Barely Breathing - Chapter 32
Chapter 32 - Close My Eyes, Hold Me Tight
JULY 20th, 2009 Helsinki, Finland: 10:53 AM
The house was quite. To the point I could barely tell there was anyone besides myself in the residence. That was absurd though, since I knew Bam and Missy were one floor below me and Olivia was in the bathroom down the hall. She was getting ready to accompany Missy over to my mother’s house for the afternoon while the guys were at the bar preparing for the show tonight.
Setting down the guitar on my bed I left the room. Olivia stood in front of the mirror brushing her hair out when I stopped in the doorway. She was attired in yet another dress, which led me to question how she was transporting such a variety of clothes. Then again, she was female and it would probably be better to leave that type of question unspoken.
The subtle care she had taken in choosing her outfit was obvious. A ivory lace creation with a chocolate under layer and coffee flower embellishments on one shoulder. The picture of a sweet, tasteful young woman at a glance. Little did she know the effort was a waste on my already won over mother.
“Are you sure you’ll be fine without me?” My question was aimed at her back, but I could still watch her features in the antique bathroom mirror.
“You need to stop worrying. I’ll be fine without you standing over my shoulder for a few hours.” Our eyes met as she finished her sentence.
Taking the brush from her hand I set it next the other implements on the bathroom counter. I turned her around to face me I brushing a few waves of hair behind her ear and tilted her chin up so we were staring into each other eyes.
“I know you’ll be fine, but I’m still going to worry. Humor me.” Her lips twitched in amusement before she dropped her head to my chest. I took advantage of the closeness to wrap my arms around her.
Nuzzling closer she also set her hand over my heart. “I promise your mother won’t turn me off to your tower.” I nearly choked on my laughter at her quip. “I’m more worried about leaving you with Dunn for hours on end.”
I scoffed at the very idea. “Trust me when I say that will be the least of our worries for the next few months.”
Stepping away she gave me a confused look, eyebrows scrunching together in bewilderment. “What do you mean?”
“Darling, we’re going to be dealing with bigger issues than Dunn’s petty arguments for however long we keep this a secret. So far Bam really hasn’t attempted to make good on his thinly veiled threat about any untoward actions regarding you. We would have seen him punch Novak or tell me off by now if he was extremely serious about it. But we will need to start being extremely cautious. And from what I can tell, you aren’t in the habit of lying to those you care about. Unfortunately, that is exactly what we are about to do every day for the foreseeable future.”
Her expression dropped drastically as she followed my logic. We both knew I was right about how hard lying would be for her, even if she wanted to preserve our relationship with everything she had.
Sighing she she gazed around the small room we occupied. “You know me better then almost anyone else. Even if it hurts to do it I will keep this a secret until I can’t hold it in anymore. This deserves a chance more then Bam needs to know my every move.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll be there to help. And I’m sure we won’t have to lie for very long.” I ran my fingers along her cheek to help sooth some of the frustration I had created.
“Famous last words.” Snorting lightly she smiled at me before I gently let her go and rested my back against the door.
“Everything will turn out fine, no matter how we eventually end up telling them.”
“Olivia! Are you ready?” Missy’s voice echoed from the hall as I finished my sentence. Right on time.
Putting down the brush again Olivia double checked her appearance in the mirror. “I’ll be down in a minute!”
Standing on her tiptoes she kissed my cheek before looking into my eyes one more time. “We can continue talking later tonight. While I adore being around you I’m expected by your mother.”
She trailed her fingers softly from my face to my hand as she slowly exited the bathroom. At least I wasn’t the only one reluctant to part after a day and a half of peace.
Sighing, I waited until I heard the sound of the front door closing and went to the guest room to see how close Bam was to being ready. We were expected at the bar by noon.
“Dude, if you stir your spoon in that bowl one more time I swear I’m going to throw it over your head.” Novak’s voice broke me out of my meditative stupor. Blinking owlishly at the group of men sitting at the table with me I could tell all of them had been watching me. I pushed the bowl to the annoyance at my side, grumbling as I did so.
“Where have you been for the last twenty minutes? Because it sure as hell wasn’t here.” Bam’s observation inspired a few raised eyebrows and Novak to bring his head from my abandoned lunch for a moment.
Glancing at the clock behind the bar I was surprised to see that I had indeed been zoned out since out food was brought to us. “Uh... I’ve been working on some new material lately, sorry about that.”
“Uh-huh,” he let his voice trail off in what could only be taken as poorly veiled disbelief. I didn’t blame him. We had only been gone from the tower of total of forty minutes and I couldn’t concentrate on anything to save my life.
