Fic: Family Arc II - 34A
Title: Family Arc II - 34A
Author: vic_sim
Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the plot. I apologise for any incorrect portrayal of people or any inaccurate details mentioned in my story.
Pairing: None at the moment.
Category: Angst/Comfort
Rating: NC-16 (just to be safe)
Summary: Flashback in Kyuhyun's mind.
Arc I Arc II
*Crash*
“Hyung!”
“Don’t leave me!”
“Someone call the ambulance!”
“You killed him!”
“It’s all your fault!”
No, I didn’t! It was an accident!
“Look who’s here? Alone without his protector.”
Kyuhyun moved back, trying to escape as the group started laughing in front of him.
“Hey, where’s your protector? Has he abandoned you?”
Kyuhyun flinched slightly. It was not visible if no one was looking specifically for it. The guy, apparently the leader, looked thoughtful for a moment before speaking, as if he had just had an epiphany.
“Oh right. I forgot. He died.”
Now Kyuhyun’s flinch was visible to all as the leader stressed on his last word. Kyuhyun had been silently inching away from the group as the leader was talking. He took the chance when they were all laughing at the not-so-funny statement - at least to Kyuhyun it was not funny at all - and ran away, not caring that he seemed like a coward.
Kyuhyun had just managed to build his mask up over the weekend and though he would have loved to take a few days off school to simply not deal with all those people he seemed to attract at school, his mother would not allow him to. To hear the statement that Jong-hyung was really gone hit Kyuhyun hard on the chest. There was a small part in Kyuhyun’s heart that still refused to believe the fact that his only - one and only - friend was ripped away from his life so soon. Now he was all alone again.
Kyuhyun slowed down after turning a few corners. He looked behind him and noticed that no one was following him at all. Thank goodness they don’t like to chase people. Kyuhyun was about to take a breather before leaving the school that he had never wanted to enter when another dreaded voice came to his ears.
“Hey pretty boy! No bodyguard today?”
Kyuhyun turned slowly; and standing there right in front of him was the leader of the school bullies. I should have just skipped school today and not care about what Mother is going to do when she finds out.
“...He died because you did something stupid? Like what your mother always says?”
No, that’s not true! Kyuhyun wanted to scream out that his mother did not call him stupid, to deny everything that the leader had just said to him, including the fact that Jong-hyung had died. But the guilt revolving around Kyuhyun’s heart and mind simply stretched out its claws, clinging onto those sinful words.
Kyuhyun was grabbed as he tried to sneak away like the previous time. But it seemed as if Lady Luck had decided to abandon him as well. No one along the hallway stepped up to help. Instead, they voluntarily moved out of the way, watching as the group hauled Kyuhyun down the corridor.
Kyuhyun began to struggle more intensely as he realised that they were heading for the toilets. But it was no use with two much bigger sized and stronger people holding on to him, especially when his strength was wiped out from the sleepless nights since his hyung’s death. Kyuhyun felt his back hit against the toilet wall. He bit back a gasp as he was held tightly against the wall by the two guys.
“W...What do you want?” Kyuhyun asked, stuttering a little as warning bells started to ring in his head.
“Hey he speaks!”
The leader said, as if hearing Kyuhyun was the most fascinating thing he had ever heard in his whole life - though with a tinge of sarcasm in his tone. That extracted laughter from the rest. Kyuhyun tried to glare at them, but the fear still shone through his eyes.
“Well, what should we do with him?”
The leader placed a hand gently on Kyuhyun’s face. Almost mockingly, the hand slid slowly down Kyuhyun’s face to his neck and down to his chest. Kyuhyun’s struggles came at a faster pace and more desperate as the buttons on his uniform came undone one by one. It was almost as if the leader was trying to show Kyuhyun how he had no control over the situation - something that Kyuhyun was feeling right at that moment. The leader gave a low subtle laugh that sent shivers down Kyuhyun’s spine. The leader leaned in, breathing slowly down Kyuhyun’s neck. Kyuhyun could distinctly feel the hot air tingling down his skin.
He willed his body to struggle even more, but his body was frozen in time. It was like he had given up. It was the same way with his eyes. Kyuhyun thought that it would be easier to pretend that everything was a dream - or a nightmare - if he could convince himself that he did not see it. But the feeling in his eyes was reminiscent of someone holding his eyelids up. He could see clearly as the leader pressed his whole body onto him and he could distinctly feel the hand sliding into his pants. Kyuhyun’s mind blanked out then. He had no recollection of what went on after that.
