[OneShot] Through thick and thin!?
They have been friends for what feels like forever. A life without Shige? Unbelievable for Koyama. When people make fun of them acting as a married couple they can’t help but laugh. They are friends. The best of friends and not even once has Koyama thought of them being anything else. Koyama once even went as far as making a promise to Shige:
“If you are ever to drop out of Johnny’s, I’m going to follow you.”
Shige had just laughed and had called him stupid but the gleam in the law student’s eyes had made Koyama all bubbly inside.
But they are friends and even if Koyama sometimes feels as if there might be something more he always shrugs if off, blames the alcohol, blames the heated atmosphere. He likes the way they are and there is nothing he wants to change about it.
That is until things suddenly change completely before his very eyes and it seems that there is nothing he can today about.
+
It’s on one of the rare occasions News gets together for a night of drinking. Massu had gone home earlier right after dinner and Tegoshi had gotten lost somewhere along the night. Koyama is a bit worried but they all tell him that Tegoshi is old enough to take care of himself. Koyama still sometimes forgets that Tegoshi is the same age as Shige. To him, Tegoshi is still the 15 year old boy who knows nothing about the entertainment world and who looks up to him with his innocent, round eyes. He still likes to forget that behind all the innocent there is a brat who never looks up to anyone, not even his daisempais.
Even now Koyama probably only sees the best in Tegoshi no matter how different reality actually is.
“You worry too much.” Yamapi laughs and nods into the general direction behind Koyama.
The history graduate turns around and sees Tegoshi surrounded by girls. He relaxes a bit but still keeps his eyes open in case weird paparazzi decide to attack him.
That is until a head lands on his shoulder that makes him jump in surprise. Breath tickles the skin on his neck and sends goose bumps all over his body.
“Hm, Koyama smells nice tonight” Ryo whispers into his ear, voice slurry and raspy.
“Ryo-chan!” Koyama exhales scandalized. He tries to push Ryo’s hand away from his thigh but the Osakan just chuckles into his ear.
Koyama looks eyes with his best friend who only raises an eyebrow. But there’s something in his eyes that stings Koyama’s heart.
“Ma, I guess it’s time to get Ryo away from here until he starts attracting attention.” Yamapi laughs and suggests just going to Ryo’s apartment instead. He feels like playing some video games. Ryo is too busy sticking his hand up Koyama’s shirt to protest and Koyama is too busy trying to stop him to refuse. Shige just shrugs. With his classes almost finished he doesn’t have much too do anyway.
+
And so they all minus Tegoshi end up in Ryo’s apartment. Ryo gets dragged onto the couch and pulls Koyama with him to use his lap as pillow. Shige glares at him when the actually tiny Ryo still manages to use up all of the space which forces both Yamapi and Shige to sit on the floor.
Yamapi laughs and ruffles Shige’s hair.
“Ma, ma, he’s just drunk.“
Shige clicks his tongue, mumbles something under his breath and then takes the game controller Yamapi holds out for him.
Ryo is too far gone to even watch them play and Koyama is glad for it because that way at least he can play.
From time to time he looks down at Ryo slumbering peacefully in his lap and it makes him almost squeal and he wonders how he never really saw how adorable Ryo could be.
When Shige falls asleep in the middle of playing they decide that it’s probably time to go and Koyama tries waking up Ryo as softly as he can while Shige and Yamapi already get ready- of course none of them as much as things about putting away the game controllers.
Koyama leans forward, softly brushes Ryo’s cheeks with only his fingertips and whispers “Ryo, Ryo-chan it’s to go to bed.”
Ryo mumbles something under his breath that sounds close to “Fuck off” and squirms around. Koyama glares his best glare which still is nothing close to angry. Eventually Ryo wakes up enough to stand up but almost immediately trips over but Koyama is quick and so the Osakan lands directly in his arms and not face first on the floor.
“Koyama smells nice tonight.” Ryo slurs and this time Koyama laughs.
“You said that already.”
Ryo chuckles and makes himself extra heavy so Koyama almost carries him into his bed.
Koyama watches Ryo’s weak attempts of getting undressed until he can’t take it anymore and helps Ryo out of his shirt and his Jeans. Ryo giggles when Koyama opens the belt and makes some naughty noises, wriggling his hips in a way that makes Koyama beet red to the tips of his ears.
“Keii, hurry!” Koyama hears Shige yell from the other side of the apartment.
Koyama sighs, looks at Ryo who watches him through half opened eyes, an innocent look on his face that makes Koyama wonder whether this is acted or not. Koyama sighs again in defeat and decides that, acted or not, he can’t just leave Ryo here like that and so he yells back:
“You can go without me, I’m going later.”
“Oh. Okay. Good bye” He hears Shige’s answer and for a split second thinks he heard some kind of disappointment. But then Yamapi yells “Good niiiiiight” and Koyama forgets about it.
In the mean time Ryo tries wriggling himself under the blanket but failing miserably.
Koyama chuckles and helps him but with Ryo being no help at all Koyama ends up almost falling over and onto Ryo.
Koyama is about to sit up again when Ryo sniggers.
“I wonder whether Koyama tastes how he smells.”
“What?” Koyama squeaks, ready to jump up but suddenly Ryo doesn’t seem as drunken and helpless as before, as he grips Koyama’s head and crashes their mouths together.
Koyama is so shocked he doesn’t do anything when Ryo pushes his tongue in his mouth and pulls Koyama completely onto the bed.
When they part Ryo grins at him and Koyama stares at him wide eyed- single eye-lided or not.
Ryo delicately licks his lips and Koyama has time for taking exactly one deep breath before the Osakan strives for his lips again.
Koyama is about to protest but then Ryo does something with his tongue that has Koyama moaning and forgetting about everything else. The kiss is more than sloppy but it makes Koyama see stars dancing behind his eyes and before long he’s pleasurably moaning into the kiss.
