. They don’t know about a girlfriend, they only know he had been on a party. Shige wonders how much his parents knew of his old life.
There are no pictures in his room that show any sign of a girlfriend though and Shige guesses that maybe his parents were right after all. He finds some with a couple of guys though, friends he muses. There’s a guitar standing in a corner and CDs full of bands he doesn’t know. He strums the guitar and finds he can still play it as his fingers move to play a melody he doesn’t know.
“Hey, sorry, did you have to wait long?” someone suddenly says next to him and Shige pries his eyes away from his broken arm and into the eyes of a single-lided person.
Shige shakes his head at what he guesses is his best friend judging from the amount of pictures the two of them are on together.
“Is it true you lost your memory?” The foxy haired guy asks, looks a bit sorry.
Shige only nods.
“Oh. Well, then. Do you remember me?”
Shige shakes his head then finally speaks.
“Were you in the car with me?”
The guy looks a bit shock, shakes his head a bit too fast.
“But you know who was, right?”
The guy breathes in, then suddenly changes his complete facial expression and smiles a wide smile.
“Well, anyway. I am Koyama Keiichiro and I am your best friend since childhood. If you want to know anything about what you were doing you can ask me!”
Shige is a bit confused but then forces a smile. His head aches. Emotions rush over him again, people, places he’s never seem force themselves into the center of his attention, all at the same time and it’s only when Shige furiously shakes his head that he sees clear again.
Koyama gives him a worried glance.
“Is everything alright?”
Shige looks a bit pained.
“Yeah, sorry. I tend to get headaches when I remember something. Or. Whatever it is that I see.”
“Oh, well then. Maybe we should take it slowly then? I don’t want your brain to burst.”
Shige laughs.
“Don’t worry, that won’t happen. So. Would you reintroduce me to my life?”
Koyama smiles at him, holds out his arm and Shige slings into the loop and somehow, the warm feeling in his stomach feels nicely familiar as he trots away from the beach with his best friend from a life he doesn’t know.
+
He remembers their faces from the photos he has seen in his room. Massu, the guy with the chubby face and sparkly fashion sense, Tegoshi, the girly looking one who Shige finds is very superior and bratty, and Yamapi, the guy with the beautiful face who looks over them all with a content smile.
Shige ignores the massive headache that doesn’t want to disappear. Voices from a past unknown mixed with the cheery, bubbling noises the friends he doesn’t know both make his ears ring. Emotions, trying to eat him up from the inside and yet the big black hole that is his memory still doesn’t waver.
“Shige-chan are you okay?” Tegoshi asks and Shige realizes only now that the room has gone silent. They look at him with worried expressions and Shige realizes how hard it must be for them.
And he gets angry, at himself. Why can’t he just remember? Why do they still feel like strangers even though he knows they are supposed to be his best friends? Why is his brain torturing him with glimpses of a past if it denies him full access to his memories anyway?
“I- I’m sorry. It’s just-“ Shige stops to sigh, rubs his temples affectionately. “I have the feeling once I find out what happened during the accident, who I was with in the car, it might come back, my memory.”
They all nod, hesitantly, and give each other unsure glances but no one says a word. Shige senses they know what happened. And it makes him angry.
“If you know what happened why won’t you just tell me? Aren’t you supposed to be my friends?” he yells at them and they shrink back, throwing unsure glances towards Yamapi who looks a bit lost.
“I- It’s complicated, Shige.” Yamapi starts, fidgets with the hem of his shirt, eyes darting around the room.
“Just tell me the fucking name.” Shige presses, hands pressed into tight fists.
Yamapi sighs, closes his eyes and slowly exhales.
“It’s Nishikido. Nishikido Ryo.”
“Yamapi” Koyama breathes but Yamapi only shakes his head.
“Where does he live?” Shige continues even more alarmed and eager by the weird reactions the strangers called friends give him.
“I bring you to him.” Yamapi finally says and gets up to his feet, grabs the keys of his car and Shige is quick to follow.
