Let Me In - 6/10

[vindictiveminds]

Pairing: Kurtbastian
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Kurt Hummel finds an unexpected acquaintance with Sebastian Smythe after a tough break-up. He tries to keep their fling a strict Friends with Benefits situation, but Sebastian starts to break through his carefully guarded walls, even though he isn't necessarily an open book, either.



Warning: Mentions of drug use and of attempted rape. Nothing graphic. I'm only putting this warning up once, but I may reference events discussed in this chapter in the rest of the fic.

“Kurt, will you go start the car?” Sebastian grabbed his keys from his desk and threw them quickly on the bed, rushing out of his room before Kurt could pull himself together long enough to answer. Kurt grabbed the keys, and jetted down the staircase to the Smythe’s garage, still unsure of what was happening, but he knew something was deeply wrong. He had never seen Sebastian’s face so creased with worry, fear, and anger. It was less than a minute before Sebastian was throwing himself into the driver seat, backing out quickly and peeling out of the driveway, hurling the car down the streets. Sebastian had put her on speakerphone and was following directions on his phone’s GPS and murmuring small assurances.

“It’s okay. I’m almost there. Just stay on the phone. I’m just two minutes away.” Sebastian said to his sister, over and over, as she sobbed on the other line. He sped at an alarming rate, but Kurt’s own concern for Sadie overrode any fear he had in Sebastian’s driving, especially when spending so much time looking at his phone. He still felt relieved when they finally entered a residential area and Sebastian slowed down, finally stopping in the middle of a neighborhood street in front of a home that was obviously housing a party with scatterings of people on the lawn, drinking and laughing loudly and music blaring through the open door and windows, loud enough for Kurt to be surprised that the cops hadn’t been called yet.

“Just stay here. I’ll be right back,” Sebastian said roughly. He jumped out of the car and made his way up the lawn. Kurt immediately saw an obvious thick outline against the back of Sebastian’s tight t-shirt and he found himself scrambling out of the car after him, his blood running cold in his veins.

Sebastian still clutched the phone to his ear as he followed Sadie’s instructions into the master bedroom, Kurt following close behind. The room was empty and he could hear Sadie on the phone and behind the door on the far wall as she called Sebastian’s name.

“I’ m here. No one’s outside. Open the door,” Sebastian said. Sadie came out, mascara smudged and still running down her face from her tears and hair seriously rumpled like it had been pulled violently. The strap on her dress had been ripped off and she had long scratches down her left arm with dark blood already scabbing over. She clutched at Sebastian’s waist for a moment, muttering ‘I’m sorrys’ and ‘thank yous’ into his chest as he wrapped his arms around her. He broke the hold quickly, though.

“Who was it?” He asked roughly, fury coloring his tone.

“This guy Colton. I think he’s still here; we need to go,” Sadie said, smearing her hands against her eyes as she took Sebastian’s arm and they hurried into the living room. Kurt watched nervously as Sebastian’s eyes raked the room. Sadie let out a squeak and moved to hurry with Sebastian following her gaze.

“In the black polo?” Sebastian asked, trying to disguise the murderous rage in his voice. Sadie just nodded and made to tug Sebastian out the door. He pulled from her hold.

“Kurt. Take Sadie to the car,” Sebastian ordered, already turning to walk towards Colton, who still hadn’t noticed them.

Kurt hesitated. “Bas, don’t be stupid. Let’s just go.” He tried to grab and pull at Sebastian’s fingers, but the other boy pulled away sharply.

“Just go,” Sebastian shouted, marching with purpose to Colton. The boy had just recognized his presence when Sebastian pulled back his arm and clocked Colton in the face, sending him tumbling to the ground. Colton struggled to get back up as two of his buddies made to advance on Sebastian, about to retaliate. Before they could get to close, Sebastian reached behind him and pulled his father’s glock from the back of his pants, sweeping across the small group of Colton and his friends. Everyone backed off immediately, raising their hands, and small screams erupted around the room as people rushed to get out. Kurt and Sadie still stood by the front door, pressed against the wall as they watched in horror. Kurt grabbed Sadie’s unhurt arm and started to pull her out the door, terrifyingly unsure of what Sebastian was going to do, but positive that he wouldn’t want Sadie to watch.

