BEAMING WITH EPIC WAIFU PRIDE BRB
My darling darling flist-chan, I do believe I have finally discovered the secret to domestic confidence:
My mother.
GEE, I BET THERE'S A SURPRISE~* 8)
Seriously. I may not know what the fuck I'm doing in the kitchen, but at least I have common fucking sense. Which is far more than I can say for this woman, and if she has survived doing it for all these years, well then FUCKING HELL SO CAN I.
Jesusgod. XD;;;;
So~! Today I made blueberry jam~! ♥ And, y'know what, it actually went kind of beautifully.
Except, of course, for my mother.
Case in point the first~!
JACEY :: "*glances over and notices crazy mother about to turn microwave on with the jar lids inside it* ..............aren't those metal? o___o"
CRAZY MOTHER :: "......................oh, yeah."
JACEY :: "..."
CRAZY MOTHER :: "OH WELL I DID IT LAST TIME AND NOTHING EXPLODED 8) *CONTINUES MASHING AT BUTTONS AND JUST TURNS ON ANYWAY~*~*"
JACEY :: "......."
...
Yeah.
And typically THINGS DID NOT STOP THERE. Thus leading us tooooooooo~
Case in point part the second~!
So. Yesterday, in the middle of Walmart, my mother suddenly threw a gigantic becunted fit at me, because she was convinced I would magically somehow kill myself if I used the tongs to take the jars out of the boiling water, and I :|'d at her when she announced that she was refusing to let me.
She then demanded I waste a bunch of money on special ~*jar tongs*~ instead (OBV OBV THE ONLY ONES I COULD USE :O), got even pissier when I just :|'d some more, and finally just gave up and BOUGHT THE GD THINGS HERSELF, ALL WHILE STILL FUMING, BECAUSE SHE WAS THAT CONVINCED I WAS GOING TO DIE.
And then cue today.
My mother went to get the shiny new tongs, and promptly stuck them into the water.
Upside-down.
She then proceeded, once she had finally figured out how in fuck to operate them in the fucking first place, to very nearly splash boiling water all over herself.
Incidentally, I never even came remotely close to dropping or spilling or splashing anything myself. At all.
And raised confidence was indeed raised. 8D;;;
BUT IT REALLY DID GO BEAUTIFULLY THOUGH HOLY CRAP. *A*;;
I am maybe not totally sucking at this whole tunawaifu thing. ;P
LMFAO and more or less the entire time, Holly was weaving around the kitchen and constantly just chirphowling for attenshunz. When my mother left the room for a minute, I took the opportunity to explain to her that we were making noms to bring to Daddy. ♥ (She seemed enthused!)
Also, in the middle of all this, my mother apparently remembered that a family friend had made me an apron years and years ago, and went to fetch the thing. It turned out to be a dark blue fabric with a little teeny teapot/teacup print; and while I felt like it might fit me a bit awkwardly (although it does more or less still fit, for the most part, EVEN THOUGH IT WAS MADE WHEN I WAS LITTLE LOL T_T;;;), I flounced around in it anyway just because I figured the mental image of me waifu-ing it up in an apron might amuse pekori~* ♥♥♥ Particularly when I was standing around in said apron and sucking blueberry sauce off of my own fingers I MEANNNN COUGH
ANNNYWAY.
All in all, I survived~! Nothing exploded and no one died no thanks to my mother lol and I did not have to make my time~! And I am preee~eeetty sure the jam turned out too om nom nom. ♥ The gel looked really nice, all the jars sealed and popped, and when I tasted the sauce it seemed pretty damn nom-worthy indeed. :3
THIS IS MORE OR LESS A MIRACLE FOR ME AND I AM PROUD OF MYSELF OKAY. ;A;
/wrigglewrigglewrigglewaifusquee~*~* ♥♥♥
My mother.
GEE, I BET THERE'S A SURPRISE~* 8)
Seriously. I may not know what the fuck I'm doing in the kitchen, but at least I have common fucking sense. Which is far more than I can say for this woman, and if she has survived doing it for all these years, well then FUCKING HELL SO CAN I.
Jesusgod. XD;;;;
So~! Today I made blueberry jam~! ♥ And, y'know what, it actually went kind of beautifully.
Except, of course, for my mother.
Case in point the first~!
JACEY :: "*glances over and notices crazy mother about to turn microwave on with the jar lids inside it* ..............aren't those metal? o___o"
CRAZY MOTHER :: "......................oh, yeah."
JACEY :: "..."
CRAZY MOTHER :: "OH WELL I DID IT LAST TIME AND NOTHING EXPLODED 8) *CONTINUES MASHING AT BUTTONS AND JUST TURNS ON ANYWAY~*~*"
JACEY :: "......."
...
Yeah.
And typically THINGS DID NOT STOP THERE. Thus leading us tooooooooo~
Case in point part the second~!
So. Yesterday, in the middle of Walmart, my mother suddenly threw a gigantic becunted fit at me, because she was convinced I would magically somehow kill myself if I used the tongs to take the jars out of the boiling water, and I :|'d at her when she announced that she was refusing to let me.
She then demanded I waste a bunch of money on special ~*jar tongs*~ instead (OBV OBV THE ONLY ONES I COULD USE :O), got even pissier when I just :|'d some more, and finally just gave up and BOUGHT THE GD THINGS HERSELF, ALL WHILE STILL FUMING, BECAUSE SHE WAS THAT CONVINCED I WAS GOING TO DIE.
And then cue today.
My mother went to get the shiny new tongs, and promptly stuck them into the water.
Upside-down.
She then proceeded, once she had finally figured out how in fuck to operate them in the fucking first place, to very nearly splash boiling water all over herself.
Incidentally, I never even came remotely close to dropping or spilling or splashing anything myself. At all.
And raised confidence was indeed raised. 8D;;;
BUT IT REALLY DID GO BEAUTIFULLY THOUGH HOLY CRAP. *A*;;
I am maybe not totally sucking at this whole tunawaifu thing. ;P
LMFAO and more or less the entire time, Holly was weaving around the kitchen and constantly just chirphowling for attenshunz. When my mother left the room for a minute, I took the opportunity to explain to her that we were making noms to bring to Daddy. ♥ (She seemed enthused!)
Also, in the middle of all this, my mother apparently remembered that a family friend had made me an apron years and years ago, and went to fetch the thing. It turned out to be a dark blue fabric with a little teeny teapot/teacup print; and while I felt like it might fit me a bit awkwardly (although it does more or less still fit, for the most part, EVEN THOUGH IT WAS MADE WHEN I WAS LITTLE LOL T_T;;;), I flounced around in it anyway just because I figured the mental image of me waifu-ing it up in an apron might amuse pekori~* ♥♥♥ Particularly when I was standing around in said apron and sucking blueberry sauce off of my own fingers I MEANNNN COUGH
ANNNYWAY.
All in all, I survived~! Nothing exploded and no one died no thanks to my mother lol and I did not have to make my time~! And I am preee~eeetty sure the jam turned out too om nom nom. ♥ The gel looked really nice, all the jars sealed and popped, and when I tasted the sauce it seemed pretty damn nom-worthy indeed. :3
THIS IS MORE OR LESS A MIRACLE FOR ME AND I AM PROUD OF MYSELF OKAY. ;A;
/wrigglewrigglewrigglewaifusquee~*~* ♥♥♥