Fic: Family Arc II - 24
Title: Family Arc II - 24
Author: vic_sim
Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the plot. I apologise for any incorrect portrayal of people or any inaccurate details mentioned in my story.
Pairing: None at the moment. Sungmin. Kyuhyun. Eeteuk.
Category: Angst + some humour
Rating: NC-16 (just to be safe)
Summary: Breakfast and the trip to the hospital that is filled with discoveries and misunderstandings.
Arc I Arc II
Kyuhyun woke up early the next day, happy yet anxious about the day before him. It had been a long time since he had been to the hospital to visit the children, and he was looking forward to seeing some of them again. He did wished that perhaps this time some of the children would have recovered well enough to go home but he also wanted to see them again. Despite this anticipation, it could not over-ride the anxiousness he felt with regards to the impending physiotherapy session. Kyuhyun knew that he had not been following the regime set by his physiotherapist and he had also done things - such as carrying heavy items and squatting - that were forbidden by his physiotherapist. He didn’t want to imagine his physiotherapist’s reaction when he learned about it. Kyuhyun took his time to dress himself and to pack his bag, making sure that he brought the presents he had prepared for the children. He didn’t want to rush around later to find his things. Satisfied, Kyuhyun stood slowly and walked out of the room.
“Good morning, Eeteuk-hyung.”
Kyuhyun met Eeteuk as they both headed towards the kitchen.
“Ah, Kyuhyunnie, why are you up so early? I thought your session is at 10 am.”
Eeteuk looked at Kyuhyun, puzzled since it was only slightly past eight in the morning.
“I woke up early.”
Kyuhyun continued his search for food inside the kitchen. Eeteuk was left standing at the door, staring at his dongsaeng’s back, thinking whether there was a double meaning to his statement.
“Hyung, why are you standing by the door?”
Sungmin rubbed his eyes as he tapped Eeteuk on the back. Sungmin was carrying his stuffed bunny in his hand, looking blearily at Eeteuk. Eeteuk shook his head and walked in to help Kyuhyun with breakfast.
“Min-ah, you shouldn’t bring your toy into the kitchen. It’ll be dirty.”
Sungmin looked at his bunny, then at Eeteuk.
“But Umma, I’m not in the kitchen. I’m just standing by the door.”
Kyuhyun chuckled. Only Min-hyung can come up with such a statement.
Eeteuk was left staring at the empty space where Sungmin previously stood as Sungmin went back to the room to wash up.
Kyuhyun’s chuckles brought Eeteuk back to reality. Eeteuk turned to Kyuhyun who was making oatmeal by the stove.
“Kyuhyunnie, let me help you.”
Without giving Kyuhyun a chance to react, Eeteuk took the spoon from Kyuhyun. Kyuhyun wanted to protest, but upon seeing his hyung’s determined look, Kyuhyun gave in. He settled for preparing the bowls that would be used later, placing the bowls next to the stove. Eeteuk smiled at that gesture before turning back to the oatmeal with a serious expression. Kyuhyun wondered for a moment if oatmeal was that hard to cook, before deciding to ignore it. He set the spoons on the table and poured two glasses of orange juice and a glass of milk. If Eeteuk knew that he did those things, perhaps Eeteuk would have concluded that stirring a pot of oatmeal would be easier for Kyuhyun.
As Kyuhyun sat down on the chair, he spotted Sungmin.
“Min-hyung, breakfast is almost ready. Do you want to eat?”
Sungmin nodded from his position at the door, having changed out of his sleeping clothes and left his bunny on the bed. Sungmin froze when he saw Eeteuk at the stove.
“What…?”
Sungmin didn’t finish his statement.
“Hyung?” Kyuhyun asked puzzled from his position at the table. Why is Sungmin-hyung staring at Eeteuk-sshi as if he’s an alien?
Sungmin hurriedly made his way to Kyuhyun, taking a seat next to him. He whispered to Kyuhyun as if setting up a conspiracy.
“Why is Umma cooking?”
“’Cos he volunteered…?” Kyuhyun answered with a question, not understanding Sungmin’s secrecy even as he whispered back.
The reason he gave seemed perfectly logical in Kyuhyun’s head even if he wanted to make breakfast by himself once. Kyuhyun wanted things to return to normal, not necessarily the way it had been before the accident. He knew in his heart that there was no way for things to stay the same, but being an independent person for nearly his whole life, Kyuhyun did not feel comfortable with people taking care of him, of his every needs twenty four seven. But Kyuhyun was still thankful for the attention showered on him. It made him feel loved for the few times in his life.
Sungmin stared at Eeteuk before turning back to Kyuhyun.
“But he can’t cook!” Sungmin murmured to Kyuhyun.
“Really?” Kyuhyun peeked at Eeteuk from the corner of his eyes. “But he seems perfectly at ease.”
“Looks are deceiving Kyu.”
Sungmin and Kyuhyun scouted closer to each other, observing Eeteuk. Eeteuk did not hear any of the whispering behind him as he happily stirred the oatmeal, waiting for it to be ready.
“The last time Teukie-Umma tried to cook, Hannie-hyung chased him out of the kitchen.”