Inside Sebastian had Colton slammed up against a wall, his gun pressing into the boy’s cheek threateningly. A few of his friends were cautiously watching from afar and Sebastian could hear someone on the phone with the police, so he knew he’d have to hurry to get out of there.

“If you so much as think of coming near my sister again, I will castrate you and shove your own dick down your throat until you choke and die. Do you fucking understand?” Sebastian shouted in Colton’s ear. The boy nodded weakly, looking like he was about to collapse. Sebastian shoved away from him, bringing his arm back and flinging forward for one more good punch, sending the boy crashing back to the ground. He watched him fall, clutching at his broken and bloodied nose before turning harshly and bounding to the car where Kurt was still helping Sadie in to sit on his lap. They all climbed in quickly and Sebastian took off, not even sure of where he was driving.

He realized after a minute that the gun was still clutched in his right hand up at the wheel. He dropped it in his glove box, slamming it shut and letting his hand fall to his side. Kurt watched him hesitantly. He wasn’t 100% sure what had happened in the house, but he was sure that he would’ve heard if there was a gunshot, even over the insanely loud music. They drove for a few minutes before Sebastian found a familiar street and started to find his way back home.

“Seb? I’m so sorry. I was really stupid, going back there with him, but I didn’t think he was going to get so violent. I thought we were just going to hook up a little, but he wanted more and got really mad and-” Sadie’s concern and worry seemed to stretch far beyond the events of the night. Sebastian cut her off.

“Sadie, stop. It’s not your fault. I’m just…I’m just glad you’re okay.” Kurt could hear the gruffness in Sebastian’s voice as he struggled to remain tough and secure. He reached a tentative hand to cover Sebastian’s, feeling relief when he flipped his hand to grasp Kurt’s gently. Kurt spent the rest of the ride thumbing smooth circles over Sebastian’s hand as he drove a few miles under the speed limit, more cautious than Kurt had ever seen him.

Sadie sat on Kurt’s thigh, working to control her erratic breathing, calm her tears, and attempt to make herself look somewhat presentable, flattening her hair and wiping at her face. They arrived in the garage and she took one last calming breath. When neither of the boys moved to get out, she leaned forward to kiss Sebastian’s cheek and wrapping her arms awkwardly around his neck. She pressed a light peck to Kurt’s cheek as well, muttering that she was going in to take a long bath.

Sebastian sat, still stiff and unmoved for several minutes after she exited the car before the tears broke from his tough façade, cascading down his cheeks. Soon his chest was heaving with sobs as he completely lost all control, breaking inside and out. Kurt moved to flip his legs over the center console, squishing against Sebastian and pulling the taller boy into his arms. Sebastian cried into Kurt’s shoulder and eventually breathing in Kurt’s scent calmed his sobs and he was able to almost still his tears with only a few leaking down. Kurt continued to stroke his hands through Sebastian’s hair, down the side of his face, rubbing lightly against the arm curled around him.

Finally, Sebastian was completely in control of himself again. He adjusted slightly from discomfort and Kurt started to move away, apologizing for their awkward embrace.

“No, it’s fine,” Sebastian said, keeping Kurt pulled close, even though he was losing feeling in his leg a little.

“Are you okay?” Kurt asked hesitantly.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. I just…” he trailed off.

“I know,” Kurt murmured, resuming stroking his cheek.

“No,” Sebastian said, sighing. “You don’t know. It’s just…it’s not the first time something like that happened. Not only do I want to kill the guy, but…it just brought up a lot of old stuff, too.” Kurt nodded blankly, not wanting to press for more information. Sebastian sighed again as he caught Kurt’s searching gaze. “Can we go upstairs and talk?”

Kurt nodded, scrambling back over the console and getting out of the car. He grasped Sebastian’s hand once more as they made their way to his room, pausing briefly to check on Sadie through the bathroom door.

Once inside, Sebastian pulled them to the bed and collapsed, still holding Kurt’s hand and scooting forward to press against him, tangling their legs together. He breathed lightly, just watching Kurt for a few minutes as the other boy gazed back at him.