“And this is why I prefer his company post-recording to pre-recording.” A familiar voice came to my rescue before anyone else could comment on my slightly off behavior.
The attention immediately went to the five men behind me. Near the center was my savior for the moment, Jyrki. “Took you guys long enough to get here.”
Lifting his shoulder in nonchalant acceptance Jussi took the only seat available at the table while the rest of the men leant against the wall or bar directly next to us. “We got held up in traffic coming over here. Sorry that it will push your rehearsal a little late.”
“Not a problem, we weren’t really doing anything else this afternoon,” Linde replied before taking a gulp of his beer.
Bam nodded in agreement. “Yeah, we only need to pick up the ladies before the show tonight.”
“Cool, then we’ll go and get set up with the sound crew while you guys finish your lunch.”
I smiled at the Eyes as they removed themselves from the places they had settled around us. “Sounds like a plan, see you guys down there in a few minutes.”
After they had relocated to the stage area across the room from where we had settled to eat the guys quickly finished their food. Taking time to finish the beers in front of them. We won’t be rehearsing for a bit and none of them where in much of a hurry to run out of beer. For my part I just ordered another coke to keep myself occupied. No one was saying much since they Eyes were currently checking sound levels before warming up their instruments with the classic “Lost Boys”.
“Hey man, we need to talk.” I removed my eyes from The 69 Eyes rehearsal and focused on the man who had been causing all of my headaches recently.
Setting down my drink I nodded toward the back hall. The barest sign of consent I was going to give him. Understanding the gesture he moved ahead of me toward the private area.
“If this is going to be another fight I would prefer to end it before it even begins. You’ve caused enough trouble for the time being.” My patience for the bullshit of the last few weeks was worn far thinner than I would usually give a situation.
He grudgingly accepted the bitterness of my statement. Very mature of him for the first time in a while. “Fair enough, I deserved that; but, I’m not asking you to talk to stir up more trouble.”
I raised my eyebrow in question, my tone full of disbelief. “You aren’t?”
“I’ve been reevaluating and I’ve come to see a few things.” I waited for him to continue as he leaned against the wall, worrying his hair. “We’re going to be stuck together until the end of November and a good portion of it will be caught on camera. There is no reason to put Olivia through that. And, I can admit when I’ve been an ass.”
“So, you’re offering a truce?”
“A truce and an apology. You are my friend and Olivia deserves more trust than I have been giving her.” It was so obvious that he cared for her with that confession. Even to the point of ignoring Bam’s trust, though he hadn’t quite been able to step over that line in the sand himself. Hopefully it was for more then Bam’s friendship if his protective words towards Olivia had been any indication in the last couple weeks.
Now it was time for me to feel like the gutter scum. Dunn was finally admitting his mistakes and we had proven him right two nights ago; immediately upon the end of the argument no less. Uncrossing my arms I moved forward to place a hand on his arm.
“Thank you, that will be a load off her shoulders. She already had enough to worry about. Well, that she had been worrying about before you took up the quota for stress in her mind.”
“I didn’t realize it was stressing her out that much.” He had the humility to look ashamed.
Looking away from the bearded man I stared at the floor beneath our beat up Converse. “She was loosing sleep over it, constantly wondering if she was doing something wrong that she couldn’t fix. She’s too young for you to be expecting perfection from her.”
“I know that m-” he spoke in his defense before I cut him off.
“No, you don’t; because you put her through hell for weeks. She had her ex-boyfriend attempt to sexually assault her, twice. Which you witnessed both times. She hasn’t seen her family and close friends for weeks. Regardless how much she enjoys being around us, from what I can understand, this is her first time traveling this far away from her immediate family. She fell through a floor in a building under construction. Despite being around fifteen years younger then the rest of us, she has managed to act beyond her years in most of the situations we have placed her in. And now, she is about to become a television personality. She may not realize it yet, but she has agreed to give up her essential right to privacy in the very near future.
“There was no need for you to harass her with petty accusations. An ‘I’m sorry’ doesn’t change that and, before I even begin to think about accepting your apology, I need to know that you understand that. Don’t put an innocent eighteen year old through that again. If you do I’ll have no other conclusion then your jealous, because that would be the only logical reason for hysteria at that point.”
I stared intently into his face as he digested everything I had just forced him to swallow. It didn’t take a genius to see he hadn’t thought about all of that. Stepping back I put a few feet between us. “You don’t have to apologize right this second, I don’t need your apology as mush as Olivia does. Now that you understand what you’ve put her through, apologize to her and I’ll take that as one to both of us.”
