(no subject)
it's weird hearing my mom talk on the phone to my (ex)stepdad. it's like... 8ish months ago they were together, they were in love, or so i thought. and now they're not and they're talking divorce, and the conversation between them is so incredibly strained and sarcastic. it's awful, and i feel so bad for her. when amber and i were broken up, i felt like my world was ending, you know? and i'm only sixteen, and we've only been together six months (off and on, whatever). my mom is in her forties. they had been together over seven years. i never once thought of how she was feeling. my world was crashing down over a high school relationship. her marriage ended. but she's okay.
i hate her so much alot of the time, but... i really gotta admire her and love her sometimes. everybody is always telling me how strong i am. i don't see it, but if i really am strong, i bet i get it from her. i know i do.
my gramma is dying.
i don't really know what else to say about it. i'm sad. it sucks. and maybe i'm just trying to be tough here by not crying or mourning. or maybe it's finally gotten through my head with all the deaths i've gone through... people die. they go away. it happens. it'll happen to my mom. it'll happen to me one day. it's scary, yeah. but i'm scared of everything. so maybe that's just me. but it's really not as tragic as everyone makes it out to be.
though, i still can't get over mario, so maybe i am just trying to be a hardass.
i dunno. ramble ramble ramble goodnight.
i hate her so much alot of the time, but... i really gotta admire her and love her sometimes. everybody is always telling me how strong i am. i don't see it, but if i really am strong, i bet i get it from her. i know i do.
my gramma is dying.
i don't really know what else to say about it. i'm sad. it sucks. and maybe i'm just trying to be tough here by not crying or mourning. or maybe it's finally gotten through my head with all the deaths i've gone through... people die. they go away. it happens. it'll happen to my mom. it'll happen to me one day. it's scary, yeah. but i'm scared of everything. so maybe that's just me. but it's really not as tragic as everyone makes it out to be.
though, i still can't get over mario, so maybe i am just trying to be a hardass.
i dunno. ramble ramble ramble goodnight.