They sit in Yamapi’s car, stare at the apartment complex in front of them. Yamapi leans on the steering wheel and looks defeated.
“Why did you not want to bring me here?” Shige asks now calm, curious.
He had hoped the name would ring a bell but it was nothing. Not even the gist of a memory.
“We got told not to.” Yamapi answers slowly and Shige gives him an odd look.
“It’s complicated Shige, like I said. I honestly don’t think it will help you.”
Yamapi gives him a desperate look but it makes Shige only more curious.
“Why not?”
Yamapi sighs again, groans.
“Some things are better off unknown.” Yamapi says mysteriously and Shige can’t help but laugh.
“What, is he like my secret lover and I caught him cheating on me?”
It is said as a joke but Yamapi’s look is one of complete horror and it is enough to silence Shige completely.
“What? Is it true? I hit the bull’s eye?”
“Shige, do you- really not remember?” Yamapi stares at him intently and Shige feels the need to shake his head furiously.
“Anyway. I’m going!” Shige says finally and gets out of the car.
He steps up to the second floor and rings the bell.
The door opens, reveals a tiny guy with dark bags under his eyes and Shige feels… nothing.
It confuses him seeing that he was sure there was a pattern. Even if he couldn’t quite remember his brain always gave him signals when something was familiar. Until now.
“Did you drive the car?” Shige barks.
“What the fuck!?” Is the only answer he gets before the guy called Nishikido Ryo is about to slam the door shut again.
He doesn’t get very far because Shige is really eager to find out and angry at both himself and his potential almost-murderer and he pushes the door open again, grabs Nishikido by the collar and slams him into the wall in Nishikido’s genkan.
Nishikido’s face is one of pure horror but he doesn’t move even when Shige practically shakes him.
“Did you or did you not drive the car that almost killed me?”
And now that he’s so close he doesn’t even need an answer to know that it was him. There is a large bruise over his shoulder that runs down his collar and disappears beneath the shirt Shige is still gripping. Shige knows it’s from the belt because he has the same. Tiny scratches are all over Nishikido’s face and there are still signs of deeper bruises on his hairline.
“Get away from me you freak!” Nishikido finally presses and pushes Shige away with much more force than he had expected.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about and now get. Lost.” Nishikido yells.
“Not before you told me what happened!” Shige yells back, folds his arms.
Nishikido rolls his eyes, copies Shige’s posture.
“It was dark, rainy, the streets slippery and we crashed into a tree. Over and out.”
Shige keeps on glaring.
“Sorry, okay? I didn’t mean to almost kill you. See? I apologized now get out before I find a way to get rid of you!”
Shige is not satisfied at all but judging from the way Nishikido glares at him he finds that he probably isn’t going to say anything more. It’s nothing that he didn’t know before though and he completely doesn’t buy this lame apology either.
“I will find out what happened and then I will come back!” Shige threatens but Nishikido just rolls his eyes, turns around and disappears in his apartment.
“Whatever. Freak.” Is the last thing he gets to hear from his almost murderer.
And Shige tries to feel something. But it’s silence and the black hole being his only companions.
Shige sighs and can only wonder because he’s sure that Nishikido is the last guy on one of the pictures he found in his room.
+
Koyama trots behind him defeated.
“Shige, I really don’t think it’s a good idea. I mean we can become best friends again without you remembering our childhood. I can always tell you what happened and then my memories can become yours again.”
Shige stops walking and turns around harshly, throws a funny look at his supposed friend.
“Are you kidding me? Do you even have the slightest clue about how painful it is to walk around in a world everybody keeps telling it’s yours but you know that you could as well lead a complete different life and still have no chance than to believe it? I’m not going to live upon your memories. I want mine. My own. And I want them all. And if you are not going to help me then I will find out for myself what happened. There’s a reason I forgot all this and I am eager to find out why.”
Koyama blinks, looks honestly confused but Shige started walking again and only stops still when he reaches the point where the accident happened. Koyama hastily follows him but takes a deep, horrified breath when he sees the traces the accident still left.