Kyuhyun gave Sungmin an incredulous look, not really believing the statement.
“It’s true. Hannie forbid Eeteuk to touch anything on the stove.”
“But he’s only making oatmeal. And not from scratch. I was already halfway through cooking it when he took over. Nothing can go wrong right?”
Sungmin shook his head. “Hopefully.”
“Alright. Breakfast’s ready.”
Eeteuk turned to face them holding two bowls in his hand. The two shared a look before they looked at the bowls placed in front of them. It looked normal, like oatmeal. Kyuhyun picked up a spoon and scooped up some oatmeal. Sungmin watched on anxiously as Kyuhyun placed the spoon into his mouth. Kyuhyun swallowed the oatmeal.
“It tastes alright Hyung. Nothing is burnt.”
Sungmin, believing his dongsaeng’s words though a little doubt remained, ate a mouthful as well.
“It actually tastes like oatmeal!”
Eeteuk coughed from his position across Kyuhyun, having choked on his oatmeal.
“What do you mean it actually tastes like oatmeal?” Eeteuk pouted at Sungmin.
“Er…”
“Min-hyung means that it’s really delicious, right Hyung?”
Kyuhyun nudged Sungmin. Sungmin nodded immediately, agreeing with Kyuhyun.
“Really? But all I did was stirring the oatmeal.”
Eeteuk, although he denied the effort of making the oatmeal taste good, was pleased with the words. It was the first time he was praised for his cooking, though Eeteuk knew that he really didn’t do much.
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“Are you all done?”
Eeteuk asked, standing up. He received nods from the other two and he reached over to collect the two bowls.
“Hyung, I’ll wash it.”
Sungmin stood up, gently taking the bowls and spoons from Eeteuk. Having handed the bowls to Sungmin, Eeteuk turned to Kyuhyun only to find Kyuhyun standing already.
“Shall we get ready to leave?”
Kyuhyun nodded, heading to his room to pick up his bag. Eeteuk went to his room to prepare as well.
Kyuhyun sat down on the sofa, trying to wear his socks. It had been a while since he had to wear socks that he had forgotten how to wear them with his injuries. He was not allowed to bend his leg close to himself on the side with the hip injury, while he also could not bend down all the way to reach his foot. Kyuhyun sighed. He needed to re-master the technique of wearing his socks again. I can’t even wear my own socks. He was so frustrated that he almost threw his socks towards the wall when they were gently removed from his hands as his hands were tenderly lowered.
“It’s okay. We’ll take it one step at a time, Kyu. You have not worn your socks for the past few weeks. It’s natural that you are not used to wearing it with your injury.”
Eeteuk’s soft, soothing voice travelled to Kyuhyun’s ears, calming Kyuhyun down.
Kyuhyun knew that, he truly knew everything that Eeteuk had said. But knowing it in his head was different from knowing it in his heart. Kyuhyun kept his head lowered as Eeteuk helped him to put on his socks. Kyuhyun couldn’t help but feel embarrassed that he could not even do a simple thing such as wearing his own socks. At this rate, when will I return to stage?
Eeteuk looked up at Kyuhyun from his kneeling position after helping Kyuhyun put on his socks. He knew that for someone with a strong independent streak like Kyuhyun; it was hard for him to accept help for something as simple as wearing socks. And knowing Kyuhyun, Eeteuk was sure that Kyuhyun was berating himself right now.
“Kyu, look at me.” Eeteuk said in a serious tone.
“I know that you’re feeling dumb because you cannot even wear your socks by yourself, that you can’t do such a simple thing. But being able to do it was before the accident, right now, you’re recovering. You’re different from before the accident. That is something you have to accept. You have to accept that you will have to seek help for the mundane things that you used to do easily before, that you will have to adapt your life with your injury.”
During Eeteuk’s speech, Kyuhyun had slowly lifted his head. It was the first time someone had forced that statement on him. Kyuhyun had known in his heart that he was different, that they had all changed a little since the accident. It was not that he did not accept the fact that he was different. It was precisely because he knew he was different that made him afraid to show his vulnerabilities even more to his hyungs. Kyuhyun believed that being different was never good, that stepping out of the box that people had placed you in was never good. He was fearful of his hyungs’ reactions when they learned that he was actually not as strong as they thought he was; that his independence streak was just something to keep people away from him. With Eeteuk stating so determinedly that he knew that Kyuhyun was different, that Kyuhyun was to accept that, Kyuhyun felt the fear abandon his heart a little.
Eeteuk could tell that Kyuhyun understood what he said, even if there was a little bit of doubt in Kyuhyun’s eyes. What concerned Eeteuk more however was the fleeting tinge of fear he caught in Kyuhyun’s eyes. Eeteuk wanted to know where the fear came from, he wanted to erase any trace of it from his dongsaeng’s eyes.
“Hyung, it’s time to go.”
Sungmin said solemnly next to them. He had walked in on the conversation after washing the dishes. With the seldom seen serious look on Eeteuk’s face when he spoke to Kyuhyun, Sungmin understood the importance of the message Eeteuk was trying to send and kept his silence. Sungmin on the other hand had missed the fear in Kyuhyun’s eyes. That was why he spoke up, thinking that the conversation had ended. Eeteuk looked at his watch and nodded. He would have to pursue the topic with Kyuhyun another day.
