Siiiiick again, and major changes for the future O_O
I'm so sick. I've been lying around and sleeping all day. I kind of feel like I have a fever, but my head doesn't feel very warm. My stomach cycles through pain and nausea, and I feel very, very weak. :-( I don't like! I'm hardly ever sick. It's probably good for me though. I like getting sick every-so-often, if only to remember there are so many people suffering like this and much more intensely, for long periods of time. And, usually I feel more alive once I'm better. But...I still don't like being sick! I have so much work to do, and all I can do is lie around in agony with a headache and stomach funk. I hate school, dammit.
Wow....I've been thinking about the future a crazy amount Saturday, yesterday, and today. So, I've decided (or, I'm 90% sure) I want to leave Naropa. There are many reasons I could tell you. First of all, the art program here sucks. Let's face it. I'm not going to graduate with a solid art education AT ALL. I'm not going to be learning serious techniques that I need to know to be a graphic novelist or book illustrator or anything else. I was thinking how I might want to do concept design for video games or something like that, and there's no way I could without training in design, intensive drawing, computer art applications, etc. Well, maybe I could, but it would be a huge struggle and also unlikely for me to get hired with my vague Naropa art degree.
Second, I'm bored. There aren't many more classes I want to take here. All the classes I wanted to take originally just don't look appealing anymore. I feel trapped at this place and I don't want to be here another 2 1/2 years, only to graduate with a flimsy degree that means nothing to me or anyone else. Sure, it's true, I've learned some great things here. I will never regret coming to Naropa. It has definitely prepared me for my future....future education. This place isn't meant for high school graduates who don't have any background education and little experience under their belts. I know it's right for some people, but really, the undergradute program has a very long way to go and I think the direction they're taking it is ridiculous and I'm embarrassed to go here. The new, MOST academic classes center around diversity and "seeing yourself as a researcher," and I don't even want to know what else. Please, if I hear the word diversity one more time I'm going to scream. "Something's wrong with Naropa....hmmmm....I know! We need more diversity, and we need to teach everyone about how much we need diversity, and how important it is in the world, and how this could be a peaceful world if we just could love diversity..." PUKE.
There are other reasons I think but I'm too sick to remember. So here's my plan for the future:
-Next semester, take classes at Naropa, mostly ones that will transfer such as art history, advanced drawing, watercolor or painting II, and maybe a Naropa-y class like Body/Mind Centering, T'ai Chi, or Yoga. I don't really want to come back here at all but I think it would be good to get some more art stuff in and finish up my time here.
-Go home in May, go to reunion, etc.
-Come back to Boulder, I HOPE get a job at Time Warp or Guiry's or...someplace that will hire me...that isn't a restaurant...
-Move to a monthly rental apartment with Marlon, moving via movers.
-Possibly take Japanese at CU in the fall and work, or just work, or take a class at Naropa and work, or something.
-Go home for GOOD in December via my parents picking me up with an enormous Uhaul. Stay home for a few months, take driving lessons if I don't this summer, get my license, apply to SCAD, continue to build my portfolio, all that jazz.
-In February or probably March 2007, go on the CHI program to Japan, where I'll stay with a family and tutor them in basic conversational English for a max of 15 hrs a week for 1-3 months. The rest of the time I'm free to explore. Marlon and I are going to request posts near each other...hopefully that's possible, I haven't looked into it too deeply yet.
-Summer 2007, probably get a job in CT since I hope I'll have my license and a greater degree of mobility. -_-
-Fall 2007, hopefully go to SCAD! O_O I hope I like the place...eh heh.... ^^; Move into cute 2br apartment with Marlon. Housing there is much cheaper than here. Geez, I want to make my portfolio amazing before applying so there will be no doubt that I'll get in. It's always a fear.
-Spend the next 3 or 2 1/2 years living in Savannah, GA attending SCAD. Graduate with a degree in Sequential Art and a minor in painting.