“Saa, who do you think is going to save you now, Cho Kyuhyun?”
It was like the clock started turning again. Kyuhyun visibly jerked back from the lecherous look in the leader’s eyes. A hand reached out to grab Kyuhyun’s jaw tightly, turning his head back to the front. Kyuhyun had not realised that he had subconsciously closed his eyes and turned his head away.
“Why don’t you scream for help? For your beloved hyung?”
The hand was removed from Kyuhyun’s face.
“Go ahead and scream. No one’s stopping you.”
Kyuhyun wanted to comply. He did not care if that would give them the satisfaction. But his voice would not cooperate. No sound was emitted.
“Ah, trying to be brave, huh? Well, you’ve had your opportunity.” His silence was mistaken as an act of bravery - which Kyuhyun was definitely not feeling at the moment.
The leader leaned in once again. This time, Kyuhyun reacted. He tried to push into the wall and disappear into it, but the wall refused to budge. His eyes fluttered shut as he felt hands on his belt buckle and heard a low breathing sound near his face.
Then everything stopped.
Laughter erupted around him. Kyuhyun was confused. His eyes opened timidly, only to be greeted by the sight of the leader laughing unstoppably in front of him. Even the two holding on to him were shaking with laughter.
“He actually believed that I was going to kiss him! And have sex with him!”
The leader continued to laugh hysterically.
“You must be the biggest joke of the century.”
Kyuhyun was slapped twice on the cheeks.
“Wake up idiot. Nobody’s going to waste their time on you.” Kyuhyun flinched a little from a statement that had been repeated to him almost all his life.
“Though I must admit that you do have an enticing character about you.”
The leader leaned in, whispering into Kyuhyun’s ears.
“Don’t let me catch you alone. Or you’ll never escape.”
He purposely licked Kyuhyun’s ear before laughing. Kyuhyun trembled as the laughter continued to echo in his ears.
“Let’s go guys. There are better things to occupy our time.”
Kyuhyun was dropped instantly and the three left without a further look at them.
With no one supporting him, Kyuhyun fell to the ground as his legs turned into jelly. He hit the ground hard, but Kyuhyun did not feel anything at all. His whole body was numb. How he wished that his feelings and heart were numb as well. I came so close to being ... Kyuhyun refused to think of the word. He was trembling badly from the experience. Kyuhyun curled into a ball on the floor of the abandoned toilet. No sound came from him as he slowly rocked himself. He felt so ashamed of himself, for not having the strength to resist, the courage to stand up to them, for letting them control him that easily. Although he was not aroused, he still felt dirty with the hands that went around his body. Kyuhyun hugged his legs tighter.
I’m not going to let them win. He refused to show that he had been beaten. He refused to let them win. He did not allow any tears to come to his eyes, even as his heart wished to be able to let go of all the emotions bottled up in him. He knew he was not strong, but he refused to give up this last strain of control he had. Kyuhyun’s heart yearned for his hyung to be there - to just simply be there. Hyung, I’m sorry. Please come back. Please, Hyung...
However strong Kyuhyun tried to be facing his hyung’s death and the whole situation, Kyuhyun was still a child. A treacherous tear fell from the corner of his eyes as Kyuhyun acknowledged that he was alone in the world.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Hyung, we’re back!” Kibum and Donghae burst through the door only to be met by Hankyung’s almost hysterical voice.
“In the kitchen!”
They all looked at each other before simultaneously dropping their bags and dashing to the kitchen, not even bothering to take off their shoes.
“What’s wrong” was the first question out of everyone’s mouth when they reached the kitchen. All they saw was Hankyung hovering in front of Kyuhyun, who was tucked away at a corner in the kitchen. Kyuhyun had not been reacting to Hankyung when suddenly he just jerked and ran to the corner. But Kyuhyun was still not reacting to Hankyung’s pleas.
“He’s not reacting. He’s not reacting.” Hankyung was now panicking, allowing all the panic to wash over him as he knew that they were back. It was evident to all that Hankyung was panicking.
“Hannie, come.” Sungmin spoke softly, taking a step forward and gently guided Hankyung away. Siwon enveloped his hyung in his arms.
“I really didn’t do anything.” Hankyung mumbled brokenly into Siwon’s chest.
It hurt to see the kind-hearted and strong Hankyung so frightened and scared, clinging onto his dongsaeng for a grip on reality. It hurt Siwon to see his hyung cry so helplessly in his arms, and he could do nothing but mumble nonsensical words into Hankyung’s ears.
