I used to waste my time dreaming of being alive...16/?

[viktoriavampyr]

Liking Brendon the way I did made me see things that I hadn’t noticed before. I’d seen them, yes.
Registered? No. But now I did.
Like the fact that he was just that little bit shorter than me; not by much, but I was still taller.
The fact that his wide brown eyes would focus on whoever was speaking at the time, as though he was drinking up their words, absorbing everything they said.
His - well, I couldn’t really say his ass, because I’d noticed that right from the start.

So when I was sitting with the others in Spencer’s room as the walls turned orange in the dying light, I took the opportunity to see more, to learn more.

Despite my good intentions, I instead found myself turning slowly but steadily redder as Brendon lay on his stomach alongside me, which only emphasised how big his ass was.
This was getting harder and harder.

Spencer, however, hadn’t looked at Brendon once.
The expression that he wore was what Brendon had called his ‘bitch-face’ which Spencer wasn’t too pleased about, and put on his ‘bitch-face’ whenever anyone mentioned it, and only made us laugh louder.

I had to stifle a giggle whenever I glanced at his face, it was just so funny.
Jon was very subdued; every smile was strained, every laugh forced.

Okay, I’m not an idiot; I know something’s going on and I just wish I knew what...

I didn’t want to ponder over what I thought what it was, in case I was wrong, so every time the thoughts started to form in my mind I pushed them away and went back to the conversation.

Very hard.

----

Brendon and I went down to the kitchen to get the pizza that was left over from earlier to take up to the others.

Spencer’s mom had left about three hours before, but before she went she told us all with a grin, “Enjoy yourselves, but just don’t do anything naughty.”

At first it sounded like she was talking to us like we were seven, but then I wondered if there was actually more meaning to her words.
Jon had blushed. So he’s thinking that way too...

So we’d lazed around, watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles because there was nothing better to watch, and because it meant we could turn the volume down and make up what they were saying. It was a lot more fun.

Then we watched Lord of the Rings and did the same thing, only we laughed a whole lot more because Jon made them all gay, and then everything they said sounded homoerotic. I laughed in spite of myself.

I am never going to look at that film in the same way...

And now they’d made us go down and get the last of the pizza.

Lazy sods...

“Hey, Ry?” Brendon murmured, slipping his hand into mine and resting his head on my shoulder.

“Yeah?”

“Remember what you told me, um...five weeks ago?” His voice was nervous, which was very unlike him, and I froze.

“What about?” I asked cautiously.

Brendon sensed my sudden tension and wrapped his arm about my waist, saying hurriedly, “It’s okay - it’s just - you said that you’d show me why - why you hate your body...”
My blood ran cold and he trailed off, flushing.
I didn’t want to show him, not now. I wasn’t ready for it.

“If you don’t want to that’s okay,” he whispered, picking up the boxes left over.
“I just wondered, that’s all.”

“I will show you Bren,” I muttered reluctantly, making my mind up on the spot.
“Just - don’t tell anyone when I do, okay?”

Brendon nodded, running his fingers along my spine. I shivered and he smiled impishly at me, his hand at my waist as we traipsed back up the stairs.

“Right, truth or dare!” he yelled loudly as he barged through the door, throwing the pizza down at Spencer’s feet.
Jon rose instantly and shut the curtains, blocking the night sky from view.

I looked apprehensively at Spencer, but he was grinning an evil Spencer-grin, as only Spencer could do. He wasn’t bitch-facing anymore, which surprised me.

That meant I definitely had a good reason to be worried.

----

It was very reminiscent of all those weeks ago; I was getting a strong sense of déjà vu, from the way we all sat across from each other, right down to the anxious-excitable-panicky fluttering in my stomach that everyone gets before playing truth or dare.

It’s not like they can do anything worse to us, can they?