+
The first thing Koyama notices after waking up is that Ryo lies next to him sleeping peacefully. Koyama feels a twinge of panic rushing over him.
The next thing Koyama notices is that he’s still wearing all of his clothes. Upon remembering he relaxes again.
Somewhere along the night Ryo had suddenly fallen asleep just when Koyama thought he could forget about all rationalities this time and just go with the flow.
In the end he thinks he’s not really angry at Ryo. It saves them a lot of trouble and really, there’s nothing about making out with your band mate, right?
As silent as possible Koyama slips out of Ryo’s bed and thinks about just going. But then he realizes that Ryo will probably be absolutely hung over and immediately feels bad for as much as even thinking about leaving him behind.
Koyama prepares a glass of water and some medicine against headaches he finds in Ryo’s bathroom and puts it at Ryo’s bedside table. He then tries to find some ingredients and prepares a light udon dish. He knows that Ryo likes udon and so tries his best.
When Ryo shuffles into the kitchen he looks a bit confused at first and Koyama feels the need to explain.
“You were dead drunk yesterday. Someone- um- had to stay.”
Ryo raises an eyebrow but says nothing, plops down on the dining table and carefully examines the bowl Koyama places in front of him.
“Did you make that?” Ryo asks, voice raspy from sleep but upon seeing the plaster on two of Koyama’s fingers shrugs it off again.
“Just try, it won’t kill you.” Koyama laughs then watches Ryo expectantly.
Ryo looks a bit unsure but then does try. He doesn’t die immediately but he still frowns.
“Did the salt slip out of your hand?” Ryo grumbles but still continues eating.
Koyama watches him, smiles. It’s typical Ryo after all and for as long as he watches him- until Ryo tells him to stop staring at him- he forgets about the possibly troubles lying ahead of them.
But then again Ryo doesn’t seem to have the slightest idea about what happened last night, at least that’s what he tells him when Koyama asks him.
Koyama isn’t quite sure why he doesn’t feel more relieved about it.
+
It’s still kind of weird seeing the other members again only hours later. Shige sits next to him, eyes him for a long while and finally says:
“Is something wrong with you?”
Koyama jumps.
“What? No, everything’s perfectly fine.” He shrieks.
Shige cocks an eyebrow at him, stares him down even more.
“Did you- sleep with him?”
Koyama jumps again, tries to hide his blush behind a magazine.
“No!” he pipes incredulously and hopes Shige leaves him alone.
He feels Shige’s stare for a long time before the law student finally sighs and goes.
Koyama risks a look at Shige’s back and he can’t help but wonder whether his head is hanging a bit. Maybe his back hurts?
+
Koyama finds that Shige changed a bit over the last couple of days. It’s as if they aren’t as close as before and every time Koyama calls Shige says he’s busy even though they both know it’s a lie.
With Ryo it’s the same. Even though he still insists he can’t remember anything that happened after they entered the bar. Koyama is absolutely sure Ryo is lying because he feels the Osakan’s stare on his back more than once.
It confuses Koyama but he guesses it’s better to just let the matter drop. He knows Ryo good enough to know that he doesn’t like being pushed. And really, it’s not like this had any meaning, right?
+
The history graduate absentmindedly strokes Nyanta’s fur which has the cat purring beautifully in his lap while he stares at the TV screen without really noticing what he’s watching. Koyama really doesn’t like the twist of events. Something’s off. With his and Shige’s friendship, with him and Ryo and ultimately with their member-ai.
He has no clue what is wrong with Shige but just when he makes the decision to find it out right now the door bell rings.
Nyanta is suddenly wide awake and jumps off Koyama’s lap to hide somewhere where he hopes to get distracted by stupid door bells.
Confused Koyama opens the door to find Shige standing on the other side.
“Shige!” Koyama states and before he can even ask him to come in, Shige pushes his way in already.
“We need to talk!” Shige almost orders and makes his way to Koyama’s bedroom already.
Koyama gulps but follow his best friend.
He closes the door and looks up to meet Shige’s intensive stare. Koyama really would like to vanish into thin air. But unfortunately he can’t and so he tries to smile.
“What- do you want to talk about?”
Koyama gulps down and takes a step back but doesn’t come far when he hits the door. Shige immediately traps him against it.
“Do you like Nishikido?” he asks, voice dark and Koyama panics a bit. He can’t recall Shige every behaving like that.
Koyama laughs nervously, tries to ease the tension.
“Well, of course.” Shige’s look darkens. “I- I mean I like everyone in News, right? I- It’s member-ai.”
Shige looks confused for a moment and Koyama is about to relax but then Shige shakes his head, closes the last bit of distance between them and presses their lips together. Koyama forgets to breathe.
It feels like a déjà-vu and for a split second he wonders whether this is supposed to be some kind of very cruel prank but then he feels something in the kiss that makes him respond to it.
He can’t quite put his finger on it but it’s as if there is so much loneliness and desire in it, so many things Shige had wanted to tell him but never said out loud.
Shige pulls back way too soon and the look on his face has changed completely. It’s- sad now and Koyama just want to hug him and hold him close for the rest of his if only he stops looking at him like that.
“Why don’t you see me?” Shige asks, his voice almost desperate. “I always only looked at you. Why do you never look back?”
“Shige…” is all Koyama can say as if that is apology enough but Shige only shakes his head, pushes Koyama away and leaves his apartment.
Koyama is left back staring at the pieces his life has been until now and with a heart so heavy he finds it hard to breathe.
+
Koyama can only helplessly watch his whole member-ai tumbling into pieces in front of his wary eyes. While no one is alarmed by Ryo teasing Shige and by Shige remarking they are all very shocked to see when Shige begins the battle on his own attempts. He tells Ryo to fucking put away his guitar so he can sit down and even threatens him to punch him into his face if he doesn’t get rid of the stupid grin on his face.
