blown youth
february went so slowly, yet the months afterward have flown by.
i have been involved in theatre shows, in assessment, in random 21st get-togethers. i am co-ordinating my photographic exhibition, to be happening in august. i am saving money. i am hating my car that is costing me yet another $500 to get fixed. it cost me $1800 to buy, so far it has cost me $2000 to keep it running. i sometimes wonder if it's worth it.
apart from car issues things are wonderful. the boy and i are saving for the big day. we are collecting passport applications and staring longingly through the windows at every travel agent. i am loving him, and slowly making myself forget he ever had a past with anyone else. i am slowly blocking out those girls faces, the images of him kissing anyone else. i am slowly becoming comfortable knowing that another girl has slept beside him in the bed we now share. it will be okay. because he is mine. i know that, and it helps.
the only thing i have to work up the courage for sometime is to let him know how much i don't like that person in his life. and it sounds horrible but i know i am not alone in this and that makes me a little more comfortable in my convictions. still, there is nothing i can do and until he asks or it comes up in conversation i am going to try and not let it get to me, or between us.
it has been so long since i sat before this screen and poured out my feelings into empty white boxes. and while i have so many feelings bottled up inside of me it feels a little difficult to get them out. as much as i want to. maybe another day when i do not have the task of re-writing my first chapter hanging over my head.
he will be home in less then forty-five minutes. i must prepare the couch for criminal intent and snuggling.
xo;