Silently, the three made the way to the door with Sungmin picking up Kyuhyun’s bag. Kyuhyun looked at his bag and at Sungmin, knowing that there was no use protesting. He slipped on his shoes and the three left the house.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Upon reaching the hospital, they headed to the doctor first for Kyuhyun’s check-up. It didn’t take long as the doctor just wanted to check on the speed of recovery of Kyuhyun’s hip injury and whether he was having any breathing problems.
“Kyuhyun-sshi, no carrying of heavy items. You’re recovering relatively well, but you strained your back and hip a little for bending down and carrying heavy items. You shouldn’t be doing that. Get help from your family or friends if there is a need to carry heavy items. If you strain your back or hip even more, it will take a longer time for you to recover and it may affect your recovery rate.”
Kyuhyun nodded at the doctor. He had known and had taken the risk willingly when he picked up his mother from the floor that day. But his hyungs did not know that. Eeteuk and Sungmin were staring at Kyuhyun, wondering exactly what their dongsaeng did. Why would Kyuhyun endanger himself like that? They didn’t know the reason and thus they couldn’t understand his actions. They felt strangely disappointed at Kyuhyun for not taking care of his body.
As they stood to leave the office, the doctor asked Eeteuk to stay behind. Eeteuk indicated for them to head towards the physiotherapy room first and he would meet up with them later. Eeteuk turned back towards the doctor.
“Jungsu-sshi, I understand that Kyuhyun-sshi stays with you at the dorm right?”
Eeteuk nodded, not knowing where this conversation was going.
“I would like to ask you to pay close attention to him, but not so much as to overwhelm him. I know that he is a very eager student at his physiotherapy session, always surpassing all the targets his physiotherapist set for him. But I’m worried about his mental self. I’m not saying that he’s crazy”
- The doctor immediately clarified seeing Eeteuk’s raised eyebrows -
“It’s just that I think he hides a lot of things from others. There is a need to slowly get him to reveal bit by bit, so that he can heal. From his stay at the hospital, I suspect that his family is not very close to him, perhaps even to the point of neglect”
- At that Eeteuk openly stared at the doctor. How did he know that? -
“I have thought of assigning a psychiatrist for Kyuhyun-sshi, but I decided that perhaps you all would be a better choice for him. He needs people around him to constantly remind him that he had not been forgotten, that no matter what he does, he would not be abandoned. He needs a family around him. I know he doesn’t talk much, but it doesn’t mean that he is not affected by the things around him. Emotional support is the important thing right now. To simply be there for Kyuhyun-sshi. I hope that you all would be able to be that family for him.”
Eeteuk nodded, absorbing and slowly digesting the doctor’s words. The disappointment he felt at Kyuhyun melted away. Instead it was filled with another worry for Kyuhyun. To Eeteuk, the doctor sounded as if he knew Kyuhyun from somewhere.
“Sir, did you know Kyuhyun-sshi?”
The doctor took off his glasses to wipe, hiding his face from Eeteuk.
“I knew him when he was in Grade 1. I was the school doctor. At first, he was simply shy and afraid to approach others. As the school year progressed, he was constantly at the infirmary with minor injuries like bruises from the other students. He began to fade into the background and became even quieter. But he was still the compassionate child who would always help others even if no one appreciated it. I couldn’t do anything to help him as I had no power. I had no proof that he was neglected at home. Neglect is the hardest to catch as it left no physical mark on the child. I could not afford to get close to him as I was only assigned to the school for six months. I feared that it would be worse for him when I left if I was close to him. It was only when I left the school that I realised that the reason for the extreme quietness was his parents’ divorce.”
Eeteuk stared at the doctor. What? He couldn’t believe it.
“Why are you telling me now?”
Eeteuk wanted to know the motivation for telling him that.
“It’s because I never forgot about the little boy who tried so hard to be strong, waving goodbye to a doctor whom he only saw for short periods of time and refusing to cry over it. Seeing him again brought back those memories. I’m telling you this because I want to see that little kid who, though shy, was always there to play a song or sing a song when I’m sad or frustrated, to see the little kid who wasn’t afraid of asking questions or other people’s reactions. Because I know I can’t do it, but you all can. You all can bring out the child that should never have been suppressed for so long. The bond you share with Kyuhyun-sshi is unique. Nothing can replace that. And that is the most important thing that you have to convince Kyuhyun-sshi of.”
