Jake
Does this ever go away? Do I ever stop having periods where I can't stop wondering what he's doing, whether he's happy, why things went so wrong? Or does it just become less and less often? Will I forget about him after age 50, and then at 65 suddenly find myself crying about him and trying to track down his latest email address, frantically wondering if he's even still alive?
I want to see him. I can't justify it, can't explain what I possibly think it would accomplish. Can't really even argue that it would be a good idea. I only know that I want him in front of me, even if it's just for half an hour over coffee or something. To see his face, to verify that he's a real person and not just some twisted invention of my imagination.
I sent him an email. He probably got it. He's probably still checking that account. But that doesn't mean he'll answer. Even just to say "no."
I want to see him. I can't justify it, can't explain what I possibly think it would accomplish. Can't really even argue that it would be a good idea. I only know that I want him in front of me, even if it's just for half an hour over coffee or something. To see his face, to verify that he's a real person and not just some twisted invention of my imagination.
I sent him an email. He probably got it. He's probably still checking that account. But that doesn't mean he'll answer. Even just to say "no."