[EXO] haec!verse oneshots
Fandom: EXO
Rating: PG
Word count: 6,872 total
Pairing: SeSoo, KyungMyeon
Notes: This is the end of official haec!verse, as far as I am concerned. I have this inkling that I might write later SeKai too, but no promises, also it might end up being tweetfic. Just saying.
Not that I haven't enjoyed it, but at the same time I am so glad to see the end of this. >__>
Kyungsoo
3,770 words
Kyungsoo's greatest frustration is Sehun's irrational dislike of Junmyeon.
Junmyeon had been one of the people involved in hiring Kyungsoo, his sympathetic smile one of the things that had helped to calm Kyungsoo's nerves during that stressful interview, so when Kyungsoo gets an email saying that Junmyeon will be sticking by him to show him the ropes during his first week, Kyungsoo heaves a sigh of relief. When he leaves for his first day of work, he's still apprehensive despite Sehun's snarky comments. He almost shoots back that Sehun's never been through the pressure of being the new guy at a prestigious business firm, but he knows that's not really fair. Sehun stays out late every night, working to do his share. So instead Kyungsoo smiles and tries not to sweat through the layers of his suit in the abysmal heat.
Kyungsoo doesn't quite feel like he merits the praise Junmyeon heaps on him whenever he introduces him to someone that day, like he's some sort of prodigy, but the resulting laughter and denials do wonders to break the ice. He realizes that this is Junmyeon's intention, and marvels at his skill in earning people's respect and goodwill. The second day only confirms his impression, and in a spontaneous fit of hospitality, he invites Junmyeon over for dinner the next night. He thrills at the prospect of introducing Sehun to a new friend.
The dinner is a nightmare.
Sehun had commented on his sudden enthusiastic friendship, but Kyungsoo had no idea how determined he was to dislike Junmyeon until the latter actually walks in the door and into a veiled insult. Kyungsoo spends the entire night trying to play advocate or peacemaker or buffer (he's not sure which), and he's ready to despair because he can't do this like Junmyeon can. He can't effortlessly win people over like Junmyeon can. Not that it seems like even Junmyeon can break through Sehun's sullen resentment. When the night ends and it becomes clear that Sehun is actually jealous, Kyungsoo is angry and frustrated. He knows how unsure Sehun still is and how his nature is to form one single deep attachment, but the idea that he feels threatened by Kyungsoo's coworker of two days is ridiculous. Especially when said coworker is setting aside his own tasks and pressures to be there to walk Kyungsoo through his anxieties.
So, Kyungsoo thinks, perhaps more bitterly than he'd like, I can be there to hold your hand and take care of you, but no one's allowed to do the same for me.
He doesn't say it though, because Sehun is there for him, just not in the way Kyungsoo is for Sehun. And it would only hurt Sehun if he said it, and Kyungsoo never does anything to hurt anyone if he can help it, so he doesn't let himself harbor any resentment. After all, Sehun isn't very confident and needs all the reassurance Kyungsoo can give him.
Junmyeon doesn't say anything about Sehun, and Kyungsoo wouldn't let him if he tried, but it's not hard to see that he was insulted by the way the evening had gone. Kyungsoo does everything he can to smooth things over, and if Junmyeon still gets this pinched, resigned look whenever Sehun's name comes up, at least he goes back to smiling warmly and genuinely at Kyungsoo, laying a hand on his arm or shoulder when he laughs. Before he can stop himself, Kyungsoo mentions that he looks far less constipated when he's not frowning, forgetting for a second that they're supposed to be coworkers, then freezes when Junmyeon looks surprised. A second later, Junmyeon laughs. It's not his official smile, and Kyungsoo has learned to tell the difference now - this one makes him look like he's crying and Kyungsoo tells him so. The resulting elbow in his side makes Kyungsoo smile too, steadily ignoring the pleased flush he can feel heating his face. This is progress, he thinks. It still bothers him that Sehun and Junmyeon dislike each other so, but Kyungsoo can't stop himself from hoping that he can still bring the two of them together. For now, Kyungsoo is content to be the quiet neutral zone, the one to settle ruffled feathers.