Giving him a nod I moved back down the hall to the main stage area. Mige gave me a pointed look but I waved him off. I had so much more to say to Dunn, but I had said all I felt comfortable divulging at the current moment. The half truths weighed at my conscious, but I had only wanted him to understand the pain he had put her through. Not how the situation had changed since the catalyst during the party.
Weaving through the techs to where Mige had planted himself I settled next to him.
“I’m going out on a limb here, you were just discussing Olivia?” Mige’s question sounded more like a statement of fact than curiosity.
I made sure my glare delivered my annoyance at his stating the obvious. “Of course we were. What else do I talk to Dunn about anymore?”
“Point made, I hope the wild movements of your hand didn’t bode ill for future conversations.”
Dropping my head against the wall I looked back over to where Dunn was still standing by himself in the hallway. “I was just explaining somethings he needed to take into perspective before he tried to act like he hadn’t turned the world on its head. His attempt at an apology to me was poorly advised. I’m not the one who was hurt by his idiocy.”
“That’s harsh man.”
I gave him a shrug of my shoulders, not caring how harsh I had sounded. “Its true. Olivia is the one loosing sleep over his moronic grandstanding, not me.”
“He may have gone about it the wrong way, but I can see where he got the idea.” My head quickly whipped around to stare at him in shock. “No offense meant. I’m just saying you two look like more then friends to people who don’t know you. Or to people who weren’t willing to see past a pretty girl hanging out with a debonaire European man. ”
His words helped to break the tension. Laughing I gave him a small smile. “You can’t help who you connect with.”
“Whatever you say, man.” I didn’t miss the knowing look he gave me as we both turned to watch the rest of the 69 Eyes rehearsal.
The rest of the afternoon was spent mainly focusing on the music, thankfully. My sanity was sole preserved by this fact. Dunn kept anything else he had to say to me at a minimum and Mige didn’t drop anymore hints into the fact that he may have an understanding about my feelings for Olivia. I could live with each of us pretending it wasn’t so easy for him to read me. The only hiccup was when the conversation shifted to Missy and her younger cousin who would be coming to the festivities later that night.
Needless to say the Eyes all took an interest in the young woman who they hadn’t met yet. It almost made me wish that someone who lie and say she was a hunchback with a bum leg. If only to make the gleam in Jussi and Jyrki’s eyes go away. I knew it was irrational, but I couldn’t take how much attention was going to be given to my girlfriend.
When it came time to get back over to my tower I was extremely happy that Bam had driven us over here. I was ready to get a few minutes of relaxation before I brought Olivia into the wolves den that would be the green room at the Tavastia later this evening. But, my dreams of relaxation were brought to a halt when I made my way into Olivia’s room upon our arrival at my house.
“What is the hell are you wearing?” Olivia’s head shot up from where she had been sitting on her bed.
I hadn’t meant to yell, but after dealing with The 69 Eyes inquiries and Dunn’s obvious feelings I couldn’t help but want to lock her in her room where no one could see her. Maybe even myself.
She looked incredulously at me, her hand still slipping on the heels. “Oh, come on! I’ve been playing homemaker with your mother all day, looking sweet as cream. Now, I’m headed to my boyfriend’s rock concert, where I plan to look appropriately mysterious.”
“There is nothing mysterious about that outfit,” I said making sure to give her the once over for emphasis.
A faint pink spread across her face at my perusal. Puffing out her cheeks she glared at me a little. “Okay, well I want to look hot for my boyfriend. Even if no one else knows why.”
I drug my hand down my face in exasperation, not sure if her words made me happy or scared the shit out of me. “So that everyone can assume you came to seduce the whole bar?”
Slowly she squinted her eyes at me and a grin started to spread across her face. “Wait... are you jealous?”
“Of course I am. There will be a few very single ladies men in our group tonight, not to mention Novak, and I am almost positive at this point that Dunn is barely keeping himself under control. Without a title like boyfriend or people knowing we’re in a relationship I can’t do anything to deter them. Well, without seeming like a jealous, overbearing boyfriend.” Her smile continued to spread through my speech. Lifting herself from the bed she sauntered over to me.
Making sure to gently close the door at my side she leant into me. “How about this? I promise not to encourage anyone and you continue to be all overbearing and manly in your head?”
I set my hand at her waist as she stroked at the lapel of my blazer. Kissing her gently on the forehead I caught the hand that was teasing my neck. “Not funny.”
She finally let out a laugh I’m sure she was holding since she had walked over to me. “I thought it was. Seriously, Ville, I think its sweet. But we both know I’m not changing my outfit. I’ll try to keep anything that puts you in an awkward position from happening. Just enjoy me in pleather and heels.”
