Bohemia and Life and Love and Learning
So... what have I been up to lately?
1) Working on my literary journal, Bohemia, which is the love of my life. I gaged myself for happiness to see if I am still emotionally invested in the project... because it is a lot of work and it doesn't make any money. Well, I still enjoy it. I enjoy all the people who like doing it and I enjoy their work and the finished product. They are the ones that make it special.
I enjoy the submissions we get. I enjoy the meetings we do and interacting and listening and telling them about Bohemia plans. I enjoy the creative planning. I enjoy watching people grow and blossom in their art. I enjoy their thoughts, ideas, and contributions to the journal. I like it.
I remember the first meeting that I had for the project -- I told everyone that this is a labor of love and I was committed to do it as long as it is fun. So, I look at whether I am having fun a lot. A journal is art and it showcases beautiful things. It contributes to the arts just by being. If it becomes unjoyful, then it is not worth it.
WHAT I committed to and TELL all of those who contribute their time to the project is that I will do everything in my power to get us an audience. That is what I work on every day -- GETTING HITS. Hits. Hits. Hits. Hits.
HITS!! :D
That is the one and only promise that I have ever made. I promise I will work hard to get the project fans. If I fail, it will not be for lack of trying. I am pleased with every single person who sees what we are doing and likes it. To me, even one fan is good -- if you made something and one person likes it then you did a good job. Lol, but I don't think everyone sees it that way.
That's really not "professional Mandy" speaking, that is "inner Mandy." That is "knows-what's-best-Mandy" that I forget to listen to sometimes. Happiness is more important than anything else, but I fight the fight with those who want us to "be more professional" all the time. How do you make LOVE professional?
Well, I am working on it :) That's why they call me "sweetheart blue."
It has been a team effort. And yes, it does continue to be a slow build. Every day we get new submissions. Every day we get new Twitter fans, blog fans, readers. Our blogs used to get like 30 or 40 hits a day. Now we are averaging around 200 hits a day, sometimes less (and sometimes much more).
I tell the writers to do their own thing and have personal blogs and projects that they can cross-promote on Bohemia (in a non-cheesy way). Some write exclusively for Bohemia because that is all they have time for. Either way, I troll around the internet looking at other art mags and writings but always come back to Bohemia because it is just the most interesting and fun and cool blog/magazine that I have found. I like the writing (photos and everything else).
Anyway.
I think that I will start maintaining this blog as sort of a "hey, this is the movie I am watching or the song I am digging or my personal thoughts and photos" and then try to put my more professional writing on the blog... essay type writing.
Livejoural can be a place for me to be verymandy... Bohemia can be a place for me to be Amanda Hixson.
I want the Bohemia blog to represent Bohemia and the magazine, not me. When I write for Bohemia then I am writing for Bohemia, not just for fun. It is fun, but it is not for fun -- if that makes sense. In Bohemia, I am just one blogger of many and we are creating a professional magazine/journal. It is not suposed to be a vanity project. It is supposed to be writing that I think the Bohemia fans and audience will like.
I like it when the blogger's writing reflects their own personalities and shows aspects of themselves, but I don't think every thought that pops into someone's head (mine specifically) should necessarily be associated with the magazine... I like a lot of cheesy weird stuff. I think I should find a special place like Livejournal for me to be cheesy and weird.
2) Working on my career as a poet. I never really thought that many people would read or hear my poetry. I've always taken it seriously as far as writing it and expressing myself artistically, but it has been shocking and overwhelming to start performing it and for people to approach me and tell me that they are fans of my work. I am honestly a fan of a lot of other people's work and it is humbling to know that there is an audience for what I do too. Even if no one likes it except me, I would still do it -- but I think that if my words can be something that someone relates to and enjoys then I am a small part of some sort of poetry community.
I used to meticulously keep all of my poetry on livejoural -- the ones that I had revised out of my journals and binders and some that I had written actually on the internet and in Livejournal or Microsoft Word. Now I've started writing some on Facebook and on random computers that I have abandoned. My work actually reflects this process because many of the choices I make as far as where to end lines and how to write it reflect the screen that I am looking at and the formatting wrote into the programs. It's weird-- but I like what I create.
Without having these works on paper or organized anywhere -- sometimes they are just lost though. I post them on facebook on a feed and I will probably never see them again. I've started just throwing words to the wind. Who cares. But I guess I will work on trying to organize the ones I've kept track of into a collection and they might be published by a publishing company or I might just publish them myself. I could download a bunch of free clip art and make Photoshop pictures to go with it. I dunno.
There are a lot of talented people in Central Texas who honestly should have published books or ebooks more over me. I think my job is more to encourage THEM and do my thing too, more for myself.