He spends his days learning as quickly as he can, taking notes on everything Junmyeon says and working hard to make sure that Junmyeon's time is not spent on him in vain. Junmyeon doesn't spare him any of the pressure - throwing him right into client meetings and official events - but he's always nearby to rescue Kyungsoo if he gets really out of his depth, completely missing references to past projects or floundering for a name. Afterwards, he always takes his time to debrief Kyungsoo too, usually with a bracing cup of coffee grabbed from the cafe on the bottom floor as they reenter the office, instead of the sludge left for general consumption in the office coffee pot. Junmyeon invites him out every evening without fail too, but at that point Kyungsoo always feels like he's been away from home for long enough. He's caught between the two, and if Junmyeon gets his days then Sehun has a right to his nights. Even if he gets home too late now to catch Sehun before he leaves for the restaurant, Kyungsoo can at least bring back little things he notices Sehun running out of, favorite foods he sees them running low on. Kyungsoo can be there when he collapses into bed late at night to wrap his arms around Sehun and listen to the mumbled story of his day until one or both of them fall asleep. He catches lunch with Sehun as often as he can, but it's not as much as they're used to and he can sense Sehun's dissatisfaction. Twenty-four hours in a day are divided between Sehun and Junmyeon, and Kyungsoo is happy whenever he can make them smile, even as he feels himself slowly splitting down the middle.
As the first full week nears its midpoint, Junmyeon tells Kyungsoo that they'll be meeting with a client actually looking to hire them for a project. Kyungsoo's eyebrows go up, he nods quietly, and then spends the afternoon hiding in the bathroom from everyone, feeling overwhelmed. It's probably a good thing that Junmyeon's waited until the day before the meeting to tell him about it, because Kyungsoo knows that if he'd known earlier he'd only have had longer to work himself into a nervous wreck about it, but even so. Less than a day's notice seems like not nearly enough time to mentally prepare himself to make an actual selling pitch. Junmyeon assures him that all he'll have to do is look pretty and seem moderately inspired, which Kyungsoo finds less comforting than Junmyeon probably means it to be.
Thursday morning also brings the storm Sehun's been waiting for. His sudden surge of energy and good humor makes Kyungsoo laugh, forgetting momentarily that in a few hours' time he'll have the financial prospects of the firm resting on his shoulders. The knowledge doesn't take long to seep back into his mind though, the tight knot his stomach has worked itself into seeming to sit heavy below his ribcage. Sehun has to force food into his mouth, and Kyungsoo is still trying to consume copious amounts of cream cheese when he walks into the office. He doesn't have a car and the prospective client works about two hours away, so the plan is to catch a ride with Junmyeon. Of course Sehun hadn't liked the plan, but Kyungsoo can't spare much of a thought for that since he's too busy trying to surreptitiously wipe his sweaty palms on the sides of his pants. Junmyeon talks easily while he drives, like he's trying to take the edge off of Kyungsoo's fear. It works too, because the more Junmyeon quizzes him and goes over their material, the more Kyungsoo realizes how much information he really has absorbed. He still has little faith in his speaking abilities, but his job is simply to be "the architect" and appear vaguely competent while Junmyeon goes over his qualifications. This is an encouraging thought, and by the time they finally pull up to their destination, his heart is no longer running a marathon (merely a quick jog around the park). Kyungsoo takes a moment to breathe deeply before they walk in the doors, the smell of rain to come hanging in the air. It's fresh and bracing and Kyungsoo smiles.
The meeting goes without so much as a hitch. Kyungsoo walks back out the front doors feeling a good fifty pounds lighter, the huge nervous weight he'd been dragging with him having melted away in the face of the client's enthusiastic interest. Actually, it had probably had far more to do with the company's reputation and Junmyeon's smooth explanations than any effort on Kyungsoo's part, and he gives credit where credit is due. Still, it's a relief to have it over with. It looks like late evening when they step outside, but Kyungsoo's watch reads 3:45. The bright summer sun usual at this time of day has been masked by clouds, turning the air and sky a murky green. The landscape looks like an underwater vista, like the trees swaying are caught in a current instead of wind, and the air is certainly humid enough to add to the illusion. Junmyeon glances at the sky once, very briefly, and digs around for his keys.