Sounds like a plan. A much better one than sticking around here due to laziness and fear. I'm terrified and excited about this plan. SCAD is seriously more intense than Naropa, and I'll have to adapt to a completely different environment. It's in Georgia, I now live in Boulder, CO. Culture shock! But maybe a good one? At SCAD I'll be surrounded by amazing, incredibly talented, trained art students who will no doubt be better and more intense than I am, if only because they've already had more training and possess a more cosmopolitan mindset than I. But does it matter? I'll get out of it the most I can, do the work as best I can and try my hardest not to get stressed out or carried away by any group mentality that may be there. I'll have people who understand my aspirations and want to help me reach them, and know HOW to help me reach them. After I get my degree....I can move someplace tranquil, publish my already well-on-its-way graphic novel series that I will have worked on for school assignments at SCAD, and....be an adult...with a degree I'm proud of, and on my way to fulfilling my dreams.
Sounds idealistic, right? Well, maybe, but I also think it's more realistic than what I'm doing now. Whatever I decide to do after SCAD, I'll have a solid art education that will serve me in any future artistic pursuit. If I want to get my MFA, I'll have a good background and a better portfolio, and have much more confidence than I would with a Naropa degree. Same with becoming an art teacher, or doing illustrations, and of course, doing graphic novels, which has been my dream since what? 6th grade? Even though it's a coming and going passion, it's always there, and keeps coming back no matter what low points I experience. I don't know where that passion will take me, but I want to share my stories with people in the future.
My challenge now is trying to stay present...it's hard when I keep thinking about the future and I still have a long time before it comes. I should try to enjoy my remaining time at Naropa, but it's so hard to focus. I'm definitely ready to go home for winter break. I'm sick of this semester. I can't believe I actually have a lot of homework to do tomorrow and the next day and the next day, and that I have a big research paper I've barely started due in 2 weeks, and my final exam for art history, plus more art history papers and readings that I simply can't stand anymore. I feel like I've leapt ahead two years and all this stuff is unreal. Does that make sense?
Anyway, I'm going to bed, or to do something. Maybe paint a little. But it's late, I should probably go to bed. :-/ Decisions decisions. I think me, my parents, and Marlon are going to fly down to Savannah in early January to visit SCAD. I have to get more info about visiting though.
This is exciting!!!!!
Wow....I've been thinking about the future a crazy amount Saturday, yesterday, and today. So, I've decided (or, I'm 90% sure) I want to leave Naropa. There are many reasons I could tell you. First of all, the art program here sucks. Let's face it. I'm not going to graduate with a solid art education AT ALL. I'm not going to be learning serious techniques that I need to know to be a graphic novelist or book illustrator or anything else. I was thinking how I might want to do concept design for video games or something like that, and there's no way I could without training in design, intensive drawing, computer art applications, etc. Well, maybe I could, but it would be a huge struggle and also unlikely for me to get hired with my vague Naropa art degree.
Second, I'm bored. There aren't many more classes I want to take here. All the classes I wanted to take originally just don't look appealing anymore. I feel trapped at this place and I don't want to be here another 2 1/2 years, only to graduate with a flimsy degree that means nothing to me or anyone else. Sure, it's true, I've learned some great things here. I will never regret coming to Naropa. It has definitely prepared me for my future....future education. This place isn't meant for high school graduates who don't have any background education and little experience under their belts. I know it's right for some people, but really, the undergradute program has a very long way to go and I think the direction they're taking it is ridiculous and I'm embarrassed to go here. The new, MOST academic classes center around diversity and "seeing yourself as a researcher," and I don't even want to know what else. Please, if I hear the word diversity one more time I'm going to scream. "Something's wrong with Naropa....hmmmm....I know! We need more diversity, and we need to teach everyone about how much we need diversity, and how important it is in the world, and how this could be a peaceful world if we just could love diversity..." PUKE.
