the most surreal day of my life
everything today has been like a dream. i keep squenching my eyes hoping to wake up but i can't. the doctor said that he thinks there's fluid beside my heart. my sister said they have put you to sleep to drain it. i had a chest xray today and hopefully should know more in the next day or two.
my heart rate was up to 157 yesterday. i feel like all my organs are shutting down and i have fluid on my brain too. i feel like the only way i'm still alive is through Christ.
i had a dream about a week or so ago that i died. and now i keep invisioning my death and funeral. i feel like i'm looking death straight in the face but my family thinks otherwise. i saw my brother for the first time in months and hugged him and told him i loved him even though there had been so much tension there. i told my dad the same thing.
i really don't know what to say, this may be my last post for a while. i just value you all so much, thank you again for your amazing love and support.
my heart rate was up to 157 yesterday. i feel like all my organs are shutting down and i have fluid on my brain too. i feel like the only way i'm still alive is through Christ.
i had a dream about a week or so ago that i died. and now i keep invisioning my death and funeral. i feel like i'm looking death straight in the face but my family thinks otherwise. i saw my brother for the first time in months and hugged him and told him i loved him even though there had been so much tension there. i told my dad the same thing.
i really don't know what to say, this may be my last post for a while. i just value you all so much, thank you again for your amazing love and support.