(no subject)
i still haven't heard any results of my chest xray yet. my dad and sister were saying that if the doctor thought that the fluid next to my heart was extremely bad, he would've admit me. my only worry with that is now i am having trouble peeing and back pain. i don't want my kidneys to shut down, i could barely pee when i got up. but hopefully it's because i was up all day and night yesterday and didn't drink hardly anything.
last night i admitted some things to my mother about myself, things that i haven't admitted to anyone else, things i have been ashamed of. i told her i didn't want something to happen to me and her believing that i was some perfect angel. i just wanted her to know that i had made mistakes too. or her blaming God for something that may happen.
after talking to my mother and feeling like i was at peace with God i had the most wonderful night sleep. only Christ alone can offer and give that kind of peace to you.
with that being said they are still a million bad thoughts running through my head to do physical things that are happening to my body.
i'm going to drink a ton of water. i've already drank 2.5 glasses and don't feel yet like i can go to the bathroom. i'm scared. please pray for me still.
thank you all again for your comments, i could not get through this without you ♥