While usually Shige never gets loud or angry and the members only hide when Ryo is in a very grumpy mode today they all try getting as much space between them and Shige as possible.
When law student declares he needs silence so he can study, they all flee out of the dressing room.
“What the hell is up with this kid? I didn’t do anything to him!” Ryo declares angrily and glares at the door as if that would help.
Koyama feels like crying.
“I’m sorry. I think it’s because of me.” Koyama sighs, head hanging low.
“What are you talking about?” Yamapi asks, reassuringly pats his head. “Are you having some kind of fight?”
Koyama pouts sadly and locks eyes with every of the other members. Yamapi looks worried, Tegoshi looks as if he tries to read him, Massu looks helpless because he just remembered he forgot his food in the dressing room, and Ryo turns beet red and turns away shortly after.
“What are you looking at me like that? I didn’t do anything.” Ryo grumbles.
Koyama is now positive Ryo exactly knows what happens. And he also knows that they both think the same thing. But Koyama knows that Ryo is right. It’s not Ryo’s fault. It’s his’, Koyama’s, fault for not seeing it earlier.
He sighs when he realizes that indeed, he has never really seen Shige even though he had been by side for over 8 years.
But what ever it is, he knows he can’t and shouldn’t involve the other News members. It’s something between him and Shige and he alone can solve this problem.
“I’m going to talk to him.” Koyama declares but when he’s about to turn around, Ryo grabs his wrist and pulls him back.
“I’m going.” He grumbles and before Koyama can hold him back because he saw a dangerous gleam in the Osakan’s eyes, the other already disappeared in the dressing room.
“Are they going to hurt each other?” Massu asks wary and Koyama’s eyes widen.
Yamapi just laughs.
“Nah, Ryo is smart enough not to. Shige is a lawyer after all, ne?”
They all stare at Yamapi, jaws dropped incredulously.
+
Koyama curls up into as a tight ball as possible and swears to never ever get out of bed ever again. As expected Ryo didn’t settle anything with Shige after all. Even though there was no yelling or fighting heard Shige looked more than depressed when the other members streamed into the dressing room again.
Koyama looked from Ryo to Shige, then back again and Ryo shrugged, said:
“What? Everything’s settled, happy ending.” Only that Shige looked nothing like a happy ending at all.
Koyama’s cell phone rings and as much as he doesn’t feel like answering it he recognizes the melody as Ryo’s and decides that it’s always better to pick up the phone when he’s calling.
“Hey, I decided to invite you for dinner tonight.” Ryo says cheerfully as if nothing was wrong.
“Wait, what?”
“You cooked for me, now I cook for you. Be at my place at- erm- let’s say 8.”
Koyama wants to protest but Ryo has already hung up on him. Koyama knows he shouldn’t go. If he really wanted to heal their member-ai he wouldn’t go. His mind drifts off to Shige and the desperate and hurt look in his eyes. He can still feel the desperation on his tongue. And it stings his heart.
He can’t go, he can’t possibly go. It would hurt Shige even more. His best friend. Or wait. Was he still his best friend? Koyama bites his lip, feels like they somehow surpassed this state. He knows, realizes that with this one kiss, with this one attempt of Shige conveying what Koyama thinks are his true feelings, they are not longer best friends. Best friends is a state they can’t possibly go back to anymore. Right?
No. Koyama can’t go. He is absolutely sure Ryo exactly knows what has happened and surely he would have quite other things in mind than just inviting him out for dinner. Because why else did Shige look so sad?
But then again. He knows that Ryo is kind. And besides Ryo had never made any approach towards Koyama. Not before and not after the incident.
Right. So Ryo surely only wants to thank Koyama just like he said on the phone.
And with that and some weird ticklish feeling in the pit of his stomach he decided to go in the end.
+
Koyama realizes he should reconsider his opinion about Ryo. While the whole evening began pretty innocent and friendly, Ryo managed to catch Koyama when he was too relaxed to be aware of it.
It had started way more subtle than Ryo’s drunken approach, with fingertips brushing, knees bumping and breath ghosting over skin.
Koyama really can’t explain how he got into this situation, whimpering like a baby just so Ryo didn’t stop. He grips his hands into Ryo’s t-shirt as if it’s his lifeline, head thrown back at the couch to expose as much skin to Ryo’s demanding mouth as possible. He bites down into the tanned skin, as if he wants to suck the life out of him and Koyama is sure he will leave bite marks tomorrow but he couldn’t care less right because there’s a hand in his pants and, oh- could you do that again?
Ryo’s mouth finds Koyama’s ear, delicately nibbles on it before whispering:
“This is what you like, right?” It has Koyama shudder and he can’t do anything else than to nod in agreement. And he’s so close, so close and he can already see stars behind is eyes.
Ryo is nibbling on his lip now, tongue darting out ever so slowly, almost teasing him, hand steadily thrusting. And just when he is just on the edge, Ryo pulls away completely.
“Then beg for it!” the Osakan spits, a dangerous gleam in his eyes.
Koyama looks scandalous and for a split second the thought strikes him that this is probably his chance to go.
But Ryo is still staring him down and even the last of brain cells go dead. And before he can as much as stop himself he has their lips crushed together again, putting all his desperation and plead into the kiss.
Ryo grins, before pulling him up to his feet and dragging him into the bedroom.
+
Koyama wants to die. Right here, right now. He wants to hole up in his bedroom and never set a foot out of his door again. He still can’t believe what happened, can’t believe he let this happen. There’s no way he can ever look Shige in the eyes ever again. It’s like the worst of betrayals and if he was Shige he would never forgive himself.