The doctor looked at Eeteuk straight in the eyes, showing Eeteuk that he had been truthful in every one of his statements. Eeteuk nodded slowly, still not comprehending everything he had just heard. But one thing he knew - they were going to somehow convince Kyuhyun that none of them would leave him. Eeteuk left the room, thanking the doctor. He sat down on one of the hard plastic chairs nearby, burying his head in his hands, trying to make sense of everything. The reason for Kyuhyun straining his back was already forgotten.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kyuhyun and Sungmin walked in silence towards the room. Kyuhyun was thinking about his mother for the first time in days. He was thinking if she had fully recovered from her illness and whether someone was taking care of her. Kyuhyun was trying hard not to think of what the doctor had said of his recovery rate. He was trying to lock that out of his mind. Somewhere in his mind, there was a thought of whether it was worth it to risk his dream for his mother, to risk being with all his hyungs for his mother. Kyuhyun shook his head. She’s your mother. Whatever you do will be worth it. Kyuhyun tried to convince himself, feeling guilty for thinking bad about his mother. But his mother had never reciprocated all his feelings and hard work. Instead all he got were cold shoulders and even the occasional slap. He doubted that his mother even knew what he had almost sacrificed for her.
Kyuhyun was willing to risk it all for his mother, but after so many years of pure neglect, Kyuhyun was tired of making any efforts anymore. He was tired of always being the one to initiate any contact between the two. He was tired of feeling the cold shower wash over him when nothing he did pleased his mother. Why can’t Mother look at me in the eyes for once? Why? All he ever wanted was for his mother to praise him once for something he did.
Sungmin was looking at Kyuhyun with a little disappointment written on his face. He couldn’t understand how Kyuhyun had strained his back. He knew how much Kyuhyun wanted to rejoin them again, having heard from Kibum. But if he wanted to join us as soon as possible, he would not have done anything that might strain his back.
“Kyuhyun.” Sungmin called out, snapping Kyuhyun out of his spiralling thoughts into darkness.
“Why did you carry heavy things?” There was a little bit of reproach that could be heard from Sungmin’s voice.
Kyuhyun shifted subtly away from Sungmin. He had learned from experience that bad things occurred with such tone especially when coupled with a disappointed look. But Kyuhyun didn’t feel like telling Sungmin the reason. He didn’t want to appear like a child in front of Sungmin. He felt stupid that the reason he strained his back and hips was because he carried his mother. The reason sounded lame even in his heart. Kyuhyun shook his head.
“Kyu.” Sungmin’s voice became serious.
Kyuhyun almost gave in but he held on. “Nothing, Hyung.”
“Cho Kyuhyun.”
Kyuhyun saw that they were reaching the physiotherapy room.
“Kyuhyun, I thought that you wanted to return to us as soon as possible. But why did you strain your back and hip? It almost seems as if you don’t want to join us again.”
As the words left Sungmin’s mouth, Sungmin immediately wanted to eat them up. Sungmin knew Kyuhyun did not feel that way. It came out of his mouth in his frustration at Kyuhyun’s refusal to answer. Seeing the shock look - even for just a millisecond - confirmed Sungmin’s guilt.
“Hyung, I would like to go in myself. You don’t have to accompany me. I’ll be fine.”
“Kyu, I’m…“
Sungmin tried to inject an apology but Kyuhyun continued to talk, pretending that Sungmin did not say anything.
“Could you help me pass the gifts to the children at the paediatric ward? Bring Eeteuk-hyung with you.”
Kyuhyun pointed to the bag on Sungmin’s shoulder.
“Huh, what?”
“I have some presents for the kids. Could you help me bring it there for them? I’ll head there after my session. I just want to get through it on my own.”
Kyuhyun repeated his statement, hoping that it was enough distraction from Sungmin’s questioning and to stop Sungmin from apologising.
“I’ll find Eeteuk-hyung and bring the presents there for you. Kyu…”
“Thanks, Hyung. I’m going in now.”
Kyuhyun mustered a small smile and turned to enter the room.
“I want to be back. I really want to.”
Sungmin heard the two sentences being whispered under Kyuhyun’s breathe, knowing that Kyuhyun had not wanted him to hear it. Sungmin stared at Kyuhyun’s back suddenly noticing just how small his dongsaeng looked. Kyuhyun used to look tall and slim. But now, Sungmin felt that Kyuhyun was truly smaller than him. It made Sungmin know truly that he might have irreparably destroyed their relationship with his words.
Kyuhyun composed himself before walking towards his physiotherapist. Kyuhyun had originally wanted to ask his hyungs to pass the presents to the kids as he did not want them there to see him at his weakest. The physiotherapy sessions were always draining and Kyuhyun came out of almost every lesson demoralised. He didn’t want to lose his last string of dignity to his hyungs. If not, he would no longer have anything to protect him anymore. But Kyuhyun felt the distinct sting in his heart when he heard Sungmin’s words. There was never any doubt before that Kyuhyun wanted to join them, wanted to be part of them. For Sungmin to doubt his presence, it made Kyuhyun feel as though he had went back to the time when he first debuted as the thirteenth member of Super Junior. Do I really belong there?
I kind of felt contented writing this chapter because I finally got all this plot off my chest, although the chapter was not supposed to last this long. Hope you enjoyed it.
I just have a question to all my readers: Do you want me to re-introduce a character the father which will add more chapters to the story or just keep to the characters now?
The story is most probably coming to an end soon with about another 7 or 8 more chapters [may go up to 10, cos i'm lousy at estimating].
But if I re-introduce the character -the father- it would probably add quite a number of chapters into the story.
I'm leaving it up to my readers to decide, because I'm rather fine with both. So please remember to choose when you comment!!^^
thank you!
