Pantheist Solipsism
It's sobering-
And in a way, quite a disenchantment; the detachment with those whom I considered the closest to my heart.
My heart; that province within which one guides himself with archaic maps.
Fuck you. Fuck me and fuck everything regarding the combination of you and me. I wake up and tell myself every morning that people are good. That life is good.. Yeah.. The former; Duplicitous. The latter; tedious, at best.
You could've remained true. Forget anyone else's sake; It's your own integrity you've blown to hell..
I was, at one point, running blind for someone. They would say "Jump!" and I'd reply "How high?". I've never really landed from that said jump. Metaphorically, of course. Of gravity I am not exempt. And now, not only am I running blind for another, but I have become deaf to the voice of experience. He has eyes reminiscent of an eclipse I saw when I was little and of a color not too different from that my own.. But I'm not going to flatter him with my time.. I'm over unrequited love. Not that you would have any idea..
I've been well. Although I'm dying to know how everyone else who means anything to me has been doing.. I love it; How everyone has, by the looks of it, found other people or other things to occupy themselves with. While I meticulously follow every one of their steps during their endeavors to obtain my replacements. I'm to blame for that. I place to much importance on people. Invest too much into them. I'm not looking for attention. Fuck that. I guess it's just that I (apparently) place a greater meaning on friendship..
It's "friends" like this that have made me such a slave to consequence. And half of the time; The consequences I enslave myself to never occur.
And by the way; It's two hearts broken. Not one. But don't worry. By now, it must feel, at least to you, as if I've never set foot in your life. What I'd give for such indifference- for such malleability to pretenses set forth by inherent insecurities and uncertainties. You've changed. I don't know who it is exactly that you're trying to convince, but it saddens to me to see you compromising yourself in this way. For as brilliant, as beautiful and as unique as you are, this is very immature and very generic of you.
I'm going to sleep.. Probably not for a few hours.. I'm going to wake up tomorrow and tell myself something different.
And in a way, quite a disenchantment; the detachment with those whom I considered the closest to my heart.
My heart; that province within which one guides himself with archaic maps.
Fuck you. Fuck me and fuck everything regarding the combination of you and me. I wake up and tell myself every morning that people are good. That life is good.. Yeah.. The former; Duplicitous. The latter; tedious, at best.
You could've remained true. Forget anyone else's sake; It's your own integrity you've blown to hell..
I was, at one point, running blind for someone. They would say "Jump!" and I'd reply "How high?". I've never really landed from that said jump. Metaphorically, of course. Of gravity I am not exempt. And now, not only am I running blind for another, but I have become deaf to the voice of experience. He has eyes reminiscent of an eclipse I saw when I was little and of a color not too different from that my own.. But I'm not going to flatter him with my time.. I'm over unrequited love. Not that you would have any idea..
I've been well. Although I'm dying to know how everyone else who means anything to me has been doing.. I love it; How everyone has, by the looks of it, found other people or other things to occupy themselves with. While I meticulously follow every one of their steps during their endeavors to obtain my replacements. I'm to blame for that. I place to much importance on people. Invest too much into them. I'm not looking for attention. Fuck that. I guess it's just that I (apparently) place a greater meaning on friendship..
It's "friends" like this that have made me such a slave to consequence. And half of the time; The consequences I enslave myself to never occur.
And by the way; It's two hearts broken. Not one. But don't worry. By now, it must feel, at least to you, as if I've never set foot in your life. What I'd give for such indifference- for such malleability to pretenses set forth by inherent insecurities and uncertainties. You've changed. I don't know who it is exactly that you're trying to convince, but it saddens to me to see you compromising yourself in this way. For as brilliant, as beautiful and as unique as you are, this is very immature and very generic of you.
I'm going to sleep.. Probably not for a few hours.. I'm going to wake up tomorrow and tell myself something different.