“So?” Kurt prompted. “You still want to talk?” Sebastian took a deep, steeling breath as he nodded.

“I’ve never told you before, but I have a brother, Shane.” Sebastian paused and Kurt nodded encouragingly. “He’s four years older than me and when we were growing up we got along really great. I looked up to him and we would kind of join forces against our bratty little sister,” he said with a smile. “When we moved to Paris and he went to college he started getting into a lot of trouble. He was always kind of a partier, but it got worse. It was like three years ago when he would start to go missing for like a week at a time, scrambling back home at one point for a few changes of clothes and he’d be gone again. He eventually dropped his classes at university since he never actually went and he would come home less and less and it became really obvious that he was doing some hard drugs.

“He lost a ton of weight and his skin just sagged against his bones. His face lost all of its confident charm and he just looked like a crazy person, not my brother. He wouldn’t tell my parents where he was going when they asked and he didn’t listen to them when they said he had to go back to school or get a job. My dad ended up cutting him off, taking all of the money out of his bank account and expecting him to come back, begging for forgiveness and his trust fund. He lasted a few weeks, living off whatever cash he had and probably dealing at that point. He finally came back and my parents got him to go to a rehab program and for a while he pretended to be sober. I think I was the only one who really saw how fucked up he still was, but maybe my parents just wanted to pretend.

“It was really hard on Sadie, too. Shane still didn’t have a bank account and was only getting small amounts of money from my parents for clothes and stuff, which he never used it for anyway. He started to pawn my mom’s jewelry, then Sadie’s when he thought it was getting too obvious. Sadie knew, but she looked past it. Even after everything, she put him up on a pedestal, forgiving him and treating him as if everything was normal. I wasn’t speaking to him anymore at that point, but Sadie would still go out to dinner with him and he’d take her to the movies and see whatever stupid, girly or childish movie she wanted to see. I was really mad at her for acting like anything bad he did was no big deal.” Sebastian’s eyes darkened and his voice lowered as he prepared to tell Kurt the next part. Kurt could immediately feel the difference in tension; Sebastian’s brows furrowed as he tried to reign in his lingering anger.

“Then one Saturday night,” Sebastian said slowly. “About a year after everything started happening, two years ago, Shane and Sadie were going to go cosmic bowling late at night. I don’t know what happened or why Shane made the detour, but he brought Sadie to some crack house.” Sebastian’s grip tightened on Kurt’s hand. “I don’t know if maybe he was just going into withdrawals and needed to stop to get a quick fix or what, but Sadie called me. She had locked herself in a bathroom.” Sebastian closed his eyes, flashing back to earlier in the evening and that night two years ago. “She said Shane had stuck something in his arm and she kind of knew what was going on, but she was still a little naïve for a thirteen year old. She’s almost a completely different person now, with how everything has changed her. Anyway, some of the guys there were messing with her, grabbing at her and…and…” Sebastian choked on his words, breathing deeply to continue.

“It’s okay,” Kurt murmured, stroking Sebastian’s arm. Finally Sebastian spoke.

“Shane was too far gone to probably even care to help, so Sadie locked herself in a bathroom and called me. She only kind of knew where she was and it took forever of me just driving around neighborhoods in her general area to find Shane’s car. The gun laws are a lot stricter there and so we had left ours behind when we moved. I had to break in and literally wave a chef’s knife around. I must have looked like an insane person, but maybe that was why the guys stayed back. Shane was sitting outside the bathroom door at that point, trying to get Sadie out, but he was still really out of it. Sadie came out when I got there and Shane tried to follow us out.

“I pretty much told him that he had to stay away and he wasn’t allowed to come back.” Sebastian said the last part with sad acceptance. “I told him if he came home I was going to kill him in his sleep for putting Sadie in danger like that and I haven’t seen him since. My mom put out a missing persons report after a few weeks, but she had pretty much just thought he’d relapsed for sure and ran off again. I never told her what happened, that it was really my fault he wasn’t coming back, and even though I don’t feel guilty about forcing him to leave us, I sometimes wish I could tell my parents without them hating me. We ended up moving back here a year later when my parents finally gave up, figuring he wasn’t going to come back again. He’s probably still back in Paris, passed out in an alleyway with no idea that we are back in the States.