Shifting her back a little I gave her a pleading look. “I’ll enjoy it when we’re home and I’m the only one looking. Can you at least wear something on top? I’ll let you borrow one of those blazers in my closet I know you’ve been eyeing.”
“Fine you win, but I’m only wearing it to meet the infamous lady killers you’re so worried about. I reserve the right to not wear it outside of the greenroom.” She rolled her eyes at me but gave a look of concession that smoothed out my nerves.
I swung the door open for her and she made her way under my arm to enter my room. “There’s no need to be moody about it. If it makes you feel any better I love the outfit. But I don’t enjoy sharing the view.”
My words earned me a brilliant smile before we made it into the room. “You really do know the way to make a girl feel special Mr. Valo.”
She came up and planted a kiss on my nose. A sign her ire was lessening at my caveman act, I hoped. Turning away she went to my walk-in closet and reemerged a minute later with one of my more plain black blazers over her arm. Handing it over to me she made sure to deliver the message that it was mine to carry. A frown found its way to my lips, but I took the garment anyway and followed her tiny form out into the hallway.
From upstairs I could hear the shuffling on Bam and Missy also preparing to leave. It wouldn’t be long before they came down to join us in the kitchen hopefully. At this point I just wanted to night over fast, with Olivia completely wrapped in a sheet upon our arrival back here.
In the kitchen she hopped onto the counter while I pulled a soda from the fridge for myself. “Can you grab me one too?”
Gripping the extra can in my hand I made my way over to her place on the granite top. “For you, sweetheart.”
She gave me a grin while swinging her legs back and forth. Just as she popped the tab on the can the familiar trumping on Bam’s boots echoed down the last flight of stairs. It felt like time stood still as Missy emerged from the hallway and Bam stopped in the doorway behind her. Gaze caught on his cousin-in-law.
“What in the hell is she wearing?” Bam stared at Olivia like she was an alien from where she was sitting atop my kitchen counter.
Smirking to myself behind my coke I watched in amusement. “I asked the same thing.”
“I’m wearing something appropriate for a rock concert.” Her cheeks puffing out again in frustration.
Bam set his hand on the counter and leant forward with a hard stare. “Sure you are. What happened to wearing tiny little dresses everywhere?”
“Wanted to wear pants, besides I wore a dress all day.” They faced off in a silent stare as Missy and I watched the exchange.
I had already tried to talk sense into her about the outfit. But, Bam didn’t know I had the distinct advantage of being her primary target. Missy, on the other hand, must have thought the whole thing was ridiculous. If the look she was giving her husband meant anything. She knew that Olivia was at the age where nothing we said would deter her decision on the subject. And, had probably been on the shopping expedition where the outfit was acquired.
Finally deciding that I had seen enough I cleared my throat. “While I can see hours of entertainment to be had from this confrontation, I believe we have someplace to be and Olivia isn’t going to change her outfit. I’ve already tried to convince her before we came downstairs.”
“I like the sound of that, Toni said she had necklace she was dying to show me when we all met up tonight.” Missy said as she clutched her purse in her hands and grabbed Bam at his elbow pulling him along behind her.
He shot Olivia one last look of disapproval before following his wife out my door. “Way to get him riled up, Darling.”
She jumped down and took another drink of her soda. “It happens, I think its time everybody started to realize I’m not a child to boss around.”
“Well, very progressive way to go about it.” I made sure she could hear the sarcasm in my voice. All she gave me was a pointed look as I shut the locked door behind our backs. We both shuffled to the car where we could see Bam still watching Olivia with unconcealed distaste. Making a show of not meeting his eyes she climbed in behind him and buckled her seat belt. The last sound heard in the car besides the music streaming over the speakers was the sound of my seatbelt clicking into place too.
The ride back over to the club was uneventful, if you chose to ignore the tension between the driver and the young woman at my side. Which Missy and I did. It was one of the few times I could feel her age, and I felt it better to ignore the reminder of the age gap right along with the awkward stillness in the car.
I was happy when Bam parked at the back entrance and Olivia took the blazer from me without being asked. She shouldered it on without a word before exiting and following her cousin inside. I came up beside Bam as he climbed out of the driver’s side door.
“At least she put on the blazer,” Bam grumbled to me.
“Yeah, I told her it would give a few of us piece of mind when she met the Eyes.”
Bam’s face took on a mixed expression. Obviously still annoyed, but placated none the less. “Well she didn’t have to be a little shit about it back at your place.”
“You know how she gets when people try telling her what to do. It reminds her she’s still young.” I remembered all too well my own mistake in that right back at The Note the first week I met her.
“Fair enough, thanks for getting her to take the blazer,” he conceded, known Olivia even better then I did.