And he feels like he betrayed all of the other members as well, selfishly crush their member-ai, the one thing that kept News together since the beginning.
“Keii-chan, don’t you have to get ready for work?” his mother calls him, gently knocking at his door but Koyama only whimpers, curls up into a tight ball.
“I’m not going. I’m calling in sick.”
“Keii-chan, honey. Whatever it is that happened you will work it out. You can’t just hide in there for forever.”
“I can! And I will!” Koyama pouts.
His mother gently laughs, opens the door and sits down next to her son, gently stroking his hair.
“But you can’t leave your band mates hanging, right? What will they do without you?”
Koyama whines, knows she’s right. They can’t really go on that interview marathon without him. Not when he’s dead sick.
She gently pats his shoulder.
“Now come on, I will make you your most favourite dish as breakfast.”
Koyama sighs and finally gets up.
+
Even weeks later the atmosphere in the dressing room is tense. On the surface it all went back to normal. Ryo and Shige aren’t unfriendly to each other anymore but Shige’s remarks are mostly weak and not as witty as everyone got used to by now.
Yamapi sometimes looks a bit worried upon the sudden silence in the dressing room. It’s mostly because Koyama and Shige don’t converse at all and Koyama is way too depressed to play along any of Tegoshi’s pranks so the youngest member gave up already.
The only good thing is that Ryo doesn’t behave badly either. He mostly sleeps, reads magazines or plays on his guitar and it’s almost as if all of this never happened.
That is until they meet gazes and Ryo smirks at him, something promising in his eyes that make Koyama turn a dark shade of crimson. Whenever this happens he looks away and almost all the time ends up locking eyes with Shige who stares at him with a blank expression, before turning back to whatever he was doing before.
It makes Koyama feel as if he was some kind of slut. Well, maybe he is. At least that’s what Ryo had called him. It still makes Koyama shudder when he things about that night but he is determined to never let this happen ever again.
And maybe things will turn out fine once everyone has forgotten about it. But Koyama is positive he will never find out that because he died before that.
The weeks without his best friend by his side were like torture and every night Koyama already is about to push the call button to call Shige when he realizes they stopped talking to each other.
“You know Shige is forgiving. Maybe you just have to talk to him about it.” Yamapi assures him when Koyama is so desperate about talking to someone that he asks the first available person out for dinner- which happened to be Yamapi. Koyama can only guess that all his other so called friends didn’t feel like putting up with a heart-broken Koyama.
“Shige hates me.” Koyama whines. “He will never forgive me. I’m an evil person.”
Yamapi laughs, reassuringly pats Koyama’s hand.
“Ma, ma. Maybe you first have to find out what you actually want. I’m sure whatever it ends up being Shige will understand. He’s probably only waiting for you to go tell him something.”
Koyama unsurely looks into his leader’s gentle gaze.
“I just want things to be the way they were.” Koyama pouts but is pretty sure that this wish is mostly impossible.
“Well, things won’t change at all if you keep being depressed. You are the ones who say they are BFFs, so if it’s true than a drama like this will be nothing that you can’t somehow work out, right?”
Koyama should probably be surprised by the leader-ish outburst but he only manages a small smile.
“Yes, you are probably right.”
Yamapi smiles and orders another round of sake.
+
Shige looks tired but nevertheless surprised when he opens the door later that evening.
“Do you have the slightest idea how late it is?” he ask grumpily and Koyama grins sheepishly.
“I needed to see you.”
Shige raises an eyebrow and Koyama uses his best droopy eyes he can manage. Shige rolls his eyes and lets him in.
He shuffles behind Shige into his living room and realizes Shige must have been studying. A gaze to his watch tells him that it’s already 3 in the morning.
“You were still studying?” Koyama almost shrieks.
“Yeah, and?”
Koyama flails, all the drama forgotten and attempts to pushing Shige in the direction of his bedroom.
“You can’t stay up until 3 in the morning to study. I bet you haven’t eaten properly either.” Koyama blabs and it’s only when Shige manages to squirm out of his death grip and swats away his hands that Koyama realizes that he fell back into old patterns.
“I can perfectly take care of myself. I don’t need my so called best friend for that.” Shige remarks.
Koyama winces, hangs his head low.
“I’m sorry, Shige.” And suddenly Koyama starts crying. He blabs something about best friend and how he never wanted things to come as far but since he’s sobbing and crying so much Shige probably doesn’t understand anything at all.
“Oh my, Keii, don’t cry. Please, just- don’t…” Shige attempts but then sighs and just pulls Koyama into a tight bear hug.
Koyama cries into his shoulder and blabbers something about how he misses his best friend so much he can’t even sleep and “..can’t we just go back to before all this?”
Koyama sniffs and Shige takes this moment to pull away.
“Guess I should apologize as well, hm?” he whispers, wipes away Koyama’s tears and Koyama’s heart dances when there is a small glint of a smile playing on Shige’s lips.
Koyama hiccups.
“B- but you didn’t- didn’t do anything- ng- wrong!”
“You know what Ryo told me? He told me to fucking stop some weird half hearted attempts that would only cause you pain.”
Koyama looks confused. Shige laughs bitterly.
“I guess I’m so used to us being glued by the hip that I mistook pure jealousy with being in love.”
Koyama blinks, sniffs.
“So you don’t love me?” he sounds a bit disappointed and pouty.
“Of course I love you. As my best friend. My best friend forever.” Shige laughs and Koyama is so happy he starts crying again.
Shige just rolls his eyes but attempts to just hug his best friend again.
+
Yamapi looks very pleased with himself and the world when he enters the dressing room to find it as noisy as ever.
Koyama is so happy that he plays along to even the silliest of Tegoshi’s pranks.
The history graduate is so happy that things are normal again that he even forgets about the night with Ryo. That is until he locks eyes with the Osakan and the gleam in the other’s gaze alone sends shivers down his spine. Koyama forgets to breathe.