"We'd better get going," he says. "Looks like a big storm."
"I really hope so," Kyungsoo says. "It looks like exactly what Sehun needs."
Junmyeon doesn't say anything, but Kyungsoo thinks he sees a frown before he turns away to get into the car.
The rain hits before they make it back into the city. Junmyeon struggles on for a while, hunched over the steering wheel to peer out through the windshield, but it's slow going. Visibility is zero, making the cars around them slow to a creep. They're like a trail of crawling ants, tailing each other through the downpour with emergency lights flashing. The glass is covered in condensation even with the defogger going full blast, so Kyungsoo takes his sleeve and periodically clears a window for Junmyeon to see out of, at the same time trying to discreetly clutch the handle on the side of the car every time the line of vehicles weaves dangerously back and forth across the painted lines. Junmyeon lets out a sigh, then looks over at Kyungsoo.
"We may have to wait this out," he says apologetically. "I can barely see as it is, and it's only getting worse."
"Oh, I wish I'd brought a book," Kyungsoo tries not to look at the way the car is straddling two lanes right now. "I didn't expect we'd have to pull off."
Junmyeon cranes his neck to see the exit signs.
"We're actually not too far from my place," he says. "I should be able to get us there, and it would certainly beat sitting on the side of the road, twiddling our thumbs. What do you say?"
"To tell you the truth, I'm kind of tired of sitting in a car," admits Kyungsoo.
His stomach chooses that moment as well to alert him of its continued empty state, which makes Junmyeon laugh.
"We can do something about that too," he smiles, and Kyungsoo isn't sure what it is about Junmyeon's tone that has his chest feeling surprisingly warm.
The next exit takes them into a neighborhood of small, suburban houses, all new and freshly-built. Kyungsoo catches sight of a few designs that intrigue him and a few that make him cringe, but for the most part they're unobjectionable and unmemorable. It's into the driveway of one of these unmemorable houses that Junmyeon turns into, and the preparations to brave the walk to the door remind Kyungsoo of something.
"Oh, hang on," he says, pulling out his phone. "I have to let Sehun know where I am."
Junmyeon makes a small, noncommittal noise while he leans over the divider into the backseat in search of an umbrella.
Kyungsoo dials Sehun's cell, hoping he's not interrupting at a crucial moment, and is greeted with something muffled that sounds something like, "Mwth mp?"
"Sehun?" he checks.
"Yeah. What's up?" Sehun says, more clearly this time.
Junmyeon has found an umbrella and the rain gets louder when he opens the car door to unfurl it.
"Hi," Kyungsoo says, trying to hold the phone closer and gather his belongings all at once. "I won't be back until late."
"Why?"
Sehun sounds suspicious, the frown audible in his voice. Kyungsoo resists the urge to frown back, instead slinging his bag over his shoulder and taking a deep breath before he throws the car door open.
"It's raining too hard to drive," he explains. "Cars are pulled over all along the road and visibility is really bad."
He dives under the umbrella Junmyeon is holding at the ready. It's a bit small for the two of them, so half of Kyungsoo's shirt is drenched in the few seconds it takes to push the door shut.
"We were on our way back from the meeting when it hit, so we got caught on the road," Kyungsoo continues.
There's some shuffling on the other end before Sehun answers. "So what are you doing now?"
"Well," Kyungsoo can tell this isn't going to go over well even before he says it. "Junmyeon's place is really close, so I think we're just going to stay put here until it clears up."
There's a long silence on the other end. Kyungsoo takes shelter under the edge of the small porch while Junmyeon unlocks the front door. A crack of lightning sounds just close enough to make Kyungsoo start, and Junmyeon looks over to make sure he's alright. Kyungsoo just smiles and nods before listening at the phone again.
“Are you painting the storm right now?” he asks, having gotten no answer. “It’s a really good one."
He kicks off his shoes inside the door, signaling silently at Junmyeon to give him a second.
"I should get off and let you get back to work," he says, resigned to the obstinate silence on the other end. "I’ll see you later, okay? I don't know how long it'll last, so you don't have to wait up."
