My Inspirational Aunt Lillian
HALLELUJA !!! I MADE 90 !!!
My father's sister, Lillian, celebrated her 90th birthday Sept 13th with a dinner party attended by 75 friends and family. Gail and I were truly disappointed not to be able to attend due to my illness, but I felt there in spirit and sent the following which was read as a toast to this amazing role model. Ageing is one thing. Ageing with gusto is quite another, and Lillian sets the standard.
Ten years ago Gail and I came to Pittsburgh from Dallas to celebrate my aunt Lillian’s 80th birthday. Lillian is my late father’s youngest sister, and the only surviving family member of my dad’s generation. For whatever reasons families drift apart, after years of being out of contact, we had finally reconnected with Fred and Lillian and were in the process of getting to know them again.
When we told friends in Dallas we were going to Pittsburgh to attend the birthday party of an 80-year-old aunt we became accustomed to a certain amount of eye rolling coupled with a not very sincere “Oh. That should be fun.”
We would reassure them… and perhaps ourselves… “Really, they are very lively folks. They still golf and bowl. It’s going to be a really nice get together at the country club with their family and friends. “Well, no. We don’t really know any of these folks, and it’s true we don’t golf or bowl and have never been too interested in the country club scene, but we really have enjoyed all our contacts with Fred and Lillian up to this point. For whatever reason, we were truly excited about the opportunity to reconnect with these long lost relatives and they seemed just as eager to reconnect with us. If it all turned out to be a bust, at least I would get a chance to show Gail around Pittsburgh, the city where I was born and where I lived until the fifth grade.
It didn’t take long to realize that any doubts we had about this trip were totally misplaced. Lillian, at the age of eighty vibrated with more vitality, energy and good will than most people half her age. This energy, coupled with her no non-sense, down to earth attitude towards life was contagious, and reflected in the lively friends and family who came together to celebrate this remarkable woman. They shared an enthusiasm for the moment, laughing, telling stories and jokes, playing music, dancing and making the most of a very special occasion.
Our fortunate attendance at that party ten years ago provided a double gift to me and to Gail that has truly enriched our lives since then with love and support and with memorable experiences. Not only did it reopen my relationship with my amazing Aunt Lillian, but also provided the bonus of the last ten years of friendship with her wonderful daughter, Linda.
It has been our pleasure to keep in touch with Lillian through regular phone calls, and visits. We have visited with her in Pittsburgh, at Linda’s in South Carolina and she recently came to see us in Austin. At an age when many are content to sit at home, Lillian is quite the frequent flyer, and has learned to haul her otherwise seldom used cane to the airport to get some special treatment on boarding and disembarking. She comes to new experiences with an open mind. After hearing others reports, she did not think she would be interested in seeing the Alamo, but she gave it a look on our urging and found herself intrigued with the fascinating presentation of history that was available in that historic building. Ten years ago she absolutely did not want to own a computer, but now she is not only a master of email, but also regularly reads my blog and passes on recollections of family history to me to include or elaborate on in my writing.
Although she retains relationships from all the eras of her life she is not big on nostalgia and you don’t often hear her yearning for the good old days, even though I’m sure she enjoyed those times as much as she enjoys the present. Lillian lives in the present, and plans for the future. She always has something going on. Whether she is organizing a monthly get together for her community center, working with her high school reunion group, heading out for a visit with Linda or going to movies or a musical with friends, she always has something fun and interesting in the works.
Lillian does not dwell in the negative aspects of life. Not long after we reunited with Fred and Lillian, Fred, the love of her life, passed away and Lillian had to make many adjustments. She acknowledged her great loss, did what she had to do to get back on an even keel and has re-achieved the ability to live and enjoy her active and exciting life in her new circumstances. If you ask her about her health she will tell you if there are problems, but she will not go on about them. She is really more interested in talking about what she is doing and what she is looking forward to rather than what she cannot do that she used to be able to do.
Her example has been an incredible and wonderful lesson over the years to me and to Gail. We have seen her navigate adversity without wasting a lot of time bemoaning it, and have learned from her that it is possible to celebrate the moment and find enjoyment through out life by staying in the present, maintaining relationships with friends and family. All this, and looking great, too! Congratulations, Lillian. 90 never looked so good!