“Sadie still forgave him for everything, though. She wanted me to tell our mom about everything and she wanted to start looking for him at first. She tries to bring him up every once in a while, but I don’t like to talk about it. At least she’s never been angry with me for making him stay away. She understands how I feel about him and everything he’s done, even though she doesn’t feel the same way. She’s the person I’m closest to in the entire world because no matter how much she loved Shane and forgave him, she chose me and sided with me when it came down to it even though she could’ve easily blamed me for taking her brother away.” The room became eerily quieter as Sebastian finally stopped speaking. He opened his eyes from a long blink to find Kurt still staring at him.

“Bas…,” Kurt began, his voice already breaking. “I…I’m so…I’m so sorry.” Sebastian just nodded. Kurt scooted even closer, wanting to press himself as close as possible to the other boy. Sebastian didn’t break down and cry again like Kurt thought he might. Instead he felt so much lighter, finally breathing easily for the first time since Sadie’s phone call.

They laid together for an hour, tracing soft patterns across each other’s face, arms, and chest. Finally, Sebastian whispered, “Kurt?”

“Mmmm?” Kurt hummed, eyes heavy.

“Thank you.” Kurt cocked his head slightly in question. “For coming with me tonight. For listening.” He paused before asking, “Will you stay with me tonight?”

Kurt had made no attempt to move in the past hour and it was already well into the night, even starting to be early morning. He was surprised that Sebastian thought he was going to sneak out, maybe waiting for Sebastian to fall asleep before trying to leave. The idea hadn’t even crossed his mind and that actually scared him. He had made it a point before to not spend the night, leaving soon after the sex was over, but he had been staying longer and longer. No matter what the pattern had been, though, there was no way he could leave Sebastian tonight. Kurt knew he would lie in the dark, mind wrapped in history with his drug addicted brother and the events of the night if he left.

“Of course,” Kurt replied, not noticing Sebastian was tensed until he relaxed slightly at his words. Sebastian pressed in impossibly closer, his face slipping back into its normal, calm, confident position.

Kurt acted on a whim. Almost his entire self was telling him that he was getting too emotionally invested. A self-preserving voice in his head screamed at him to roll over and just go to sleep, but a more vulnerable part of him broke through. He gave in to all of his deeply buried desires and leaned forward to close the only gap between himself and Sebastian. His lips touched gently against Sebastian’s, waiting a moment for him to relax from the small shock that ran through his body at the unexpected touch.

It didn’t take too long for Sebastian to respond, pressing lightly into the kiss. Noises of small swipes of the tongue, drags of lips, light sucking, and heavy breathing filled the room, both boys kissing sweetly and lazily and sleepily, neither making any motion for it to turn into anything more. It was calm and serene and satisfying with underlying currents of a closeness so much deeper than Kurt could really try to comprehend.

It wasn’t for a long while before they finally pulled apart, letting their heads fall back with drowsiness, still pressing light kisses at the random patches of skin their lips were near and finally stripping down to their boxer briefs. Sebastian fell asleep soon after and Kurt watched him for a while. It was a monumentally huge thing for him to be lying next to this boy, trying to fall asleep. He pushed away any doubts nagging in his mind about what a mistake he might be making and the possible repercussions and just let himself be held, drifting to a slow, content slumber.

Kurt was awoken with early morning lazy sex, both of them moving slowly and blissfully as they came together. Sebastian suggested a shower together and Kurt agreed. It wasn’t until he stepped into scorching water and noticed the increased intimacy that Kurt finally felt all of his concerns and worries come crashing back down on him. This is exactly what he had been trying so hard to avoid. He’d let himself slip up the night before and now he was in trouble. He couldn’t exactly pull back and try to be distant and uninvolved anymore, but he couldn’t handle going any further at the moment. He couldn’t handle putting himself out there, trusting so fully, just to be broken down again.

He shoved all of his feelings deep inside himself and chanted in his head. It is just a shower. It is just a shower. It is just a shower.

