old entry sry
so i guess burg likes grey's anatomy.. i love that show.. so that in a wierd way altered my depression today.. heh.. u know?.. theres nothing more that hurts than to be used.. to truely love someone but to know that they stopped caring a long time ago and then used you for something like sex.. that every way they ever acted towards you was a lie.. it was just to get your pants.. they never meant anything.. maybe at first but that was a intro to get u hooked.. guys like that.. guys who make u fall in love and then hurt you.. guys who take advantage.. guys who know girls like me can't handle it but they do it anyways.. yea you know guys who want perfect bodies and girls with perfect bodies.. a football player.. persay.. not always but it was this time.. a guy who really wants lust.. sex and money.. a guy who stops caring but lies.. a guy who just wants to hurt you... so you know hes a good guy.. but what does that count.. look at how he treats you.. look at what he cares about.. look at how nice his friends seem.. look at his girlfriend.. look at how fake.. look at how the whole damn time all he ever wanted was you to be on the side.. remember when he called you baby.. remember when u thought he wanted to work things out? remember when u tried? heh yeah remember how fucked up things are? god.. you know someone like me who alredey has always dealt with the worst kinds of pain.. shouldn't have to go through this sorta pain.. n now everythings out in the open.. and look whats going on.. look where the relationship is? look where i am.. look where he is... look at what hes saying to me.. look at how much he just dosen't care.. look at where the feelings are.. ugh i feel like im on an emotional roller coster i hate this so much.. u know its funny that in the begginning things seem so perfect.. i mean look where i am now? look at this