There are long braking marks on the street which continue on the grass next to the street and end in a tree a couple of feet down the hill. The tree is deformed and there are still traces left from the car on both the tree and the ground.
Shige closes his eyes and imagines the accident, the way the car slipped from the road and crashed into the tree with almost full speed. He gets jolt back into reality when he feels Koyama gripping his arm and pressing against him.
He turns around and sees the supposed older wearing a complete horrified expression and face turned almost white.
“Guess we were lucky no one died.” Shige concludes and tries to softly push Koyama away from him but the foxy haired one only clings tighter.
Shige sighs and gives up.
“Have you not been here?” he asks instead and Koyama only shakes his head, eyes still trained on the tree.
“Do you not hate the one who caused this?” Shige presses.
“Shige!” Koyama only breathes shocked.
“Well I don’t know about you but I surely won’t forgive him!” Shige then says and starts to walk away. Koyama stops clinging onto him and stays behind, watching as Shige stomps back to the car.
Shige is already about to drive himself even if he can only use one arm but then Koyama finally appears and climbs into the driver’s seat.
“Can you at least understand why I want to know?” Shige asks as they head back to the town to visit the bar where the party had taken place.
“But you do know how it happened.” Koyama begins quietly.
“Yeah but why? Okay it was raining but many people drive during the night when it rains and don’t have accidents that almost kill them. And why am I the only who lost the memory? Why not him? Why is my arm broken thrice and back so hurt I will probably have trouble forever with it? Why does he only have some minor bruises if he was the one almost killing u-“
“SHIGE STOP IT!” Koyama suddenly yells and Shige freezes.
Koyama stops the car at the side of the road and turns around to face Shige, the expression on his face a mixture of sorrow and anger.
“You don’t even know what you are talking about! It’s not Ryo-chan’s fault.” Koyama says, calmer now, with tears in his eyes.
“Oh really so it’s my fault? When I was only the passenger?” Shige remarks coldly.
Koyama sniffs and sighs, shakes his head.
“It’s complic-“
“Don’t- even try to complete this sentence. Stop talking shit. If it’s so fucking important than I don’t care if it’s complicated. I have a lot of time and I have a fucking right to know.”
Koyama sniffs again.
“You know Tegoshi told me that sometimes we forget things because we don’t want to be reminded of them. And I believe it’s better for you, Shige. I mean who cares about the whereabouts? You are alive and more or less healthy. Shouldn’t you be happy about that?” Koyama now tries to give him a reassuring smile but Shige only rolls his eyes.
“Being alive is not enough, Koyama. I want my life back. I don’t even know who I am. Won’t you just understand?”
Koyama bites his lip.
“Maybe you can remember the rest of your life without having to remember the accident?”
Shige raises an eyebrow, sighs.
“Maybe. Maybe not. I don’t know, Koyama. I just don’t know and it drives me crazy.”
Koyama pats his best friend.
“Fine. Let’s go visit the bar.” He finally says and turns around again.
+
Shige watches the Gin in his glass swing from one side to the other and sighs. As expected the bartender couldn’t really help him either.
“There were a lot of people at the party. But I don’t know, the police was here before and we already told them everything there is to know. I’m sorry.” The bartender had told them and looked apologizing.
“Do you at least remember my face or something?” Shige asked but the bartender only shrugged sheepishly.
Shige drowns the Gin and immediately orders another one. Three weeks have past since he came back from the hospital, three weeks in which Shige gets hunted down by massive head aches that don’t do anything than to pain him. Three weeks into a life everyone tells him is his’ but that he can’t remember.
“Sometimes the memory comes back even after months.” The doctor assured him.
“But sometimes it never comes back, right?” Shige pressed and the doctor slowly nodded.
“I don’t know why you’re so eager to find something out that will inevitably hurt you in the end.” Someone suddenly says next to him and when Shige turns around he watches Nishikido plopping down on the bar stool next to him.
“I guess someone who can’t even drive will never understand.”
