I need... APUSH
Okay, legally, I'm not allowed to discuss the context of the test with anyone ever (EVER) or I could forfeit my test score, but... I am allowed to divulge the scribbles in my notes to the world... and perhaps, a couple of sentences relating to the essays, out of context...
"I have just composed the worst metaphor simile of my life. Forgive me, Shakespeare. And my English teacher."
A few centimeters down the page, "Correction: I am writing the worst essay of the past five years of my life. WHY GOD WHY"
Four pages later: "Correction: NOW I am writing the worst metaphor of my life."
I mentioned the teddy bear. I mentioned how the famous and elusive mohair went extinct, hunted for its fur to be given to the soft, huggable toy. I quoted Kurt Vonnegut on the irony of sparing the life of one bear cub and paying with the life of every single mohair on this planet. What does my dad tell me when he picks me up?
Mohairs never existed.
WHY GOD WHY.
And I happened to be seated next to two girls who have such neat handwriting and write so fast. Sweet girls, both of them, but in this context...!!!
And why the Aztecs? When in all of our books of American history has there ever, ever been a word about the Aztecs? Where do the Aztecs live? Mexico! Is Mexico the United States? NO! We care about Mexico as much as we care about Canada on the United States History Exam! Unless you expect us all to have seen Apocalypto, of course...
Perhaps when I get my exam back I'll post some of my horrendous sentences for your enjoyment. Until then... toodle-oo. And remember the mohairs.
"I have just composed the worst metaphor simile of my life. Forgive me, Shakespeare. And my English teacher."
A few centimeters down the page, "Correction: I am writing the worst essay of the past five years of my life. WHY GOD WHY"
Four pages later: "Correction: NOW I am writing the worst metaphor of my life."
I mentioned the teddy bear. I mentioned how the famous and elusive mohair went extinct, hunted for its fur to be given to the soft, huggable toy. I quoted Kurt Vonnegut on the irony of sparing the life of one bear cub and paying with the life of every single mohair on this planet. What does my dad tell me when he picks me up?
Mohairs never existed.
WHY GOD WHY.
And I happened to be seated next to two girls who have such neat handwriting and write so fast. Sweet girls, both of them, but in this context...!!!
And why the Aztecs? When in all of our books of American history has there ever, ever been a word about the Aztecs? Where do the Aztecs live? Mexico! Is Mexico the United States? NO! We care about Mexico as much as we care about Canada on the United States History Exam! Unless you expect us all to have seen Apocalypto, of course...
Perhaps when I get my exam back I'll post some of my horrendous sentences for your enjoyment. Until then... toodle-oo. And remember the mohairs.