Xen, this may be of a shock to you, but all you have to do is make a conscious decision to quit! thats all I did. I thought about everyone I was pushing away, friends, family, even myself. I know what your going through, first off you have to stop hanging around others who are doing it, I know its harsh, but seriously, when its not around, its a bit easier to with hold your cravings, you need to sever ties with anyone who can get it, and you need to be around people who understand what your going through, and not judge you for it. I found myself falling down this hole, and I hated it. I made the choice that I liked being myself, not what the drugs made me, which was indecisive, dependent, self conscious, paranoid, questioning myself about what I was capable of, and most of all sick of who I was becoming. If you want to kick this, you need to WANT to kick it, the solution is there, you just have to grab it and go with it. most of all you don't need, or have to be around enablers, don't let them guilt you. plus, sure you had good times with these people, or else you wouldn't be around them, take the good, and leave the bad, no regrets about what you have done, and look towards the future. I love you xenia, your my family, and you deserve better than this. You know you can count on me for support. remember when we watched that pirate documentary? those were good times. take care and even though I'm not in vancouver right now, you have my email address, and I will be there for you. Your such a talented person, and I want to see you succeed. ask me anything, and I will help out the best I can.
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