Author: vic_sim
Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the plot. I apologise for any incorrect portrayal of people or any inaccurate details mentioned in my story.
Pairing: None at the moment. Sungmin. Kyuhyun. Eeteuk.
Category: Angst + some humour
Rating: NC-16 (just to be safe)
Summary: Breakfast and the trip to the hospital that is filled with discoveries and misunderstandings.
Arc I Arc II
Kyuhyun woke up early the next day, happy yet anxious about the day before him. It had been a long time since he had been to the hospital to visit the children, and he was looking forward to seeing some of them again. He did wished that perhaps this time some of the children would have recovered well enough to go home but he also wanted to see them again. Despite this anticipation, it could not over-ride the anxiousness he felt with regards to the impending physiotherapy session. Kyuhyun knew that he had not been following the regime set by his physiotherapist and he had also done things - such as carrying heavy items and squatting - that were forbidden by his physiotherapist. He didn’t want to imagine his physiotherapist’s reaction when he learned about it. Kyuhyun took his time to dress himself and to pack his bag, making sure that he brought the presents he had prepared for the children. He didn’t want to rush around later to find his things. Satisfied, Kyuhyun stood slowly and walked out of the room.
“Good morning, Eeteuk-hyung.”
Kyuhyun met Eeteuk as they both headed towards the kitchen.
“Ah, Kyuhyunnie, why are you up so early? I thought your session is at 10 am.”
Eeteuk looked at Kyuhyun, puzzled since it was only slightly past eight in the morning.
“I woke up early.”
Kyuhyun continued his search for food inside the kitchen. Eeteuk was left standing at the door, staring at his dongsaeng’s back, thinking whether there was a double meaning to his statement.
“Hyung, why are you standing by the door?”
Sungmin rubbed his eyes as he tapped Eeteuk on the back. Sungmin was carrying his stuffed bunny in his hand, looking blearily at Eeteuk. Eeteuk shook his head and walked in to help Kyuhyun with breakfast.
“Min-ah, you shouldn’t bring your toy into the kitchen. It’ll be dirty.”
Sungmin looked at his bunny, then at Eeteuk.
“But Umma, I’m not in the kitchen. I’m just standing by the door.”
Kyuhyun chuckled. Only Min-hyung can come up with such a statement.
Eeteuk was left staring at the empty space where Sungmin previously stood as Sungmin went back to the room to wash up.
Kyuhyun’s chuckles brought Eeteuk back to reality. Eeteuk turned to Kyuhyun who was making oatmeal by the stove.
“Kyuhyunnie, let me help you.”
Without giving Kyuhyun a chance to react, Eeteuk took the spoon from Kyuhyun. Kyuhyun wanted to protest, but upon seeing his hyung’s determined look, Kyuhyun gave in. He settled for preparing the bowls that would be used later, placing the bowls next to the stove. Eeteuk smiled at that gesture before turning back to the oatmeal with a serious expression. Kyuhyun wondered for a moment if oatmeal was that hard to cook, before deciding to ignore it. He set the spoons on the table and poured two glasses of orange juice and a glass of milk. If Eeteuk knew that he did those things, perhaps Eeteuk would have concluded that stirring a pot of oatmeal would be easier for Kyuhyun.
As Kyuhyun sat down on the chair, he spotted Sungmin.
“Min-hyung, breakfast is almost ready. Do you want to eat?”
Sungmin nodded from his position at the door, having changed out of his sleeping clothes and left his bunny on the bed. Sungmin froze when he saw Eeteuk at the stove.
“What…?”
Sungmin didn’t finish his statement.
“Hyung?” Kyuhyun asked puzzled from his position at the table. Why is Sungmin-hyung staring at Eeteuk-sshi as if he’s an alien?
Sungmin hurriedly made his way to Kyuhyun, taking a seat next to him. He whispered to Kyuhyun as if setting up a conspiracy.
“Why is Umma cooking?”
“’Cos he volunteered…?” Kyuhyun answered with a question, not understanding Sungmin’s secrecy even as he whispered back.
The reason he gave seemed perfectly logical in Kyuhyun’s head even if he wanted to make breakfast by himself once. Kyuhyun wanted things to return to normal, not necessarily the way it had been before the accident. He knew in his heart that there was no way for things to stay the same, but being an independent person for nearly his whole life, Kyuhyun did not feel comfortable with people taking care of him, of his every needs twenty four seven. But Kyuhyun was still thankful for the attention showered on him. It made him feel loved for the few times in his life.
Sungmin stared at Eeteuk before turning back to Kyuhyun.
“But he can’t cook!” Sungmin murmured to Kyuhyun.
“Really?” Kyuhyun peeked at Eeteuk from the corner of his eyes. “But he seems perfectly at ease.”
“Looks are deceiving Kyu.”
Sungmin and Kyuhyun scouted closer to each other, observing Eeteuk. Eeteuk did not hear any of the whispering behind him as he happily stirred the oatmeal, waiting for it to be ready.
“The last time Teukie-Umma tried to cook, Hannie-hyung chased him out of the kitchen.”