------------------
It's the reason I write RyoShige and not KoyaSige. haha
“If you are ever to drop out of Johnny’s, I’m going to follow you.”
Shige had just laughed and had called him stupid but the gleam in the law student’s eyes had made Koyama all bubbly inside.
But they are friends and even if Koyama sometimes feels as if there might be something more he always shrugs if off, blames the alcohol, blames the heated atmosphere. He likes the way they are and there is nothing he wants to change about it.
That is until things suddenly change completely before his very eyes and it seems that there is nothing he can today about.
+
It’s on one of the rare occasions News gets together for a night of drinking. Massu had gone home earlier right after dinner and Tegoshi had gotten lost somewhere along the night. Koyama is a bit worried but they all tell him that Tegoshi is old enough to take care of himself. Koyama still sometimes forgets that Tegoshi is the same age as Shige. To him, Tegoshi is still the 15 year old boy who knows nothing about the entertainment world and who looks up to him with his innocent, round eyes. He still likes to forget that behind all the innocent there is a brat who never looks up to anyone, not even his daisempais.
Even now Koyama probably only sees the best in Tegoshi no matter how different reality actually is.
“You worry too much.” Yamapi laughs and nods into the general direction behind Koyama.
The history graduate turns around and sees Tegoshi surrounded by girls. He relaxes a bit but still keeps his eyes open in case weird paparazzi decide to attack him.
That is until a head lands on his shoulder that makes him jump in surprise. Breath tickles the skin on his neck and sends goose bumps all over his body.
“Hm, Koyama smells nice tonight” Ryo whispers into his ear, voice slurry and raspy.
“Ryo-chan!” Koyama exhales scandalized. He tries to push Ryo’s hand away from his thigh but the Osakan just chuckles into his ear.
Koyama looks eyes with his best friend who only raises an eyebrow. But there’s something in his eyes that stings Koyama’s heart.
“Ma, I guess it’s time to get Ryo away from here until he starts attracting attention.” Yamapi laughs and suggests just going to Ryo’s apartment instead. He feels like playing some video games. Ryo is too busy sticking his hand up Koyama’s shirt to protest and Koyama is too busy trying to stop him to refuse. Shige just shrugs. With his classes almost finished he doesn’t have much too do anyway.
+
And so they all minus Tegoshi end up in Ryo’s apartment. Ryo gets dragged onto the couch and pulls Koyama with him to use his lap as pillow. Shige glares at him when the actually tiny Ryo still manages to use up all of the space which forces both Yamapi and Shige to sit on the floor.
Yamapi laughs and ruffles Shige’s hair.
“Ma, ma, he’s just drunk.“
Shige clicks his tongue, mumbles something under his breath and then takes the game controller Yamapi holds out for him.
Ryo is too far gone to even watch them play and Koyama is glad for it because that way at least he can play.
From time to time he looks down at Ryo slumbering peacefully in his lap and it makes him almost squeal and he wonders how he never really saw how adorable Ryo could be.
When Shige falls asleep in the middle of playing they decide that it’s probably time to go and Koyama tries waking up Ryo as softly as he can while Shige and Yamapi already get ready- of course none of them as much as things about putting away the game controllers.
Koyama leans forward, softly brushes Ryo’s cheeks with only his fingertips and whispers “Ryo, Ryo-chan it’s to go to bed.”
Ryo mumbles something under his breath that sounds close to “Fuck off” and squirms around. Koyama glares his best glare which still is nothing close to angry. Eventually Ryo wakes up enough to stand up but almost immediately trips over but Koyama is quick and so the Osakan lands directly in his arms and not face first on the floor.
“Koyama smells nice tonight.” Ryo slurs and this time Koyama laughs.
“You said that already.”
Ryo chuckles and makes himself extra heavy so Koyama almost carries him into his bed.
Koyama watches Ryo’s weak attempts of getting undressed until he can’t take it anymore and helps Ryo out of his shirt and his Jeans. Ryo giggles when Koyama opens the belt and makes some naughty noises, wriggling his hips in a way that makes Koyama beet red to the tips of his ears.
“Keii, hurry!” Koyama hears Shige yell from the other side of the apartment.
Koyama sighs, looks at Ryo who watches him through half opened eyes, an innocent look on his face that makes Koyama wonder whether this is acted or not. Koyama sighs again in defeat and decides that, acted or not, he can’t just leave Ryo here like that and so he yells back:
“You can go without me, I’m going later.”
“Oh. Okay. Good bye” He hears Shige’s answer and for a split second thinks he heard some kind of disappointment. But then Yamapi yells “Good niiiiiight” and Koyama forgets about it.
In the mean time Ryo tries wriggling himself under the blanket but failing miserably.
Koyama chuckles and helps him but with Ryo being no help at all Koyama ends up almost falling over and onto Ryo.
Koyama is about to sit up again when Ryo sniggers.
“I wonder whether Koyama tastes how he smells.”
“What?” Koyama squeaks, ready to jump up but suddenly Ryo doesn’t seem as drunken and helpless as before, as he grips Koyama’s head and crashes their mouths together.
Koyama is so shocked he doesn’t do anything when Ryo pushes his tongue in his mouth and pulls Koyama completely onto the bed.
When they part Ryo grins at him and Koyama stares at him wide eyed- single eye-lided or not.
Ryo delicately licks his lips and Koyama has time for taking exactly one deep breath before the Osakan strives for his lips again.
Koyama is about to protest but then Ryo does something with his tongue that has Koyama moaning and forgetting about everything else. The kiss is more than sloppy but it makes Koyama see stars dancing behind his eyes and before long he’s pleasurably moaning into the kiss.