Nishikido’s hurt look goes unnoticed because Shige watches the glass in his hand again.
“Tegoshi said there might be chance your complete I-forgot-my-memory-thing is not because you actually forgot it but you WANTED to forget.”
Shige cocks an eyebrow, doesn’t even bother looking at Nishikido.
“Well Tegoshi seems to be a real Mr. Know-it-all.”
“You shouldn’t talk about your friend like that.”
Shige just chuckles. “Friend, right.”
Then he suddenly turns around, eyes Nishikido intently.
“So, if they are my friends then what are you? Except for my almost-killer of course. I saw you on a couple of pictures in my room but it’s funny, when I look at you my head doesn’t ache as if he hadn’t met before.”
Nishikido looks almost hurt but doesn’t say anything, replies Shige’s stare and for a full minute they do nothing than stare in each other’s eyes until Nishikido finally tears his eyes away.
“Well, guess that means I was not important to your life.” He finally says and no matter how much he dislikes this guy for what he’s supposedly done, he can’t quite ignore the bitterness in his voice.
“I wouldn’t say it like that. I lost my memory because of you. And I would consider this as something very important.”
Nishikido just rolls his eyes and turns around to face the bar.
Shige finds it a bit odd how he doesn’t even bother going away. And so they sit in silence and Shige senses that whatever it is that made him forget, it has something to do with the tiny figure next to him.
+
Shige starts going back to university a couple of weeks later. He tried to catch up with things he is supposed to know already and curses when he finds that he chose a major where there is a lot to memorize.
Tegoshi, he finds out, goes to the same university but studies a different major- human science, not that Shige would have wondered- and so he feels more or less alone in a world he can’t remember together with people who treat him as a friend when he doesn’t even remember their faces or names.
The headaches remain, get worse even. And sometimes, when he tries to study he feels he’s read that all this before. And before long Shige suddenly feels like actually remembering going to university, studying law and sometimes he dreams of the past where he was together with his friends from university and it feels almost like finally waking up.
But when he comes home to a family he has accepted as his own but still doesn’t really remember and meets his friends he knows are trying to make it easy for him and still are like strangers, he still feels like being in the middle of a nightmare.
He feels incomplete and he knows that as long as this big black hole isn’t filled with his memory he will always wonder who he was and whether he is still the same as before the accident.
Funnily he finds companion in Nishikido whom he only meets at the town bar. Nishikido seems to have a pattern of coming always Sundays between 8 and 9 pm. He would stay for a beer or two and then head home. When they meet they usually don’t even bother greeting each other but they would sit side by side at the bar and drink their respective drinks. And whenever they do this, for a while Shige doesn’t feel so lonely and lost anymore.
It’s one night when Shige sees that Nishikido drank a lot more than just his usual beers and so he tries to push forward. Whatever it is that Nishikido stirs in him, Shige thinks he has the right to find it out.
“So.” Shige starts out of the blue and Nishikido’s head already lolls in his direction, unsteady eyes trying to focus him. “What is it no one wants to tell me about but that is so clearly between you and me?”
Nishikido looks dumb.
“What were we?” Shige rephrases, rolling his eyes.
He carefully pushes the drink out of Nishikido’s hand. He wants him talkative and not sleepy.
Nishikido doesn’t even notice that he doesn’t have a drink anymore and only grins at him stupidly.
“Youwannaknow?”
Shige raises an eyebrow and nods. Nishikido looks left and right and then proceeds to get up. Shige watches him for a moment and then catches him just in time before his head meets the bar.
Shige groans, pays Nishikido’s bill as well and drags him outside. They walk because Nishikido’s apartment is close but Shige is still at a loss in the town he grew up in but doesn’t remember and so Nishikido tells him where to go.
Once they enter his apartment Shige helps the smaller out of his shoes and carefully places him on his sofa.
Now that the smell of tobacco and alcohol is gone he smells the scent of Nishikido as he’s helping him stay put. Nishikido’s hair tickles on his chin and suddenly Shige thinks he has to faint from the sheer pain that suddenly pulsates through his head.