Kibum and Eeteuk slowly approached Kyuhyun as the rest watched on with worried eyes. Kyuhyun was rocking himself gently at the corner. Eeteuk timidly reached out to touch Kyuhyun, hoping to provide the magnae with some comfort. But the action did nothing, except make Kyuhyun jerk back from it. This time, the jerk was obvious to everyone. The worry in Eeteuk’s eyes intensified. Then Eeteuk gasped.
He saw the lone drop of tear that fell from the corner of his dongsaeng’s eye - the lone rebellious tear that managed to cut through even the strongest heart. The tear spoke of the fear Kyuhyun harboured. It spoke of the grip Kyuhyun had over his emotions, but most importantly, it screamed of the loneliness that Kyuhyun had always tried to cover up.
“Kyuhyun...” Eeteuk whispered as his hand stretched out, ghostly tracing the path the tear took. How Eeteuk wished that he could have met Kyuhyun earlier.
Kyuhyun blinked, hearing a familiar voice call out to him. His head turned in slow motion, eyes filled with confusion. Is this a dream? It must be. But wonderment still appeared in his eyes when he realised that there was someone beside him - someone to comfort him. It did not matter that to Kyuhyun it was all still a dream. Kyuhyun stared at Eeteuk, then at Kibum. He did not seem to notice that it was not a dream and that there were more people around the three of them as well. His world now simply consisted of his two hyungs. Someone came. Kyuhyun reached a hand out towards Eeteuk, touching Eeteuk gently on the face. He then turned towards Kibum, arms wide opened, like a child asking for a hug. Kibum was taken aback, but immediately closed the gap between the two of them and hugged Kyuhyun. The flinch was still present despite the fact that it was Kyuhyun who had requested for the hug. Kyuhyun slowly closed his arms around Kibum, whispering.
“Are you real Hyung?” Kyuhyun thought it was a dream, but it also felt real to him at the same time.
Kibum released Kyuhyun from his hug, holding Kyuhyun by the shoulders such that they were looking at each other straight in the eyes.
“It’s real Kyu. We are all here.”
It was only then that Kyuhyun realised that every member of Super Junior was gathered within that small little kitchen in their dorm. They all came. Someone does care about me. Kyuhyun was overwhelmed with emotions. The tears simply flowed down his face, the suppressed emotions from the incident Kyuhyun had blocked off in his head for those few years since he was left alone by everyone.
Two arms snaked around him, enclosing him in a tight hug. Kyuhyun stiffened slightly before relaxing. For some reason, he knew in his heart that this was different. This was not going to harm him in any way. Kyuhyun allowed himself to bury his head into the chest - of whom he did not know, but Kyuhyun knew instinctively that no one here would hurt him.
“I was so scared, Hyung. I was so afraid, but I couldn’t shout out. I couldn’t do anything.”
Kyuhyun sobbed into his hyung’s chest, reliving the fear he felt those years ago which still managed to bring goose bumps onto his arms. The only reaction from his hyung was to hug him even tighter.
“I couldn’t move. I couldn’t do anything. Why am I so weak Hyung? Why?”
Kyuhyun cried even more as he hated himself for not being able to do anything at all that time.
“Shh... It’s alright. I’m here now. We’re here. It’s alright to be scared. That’s what your hyungs are for. We’re here to protect you.”
Eeteuk’s voice drifted to Kyuhyun’s ears as he realised that he was buried in the band Umma’s embrace.
“I don’t want your protection.”
Kyuhyun’s statement caused a shockwave across everyone. Did Kyuhyun not want to be with them anymore? Kyuhyun felt Eeteuk stiffened after his statement, but he had no idea why. Kyuhyun simply didn’t want their protection. A hyung’s protection only ended in tragedy the previous time. Kyuhyun didn’t want to be protected. He merely wanted someone to be there.
“I only want you to be here next to me.”
Kyuhyun’s whispered statement could only be heard by Eeteuk, who could not stop the bright smile from blooming in on his face. It caused the frowns on the other eleven faces to be more pronounced. What exactly is going on?
“Kyu, we will always be here, when you don’t need us, and especially when you need us. All you’ll need to do is look around.”
Kyuhyun’s only reaction was to bury his head further into Eeteuk’s chest. Eeteuk’s embrace made the whole trip down the memory lane all better. Though he was still traumatised by the memory that had just resurfaced, Kyuhyun now knew that there would be support for him from his hyungs, even if they had no idea of what had occurred.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Part B