Kyuhyun gave Sungmin an incredulous look, not really believing the statement.
“It’s true. Hannie forbid Eeteuk to touch anything on the stove.”
“But he’s only making oatmeal. And not from scratch. I was already halfway through cooking it when he took over. Nothing can go wrong right?”
Sungmin shook his head. “Hopefully.”
“Alright. Breakfast’s ready.”
Eeteuk turned to face them holding two bowls in his hand. The two shared a look before they looked at the bowls placed in front of them. It looked normal, like oatmeal. Kyuhyun picked up a spoon and scooped up some oatmeal. Sungmin watched on anxiously as Kyuhyun placed the spoon into his mouth. Kyuhyun swallowed the oatmeal.
“It tastes alright Hyung. Nothing is burnt.”
Sungmin, believing his dongsaeng’s words though a little doubt remained, ate a mouthful as well.
“It actually tastes like oatmeal!”
Eeteuk coughed from his position across Kyuhyun, having choked on his oatmeal.
“What do you mean it actually tastes like oatmeal?” Eeteuk pouted at Sungmin.
“Er…”
“Min-hyung means that it’s really delicious, right Hyung?”
Kyuhyun nudged Sungmin. Sungmin nodded immediately, agreeing with Kyuhyun.
“Really? But all I did was stirring the oatmeal.”
Eeteuk, although he denied the effort of making the oatmeal taste good, was pleased with the words. It was the first time he was praised for his cooking, though Eeteuk knew that he really didn’t do much.
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“Are you all done?”
Eeteuk asked, standing up. He received nods from the other two and he reached over to collect the two bowls.
“Hyung, I’ll wash it.”
Sungmin stood up, gently taking the bowls and spoons from Eeteuk. Having handed the bowls to Sungmin, Eeteuk turned to Kyuhyun only to find Kyuhyun standing already.
“Shall we get ready to leave?”
Kyuhyun nodded, heading to his room to pick up his bag. Eeteuk went to his room to prepare as well.
Kyuhyun sat down on the sofa, trying to wear his socks. It had been a while since he had to wear socks that he had forgotten how to wear them with his injuries. He was not allowed to bend his leg close to himself on the side with the hip injury, while he also could not bend down all the way to reach his foot. Kyuhyun sighed. He needed to re-master the technique of wearing his socks again. I can’t even wear my own socks. He was so frustrated that he almost threw his socks towards the wall when they were gently removed from his hands as his hands were tenderly lowered.
“It’s okay. We’ll take it one step at a time, Kyu. You have not worn your socks for the past few weeks. It’s natural that you are not used to wearing it with your injury.”
Eeteuk’s soft, soothing voice travelled to Kyuhyun’s ears, calming Kyuhyun down.
Kyuhyun knew that, he truly knew everything that Eeteuk had said. But knowing it in his head was different from knowing it in his heart. Kyuhyun kept his head lowered as Eeteuk helped him to put on his socks. Kyuhyun couldn’t help but feel embarrassed that he could not even do a simple thing such as wearing his own socks. At this rate, when will I return to stage?
Eeteuk looked up at Kyuhyun from his kneeling position after helping Kyuhyun put on his socks. He knew that for someone with a strong independent streak like Kyuhyun; it was hard for him to accept help for something as simple as wearing socks. And knowing Kyuhyun, Eeteuk was sure that Kyuhyun was berating himself right now.
“Kyu, look at me.” Eeteuk said in a serious tone.
“I know that you’re feeling dumb because you cannot even wear your socks by yourself, that you can’t do such a simple thing. But being able to do it was before the accident, right now, you’re recovering. You’re different from before the accident. That is something you have to accept. You have to accept that you will have to seek help for the mundane things that you used to do easily before, that you will have to adapt your life with your injury.”
During Eeteuk’s speech, Kyuhyun had slowly lifted his head. It was the first time someone had forced that statement on him. Kyuhyun had known in his heart that he was different, that they had all changed a little since the accident. It was not that he did not accept the fact that he was different. It was precisely because he knew he was different that made him afraid to show his vulnerabilities even more to his hyungs. Kyuhyun believed that being different was never good, that stepping out of the box that people had placed you in was never good. He was fearful of his hyungs’ reactions when they learned that he was actually not as strong as they thought he was; that his independence streak was just something to keep people away from him. With Eeteuk stating so determinedly that he knew that Kyuhyun was different, that Kyuhyun was to accept that, Kyuhyun felt the fear abandon his heart a little.
Eeteuk could tell that Kyuhyun understood what he said, even if there was a little bit of doubt in Kyuhyun’s eyes. What concerned Eeteuk more however was the fleeting tinge of fear he caught in Kyuhyun’s eyes. Eeteuk wanted to know where the fear came from, he wanted to erase any trace of it from his dongsaeng’s eyes.
“Hyung, it’s time to go.”
Sungmin said solemnly next to them. He had walked in on the conversation after washing the dishes. With the seldom seen serious look on Eeteuk’s face when he spoke to Kyuhyun, Sungmin understood the importance of the message Eeteuk was trying to send and kept his silence. Sungmin on the other hand had missed the fear in Kyuhyun’s eyes. That was why he spoke up, thinking that the conversation had ended. Eeteuk looked at his watch and nodded. He would have to pursue the topic with Kyuhyun another day.