“Goddammit.” Shige curses as he tries to push the thousands of pictures in his head away.
He’s feeling dizzy and hardly notices Nishikido pulling him down on the couch so he doesn’t fall.
When the flood of pictures and emotions vanishes Shige closes his eyes and a suddenly worried looking Nishikido is only inches away from his face.
“You okay?” Nishikido asks, not at all slurry anymore and Shige nods his head. “Do you remember anything?”
Their eyes meet and Shige can see hope glistering in them and- fear. Shige knows there is something, knows the answer is so close and yet- he can’t grab it. Shige groans and shakes his head, closes his eyes and hears Nishikido sigh.
“It was special but it doesn’t make any sense if you can’t remember.” Nishikido finally says defeated and a bit sleepily and proceeds to snuggle up against Shige.
Shige wants to protest but Nishikido already fell asleep. And even now there is nothing Shige hadn’t known before.
+
“How did we meet?” Shige yells into the general direction of the kitchen in Nishikido’s apartment. He’s skimming over Nishikido’s book and DVD collection, trying to find something that looks familiar. Unfortunately Nishikido doesn’t seem to collect anything of personal value and so the only pictures Shige finds are those that look like Nishikido’s family- and they are hidden in a very boring looking book even from Shige’s point of view.
Nishikido steps out of the kitchen and looks as destroyed and hung over as when he woke up earlier in Shige’s arms on the couch.
Shige would have at least expected an apology but Nishikido had just yawned and then proceeded to make breakfast as if it was the most ordinary thing in the world. Shige guesses it probably is under normal circumstances. At least it told him a lot about the relationship between him and Nishikido. It’s why he still wonders why no one wants to talk about it.
“Is that important?” Nishikido asks back, carefully watching when Shige proceeds to explore his apartment.
“Well, I think I have the right to know. And I am extremely curious how I ended up being with someone like you. I can’t quite imagine that.”
Nishikido looks hurt again for a moment but then cocks his head.
“Apparently even you couldn’t withstand the awesomeness that is me.”
Shige raises an eyebrow at Nishikido who gives him a superficial grin that doesn’t quite reach his eyes though.
“But honestly. Why we?”
Nishikido’s face falters.
“Tegoshi said I shouldn-“
“Yeah I know.” Shige cuts him off before Nishikido can finish his sentence. “But it’s starting to go on my nerves. And chances are I will never regain my memory which seems to be what you all want so I guess you could just tell me something that is not risky.”
Nishikido smiles bitterly.
“Well I guess everything between us was risky stuff.”
“Why?”
But Nishikido already disappeared in the kitchen.
+
When nothing seems to help Shige googles Nishikido. In modern times like these he should have probably tried this a lot earlier.
He’s surprised to find a lot of articles about Nishikido though most of them are from his father.
He wonders if the fact that his father runs a huge financial company with branches all around the world is part of the risky stuff Nishikido didn’t want to tell him about.
After a bit of skimming the articles Shige also finds out that Nishikido Ryo is to inherit the company one day and the rest sounds like the continuation of some Friday night drama which has Shige almost laughing if it wasn’t so tragic. Shige only gets mentioned once as the passenger during Nishikido’s accident and he guesses that is what makes it even more tragic.
He comes back to visit Nishikido a couple of days later and presents him his research.
“I find it funny that you are still here when you are supposed to be with your fiancée in Tokyo preparing the pompous marriage that will catapult your Dad’s company into the heaven of financial companies.” Shige greets Nishikido sarcastically.
“What are you talking about?” is all he gets and before Nishikido decides to throw the door into his face again Shige pushes himself into Nishikido’s apartment.
“It does explain why some not very popular musician and part-timer is able to keep this huge apartment though.”
“If you are here to mock me…” Nishikido cuts himself off when Shige gives him a hard stare.
