(no subject)
Experimenting with no tv and music/reading instead. It's beautifully silent in this house and I have to say I appreciate that. Want to re-read House of Leaves. Somewhere in Dale's library. Must dig out.
Experimenting with getting the days intake of food in before 6. Proving difficult when work ends at 5 and don't settle until close to 5:30. I managed it by a hair today. Should be interesting.
The Cardigans are my fave band next to Morrissey. They are so friggen good. I think they were a victim of poor record company marketing. Dale put every album on my iPod, which has proven handy in my proprietary foray into the tv-less. Reminds me. Get a docking station. Laptop sound quality is poo-poo.
Stella is sleeping on a toy sheep that I bought the dogs. She is using it like a pillow and it's a full click past adorable.
Using Clary Sage essential oil for balance in spell of lonliness. Trying to stay positive. Everything is tired and fearful of being alone for so long what is typically untypical frequencies of time on both sides of the fence. It is always there, just stronger or weaker depending on the day/week/month.
I feel abnormal for not needing therapy. Is that wrong? to know so many people in therapy that I feel out of place not sharing that "bond" with people? It's not to say that I haven't been there before b/c I have. it's just not something I am seeking at this stage. maybe I should? Maybe i need a "deployed soldiers" support group. I hate support groups. I wouldn't want to go to that even if it existed. I have a poor attitude towards them, obviously. Probably because i am in denial of needing one.
I fight a perpetual battle to keep the house smelling nice. This house smells different that the apartment. i wonder what fundamentally give a house a smell? I don't think it's the things that you put into them to make them smell nice and not like things you don't like to smell b/c everytime i burn something in the house that is new or I have never burned before it always smells the same. yesterday I had the air conditioning on and the house smelled so fresh. It made me feel ALIVE instead of breathing stale a/c air all of the time. It was wonderful to sit on the couch with no tv, a fresh warm breeze coming through the windows, reading and just being. Pretty. awesome.
Experimenting with getting the days intake of food in before 6. Proving difficult when work ends at 5 and don't settle until close to 5:30. I managed it by a hair today. Should be interesting.
The Cardigans are my fave band next to Morrissey. They are so friggen good. I think they were a victim of poor record company marketing. Dale put every album on my iPod, which has proven handy in my proprietary foray into the tv-less. Reminds me. Get a docking station. Laptop sound quality is poo-poo.
Stella is sleeping on a toy sheep that I bought the dogs. She is using it like a pillow and it's a full click past adorable.
Using Clary Sage essential oil for balance in spell of lonliness. Trying to stay positive. Everything is tired and fearful of being alone for so long what is typically untypical frequencies of time on both sides of the fence. It is always there, just stronger or weaker depending on the day/week/month.
I feel abnormal for not needing therapy. Is that wrong? to know so many people in therapy that I feel out of place not sharing that "bond" with people? It's not to say that I haven't been there before b/c I have. it's just not something I am seeking at this stage. maybe I should? Maybe i need a "deployed soldiers" support group. I hate support groups. I wouldn't want to go to that even if it existed. I have a poor attitude towards them, obviously. Probably because i am in denial of needing one.
I fight a perpetual battle to keep the house smelling nice. This house smells different that the apartment. i wonder what fundamentally give a house a smell? I don't think it's the things that you put into them to make them smell nice and not like things you don't like to smell b/c everytime i burn something in the house that is new or I have never burned before it always smells the same. yesterday I had the air conditioning on and the house smelled so fresh. It made me feel ALIVE instead of breathing stale a/c air all of the time. It was wonderful to sit on the couch with no tv, a fresh warm breeze coming through the windows, reading and just being. Pretty. awesome.