Silently, the three made the way to the door with Sungmin picking up Kyuhyun’s bag. Kyuhyun looked at his bag and at Sungmin, knowing that there was no use protesting. He slipped on his shoes and the three left the house.
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Upon reaching the hospital, they headed to the doctor first for Kyuhyun’s check-up. It didn’t take long as the doctor just wanted to check on the speed of recovery of Kyuhyun’s hip injury and whether he was having any breathing problems.
“Kyuhyun-sshi, no carrying of heavy items. You’re recovering relatively well, but you strained your back and hip a little for bending down and carrying heavy items. You shouldn’t be doing that. Get help from your family or friends if there is a need to carry heavy items. If you strain your back or hip even more, it will take a longer time for you to recover and it may affect your recovery rate.”
Kyuhyun nodded at the doctor. He had known and had taken the risk willingly when he picked up his mother from the floor that day. But his hyungs did not know that. Eeteuk and Sungmin were staring at Kyuhyun, wondering exactly what their dongsaeng did. Why would Kyuhyun endanger himself like that? They didn’t know the reason and thus they couldn’t understand his actions. They felt strangely disappointed at Kyuhyun for not taking care of his body.
As they stood to leave the office, the doctor asked Eeteuk to stay behind. Eeteuk indicated for them to head towards the physiotherapy room first and he would meet up with them later. Eeteuk turned back towards the doctor.
“Jungsu-sshi, I understand that Kyuhyun-sshi stays with you at the dorm right?”
Eeteuk nodded, not knowing where this conversation was going.
“I would like to ask you to pay close attention to him, but not so much as to overwhelm him. I know that he is a very eager student at his physiotherapy session, always surpassing all the targets his physiotherapist set for him. But I’m worried about his mental self. I’m not saying that he’s crazy”
- The doctor immediately clarified seeing Eeteuk’s raised eyebrows -
“It’s just that I think he hides a lot of things from others. There is a need to slowly get him to reveal bit by bit, so that he can heal. From his stay at the hospital, I suspect that his family is not very close to him, perhaps even to the point of neglect”
- At that Eeteuk openly stared at the doctor. How did he know that? -
“I have thought of assigning a psychiatrist for Kyuhyun-sshi, but I decided that perhaps you all would be a better choice for him. He needs people around him to constantly remind him that he had not been forgotten, that no matter what he does, he would not be abandoned. He needs a family around him. I know he doesn’t talk much, but it doesn’t mean that he is not affected by the things around him. Emotional support is the important thing right now. To simply be there for Kyuhyun-sshi. I hope that you all would be able to be that family for him.”
Eeteuk nodded, absorbing and slowly digesting the doctor’s words. The disappointment he felt at Kyuhyun melted away. Instead it was filled with another worry for Kyuhyun. To Eeteuk, the doctor sounded as if he knew Kyuhyun from somewhere.
“Sir, did you know Kyuhyun-sshi?”
The doctor took off his glasses to wipe, hiding his face from Eeteuk.
“I knew him when he was in Grade 1. I was the school doctor. At first, he was simply shy and afraid to approach others. As the school year progressed, he was constantly at the infirmary with minor injuries like bruises from the other students. He began to fade into the background and became even quieter. But he was still the compassionate child who would always help others even if no one appreciated it. I couldn’t do anything to help him as I had no power. I had no proof that he was neglected at home. Neglect is the hardest to catch as it left no physical mark on the child. I could not afford to get close to him as I was only assigned to the school for six months. I feared that it would be worse for him when I left if I was close to him. It was only when I left the school that I realised that the reason for the extreme quietness was his parents’ divorce.”
Eeteuk stared at the doctor. What? He couldn’t believe it.
“Why are you telling me now?”
Eeteuk wanted to know the motivation for telling him that.
“It’s because I never forgot about the little boy who tried so hard to be strong, waving goodbye to a doctor whom he only saw for short periods of time and refusing to cry over it. Seeing him again brought back those memories. I’m telling you this because I want to see that little kid who, though shy, was always there to play a song or sing a song when I’m sad or frustrated, to see the little kid who wasn’t afraid of asking questions or other people’s reactions. Because I know I can’t do it, but you all can. You all can bring out the child that should never have been suppressed for so long. The bond you share with Kyuhyun-sshi is unique. Nothing can replace that. And that is the most important thing that you have to convince Kyuhyun-sshi of.”
The doctor looked at Eeteuk straight in the eyes, showing Eeteuk that he had been truthful in every one of his statements. Eeteuk nodded slowly, still not comprehending everything he had just heard. But one thing he knew - they were going to somehow convince Kyuhyun that none of them would leave him. Eeteuk left the room, thanking the doctor. He sat down on one of the hard plastic chairs nearby, burying his head in his hands, trying to make sense of everything. The reason for Kyuhyun straining his back was already forgotten.