~Brendon~

I moved over to sit right behind Ryan, who was looking increasingly nervous with every second that went by, and traced my hands down his sides before wrapping my arms around his waist, feeling him relax as he leaned against me. I stretched my legs out alongside his, despite Jon and Spencer being there, scrutinising our every move. I’d always done that though, it was normal, yet I noticed that nothing had been said about our speaking to each other again.

Well, it was a lot more than just speaking, but we were still trying to hide that fact, even if they did know, and I was glad that neither of them had brought up the topic of us making up.
They were perfectly aware that I was scrutinising them too, and it was making them very uncomfortable.

I was aching to hold Ryan that little bit tighter, but then there were Jon and Spencer to think about, so I just moved my hand to his chest, holding him to me more firmly.

I hate this.

And...we would soon be playing truth or dare.

God knows what’ll come out tonight.

I sighed, and Ryan said, “Who’s going to start, then?” somewhat reluctantly, his shoulder blades digging into my chest as he leaned even further into me.

“I will!” said Jon enthusiastically, waving his arms in the air. “Ryan!”

Ryan stiffened, bracing himself. His heart was pounding in his chest; I could feel it beating unevenly under my hand. I was sort of scared now, my imagination going into overdrive as I thought of all the possibilities.

“Truth, dare, double dare, kiss, torture or promise?”

“Where the hell did you get that from?” Ryan asked incredulously, and I smirked at Jon, waiting for the explanation.

“I was forced into playing with a group of girls when I was eleven,” he explained, flushing as Spencer looked at him, amused.

Ryan twisted around and glanced at me, raising an eyebrow in disbelief.
I pulled a face and he laughed, looking back at Jon as he wriggled around, trying to settle into a comfortable position again.

I bit back a gasp, feeling shivers of pleasure ripple through my entire body as he rearranged himself. I moved back from Ryan instantly, drawing my hands away and blushing as I saw the confusion flash across his face.
I breathed deeply, trying to ignore the bulge in my jeans.
He looked down and flushed violently, turning back to the others and asking, “What does double dare mean?”

Spencer was watching us both, a smile creeping onto his face.

I lay down on my stomach, achieving that with some difficulty, trying to play the I-so-did-not-just-get-a-boner-in-front-of-my-friends card.

The corner of Jon’s mouth twitched, and he said, “It means you have to do the dare with someone else.”

“Okay, I’m not choosing that then,” he muttered, almost to himself.

My heart gradually slowed to its normal rate, and I groaned inwardly.

That was embarrassing beyond anything I’ve ever done in my entire life...

“So, Ryan...?” prompted Jon, growing impatient. “And the uh, pass rule is the same as last time too.” Colour tinged his cheeks as he said this.

I tried to get over my embarrassment and pay attention to what was going on.

Too hard, in so many ways.

~Ryan~

I really, really hoped I was wrong.

Holy. Shit.

Jon was still waiting for an answer though, so I muttered, “Um, truth?”

Spencer and Jon smirked at each other.

Wait, what did I say again?

“Ryan, tell me this,” said Jon, sounding very much like the school’s principal. “Have you ever kissed a guy?”

I think all the blood drained out of my face. Brendon was frozen on the floor next to me. I wondered how many others of our age actually even played truth or dare, let alone told the truth in it.

“The truth, Ry,” Spencer reminded me.
 I stuck my tongue out at him childishly. I chanced a glance at Brendon to see him looking back at me, biting down on his lip.
He looked so cute when he did that, but he looked as though he was pleading with me silently.

I know, I don’t want to have to say it, Bren...

I took a deep breath and turned back to Jon. “Yeah, I have.”

But then Brendon chimed in with, “But so have you, Jon, and the rest of us in the room, we’ve all kissed a guy at some point.”

To say I was relieved would be an understatement, and seeing the look on Jon’s face just about cinched it for me. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t thought of that.

“Yeah, but I meant other than in truth or dare,” he clarified, the smirk returning to his face. Brendon’s face fell.

