(no subject)
I know I decided not to write in this thing anymore but since I dont have any other real connections with anyone I figured I would. I decided to move back home and go to school for my eleventh and twelfth grade years. It wasnt an easy decision but it was a decision non the less. It's so hard to let go of what once was, and everyone keeps telling me to move on, but its not that easy. Its not easy when you have to choose over two parents, two families, two lives. One will be gone and another will be left to deal with. How am I supposed to just move on when the only thing I have left are my memories? I guess thats life right? you make the choices, and you deal with the consequences of your responsibility. I wish someone would have told me how hard it was going to be. Now that I've decided to go back to Florida I thought it would get easier, but I was wrong. Now I have to deal with the life that I have already made for myself. I fell asleep crying lastnight, just thinking what I would be missing here and what I would be gainging in Florida. I learned that either way I lose. I hate that I have to hurt everyone.. My parents, my friends, my brothers. I come, I go, I come, I go, as soon as I enter someones life Im gone again. I've seen my dads eyes in my mind athousand times, pleading me to come back. I remember my moms expresssions when I told her I wanted to go home like it was yesterday. I wish I could just go back to the beginning of the year and try to make mom and dad happier so that this whole divorce thing wouldnt have happened. Because now I cant imagine being away from titusville anymore, and I can't imagine leaving this place. Im gonna stop rambling now. Maybe I'll update again one day.