can versus won't but willing (or, just another day in a strained relationship alternative)
sometimes my dreams are so vivid and intense that I wake up much more exhausted than when I went to sleep. and in this particular dream, I was moving. and also, sleeping naked with my quasi/ex/girlfriend, back together- or, back to doing what we do, sort of. and so I moved, forgetting so many things inside. running back in, with her, in search of the things I couldn't remember- money, my cell phone, my favorite sweater, trinkets I fondly recall acquiring. fuck. I'm sitting here missing her. and, my stuff. I am sure it's not that I can't have one without the other, just that I seem to neglect one or all areas of my life as a result of this drama. and that I probably need some sort of stimulant to snap out of this (read: chemical reaction. read: caffeine, or something metaphorically synonymic). something.