Writer's Block: Fixing the past, And: The Only True Question
Fixing the past:
My most regrettable decision was when I chose to try and be something I'm not. This was the case throughout most if not all of my high school life. It started with these three friends, if you can call them that, that I made in the first year, until the second half of the year, when I was moved to another form group - luckily. It felt like being saved. They were such a plague on me. They made me act the most not-me. The typical school yard gangster-wannabes. They were strong figures in the school - the cheeses - so I thought that I had to stick with them to be safe, and that of course meant acting like somebody else, like something not real. There was my brother as well. Trying to plant in me the thoughts and mind set which would have me become more like him, and like so many other of the other misguided kids I saw down in that hole with me. So many of them, lying. In ways I feel so sad for them, because they all try to be the same fucking person. It's so painful, and it fucking sucks to think about it as much as I do. One of them is serving a prison sentence now for a drug-related murder, one is also in prison for drug dealing, and the other is a college drop-out who again is involved with some type of drug ring. I couldn't care less about them.
So anyway, thanks to all that, and my bad choice, I missed out on a lot back then. I often ask myself questions like: What if I chose to be my true self? What friends would I have made instead, and what experiences would I have had? I mean, I think I would have ended up fairly similar to what I am like now, it's just that, the path I took then had me miss out on a lot of my own personal character development, I think. I could have had such better influences for things, like my art. Real influences. Not experiences that I haven't truly been through or understand and don't deserve to express. I could have been so much better. For myself. And others.
So fuck them. Fuck my former self.
The most regrettable decision of my life was that I chose to be something I wasn't. Please, If you think you are, right now, where I was back then, even if you're not sure, just have a real hard, honest think about it, and please understand this: It's always better for you to be honest to yourself, and don't do shit just because you think you'll please the crowd and be accepted. And stop fucking watching MTV. Educate yourself, read, be kind... whatever. You'll make the best friends by being yourself, because they'll be the ones that understand you. The ones you can really talk to. They'll make you feel less alone.
The only one true question: Pirates or Ninjas?:
Ninjas. I'm sorry, but if two battleships were clamped together in a sea battle, where all the crew had to jump onto each other's ships, the Ninjas would undoubtedly wipe the fucking floor with the pirates. And I am sorry, because I love pirates just as much as Ninjas, It's just... well nobody beats Ninjas! And before you say it, consider Chuck Norris a Ninja.
My most regrettable decision was when I chose to try and be something I'm not. This was the case throughout most if not all of my high school life. It started with these three friends, if you can call them that, that I made in the first year, until the second half of the year, when I was moved to another form group - luckily. It felt like being saved. They were such a plague on me. They made me act the most not-me. The typical school yard gangster-wannabes. They were strong figures in the school - the cheeses - so I thought that I had to stick with them to be safe, and that of course meant acting like somebody else, like something not real. There was my brother as well. Trying to plant in me the thoughts and mind set which would have me become more like him, and like so many other of the other misguided kids I saw down in that hole with me. So many of them, lying. In ways I feel so sad for them, because they all try to be the same fucking person. It's so painful, and it fucking sucks to think about it as much as I do. One of them is serving a prison sentence now for a drug-related murder, one is also in prison for drug dealing, and the other is a college drop-out who again is involved with some type of drug ring. I couldn't care less about them.
So anyway, thanks to all that, and my bad choice, I missed out on a lot back then. I often ask myself questions like: What if I chose to be my true self? What friends would I have made instead, and what experiences would I have had? I mean, I think I would have ended up fairly similar to what I am like now, it's just that, the path I took then had me miss out on a lot of my own personal character development, I think. I could have had such better influences for things, like my art. Real influences. Not experiences that I haven't truly been through or understand and don't deserve to express. I could have been so much better. For myself. And others.
So fuck them. Fuck my former self.
The most regrettable decision of my life was that I chose to be something I wasn't. Please, If you think you are, right now, where I was back then, even if you're not sure, just have a real hard, honest think about it, and please understand this: It's always better for you to be honest to yourself, and don't do shit just because you think you'll please the crowd and be accepted. And stop fucking watching MTV. Educate yourself, read, be kind... whatever. You'll make the best friends by being yourself, because they'll be the ones that understand you. The ones you can really talk to. They'll make you feel less alone.
The only one true question: Pirates or Ninjas?:
Ninjas. I'm sorry, but if two battleships were clamped together in a sea battle, where all the crew had to jump onto each other's ships, the Ninjas would undoubtedly wipe the fucking floor with the pirates. And I am sorry, because I love pirates just as much as Ninjas, It's just... well nobody beats Ninjas! And before you say it, consider Chuck Norris a Ninja.