So Dehumanized ~ Chapter 03
Chapter 3 - The Fallout
Thursday: January 7, 2010 - Matt’s House
Brian
It had been two days since the funeral and I had spent most if it sitting around my house with my dog. She was the only one not feeling sorry for me at the moment. That didn’t mean that people didn’t stop in to check on me. My family, Matt and Val, Michelle, Johnny and Zacky, and more people than I felt like entertaining had stopped by chosen to hover for a whole before realizing I didn’t want the company.
Now I sat in Matt’s living room, just like I had the other day. Beer in hand I stared blankly at the group in front of me. He had called this meeting for the band. We hadn’t been the “band” in over a week; it hadn’t even been spoken of. The four of us had been sitting around twenty minutes not saying much of anything. This was getting us nowhere.
“Did we come here to talk or can I go home?” My tone came out more irate then I had intended.
Matt stared me down for a moment before finally speaking. “Today is about the band. I know that after everything this last week the feeling that its all over is hard to ignore. But, I know and you guys know that is the opposite of what Jimmy would have wanted.”
He waited for someone to say something, but we were all silent. Just watching to see where he was going with this. “I think we should finish this album. Jimmy put all of himself into it and I think the world should be able to hear his last work.”
“You’re right, dude.” Zacky clenched his beer in his fist. Johnny nodded his head in agreement.
“More than right, but can it really be the same without Jimmy finishing the album with us?” I rolled the beer between my hands.
Matt removed his sunglasses. "We already have a lot written. Jimmy was coming up with new material everyday. In fact he had just sent us a new recording from the studio a few days before Lea... Leana found him."
The bottle stopped on the way to Johnny's mouth. "He recorded a new demo? We haven't been into the studio since a week before he would have recorded that."
"Yeah. He called me in the middle of the night to tell me about it. Leana was excited too." His laugh brought the image of The Rev and Leana running around together giddy as any children. "I still have the copy for us to listen to later. We can't leave all that work to go to waste."
There was a chorus of agreement as we tapped our drinks together. This time as the silence took over the group it wasn't oppressive; just contemplative. It would be a battle the whole way to finish the album, but Jimmy did deserve to have his final work put out where people could hear it.
The conversation began to mellow out as we started discussing plans of action for recording process. Most important were finishing the song writing and finding a drummer to step in and do justice for Jimmy’s work.
"Val brought up something yesterday that struck me. Even with everything going on in our lives, what about the fans? She thought we should try to keep in touch with them. Maybe a regular video or picture blog and edit together a special DVD for them." This was one of the best ideas I had heard since we had agreed to keep recording the album.
"And that is why we've kept her around all these years." Zacky clapped his knee as he laughed to himself.
Smiling at the ability we still had to laugh amongst ourselves I set my beer on the coffee table. "I guess we'll need to start looking for someone."
"No need. Val and I were thinking we could ask Cassidy. She already knows us, has photos and video from before we were big, and she's amazing at what she does." He said this all matter of fact, just like Matt alway does. My smiled faded with every word.
Rubbing my face with my palm I tried to wrap my mind around having to see her everyday for who knows how long. "Really? Do you think that would be a good idea?"
"Of course, plus she might be taking all this worse than us. She lost Evan and now Jimmy. They were the two of the most important people in her world." Val voice cut off my response before I could open my mouth. She stood in the entry way to the kitchen, leaning against the wall. Her arms crossed over her chest.
"All of you are always quick to defend her," I grumbled before chugging down some more beer.
"Man, what is your issue with Cass?" Slamming his bottle down Zacky glared at me.
"She's selfish and childish. Don't any of you remember how she trailed after us for almost a month straight two years ago?"
Matt stared at me in disbelief. "Her brother had just died. We were there to help her get through it. Fuck man, Jimmy was her best friend. He invited her to come and spend time with us after the funeral. If I remember correctly you were the reason she finally decided to leave. Why do you need to find a problem with her so badly?”
"She's annoying. I shouldn't have to defend myself to my own friends.” Everyone only continued to give me the most disbelieving look. Matt’s however had turned to accusatory as he put together her departure from the tours a couple years ago.
"Too bad she's one of our friends too. We're calling her. Go pout somewhere else." Val turned and pulled her cell phone out of her pocket. I stayed silent as I clutched my bottle, causing my knuckles to go white. It didn’t look like I was going to be winning this argument.
I had decided to stay in Huntington Beach for a few days to catch up with family and friends. My mother sat across from me in our living room. My father had already been at work a few hours and my sister was at school for another hour still.
Neither of us were really interacting, but it was nice to keep in each other’s presence. I sat in our bay window watching the the neighborhood, completely ignoring the book sitting in my lap. There was just not enough space in my head to concentrate on it. Jimmy was gone and it had left me trying to catch a hold of some solid reassurance anywhere I could get it. Even if that meant staying in town a few more days. Chase had been subtle hints that he knew I was still in town, which was detracting from the peacefulness of being with my family again. But, I could stand it a few more days.
As I tried to focus back on my book I was distracted again by the phone ringing. Before I could get up my mother was already walking into the hall to answer it.
As a few moment she walked back in with the cordless held up towards me. “Cass, the phones for you.”
“Who is it?" I asked as I set the book down in my previously occupied seat.
“Val, dear. Sounds like the boys are there, too.” I gave her a look of surprise, but accepted the phone anyway. She gave me a sweet smile before leaving the room to give me privacy.
Sitting my self back down I put the phone to my ear. “Hey Val. What did you need?”
A/N: Sorry about the long wait. I've been extremely busy and this story needed some tweaking before I could continue to write. Hopefully I will be updating more as it gets closer to the summer. Please leave me a comment. So far there hasn't been a lot of feedback so I'm not even sure if people are enjoying the story. If I get 3 comments in the next two week I promise to update by April 8th.
Chapter List | Chapter 2 | Chapter 4