+
The first thing Koyama notices after waking up is that Ryo lies next to him sleeping peacefully. Koyama feels a twinge of panic rushing over him.
The next thing Koyama notices is that he’s still wearing all of his clothes. Upon remembering he relaxes again.
Somewhere along the night Ryo had suddenly fallen asleep just when Koyama thought he could forget about all rationalities this time and just go with the flow.
In the end he thinks he’s not really angry at Ryo. It saves them a lot of trouble and really, there’s nothing about making out with your band mate, right?
As silent as possible Koyama slips out of Ryo’s bed and thinks about just going. But then he realizes that Ryo will probably be absolutely hung over and immediately feels bad for as much as even thinking about leaving him behind.
Koyama prepares a glass of water and some medicine against headaches he finds in Ryo’s bathroom and puts it at Ryo’s bedside table. He then tries to find some ingredients and prepares a light udon dish. He knows that Ryo likes udon and so tries his best.
When Ryo shuffles into the kitchen he looks a bit confused at first and Koyama feels the need to explain.
“You were dead drunk yesterday. Someone- um- had to stay.”
Ryo raises an eyebrow but says nothing, plops down on the dining table and carefully examines the bowl Koyama places in front of him.
“Did you make that?” Ryo asks, voice raspy from sleep but upon seeing the plaster on two of Koyama’s fingers shrugs it off again.
“Just try, it won’t kill you.” Koyama laughs then watches Ryo expectantly.
Ryo looks a bit unsure but then does try. He doesn’t die immediately but he still frowns.
“Did the salt slip out of your hand?” Ryo grumbles but still continues eating.
Koyama watches him, smiles. It’s typical Ryo after all and for as long as he watches him- until Ryo tells him to stop staring at him- he forgets about the possibly troubles lying ahead of them.
But then again Ryo doesn’t seem to have the slightest idea about what happened last night, at least that’s what he tells him when Koyama asks him.
Koyama isn’t quite sure why he doesn’t feel more relieved about it.
+
It’s still kind of weird seeing the other members again only hours later. Shige sits next to him, eyes him for a long while and finally says:
“Is something wrong with you?”
Koyama jumps.
“What? No, everything’s perfectly fine.” He shrieks.
Shige cocks an eyebrow at him, stares him down even more.
“Did you- sleep with him?”
Koyama jumps again, tries to hide his blush behind a magazine.
“No!” he pipes incredulously and hopes Shige leaves him alone.
He feels Shige’s stare for a long time before the law student finally sighs and goes.
Koyama risks a look at Shige’s back and he can’t help but wonder whether his head is hanging a bit. Maybe his back hurts?
+
Koyama finds that Shige changed a bit over the last couple of days. It’s as if they aren’t as close as before and every time Koyama calls Shige says he’s busy even though they both know it’s a lie.
With Ryo it’s the same. Even though he still insists he can’t remember anything that happened after they entered the bar. Koyama is absolutely sure Ryo is lying because he feels the Osakan’s stare on his back more than once.
It confuses Koyama but he guesses it’s better to just let the matter drop. He knows Ryo good enough to know that he doesn’t like being pushed. And really, it’s not like this had any meaning, right?
+
The history graduate absentmindedly strokes Nyanta’s fur which has the cat purring beautifully in his lap while he stares at the TV screen without really noticing what he’s watching. Koyama really doesn’t like the twist of events. Something’s off. With his and Shige’s friendship, with him and Ryo and ultimately with their member-ai.
He has no clue what is wrong with Shige but just when he makes the decision to find it out right now the door bell rings.
Nyanta is suddenly wide awake and jumps off Koyama’s lap to hide somewhere where he hopes to get distracted by stupid door bells.
Confused Koyama opens the door to find Shige standing on the other side.
“Shige!” Koyama states and before he can even ask him to come in, Shige pushes his way in already.
“We need to talk!” Shige almost orders and makes his way to Koyama’s bedroom already.
Koyama gulps but follow his best friend.
He closes the door and looks up to meet Shige’s intensive stare. Koyama really would like to vanish into thin air. But unfortunately he can’t and so he tries to smile.
“What- do you want to talk about?”
Koyama gulps down and takes a step back but doesn’t come far when he hits the door. Shige immediately traps him against it.
“Do you like Nishikido?” he asks, voice dark and Koyama panics a bit. He can’t recall Shige every behaving like that.
Koyama laughs nervously, tries to ease the tension.
“Well, of course.” Shige’s look darkens. “I- I mean I like everyone in News, right? I- It’s member-ai.”
Shige looks confused for a moment and Koyama is about to relax but then Shige shakes his head, closes the last bit of distance between them and presses their lips together. Koyama forgets to breathe.
It feels like a déjà-vu and for a split second he wonders whether this is supposed to be some kind of very cruel prank but then he feels something in the kiss that makes him respond to it.
He can’t quite put his finger on it but it’s as if there is so much loneliness and desire in it, so many things Shige had wanted to tell him but never said out loud.
Shige pulls back way too soon and the look on his face has changed completely. It’s- sad now and Koyama just want to hug him and hold him close for the rest of his if only he stops looking at him like that.
“Why don’t you see me?” Shige asks, his voice almost desperate. “I always only looked at you. Why do you never look back?”
“Shige…” is all Koyama can say as if that is apology enough but Shige only shakes his head, pushes Koyama away and leaves his apartment.
Koyama is left back staring at the pieces his life has been until now and with a heart so heavy he finds it hard to breathe.
+
Koyama can only helplessly watch his whole member-ai tumbling into pieces in front of his wary eyes. While no one is alarmed by Ryo teasing Shige and by Shige remarking they are all very shocked to see when Shige begins the battle on his own attempts. He tells Ryo to fucking put away his guitar so he can sit down and even threatens him to punch him into his face if he doesn’t get rid of the stupid grin on his face.