There are other reasons I think but I'm too sick to remember. So here's my plan for the future:
-Next semester, take classes at Naropa, mostly ones that will transfer such as art history, advanced drawing, watercolor or painting II, and maybe a Naropa-y class like Body/Mind Centering, T'ai Chi, or Yoga. I don't really want to come back here at all but I think it would be good to get some more art stuff in and finish up my time here.
-Go home in May, go to reunion, etc.
-Come back to Boulder, I HOPE get a job at Time Warp or Guiry's or...someplace that will hire me...that isn't a restaurant...
-Move to a monthly rental apartment with Marlon, moving via movers.
-Possibly take Japanese at CU in the fall and work, or just work, or take a class at Naropa and work, or something.
-Go home for GOOD in December via my parents picking me up with an enormous Uhaul. Stay home for a few months, take driving lessons if I don't this summer, get my license, apply to SCAD, continue to build my portfolio, all that jazz.
-In February or probably March 2007, go on the CHI program to Japan, where I'll stay with a family and tutor them in basic conversational English for a max of 15 hrs a week for 1-3 months. The rest of the time I'm free to explore. Marlon and I are going to request posts near each other...hopefully that's possible, I haven't looked into it too deeply yet.
-Summer 2007, probably get a job in CT since I hope I'll have my license and a greater degree of mobility. -_-
-Fall 2007, hopefully go to SCAD! O_O I hope I like the place...eh heh.... ^^; Move into cute 2br apartment with Marlon. Housing there is much cheaper than here. Geez, I want to make my portfolio amazing before applying so there will be no doubt that I'll get in. It's always a fear.
-Spend the next 3 or 2 1/2 years living in Savannah, GA attending SCAD. Graduate with a degree in Sequential Art and a minor in painting.
Sounds like a plan. A much better one than sticking around here due to laziness and fear. I'm terrified and excited about this plan. SCAD is seriously more intense than Naropa, and I'll have to adapt to a completely different environment. It's in Georgia, I now live in Boulder, CO. Culture shock! But maybe a good one? At SCAD I'll be surrounded by amazing, incredibly talented, trained art students who will no doubt be better and more intense than I am, if only because they've already had more training and possess a more cosmopolitan mindset than I. But does it matter? I'll get out of it the most I can, do the work as best I can and try my hardest not to get stressed out or carried away by any group mentality that may be there. I'll have people who understand my aspirations and want to help me reach them, and know HOW to help me reach them. After I get my degree....I can move someplace tranquil, publish my already well-on-its-way graphic novel series that I will have worked on for school assignments at SCAD, and....be an adult...with a degree I'm proud of, and on my way to fulfilling my dreams.
Sounds idealistic, right? Well, maybe, but I also think it's more realistic than what I'm doing now. Whatever I decide to do after SCAD, I'll have a solid art education that will serve me in any future artistic pursuit. If I want to get my MFA, I'll have a good background and a better portfolio, and have much more confidence than I would with a Naropa degree. Same with becoming an art teacher, or doing illustrations, and of course, doing graphic novels, which has been my dream since what? 6th grade? Even though it's a coming and going passion, it's always there, and keeps coming back no matter what low points I experience. I don't know where that passion will take me, but I want to share my stories with people in the future.
My challenge now is trying to stay present...it's hard when I keep thinking about the future and I still have a long time before it comes. I should try to enjoy my remaining time at Naropa, but it's so hard to focus. I'm definitely ready to go home for winter break. I'm sick of this semester. I can't believe I actually have a lot of homework to do tomorrow and the next day and the next day, and that I have a big research paper I've barely started due in 2 weeks, and my final exam for art history, plus more art history papers and readings that I simply can't stand anymore. I feel like I've leapt ahead two years and all this stuff is unreal. Does that make sense?
Anyway, I'm going to bed, or to do something. Maybe paint a little. But it's late, I should probably go to bed. :-/ Decisions decisions. I think me, my parents, and Marlon are going to fly down to Savannah in early January to visit SCAD. I have to get more info about visiting though.
This is exciting!!!!!