so im still here
So, i'm stil here. I got a better paying job as a graphic artist - several miles away from my township - been commuting illegally for months! I bought a house - a shitty little hovel out on the sticks - by the railyard in ***, New Mexico. I did it initially to be close to my prevoius job at the paper. I bought it in case my ex, a lady twelve years older than me needed a place to stay.
The bitch dumped soon as she got on her feet. Which I helped her do. I live on the wrong side of the tracks for months - hunkered down the cold winters with a mummy bag in this crummy house. The floors sag, the house stinks cause of sewage, and being semi-rural, it was a shame to find roaches around.
I braved it out. I have .25 acres in city limits, lax-zoning ( I could have goats) and I live by the ol rail yard.
I have enemies - people who want to kill me, but will have a fight on their hands should they choose to do so.
I rekindled a relationship with a girl i loved in my youth - we love eachother.
And I work. I work and I drink. and I work. I was up to a month ago the ONLY designer present for a multi million dollar indian gaming venture in what are likely the harshest cold/hot/hard desert conditions of the NM Southwest.
I did all of this just in time - I make my bills, I got my little house. It's okay, except I hate my house. It's a crumbling block wall piece of shit, but it is the first time I have all my shit under one roof on MY TERMS!
I stay in the city a lot with my girl - she's smart and has in in-resident special needs person living with her so she makes decent bank.
I commute in my sister's shitty VW Beetle. She loaned it to me, and i've been using it for months. I offered to buy this embarassing piece of shit from her-but she's too hung up on her tackiness to let the piece of shit go. Nonentheless, it's been a good car - though it 's like driving in a fishbowl on wheels: hot in these months and colder than shit in the winter.
I work and I drink - I am now a project manager/trainer/whatwever the fuck Graphic Designer. I'm a bad fuckin boy!!!! I trip on my own shit, and reverse engineer as i meditate/drive. I want to punch truckers in the face!!!!! I get girls to send me nasty pics of themselves, and i relish the shit!
People are so non-committal these days, and these girls are always throwing their shit up in my face 24/7. I know it sounds weird, but I've found balance in my own chaos.
I used to hate marketing - now I like baiting suckers into my casino. We give you this, we take away that. It's all fun...make em feel good.
I've been listening to what I can call "INDUSTRIAL DUBSTEP" - filthy mechanical dissonance that sounds much like the railyard I live by.
These days for me are calculating, conniving, conspiratorial, and full of mimicry, and manipulation. It's all manipulations when it comes down to it; take this, give that. Bargain, etc. Sometimes it hurts me when I go too hard, push too far drink too much and push out the work - but it's all worth it.
IT'S ABOUT SENSATION!!!!!! Serve the sensation! Serve it, and it will serve you. Nurture it and it will nurture you. EVRYONE needs nurture. it only takes the keys; play timid when needed, play domineer when needed. I dont care. At the end of the day (whenever that is) REST is all thats needed.
The bitch dumped soon as she got on her feet. Which I helped her do. I live on the wrong side of the tracks for months - hunkered down the cold winters with a mummy bag in this crummy house. The floors sag, the house stinks cause of sewage, and being semi-rural, it was a shame to find roaches around.
I braved it out. I have .25 acres in city limits, lax-zoning ( I could have goats) and I live by the ol rail yard.
I have enemies - people who want to kill me, but will have a fight on their hands should they choose to do so.
I rekindled a relationship with a girl i loved in my youth - we love eachother.
And I work. I work and I drink. and I work. I was up to a month ago the ONLY designer present for a multi million dollar indian gaming venture in what are likely the harshest cold/hot/hard desert conditions of the NM Southwest.
I did all of this just in time - I make my bills, I got my little house. It's okay, except I hate my house. It's a crumbling block wall piece of shit, but it is the first time I have all my shit under one roof on MY TERMS!
I stay in the city a lot with my girl - she's smart and has in in-resident special needs person living with her so she makes decent bank.
I commute in my sister's shitty VW Beetle. She loaned it to me, and i've been using it for months. I offered to buy this embarassing piece of shit from her-but she's too hung up on her tackiness to let the piece of shit go. Nonentheless, it's been a good car - though it 's like driving in a fishbowl on wheels: hot in these months and colder than shit in the winter.
I work and I drink - I am now a project manager/trainer/whatwever the fuck Graphic Designer. I'm a bad fuckin boy!!!! I trip on my own shit, and reverse engineer as i meditate/drive. I want to punch truckers in the face!!!!! I get girls to send me nasty pics of themselves, and i relish the shit!
People are so non-committal these days, and these girls are always throwing their shit up in my face 24/7. I know it sounds weird, but I've found balance in my own chaos.
I used to hate marketing - now I like baiting suckers into my casino. We give you this, we take away that. It's all fun...make em feel good.
I've been listening to what I can call "INDUSTRIAL DUBSTEP" - filthy mechanical dissonance that sounds much like the railyard I live by.
These days for me are calculating, conniving, conspiratorial, and full of mimicry, and manipulation. It's all manipulations when it comes down to it; take this, give that. Bargain, etc. Sometimes it hurts me when I go too hard, push too far drink too much and push out the work - but it's all worth it.
IT'S ABOUT SENSATION!!!!!! Serve the sensation! Serve it, and it will serve you. Nurture it and it will nurture you. EVRYONE needs nurture. it only takes the keys; play timid when needed, play domineer when needed. I dont care. At the end of the day (whenever that is) REST is all thats needed.