OPEN YOUR EYES.
Well, that's it. Year one of college is over. Granted, I still have 3-4 more years coming due to the possibility of credit problems. I'm upset. I miss it. I'm ready to be back already. I have my Ashley & my classes, I'm ready to go.
It's been a hell of a year. Think back to September when I was freaking out and crying on the phone everyday. I walked campus in its entirety every morning avoiding my room, my building, everything. I sent emails out begging for comfort and a reason to why I was so unhappy. People were worried, I was worried. I barely went to classes. My grades took quite a dive down. My GPA is still suffering for the damage I did in the first semester.
And then it all changed. I cannot even pinpoint the day it all transitioned over to love. Suddenly, I had Ashley, Daron, my Hamilton girls, and everything just fit. I loved my hallway, I loved my classes, I loved work until 5, dinner at 6. Luisa will tell you that she thanks the Lord I met Ashley, because that's what changed everything. She's probably right. Ashley has been a savior all year for me. But I couldn't have done it without everyone else too. Even Horsebarn Hill was instrumental in my survival. It is amazing how close one can feel to God out there. Everything is perfect on that hill. The sky is wide, blue, and open. The grass is greener than any side I've ever been on. The sun brilliant and warm. You can sit down and hear nothing but a distant moo from a cow and the leaves blowing on a tree.
February 22nd came, and I lost it all. Suddenly, I was back home, stuck on a couch, unable to do anything but think of what I was missing. I am honestly much more grateful for what I have now than I was then. Losing it all opened my eyes. I craved to be back there, sitting in the hallway, absorbing everything around me. I wanted to be back at work, listening to Lucy tell stories about her life and Jen talk about bubbleguts. I wanted the option to walk to the Student Union, find a chair on the third floor, put on my ipod, and watch the people around me. I wanted UConn back. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to return like I had wished. I finished three classes from home, dealing with professors through email, and making occasional appointments for exams. This past Friday, I walked on campus for the first time since February. I was able to walk into and out of my exams with just a limp. I even walked on Horsebarn Hill. I found myself in my usual spot, visiting the horses and tricking them into thinking I had food for them. It was wonderful.
And now, I am, if it is even possible, EVEN MORE eager to be back on campus. I cannot wait to start another year on Hamilton 4th. It will be all new girls but Ashley & I will be sure to make it fun. My classes are mostly set. Although since I am now leaning toward a major in Human Development and Family Studies, I would like to pick up an additional HDFS class so I can get a move on with their requirements. That will have to wait until July though. My job at the Jorgensen is secured for next year. Bunny is making up my hours and I'll be picking them up on the first day back. I wish I had applied to be an orientation leader this summer. It's something I've wanted to do ever since my orientation. Perhaps next year. Like I said, I have 3-4 more years to look forward to.
It's been a hell of a year. Think back to September when I was freaking out and crying on the phone everyday. I walked campus in its entirety every morning avoiding my room, my building, everything. I sent emails out begging for comfort and a reason to why I was so unhappy. People were worried, I was worried. I barely went to classes. My grades took quite a dive down. My GPA is still suffering for the damage I did in the first semester.
And then it all changed. I cannot even pinpoint the day it all transitioned over to love. Suddenly, I had Ashley, Daron, my Hamilton girls, and everything just fit. I loved my hallway, I loved my classes, I loved work until 5, dinner at 6. Luisa will tell you that she thanks the Lord I met Ashley, because that's what changed everything. She's probably right. Ashley has been a savior all year for me. But I couldn't have done it without everyone else too. Even Horsebarn Hill was instrumental in my survival. It is amazing how close one can feel to God out there. Everything is perfect on that hill. The sky is wide, blue, and open. The grass is greener than any side I've ever been on. The sun brilliant and warm. You can sit down and hear nothing but a distant moo from a cow and the leaves blowing on a tree.
February 22nd came, and I lost it all. Suddenly, I was back home, stuck on a couch, unable to do anything but think of what I was missing. I am honestly much more grateful for what I have now than I was then. Losing it all opened my eyes. I craved to be back there, sitting in the hallway, absorbing everything around me. I wanted to be back at work, listening to Lucy tell stories about her life and Jen talk about bubbleguts. I wanted the option to walk to the Student Union, find a chair on the third floor, put on my ipod, and watch the people around me. I wanted UConn back. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to return like I had wished. I finished three classes from home, dealing with professors through email, and making occasional appointments for exams. This past Friday, I walked on campus for the first time since February. I was able to walk into and out of my exams with just a limp. I even walked on Horsebarn Hill. I found myself in my usual spot, visiting the horses and tricking them into thinking I had food for them. It was wonderful.
And now, I am, if it is even possible, EVEN MORE eager to be back on campus. I cannot wait to start another year on Hamilton 4th. It will be all new girls but Ashley & I will be sure to make it fun. My classes are mostly set. Although since I am now leaning toward a major in Human Development and Family Studies, I would like to pick up an additional HDFS class so I can get a move on with their requirements. That will have to wait until July though. My job at the Jorgensen is secured for next year. Bunny is making up my hours and I'll be picking them up on the first day back. I wish I had applied to be an orientation leader this summer. It's something I've wanted to do ever since my orientation. Perhaps next year. Like I said, I have 3-4 more years to look forward to.