Should old acquaintances be forgot?
Wow, I'm having a heat flash right now and my heart is pounding a thousand miles an hour - but not literally cuz that would mean I would be dead. Maybe I'm an idiot for doing this, but its done so here goes nothing.
Well, in a fit of nostalgia I went online last night and I felt the desperate need to get in touch with old friends from my high school days. People who I literally haven't spoken to since .... 1992. That's 13 years now. And I have no friggin idea why last night I had to do it!
So, I put my stuff out there and who answers my little note? The ONE WHO I THREW AWAY LIKE AN IDIOT.
CRAP.
Am I just torturing myself here? I mean, I'm HAPPY for the FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE. I have a husband who I adore, a son who I would throw myself in front of hell to keep safe and sound and a good life in a great city.
I guess in a way I wonder if he thinks about me at all? I wonder if I should ever tell him that I was only myself when I was with him those few weeks when I allowed myself to be free. Now that I'm older and wiser, I kick myself for being an idiot back then.
Then again, if I hadn't done that, then would I be where I am now? With my happy life? I don't think so....
We'll have to see how this goes. Baby steps....
Or maybe I'm just still an idiot.
ARGh.
Well, in a fit of nostalgia I went online last night and I felt the desperate need to get in touch with old friends from my high school days. People who I literally haven't spoken to since .... 1992. That's 13 years now. And I have no friggin idea why last night I had to do it!
So, I put my stuff out there and who answers my little note? The ONE WHO I THREW AWAY LIKE AN IDIOT.
CRAP.
Am I just torturing myself here? I mean, I'm HAPPY for the FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE. I have a husband who I adore, a son who I would throw myself in front of hell to keep safe and sound and a good life in a great city.
I guess in a way I wonder if he thinks about me at all? I wonder if I should ever tell him that I was only myself when I was with him those few weeks when I allowed myself to be free. Now that I'm older and wiser, I kick myself for being an idiot back then.
Then again, if I hadn't done that, then would I be where I am now? With my happy life? I don't think so....
We'll have to see how this goes. Baby steps....
Or maybe I'm just still an idiot.
ARGh.