“I did a bit of research and I might have lost my memory but thankfully I’m still as smart as everyone keeps telling me I am.” Nishikido raises an eyebrow but doesn’t say anything. “And so I played a bit of Sherlock Holmes and will now present you with my latest results. Please interrupt me when I got something wrong.”
Shige stops here to clear his throat and Nishikido sits down on the couch, arms folding while watching Shige run up and down the living room while talking with great gestures.
“You graduated from high school as one of the best but instead of going to Todai like your precious, very influenced father told the press you moved out of Tokyo to take up different part-time jobs here. Excuse me if this information is a bit scrappy but your father seemed to be influenced enough to hide you from the rest of the world. I have no clue about how you manage to pay the rent for this apartment but I assume your parents are nice enough to pay the expenses for you.”
Nishikido snorts “You don’t get anything for free in the Nishikido family.”
“So what was the deal about that made you be able to stay here?”
Nishikido grinds his teeth but doesn’t answer and after a long pause Shige finally gives up and continues.
“Well, anyway. So out of whatever reason you were allowed to stay here and eventually you managed to befriend all of us. I wonder, does the rest know about you being a super rich kid?”
Nishikido just glares and that’s as good as an answer for Shige.
“I guess we found out altogether in the end, right? I assume things went well for you. You had your own little perfect world with friends who trusted you and you probably thought your Dad finally gave up making you inherit his company.
But of course he didn’t and one day he came to get you to fulfil the arranged marriage with the daughter of Tokomoto-san, leader of the same-titled company. And you probably threw a hissy fit and I guess that was the point where we all found out about your little lies.
It still leaves one question open: What exactly happened at the party?”
There’s a long, suffocating silence and Nishikido looks hurt and bitter but doesn’t seem to plan on talking.
Shige sighs and sits down next to Nishikido and tries to ignore the massive headache trying to burst his brain.
“What was between us that you don’t want me to remember?” Shige continues softly.
Nishikido finally meets his gaze and when he does Shige finds it hard to breathe. He can see the deep love that still burns in Nishikido’s eyes, that tugs at his heart and he feels all the bitterness behind this tragic Romeo-and-Juliet-story.
Nishikido slightly parts his lip and Shige sees he’s fighting between leaning over and pushing Shige away.
“I once promised to never hurt you, Shige and I’m not going to make you endure all this again after you’ve forgotten it. It’s for the best, Shige, believe me.”
“So you’re running away again because it’s the easiest way out?”
Nishikido snorts.
“No, Shige. I’m going back. And believe me this is not going to be easy. But knowing that you are here, still fine and healthy and that you can’t remember the pain I made you suffer makes it easier.
Shige I don’t want you to remember. Not because I never loved you because hell I did, I still do, but because we are not to be. I am not to be here and it makes it easier for me leaving when I know that for you, I’ve never been part of your life.”
Shige’s heart breaks. He doesn’t know why, it just does. As if it heart, deep down, does remember Nishikido, Ryo, does remember what they’ve been for each other, does know that Ryo will leave and never come back.
Ryo struggles again but this time leans forward, brushes his hand along Shige’s cheek and Shige tries to imagine this touch to feel familiar. Instinctively Shige closes his eyes and a moment later Ryo kisses him and whatever Shige’s brain has forgotten, his body hasn’t, and before he can even think about he’s already kissing Ryo back.
Ryo grabs his hair, pulls him closer as if he never intends on letting him go and Shige’s heart clenches by how bitter this kiss is. It’s as if Ryo wants to show him through this how much they meant for each other and Shige believes it, knows it even though he can’t remember.
When Ryo finally pulls away he has tears in his eyes.
“I love you Shige, I always loved you and I will never stop loving you. But you have to go now.”
Shige nods but doesn’t move, clings onto Ryo for another long moment and believes that maybe, maybe Ryo is right. He can’t imagine bearing this if he remembered everything.
And when Ryo leaves the town a couple of days later he’s glad that his heart only breaks a bit.
-----------------
Gosh this is so cheesy still '-.- I don't know what happened. haha