While usually Shige never gets loud or angry and the members only hide when Ryo is in a very grumpy mode today they all try getting as much space between them and Shige as possible.
When law student declares he needs silence so he can study, they all flee out of the dressing room.
“What the hell is up with this kid? I didn’t do anything to him!” Ryo declares angrily and glares at the door as if that would help.
Koyama feels like crying.
“I’m sorry. I think it’s because of me.” Koyama sighs, head hanging low.
“What are you talking about?” Yamapi asks, reassuringly pats his head. “Are you having some kind of fight?”
Koyama pouts sadly and locks eyes with every of the other members. Yamapi looks worried, Tegoshi looks as if he tries to read him, Massu looks helpless because he just remembered he forgot his food in the dressing room, and Ryo turns beet red and turns away shortly after.
“What are you looking at me like that? I didn’t do anything.” Ryo grumbles.
Koyama is now positive Ryo exactly knows what happens. And he also knows that they both think the same thing. But Koyama knows that Ryo is right. It’s not Ryo’s fault. It’s his’, Koyama’s, fault for not seeing it earlier.
He sighs when he realizes that indeed, he has never really seen Shige even though he had been by side for over 8 years.
But what ever it is, he knows he can’t and shouldn’t involve the other News members. It’s something between him and Shige and he alone can solve this problem.
“I’m going to talk to him.” Koyama declares but when he’s about to turn around, Ryo grabs his wrist and pulls him back.
“I’m going.” He grumbles and before Koyama can hold him back because he saw a dangerous gleam in the Osakan’s eyes, the other already disappeared in the dressing room.
“Are they going to hurt each other?” Massu asks wary and Koyama’s eyes widen.
Yamapi just laughs.
“Nah, Ryo is smart enough not to. Shige is a lawyer after all, ne?”
They all stare at Yamapi, jaws dropped incredulously.
+
Koyama curls up into as a tight ball as possible and swears to never ever get out of bed ever again. As expected Ryo didn’t settle anything with Shige after all. Even though there was no yelling or fighting heard Shige looked more than depressed when the other members streamed into the dressing room again.
Koyama looked from Ryo to Shige, then back again and Ryo shrugged, said:
“What? Everything’s settled, happy ending.” Only that Shige looked nothing like a happy ending at all.
Koyama’s cell phone rings and as much as he doesn’t feel like answering it he recognizes the melody as Ryo’s and decides that it’s always better to pick up the phone when he’s calling.
“Hey, I decided to invite you for dinner tonight.” Ryo says cheerfully as if nothing was wrong.
“Wait, what?”
“You cooked for me, now I cook for you. Be at my place at- erm- let’s say 8.”
Koyama wants to protest but Ryo has already hung up on him. Koyama knows he shouldn’t go. If he really wanted to heal their member-ai he wouldn’t go. His mind drifts off to Shige and the desperate and hurt look in his eyes. He can still feel the desperation on his tongue. And it stings his heart.
He can’t go, he can’t possibly go. It would hurt Shige even more. His best friend. Or wait. Was he still his best friend? Koyama bites his lip, feels like they somehow surpassed this state. He knows, realizes that with this one kiss, with this one attempt of Shige conveying what Koyama thinks are his true feelings, they are not longer best friends. Best friends is a state they can’t possibly go back to anymore. Right?
No. Koyama can’t go. He is absolutely sure Ryo exactly knows what has happened and surely he would have quite other things in mind than just inviting him out for dinner. Because why else did Shige look so sad?
But then again. He knows that Ryo is kind. And besides Ryo had never made any approach towards Koyama. Not before and not after the incident.
Right. So Ryo surely only wants to thank Koyama just like he said on the phone.
And with that and some weird ticklish feeling in the pit of his stomach he decided to go in the end.
+
Koyama realizes he should reconsider his opinion about Ryo. While the whole evening began pretty innocent and friendly, Ryo managed to catch Koyama when he was too relaxed to be aware of it.
It had started way more subtle than Ryo’s drunken approach, with fingertips brushing, knees bumping and breath ghosting over skin.
Koyama really can’t explain how he got into this situation, whimpering like a baby just so Ryo didn’t stop. He grips his hands into Ryo’s t-shirt as if it’s his lifeline, head thrown back at the couch to expose as much skin to Ryo’s demanding mouth as possible. He bites down into the tanned skin, as if he wants to suck the life out of him and Koyama is sure he will leave bite marks tomorrow but he couldn’t care less right because there’s a hand in his pants and, oh- could you do that again?
Ryo’s mouth finds Koyama’s ear, delicately nibbles on it before whispering:
“This is what you like, right?” It has Koyama shudder and he can’t do anything else than to nod in agreement. And he’s so close, so close and he can already see stars behind is eyes.
Ryo is nibbling on his lip now, tongue darting out ever so slowly, almost teasing him, hand steadily thrusting. And just when he is just on the edge, Ryo pulls away completely.
“Then beg for it!” the Osakan spits, a dangerous gleam in his eyes.
Koyama looks scandalous and for a split second the thought strikes him that this is probably his chance to go.
But Ryo is still staring him down and even the last of brain cells go dead. And before he can as much as stop himself he has their lips crushed together again, putting all his desperation and plead into the kiss.
Ryo grins, before pulling him up to his feet and dragging him into the bedroom.
+
Koyama wants to die. Right here, right now. He wants to hole up in his bedroom and never set a foot out of his door again. He still can’t believe what happened, can’t believe he let this happen. There’s no way he can ever look Shige in the eyes ever again. It’s like the worst of betrayals and if he was Shige he would never forgive himself.
And he feels like he betrayed all of the other members as well, selfishly crush their member-ai, the one thing that kept News together since the beginning.
“Keii-chan, don’t you have to get ready for work?” his mother calls him, gently knocking at his door but Koyama only whimpers, curls up into a tight ball.