"Yes," Sehun finally answers. "Yes, I'm painting. I'll stay up. I'll- yes."
There's something desperate about his voice that Kyungsoo isn't sure how to address.
"Don't worry about it," he says, as soothingly as he can. "Just concentrate on painting and get some rest."
"Okay," Sehun doesn't sound soothed at all. "Okay. I'll see you when you get back. I'll stay up."
Kyungsoo hangs up with a quiet "bye". He's somewhat torn between the desire to make his way home to wrap Sehun into his arms and reassure him, storm or no storm, and exasperation that reassurance seems to be necessary in the first place. He knows that when Sehun stops to think, he'll realize that it would be stupid for Kyungsoo to continue home on roads like these, but it irks him just a little bit that Sehun so resents his time in Junmyeon's presence because of a failed first impression. It's these thoughts that settle him into Junmyeon's upholstered sofa, fully determined to wait the storm out to its end.
Junmyeon's taste in wine wasn't just a one-off chance success with the bottle he'd brought to dinner, Kyungsoo discovers, and they settle into comfortable conversation before too long. Outside of work, Junmyeon is more prone to terrible jokes and embarrassed smiles, but is no less competent or in control, and even manages to carry off his merely passable culinary skills with good humor and aplomb. He won't even hear of letting Kyungsoo take over since "the guest shouldn't have to do any of the work," so Kyungsoo ends up standing against the stove and chatting while the food heats. The longer they talk, though, the harder it becomes to stay on neutral topics, especially since any descriptions or stories about his life inevitably involve Sehun. Junmyeon seems to be trying to push into this dangerous conversational territory, but Kyungsoo refuses to get into an argument with him, and is grateful when Junmyeon appears to catch the hint before any awkwardness ensues. By the time they sit down to eat, Kyungsoo is pretty sure he could have eaten a horse.
"This is actually pretty good," he says. "I was worried for a while, watching you there."
"I know, I know," Junmyeon laughs, "You're much better."
"I wasn't going to say that!" Kyungsoo protests, but he's laughing too.
"I may only know how to make two dishes in the world, but I like to think I'm pretty good at those two. Your dinner was a bright spot in my otherwise monotonous culinary life."
Junmyeon's tone is facetious, but still something about the way he says it suggests that he's pointedly leaving certain other things about that night unsaid. Kyungsoo is under no illusions as to what those things are. Unflattering comments about Sehun are hovering on the tip of Junmyeon's tongue, and Kyungsoo tries to think of a way to safely change the topic.
"I could teach you how to make something else sometime?" he suggests. He immediately cringes at how familiar it sounds.
"Something tells me your boyfriend might not like that," Junmyeon says, broaching the very topic Kyungsoo's been trying to deflect.
He stresses the "boy" ever so slightly, which prompts Kyungsoo to come to Sehun's defense. Junmyeon seems uninclined to listen to any excuses Kyungsoo can make, and it's like deja vu as Kyungsoo has visions of failed attempts to argue with a similarly stubborn-minded Sehun.
"I looked him up, you know," continues Junmyeon. "After that night? I know what rent costs in that part of town, and there's no way he's making enough to even make up a quarter of that."
"If you're going to try and convince me that Sehun is using me for my wallet, you're not going to find much success."
"I'm just saying, it doesn't seem fair."
"It doesn't balance like a checkbook," Kyungsoo frowns at the wall. "That's not how it works, and you know it."
"Even so," Junmyeon argues, "You can't tell me it's fair when you leave work tired every night and every invitation I extend is turned down because 'Sehun needs something'. Is he so terribly busy that he has to send you to run all his errands for him?"
"We're not all lucky enough to have dreams that keep office hours," Kyungsoo counters.
"Even dreams have to take other people into account," says Junmyeon. "Nothing I saw that night convinced me that he ever takes your time into account."
The unfair accusation makes Kyungsoo's voice rise as he stands up from the table.
"Maybe you shouldn't pass judgements without having all the facts," he snaps.
"Maybe you shouldn't shut down a discussion just because you're afraid I'm right," Junmyeon counters just as sharply.
