A bunch of shit.
WindowsLive messenger is messing up. The hosts are down or something...
I was about to say something to my friend as well. I thought about the future a bit. I'd really like to have my own place someday. I mean, right now, I'm just a college student. I live with my parents and some siblings. To me, my friend Magdelene seems to be doing really well for herself, in terms of future plans and such. She's an ace photographer, she loves the work, and she's already had paid commissions for photo shoots.
I guess what I'm trying to point out is that it's kind of scary. I mean she's only a few months older than me, yet she's done so much more and has so much to tell and to show. I messed up my first year in college. I don't know what I was thinking, taking maths/mechanics and not expecting to work my arse off. My high school life was pretty easy, in terms of school work. I mean I didn't work as hard as some of the guys there, but I got a lot of pass grades, and I never had to re-do a GCSE in college. So I guess I never really experienced real hard studying. I hurt my head when I think about this stuff. I mean, most of the really smart kids seemed to come from households where their parents make sure they work set periods of time for certain days, and all that. It's like, they never played a video game, and I know, sure, video games aren't the most valuable thing to a person, but does that mean I should feel bad when I play one? Am I being too unproductive?
I have a cousin, Dean, he's an only child, and he gets straight A's. He hasn't got a bad social life either. I think he has a girlfriend as well. I know that he studied when he was younger/in high school because he's that type of guy. He actually doesn't play video games! His college uniform looks like some sort of religious cultist's robe. I shit you not. My Mum also bugs me from time to time about how I should be more like him, but my brother says that he's only like that because he doesn't have a lot of friend's/stays in the house... something along those lines, and I'm not sure if it's entirely true.
Anyway. I started writing this post thinking about how much I get sickly worried about my future, because I really have no clue as to what kind of work I would be good at, which is but one among many questions I ask myself such as; how much certain job's pay would pay, what uni courses I should take, should I go to an art college, would that secure me a good job...? So many questions, such little knowledge.
I don't want to live a life that others lead where they make the compromise of studying/working like robots until they decide to retire, at which point they can begin to chill and have fun... I know not everyone's like that, it's just... I don't want to be made to do things I don't want to do. I don't know. Maybe I'm just lazy.
Jebus... Anyway! I had a nice little daydream where I would live in a nicely decorated apartment, maybe one in a tall building with one of those wide windows, where the wall's supposed to be, that you'd probably get so tempted to just run at to see if they bothered installing smash-proof glass, seeing as it's basically a replacement wall. The main room would be predominately bright, pale colours, and there'd be lots of light (mainly from the wall-window), but there'd be nice colourful carpets and furniture too for cosiness. I'd have a really cool room-mate that I can hug and talk to regularly, and they would do the same to me. It's so far-fetched, though... Right now, I'm feeling I either need a growth spurt, or a cool short girl that I can be with. Actually, both.
I was about to say something to my friend as well. I thought about the future a bit. I'd really like to have my own place someday. I mean, right now, I'm just a college student. I live with my parents and some siblings. To me, my friend Magdelene seems to be doing really well for herself, in terms of future plans and such. She's an ace photographer, she loves the work, and she's already had paid commissions for photo shoots.
I guess what I'm trying to point out is that it's kind of scary. I mean she's only a few months older than me, yet she's done so much more and has so much to tell and to show. I messed up my first year in college. I don't know what I was thinking, taking maths/mechanics and not expecting to work my arse off. My high school life was pretty easy, in terms of school work. I mean I didn't work as hard as some of the guys there, but I got a lot of pass grades, and I never had to re-do a GCSE in college. So I guess I never really experienced real hard studying. I hurt my head when I think about this stuff. I mean, most of the really smart kids seemed to come from households where their parents make sure they work set periods of time for certain days, and all that. It's like, they never played a video game, and I know, sure, video games aren't the most valuable thing to a person, but does that mean I should feel bad when I play one? Am I being too unproductive?
I have a cousin, Dean, he's an only child, and he gets straight A's. He hasn't got a bad social life either. I think he has a girlfriend as well. I know that he studied when he was younger/in high school because he's that type of guy. He actually doesn't play video games! His college uniform looks like some sort of religious cultist's robe. I shit you not. My Mum also bugs me from time to time about how I should be more like him, but my brother says that he's only like that because he doesn't have a lot of friend's/stays in the house... something along those lines, and I'm not sure if it's entirely true.
Anyway. I started writing this post thinking about how much I get sickly worried about my future, because I really have no clue as to what kind of work I would be good at, which is but one among many questions I ask myself such as; how much certain job's pay would pay, what uni courses I should take, should I go to an art college, would that secure me a good job...? So many questions, such little knowledge.
I don't want to live a life that others lead where they make the compromise of studying/working like robots until they decide to retire, at which point they can begin to chill and have fun... I know not everyone's like that, it's just... I don't want to be made to do things I don't want to do. I don't know. Maybe I'm just lazy.
Jebus... Anyway! I had a nice little daydream where I would live in a nicely decorated apartment, maybe one in a tall building with one of those wide windows, where the wall's supposed to be, that you'd probably get so tempted to just run at to see if they bothered installing smash-proof glass, seeing as it's basically a replacement wall. The main room would be predominately bright, pale colours, and there'd be lots of light (mainly from the wall-window), but there'd be nice colourful carpets and furniture too for cosiness. I'd have a really cool room-mate that I can hug and talk to regularly, and they would do the same to me. It's so far-fetched, though... Right now, I'm feeling I either need a growth spurt, or a cool short girl that I can be with. Actually, both.