3) Being a housewife. Donnie and I moved into a house and I am trying to be a housewife because I had the passion to start my own business with the journal and so in order to contribute I am trying to be better at cleaning and cooking and stuff like that. o.O
I actually wrote a poem the other day that I think points out the weirdness of how a housewife position seems like a subservient female role but you are working on managing the household, your husband is doing the slave work (thank you baby!), and you actually have equal power. I don't even see managing money as something that gives Donnie power. In fact, I have begged him for years to manage my money and he has refused because he knows it is work and it is a headache and he didn't want to. Well, now that I don't make any money -- he has no choice. He manages all of our bills. The only money I manage is whatever allowance he gives me and all the money that comes in for Bohemia which I just use to maintain the business anyway.
Honestly, Donnie has told me that if Bohemia doesn't start bringing in a little bit of $$$, he won't allow me to do it anymore... which motivated me to learn InDesign in order to lay out the magazine myself and cut out a lot of other costs to the business such as printing.
The stress of running the magazine has always been raising funds. I have been raising about 5,000 dollars every 3 months to cover the costs of printing out the magazine. If I ever decide to go back to work, then I can get a job somewhere where I have to raise money! Apparently, I am good at it!
And I have loved doing it but that doesn't mean it is not stressful. Especially if you feel like you are letting people down if you don't raise enough money.
It is a roller-coaster, fundraising is. You feel so happy and blessed to all the people that are showing so much love for the project you are doing that they are giving you money :D And it is wonderful. You feel grateful and it keeps the project going. But as much as they give you-- there is always more that needs to be raised because 5,000 is a lot of money!!!! And when you are doing other stuff too as far as the magazine goes... there never seems to be enough time to do it.
I feel like cutting the costs of the business is a blessing in disguise. By Donnie telling me that I can't print the magazine out myself anymore and just putting the magazine up on Mag Cloud for people to download and print themselves if they want a copy of it actually opens the creative side up for me and for the staff. Instead of spending all of our time throwing fundraisers, we can work on the writing, pictures etc. If people like it, then they can buy it. We also put the magazine online for people to download and view for free so if they like it -- they can also have it for free if they want. Yay!
He is tired of me doing it for free. So I evaluated everything and made some projections and planned some things out and I changed the whole way I'm doing it so that I figure I can sell about 400 dollars worth of ads a month. People have things to advertise. We have a magazine that about 1,000 different people a month look at online -- if you have something that you want 1,000 people to look at then you can paypal between 5 and 40 dollars, depending on the size of the ad you want. That's it. Done.
And after I pay back some debts I've accumulated (not that much), the magazine will finally be bringing in a salary for me. And I can start paying some of my personal debts. My personal debts are a lot more than the Bohemia debts. I've protected Bohemia-- I've sheltered it from debt. And I have spent my whole adult life in personal debt so -- that's nothing new.
4) Will I go back to school and earn my Master's or not? I am considering it, strongly.
1) Working on my literary journal, Bohemia, which is the love of my life. I gaged myself for happiness to see if I am still emotionally invested in the project... because it is a lot of work and it doesn't make any money. Well, I still enjoy it. I enjoy all the people who like doing it and I enjoy their work and the finished product. They are the ones that make it special.
I enjoy the submissions we get. I enjoy the meetings we do and interacting and listening and telling them about Bohemia plans. I enjoy the creative planning. I enjoy watching people grow and blossom in their art. I enjoy their thoughts, ideas, and contributions to the journal. I like it.
I remember the first meeting that I had for the project -- I told everyone that this is a labor of love and I was committed to do it as long as it is fun. So, I look at whether I am having fun a lot. A journal is art and it showcases beautiful things. It contributes to the arts just by being. If it becomes unjoyful, then it is not worth it.
WHAT I committed to and TELL all of those who contribute their time to the project is that I will do everything in my power to get us an audience. That is what I work on every day -- GETTING HITS. Hits. Hits. Hits. Hits.
HITS!! :D
That is the one and only promise that I have ever made. I promise I will work hard to get the project fans. If I fail, it will not be for lack of trying. I am pleased with every single person who sees what we are doing and likes it. To me, even one fan is good -- if you made something and one person likes it then you did a good job. Lol, but I don't think everyone sees it that way.
That's really not "professional Mandy" speaking, that is "inner Mandy." That is "knows-what's-best-Mandy" that I forget to listen to sometimes. Happiness is more important than anything else, but I fight the fight with those who want us to "be more professional" all the time. How do you make LOVE professional?
Well, I am working on it :) That's why they call me "sweetheart blue."
It has been a team effort. And yes, it does continue to be a slow build. Every day we get new submissions. Every day we get new Twitter fans, blog fans, readers. Our blogs used to get like 30 or 40 hits a day. Now we are averaging around 200 hits a day, sometimes less (and sometimes much more).
I tell the writers to do their own thing and have personal blogs and projects that they can cross-promote on Bohemia (in a non-cheesy way). Some write exclusively for Bohemia because that is all they have time for. Either way, I troll around the internet looking at other art mags and writings but always come back to Bohemia because it is just the most interesting and fun and cool blog/magazine that I have found. I like the writing (photos and everything else).
Anyway.
I think that I will start maintaining this blog as sort of a "hey, this is the movie I am watching or the song I am digging or my personal thoughts and photos" and then try to put my more professional writing on the blog... essay type writing.
