debt.

[vespertinewish]

i hate money so damn much and not because i don't make enough of it, but because i feel like i need to make more of it. i really don't NEED to. i live at home, i don't pay rent, and my parents are always willing to help financially. my biggest concern is the outrageous debt i've accumulated in the past 6 months. in these past 6 months i have, paid for my lavish 21st birthday in vegas (approximate total $600 spent), paid for my solo winter vacation in San Fran (approximate total $500 spent), and i've purchased the most beautiful puppy (approximate total $800 -including her food, house, toys, shampoo, odor remover, etc.). i did not include the various clothing items and shoes i've paid for using my credit card. since september i have upped my credit card limit twice, raising it to a new total of $3,000 just to help pay for the instant gratification of things like dogs and vacations. i'm a mere $400 from maxing out my card and really have no means to pay for the money i've already spent. to make matters worse i've been ignoring notice upon notice from a collection agency insisting i owe $1,000 for the tonsil surgery i had last august. turns out my family has very shitty insurance (that's changing as of today thanks to the non-profit my dad works for). the total for my tonsillectomy came out to $1030. our very generous insurance company paid their part of $30 and i apparently owe the other $1,000. clearly, i do not have $1,000 dollars and unfortunately my parents don't have it either, otherwise this would've already been taken care of. i'm so nervous knowing i have this debt and by the 17th of this month i also have my $200 car payment and my $317 car insurance to pay. needless to say, i can not afford to go out , so my dear friends, please do not tempt me.
p.s. these ridiculous gas prices are only making things harder on me and all of you, i'm sure.