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Kyuhyun and Sungmin walked in silence towards the room. Kyuhyun was thinking about his mother for the first time in days. He was thinking if she had fully recovered from her illness and whether someone was taking care of her. Kyuhyun was trying hard not to think of what the doctor had said of his recovery rate. He was trying to lock that out of his mind. Somewhere in his mind, there was a thought of whether it was worth it to risk his dream for his mother, to risk being with all his hyungs for his mother. Kyuhyun shook his head. She’s your mother. Whatever you do will be worth it. Kyuhyun tried to convince himself, feeling guilty for thinking bad about his mother. But his mother had never reciprocated all his feelings and hard work. Instead all he got were cold shoulders and even the occasional slap. He doubted that his mother even knew what he had almost sacrificed for her.
Kyuhyun was willing to risk it all for his mother, but after so many years of pure neglect, Kyuhyun was tired of making any efforts anymore. He was tired of always being the one to initiate any contact between the two. He was tired of feeling the cold shower wash over him when nothing he did pleased his mother. Why can’t Mother look at me in the eyes for once? Why? All he ever wanted was for his mother to praise him once for something he did.
Sungmin was looking at Kyuhyun with a little disappointment written on his face. He couldn’t understand how Kyuhyun had strained his back. He knew how much Kyuhyun wanted to rejoin them again, having heard from Kibum. But if he wanted to join us as soon as possible, he would not have done anything that might strain his back.
“Kyuhyun.” Sungmin called out, snapping Kyuhyun out of his spiralling thoughts into darkness.
“Why did you carry heavy things?” There was a little bit of reproach that could be heard from Sungmin’s voice.
Kyuhyun shifted subtly away from Sungmin. He had learned from experience that bad things occurred with such tone especially when coupled with a disappointed look. But Kyuhyun didn’t feel like telling Sungmin the reason. He didn’t want to appear like a child in front of Sungmin. He felt stupid that the reason he strained his back and hips was because he carried his mother. The reason sounded lame even in his heart. Kyuhyun shook his head.
“Kyu.” Sungmin’s voice became serious.
Kyuhyun almost gave in but he held on. “Nothing, Hyung.”
“Cho Kyuhyun.”
Kyuhyun saw that they were reaching the physiotherapy room.
“Kyuhyun, I thought that you wanted to return to us as soon as possible. But why did you strain your back and hip? It almost seems as if you don’t want to join us again.”
As the words left Sungmin’s mouth, Sungmin immediately wanted to eat them up. Sungmin knew Kyuhyun did not feel that way. It came out of his mouth in his frustration at Kyuhyun’s refusal to answer. Seeing the shock look - even for just a millisecond - confirmed Sungmin’s guilt.
“Hyung, I would like to go in myself. You don’t have to accompany me. I’ll be fine.”
“Kyu, I’m…“
Sungmin tried to inject an apology but Kyuhyun continued to talk, pretending that Sungmin did not say anything.
“Could you help me pass the gifts to the children at the paediatric ward? Bring Eeteuk-hyung with you.”
Kyuhyun pointed to the bag on Sungmin’s shoulder.
“Huh, what?”
“I have some presents for the kids. Could you help me bring it there for them? I’ll head there after my session. I just want to get through it on my own.”
Kyuhyun repeated his statement, hoping that it was enough distraction from Sungmin’s questioning and to stop Sungmin from apologising.
“I’ll find Eeteuk-hyung and bring the presents there for you. Kyu…”
“Thanks, Hyung. I’m going in now.”
Kyuhyun mustered a small smile and turned to enter the room.
“I want to be back. I really want to.”
Sungmin heard the two sentences being whispered under Kyuhyun’s breathe, knowing that Kyuhyun had not wanted him to hear it. Sungmin stared at Kyuhyun’s back suddenly noticing just how small his dongsaeng looked. Kyuhyun used to look tall and slim. But now, Sungmin felt that Kyuhyun was truly smaller than him. It made Sungmin know truly that he might have irreparably destroyed their relationship with his words.
Kyuhyun composed himself before walking towards his physiotherapist. Kyuhyun had originally wanted to ask his hyungs to pass the presents to the kids as he did not want them there to see him at his weakest. The physiotherapy sessions were always draining and Kyuhyun came out of almost every lesson demoralised. He didn’t want to lose his last string of dignity to his hyungs. If not, he would no longer have anything to protect him anymore. But Kyuhyun felt the distinct sting in his heart when he heard Sungmin’s words. There was never any doubt before that Kyuhyun wanted to join them, wanted to be part of them. For Sungmin to doubt his presence, it made Kyuhyun feel as though he had went back to the time when he first debuted as the thirteenth member of Super Junior. Do I really belong there?
I kind of felt contented writing this chapter because I finally got all this plot off my chest, although the chapter was not supposed to last this long. Hope you enjoyed it.
I just have a question to all my readers: Do you want me to re-introduce a character the father which will add more chapters to the story or just keep to the characters now?
The story is most probably coming to an end soon with about another 7 or 8 more chapters [may go up to 10, cos i'm lousy at estimating].
But if I re-introduce the character -the father- it would probably add quite a number of chapters into the story.
I'm leaving it up to my readers to decide, because I'm rather fine with both. So please remember to choose when you comment!!^^
thank you!