He let himself be washed, forcing his muscles to relax at Sebastian’s lingering hands, then he turned to grab the shampoo and squeeze a dollop directly onto the other boy’s head. He rubbed it in soothingly and once it was worked through he began sticking up the hair in strange directions, a Mohawk at first, then weird spontaneous spikes before twirling the short stands into small curls, smiling and laughing at each creation while the boy grinned beneath him. Finally, he moved to tilt Sebastian’s head back into the steady stream of water, raking his fingers through his hair to rinse out the remaining shampoo. After a quick coat of conditioner Sebastian was doing the same to Kurt, working deeply into his scalp. Kurt let his eyes flutter shut as the tension faded out of him. Sebastian spun him gently and began massaging at his shoulders before leaning down to suck light kisses along Kurt’s neck and shoulders, tasting traces of body wash and shampoo.

Kurt’s dick twitched with interest, but was still too weighed down from the morning’s adventures. He let himself sag a little against Sebastian, too relaxed to worry over the fact that the whole shower was more about closeness and less about sex than he should allow. When they were both finally clean and relaxed they stepped out and Sebastian wrapped Kurt in a huge white towel before finding one for himself.

Kurt dried quickly, finally allowing himself to hurry and work on getting out of there quickly so he could just think for a few minutes. He was back in Sebastian’s room and pulling on his clothes when Sebastian emerged.

“You leaving?” Sebastian asked and Kurt could hear the undercurrent in his tone.

“Yeah. My dad’s probably wondering where I am,” Kurt spoke the excuse without thought, used to using it as a means for escape before he froze. “Oh, crap! I didn’t tell my dad I was staying out all night. Shit. Shit. Shit.” Kurt began frantically searching for his phone. He found it finally, but it was dead from not being charged in a full day. “Shit. He is going to kill me.”

“Calm down, babe,” Sebastian moved to place a hand on Kurt’s arm, but he smacked it away.

“Easy for you to say. You don’t have to go deal with him.” Kurt rushed out of the bedroom, Sebastian following behind him while still only wearing a towel.

“I would come to help you deal with him,” Sebastian said, smirking.

“Like that would help,” Kurt muttered, glad to have reached the front door without running into any other of the other Smythes.

It wasn’t until they reached Kurt’s car that he noticed Sebastian outside in just a towel. Sebastian just grinned as Kurt’s eyes raked over the same naked torso he had seen all night and all morning. It still never failed to amaze him.

“Can I ask you something?” Sebastian broke Kurt from his thoughts. Kurt gave a small nod.

“Why don’t we ever go to your house? You said your parents are in D.C. a lot,” Sebastian said.

Kurt hesitated for a long moment before responding, “I don’t really want to tell you. I don’t think you want to know.”

“I do,” Sebastian insisted. “Whatever it is, even if it’s bad, I still want to know. I won’t get mad or anything.”

Kurt finally whispered, “It’s a bit harder to kick someone out of your bed minutes after sex than it is to leave someone else’s bed.”

Sebastian was silent for a moment. “Oh.” Kurt looked at him guiltily. “But you don’t leave right after anymore.”

“I know,” Kurt responded. “I just got into the habit of coming over here, I guess.”

“So….Can I come over to your house next time your dad leaves?” Sebastian asked.

“Uh…sure, I guess. Dad will be back in D.C. by tomorrow night and there’s no reason why not anymore,” Kurt says, still searching for an excuse. Sebastian breaks him from his thought process, leaning in for a kiss. Kurt can hardly think of any reason to stop him, almost completely throwing that rule out. In fact, Kurt couldn’t think of any of their boundaries that were still in place and he had no one but himself to blame, Kurt thought as his tongue explored Sebastian’s mouth deeply. He let Sebastian call him babe, which he admitted to kind of liking, he had let them deviate from their strict Friends with Benefits status with their increased closeness and now the ‘no kissing after sex’ rule was completely thrown in the wind. He was completely and utterly doomed, Kurt thought as he finally pulled back.

“I really have to go deal with my dad now,” Kurt said, giving Sebastian a final peck on the lips before turning to his car. Sebastian stepped back to watch him go, but Kurt rolled down his window once the car was started.

“And, Bas?”

“Yeah?”

“Next time, it’s my turn to try something…different,” Kurt said with a grin as he drove off, leaving Sebastian confused and aroused with anticipation.