Livejoural can be a place for me to be verymandy... Bohemia can be a place for me to be Amanda Hixson.
I want the Bohemia blog to represent Bohemia and the magazine, not me. When I write for Bohemia then I am writing for Bohemia, not just for fun. It is fun, but it is not for fun -- if that makes sense. In Bohemia, I am just one blogger of many and we are creating a professional magazine/journal. It is not suposed to be a vanity project. It is supposed to be writing that I think the Bohemia fans and audience will like.
I like it when the blogger's writing reflects their own personalities and shows aspects of themselves, but I don't think every thought that pops into someone's head (mine specifically) should necessarily be associated with the magazine... I like a lot of cheesy weird stuff. I think I should find a special place like Livejournal for me to be cheesy and weird.
2) Working on my career as a poet. I never really thought that many people would read or hear my poetry. I've always taken it seriously as far as writing it and expressing myself artistically, but it has been shocking and overwhelming to start performing it and for people to approach me and tell me that they are fans of my work. I am honestly a fan of a lot of other people's work and it is humbling to know that there is an audience for what I do too. Even if no one likes it except me, I would still do it -- but I think that if my words can be something that someone relates to and enjoys then I am a small part of some sort of poetry community.
I used to meticulously keep all of my poetry on livejoural -- the ones that I had revised out of my journals and binders and some that I had written actually on the internet and in Livejournal or Microsoft Word. Now I've started writing some on Facebook and on random computers that I have abandoned. My work actually reflects this process because many of the choices I make as far as where to end lines and how to write it reflect the screen that I am looking at and the formatting wrote into the programs. It's weird-- but I like what I create.
Without having these works on paper or organized anywhere -- sometimes they are just lost though. I post them on facebook on a feed and I will probably never see them again. I've started just throwing words to the wind. Who cares. But I guess I will work on trying to organize the ones I've kept track of into a collection and they might be published by a publishing company or I might just publish them myself. I could download a bunch of free clip art and make Photoshop pictures to go with it. I dunno.
There are a lot of talented people in Central Texas who honestly should have published books or ebooks more over me. I think my job is more to encourage THEM and do my thing too, more for myself.
3) Being a housewife. Donnie and I moved into a house and I am trying to be a housewife because I had the passion to start my own business with the journal and so in order to contribute I am trying to be better at cleaning and cooking and stuff like that. o.O
I actually wrote a poem the other day that I think points out the weirdness of how a housewife position seems like a subservient female role but you are working on managing the household, your husband is doing the slave work (thank you baby!), and you actually have equal power. I don't even see managing money as something that gives Donnie power. In fact, I have begged him for years to manage my money and he has refused because he knows it is work and it is a headache and he didn't want to. Well, now that I don't make any money -- he has no choice. He manages all of our bills. The only money I manage is whatever allowance he gives me and all the money that comes in for Bohemia which I just use to maintain the business anyway.
Honestly, Donnie has told me that if Bohemia doesn't start bringing in a little bit of $$$, he won't allow me to do it anymore... which motivated me to learn InDesign in order to lay out the magazine myself and cut out a lot of other costs to the business such as printing.
The stress of running the magazine has always been raising funds. I have been raising about 5,000 dollars every 3 months to cover the costs of printing out the magazine. If I ever decide to go back to work, then I can get a job somewhere where I have to raise money! Apparently, I am good at it!
And I have loved doing it but that doesn't mean it is not stressful. Especially if you feel like you are letting people down if you don't raise enough money.
It is a roller-coaster, fundraising is. You feel so happy and blessed to all the people that are showing so much love for the project you are doing that they are giving you money :D And it is wonderful. You feel grateful and it keeps the project going. But as much as they give you-- there is always more that needs to be raised because 5,000 is a lot of money!!!! And when you are doing other stuff too as far as the magazine goes... there never seems to be enough time to do it.
I feel like cutting the costs of the business is a blessing in disguise. By Donnie telling me that I can't print the magazine out myself anymore and just putting the magazine up on Mag Cloud for people to download and print themselves if they want a copy of it actually opens the creative side up for me and for the staff. Instead of spending all of our time throwing fundraisers, we can work on the writing, pictures etc. If people like it, then they can buy it. We also put the magazine online for people to download and view for free so if they like it -- they can also have it for free if they want. Yay!
He is tired of me doing it for free. So I evaluated everything and made some projections and planned some things out and I changed the whole way I'm doing it so that I figure I can sell about 400 dollars worth of ads a month. People have things to advertise. We have a magazine that about 1,000 different people a month look at online -- if you have something that you want 1,000 people to look at then you can paypal between 5 and 40 dollars, depending on the size of the ad you want. That's it. Done.
And after I pay back some debts I've accumulated (not that much), the magazine will finally be bringing in a salary for me. And I can start paying some of my personal debts. My personal debts are a lot more than the Bohemia debts. I've protected Bohemia-- I've sheltered it from debt. And I have spent my whole adult life in personal debt so -- that's nothing new.
4) Will I go back to school and earn my Master's or not? I am considering it, strongly.