“Welcome,” I replied as we walked into the HIM greenroom right on the girls’ tails. Everyone had beat us there and were already caught up in their own conversations. Upon seeing our party enter the room though everyone turned to give us a warm greeting.
The moment Dunn’s eyes landed on Olivia he froze. And I saw what had caught his attention, she may have wore the blazer, but it was still open, giving a show of the cropped bustier and tattoo underneath. “What the hell does she have on?”
“That would be the question of the night,” I mumbled at his obvious fixation on my girlfriend. It was going to be a long night not being able to tell the potential nuisances off. What I wouldn’t have given to have a beer right then.
“How could you guys let her out of the house like that when we were meeting the Eyes.”
Glaring at him I tapped my fingers against the greenroom counter. “What makes you think anyone truly has any power over her action outside of a request? I believe assuming you could tell her what to do was the problem we’ve both encountered before where Olivia is concerned.”
He shut his mouth on whatever reply he was about to make. Thankfully, Olivia hadn’t heard anything he said and had moved right past the men to interact with their significant others in the back. This would give me a little time to even out my blood pressure before the worst of it was yet to come.
And come it did, eventually the brief stint in our personal greenroom came to an end as the time for the concert and meeting The 69 Eyes in their own greenroom presented itself. I’m sure my feet were the only ones dragging as we all left the room to move to the one down at the end of the hall. Oddly, or by her own design Olivia and I were at the back of the procession. She seemed to realize I was reluctant to catch up with the rest of the group and turned to retrieve me while the rest disappeared behind the door.
I found myself watching helplessly again as Olivia practically floated down the hall. Her radiant smile turned to me as she grabbed my free hand. Stroking my knuckles with her thumb she pulled me closer.
“Don’t tell me you’re rethinking introducing me now.” She had let go of my hand and was now skimming her fingers over my blazer lapels, strategically grazing my neck in process. She had never been much of a temptress before today but at that moment I didn’t care if it was sheer coincidence that she was erasing all my thoughts and fears.
I set one hand over her tiny one and my other gently on her waist while setting my forehead against hers. Taking in a grounding breathe of air to calm myself. “Maybe I am, but only because Jussi and Jyrki are ladies men. No falling in love with them if I introduce you.”
She stretched up on her toes and lightly pecked my lips; sweet and chaste. “Don’t be silly. Though, if they say delicious things in a deep Finnish accent I can’t be blamed.”
“That is not funny,” I all but moaned as she pulled me along behind her. Not deterred she laughed and gazed over her shoulder at me. It wasn’t hard to tell she was completely taken in this moment. Happy to be alone for a moment of teasing that would allude us later.
The room already felt like it was closing in on me as she practically pulled the arm from my socket to get me into the space. “Oh, here they are. You guys this is Olivia, Missy’s cousin.”
I was helpless to watch as Vedrana grabbed Olivia from next to me and moved her over to meet the two men who had been my friends for too long not to know what was going through their minds at the sight of the young woman in front of them. Especially since to my knowledge they didn’t know how young she truly was.
“Pleasure to meet you. Jussi at your service.” Making a big sweeping bow Jussi clasped her hand and brought it to his lips. And as one would predict she let out a titter of laughter that just egged on the behavior more.
Jyrki smiled down at her and held out his hand for her which she gripped upon Jussi relinquishing it. Cradling her fingers he also kissed it. “Jyrki, you are an extremely gorgeous women to be stuck with all these clowns for months on end.”
My brain couldn’t decided if her continued shyness was a blessing or a curse. Not really answering their flirting, but making her sweet and more attractive by the second. She finished making introduction with the rest of the band and thankfully none of the rest made a move. Due to the being married, but two was enough to fray at my nerves.
God, they staring at her like ice cream with whipped cream and a cherry on top. And there was nothing I could do but give them a warning look. Fuck this shit. If there were ever a time to rethink coming out tonight, it was now.
A/N: Oh man, I looked at a few random chapters before this and realize how bad I need an editor. Too much time rereading the same paragraphs in a sleep deprived writing storm means there are grammar and spelling errors everywhere. So, I will be reworking anything I see as I reread the story to this point.
The whole chapter was from Ville’s view. Weird, right? I thought it might be a relief for everyone to get out of Olivia’s head for a day. Plus, writing from Ville’s POV reminds me that while Olivia can be a brat at times I still love writing her character. And for the purposes of this story and my sanity, we are going with both Jussi and Jyrki are not in serious relationships with anyone. I’ve gotten to the point where I can only keep so close to reality.
Olivia’s Visit To Anita - Outfit
Olivia Meeting The 69 Eyes - Outfit
Chapter List | Chapter 31 | Chapter 33