“I, um...fine, yes, I have!” I spat, eager to get it over with. My face was probably thunderous, and Spencer and Jon both grinned at each other. “Who?”

The heat rose in my face, and I shifted uncomfortably, not looking at either of them.

“One question only, guys,” said Brendon glaring at them.

Admittedly, we weren’t going to be able to keep this secret much longer, but I just really didn’t want anyone to know.

I mean, I’ve known Spence all my life, but after what he did...I don’t know whether I can trust him anymore...

“Right,” I said, lying on my back so they couldn’t see my red face. “Spencer.”

“Yup!” he said brightly, but I heard the fear in his voice. He was beginning to get nervous.

“What Jon said,” I muttered, tapping my fingers on the floor.

I wondered what he’d choose. No one in their right mind would choose kiss or torture; you’d have to be insane.

“Dare,” he said tentatively. I couldn’t see his face, but I could imagine the expression that was on it. I sat up slightly, but he turned his face away from us.

Brendon moved over and leaned against me, holding my waist and putting his lips close to my ear.

His hot breath tickled my skin as he whispered, his voice low, “Get him to straddle Jon for the rest of the game. A variation on what we had to do.”

I nodded slightly and sat up completely, looking at Spencer who appeared extremely apprehensive, and said, “Straddle Jon for the rest of the game.”

His face went crimson, and he sighed, shutting his eyes before looking apologetically at Jon, who lay down on the floor reluctantly.

He looked like he just wanted to sink through the carpet and never be seen again. Spencer awkwardly climbed on top of him and I grinned as Jon turned the brightest pink I’ve ever seen anyone go.

“Ah, good times,” sighed Brendon dramatically, grinning. “Now you have to stay like that for the rest of the game, you can’t get up for anything except another dare.”

Much as I’d loathed them for making us do that, and wouldn’t dare of making them do that normally, I felt my mean streak shining through and decided that they deserved it.

Spencer and Jon would not look at each other, instead choosing to glare at us while still bright red.
It didn’t have quite the effect that it should have had.

“This isn’t truth or dare, this is who can come up with the dodgiest things for everyone else to do -”

“Ha ha, you said come,” Brendon giggled. Spencer looked witheringly at him.

“You’re a douche, Bren,” Jon said breathlessly. Clearly having Spencer on top of him was beginning to take its toll.

I glared at Jon. Oh yeah, and you’re not?

Brendon’s face fell, his bottom lip wobbling as it slipped into a pout, looking so downtrodden it made me want to cry. He clearly wasn’t the sort to take things like that well. He crossed his legs carefully and wrapped his arms around my stomach, pressing his face into my back.
I really wanted to hug him, and to slap Jon around the face.

“Spencer’s turn,” he said hurriedly, catching my expression.

“Jon!”

Jon did a double-take. He obviously hadn’t been expecting that, and quite frankly, neither had I. Brendon peered around me, curious.

I thought he was going to ask me, that’s how it went last time...

Spencer closed his eyes for a second, then: “Truth, dare, etcetera?”

Jon looked at the ceiling. “Um...truth.”

Spencer pursed his lips for a moment before asking, “Uh...who out of everyone in the room would you rather bang?”

If Jon’s face had been red before, it was nothing compared to what it was like now. Brendon was shaking with laughter behind me, which did nothing to help keep certain...issues under control.
I couldn’t believe that Spencer would ask something like that.
He was just too...sensible.

Jon smirked inexplicably, but then said calmly, “Well, if I screwed Brendon, Ryan’d get jealous, so I’ll have to say you, Spencer.”
He realised what he’d just announced to the world, and blushed, as did Spencer.
My face grew hot, and I turned my head slightly to glance at Brendon, who was equally red.

It was true. I’d probably kill him if he did.

If they like each other...I am so finding out...

Sorry for the delay, damn you school...considered ditching this again, it was just so difficult, but anyways...feedback ma cherie...