“I’m not going. I’m calling in sick.”
“Keii-chan, honey. Whatever it is that happened you will work it out. You can’t just hide in there for forever.”
“I can! And I will!” Koyama pouts.
His mother gently laughs, opens the door and sits down next to her son, gently stroking his hair.
“But you can’t leave your band mates hanging, right? What will they do without you?”
Koyama whines, knows she’s right. They can’t really go on that interview marathon without him. Not when he’s dead sick.
She gently pats his shoulder.
“Now come on, I will make you your most favourite dish as breakfast.”
Koyama sighs and finally gets up.
+
Even weeks later the atmosphere in the dressing room is tense. On the surface it all went back to normal. Ryo and Shige aren’t unfriendly to each other anymore but Shige’s remarks are mostly weak and not as witty as everyone got used to by now.
Yamapi sometimes looks a bit worried upon the sudden silence in the dressing room. It’s mostly because Koyama and Shige don’t converse at all and Koyama is way too depressed to play along any of Tegoshi’s pranks so the youngest member gave up already.
The only good thing is that Ryo doesn’t behave badly either. He mostly sleeps, reads magazines or plays on his guitar and it’s almost as if all of this never happened.
That is until they meet gazes and Ryo smirks at him, something promising in his eyes that make Koyama turn a dark shade of crimson. Whenever this happens he looks away and almost all the time ends up locking eyes with Shige who stares at him with a blank expression, before turning back to whatever he was doing before.
It makes Koyama feel as if he was some kind of slut. Well, maybe he is. At least that’s what Ryo had called him. It still makes Koyama shudder when he things about that night but he is determined to never let this happen ever again.
And maybe things will turn out fine once everyone has forgotten about it. But Koyama is positive he will never find out that because he died before that.
The weeks without his best friend by his side were like torture and every night Koyama already is about to push the call button to call Shige when he realizes they stopped talking to each other.
“You know Shige is forgiving. Maybe you just have to talk to him about it.” Yamapi assures him when Koyama is so desperate about talking to someone that he asks the first available person out for dinner- which happened to be Yamapi. Koyama can only guess that all his other so called friends didn’t feel like putting up with a heart-broken Koyama.
“Shige hates me.” Koyama whines. “He will never forgive me. I’m an evil person.”
Yamapi laughs, reassuringly pats Koyama’s hand.
“Ma, ma. Maybe you first have to find out what you actually want. I’m sure whatever it ends up being Shige will understand. He’s probably only waiting for you to go tell him something.”
Koyama unsurely looks into his leader’s gentle gaze.
“I just want things to be the way they were.” Koyama pouts but is pretty sure that this wish is mostly impossible.
“Well, things won’t change at all if you keep being depressed. You are the ones who say they are BFFs, so if it’s true than a drama like this will be nothing that you can’t somehow work out, right?”
Koyama should probably be surprised by the leader-ish outburst but he only manages a small smile.
“Yes, you are probably right.”
Yamapi smiles and orders another round of sake.
+
Shige looks tired but nevertheless surprised when he opens the door later that evening.
“Do you have the slightest idea how late it is?” he ask grumpily and Koyama grins sheepishly.
“I needed to see you.”
Shige raises an eyebrow and Koyama uses his best droopy eyes he can manage. Shige rolls his eyes and lets him in.
He shuffles behind Shige into his living room and realizes Shige must have been studying. A gaze to his watch tells him that it’s already 3 in the morning.
“You were still studying?” Koyama almost shrieks.
“Yeah, and?”
Koyama flails, all the drama forgotten and attempts to pushing Shige in the direction of his bedroom.
“You can’t stay up until 3 in the morning to study. I bet you haven’t eaten properly either.” Koyama blabs and it’s only when Shige manages to squirm out of his death grip and swats away his hands that Koyama realizes that he fell back into old patterns.
“I can perfectly take care of myself. I don’t need my so called best friend for that.” Shige remarks.
Koyama winces, hangs his head low.
“I’m sorry, Shige.” And suddenly Koyama starts crying. He blabs something about best friend and how he never wanted things to come as far but since he’s sobbing and crying so much Shige probably doesn’t understand anything at all.
“Oh my, Keii, don’t cry. Please, just- don’t…” Shige attempts but then sighs and just pulls Koyama into a tight bear hug.
Koyama cries into his shoulder and blabbers something about how he misses his best friend so much he can’t even sleep and “..can’t we just go back to before all this?”
Koyama sniffs and Shige takes this moment to pull away.
“Guess I should apologize as well, hm?” he whispers, wipes away Koyama’s tears and Koyama’s heart dances when there is a small glint of a smile playing on Shige’s lips.
Koyama hiccups.
“B- but you didn’t- didn’t do anything- ng- wrong!”
“You know what Ryo told me? He told me to fucking stop some weird half hearted attempts that would only cause you pain.”
Koyama looks confused. Shige laughs bitterly.
“I guess I’m so used to us being glued by the hip that I mistook pure jealousy with being in love.”
Koyama blinks, sniffs.
“So you don’t love me?” he sounds a bit disappointed and pouty.
“Of course I love you. As my best friend. My best friend forever.” Shige laughs and Koyama is so happy he starts crying again.
Shige just rolls his eyes but attempts to just hug his best friend again.
+
Yamapi looks very pleased with himself and the world when he enters the dressing room to find it as noisy as ever.
Koyama is so happy that he plays along to even the silliest of Tegoshi’s pranks.
The history graduate is so happy that things are normal again that he even forgets about the night with Ryo. That is until he locks eyes with the Osakan and the gleam in the other’s gaze alone sends shivers down his spine. Koyama forgets to breathe.
------------------
It's the reason I write RyoShige and not KoyaSige. haha