Kyungsoo is about ready to storm out, even though the rain is still pouring in steady buckets. The worst part is that he can't even dismiss everything Junmyeon has said, since he's been frustrated with Sehun for these very things not that long ago. It's not that he believes Sehun capable of using him or knowingly taking advantage of his resources, but it would be a lie to say that Kyungsoo never resents always having to be the driving force in their relationship, with the burden of all decisions inevitably falling on his shoulders. Still, no matter what his own feelings may be, Junmyeon has no right to say it. Junmyeon catches up to him at the door back into the living room, stopping him with a hand on Kyungsoo's arm.
"I'm sorry," he says.
Another thing. Sehun is never so free and open in his apologies. Kyungsoo looks, but there's nothing to show that Junmyeon is anything other than sincere. His anger doesn't immediately vanish, but it's not in Kyungsoo's nature to refuse an apology. He knows he won't hold a grudge, and regrets losing his temper quite so quickly with someone who is technically his superior, and definitely his friend. Junmyeon takes a breath.
"Maybe it's not my place-"
"It's not," Kyungsoo cuts in, but quietly.
"-but it's hard for me."
Junmyeon stops and looks at his hand on Kyungsoo's arm rather than looking him in the eye.
"It's hard to see you always on the clock," he goes on. "I know I've thrown a lot at you recently, and I truly admire how hard you've worked to adapt to everything. It's just hard to see you leave every night after all that to go dance attendance on someone I'm afraid doesn't appreciate it."
Clearly they don't agree on that last point, but-
"Why do you care?" Kyungsoo asks quietly.
Junmyeon really does look nervous then. The hand on Kyungsoo's arm trembles, and Kyungsoo wants to take it between his own until it calms.
"Even if you can't see what I mean, I know you can't have missed this," Junmyeon says, and oh, Sehun had been right to be jealous.
Junmyeon takes control of a kiss just as easily as he takes control of any situation. He takes whatever feedback Kyungsoo gives him and moves swiftly to meet it. When Kyungsoo sways slightly, Junmyeon guides him to the doorframe, leaving an arm there to support. No burden of decision left to Kyungsoo, no need to be the one who knows what he's doing. But Kyungsoo does know what he's doing. Junmyeon has left him room to move away, an escape route that he should take, and yet it's hard to. The feeling of simply being the one along for the ride is one Kyungsoo hasn't felt in years. It's relaxing and so, so easy to just let it happen. To let it go on for just a moment more. It can never happen again, he knows, shouldn't happen again, while at the time he's stuck with the growing knowledge that he'd like it to.
I can never tell Sehun, Kyungsoo thinks sadly, I can't. It would break his heart.
The guilt he feels then is one that he'll come to know well in the weeks to come.
Junmyeon
3,102 words
Junmyeon doesn't mean to fall for the company's newest employee. It just seems to happen, and by the time he realizes what's going on, Do Kyungsoo has wedged himself so firmly into Junmyeon's affections that there seems to be no way of removing him, short of cardiac amputation. It's not surprising that he watches Kyungsoo, considering how he's meant to guide him through his adjustment period, but he realizes early on that the focus of his attention has shifted in a way no new mentee, no new intern, has inspired in the past.
Kyungsoo is competent, which immediately earns Junmyeon's admiration. He's quick to learn and efficient. They had done well in hiring him. Junmyeon had been part of the interview process, where his first impression had been that Kyungsoo did not interview well. The others had certainly found his tendency to stare and give monosyllabic answers unsettling, but that was what Junmyeon was there for, after all. Before long he had seen Kyungsoo relax enough to sell himself quite creditably, and even slip in a joke or two which had Junmyeon choking on his bottled water while going over the heads of his fellow interviewers. Not outgoing and exuberant by any means, but clearly not at all dull. The final nail that had secured Junmyeon's decision was when he saw the papers in Kyungsoo's hands shake only when he was at the door to leave. He had looked both incredibly young and incredibly controlled, and Junmyeon's gut had told him that there was something important here.
He thinks now that his heart had also told him something that he wouldn't hear for a while yet.
When he shows up to work on the first day, Kyungsoo is still quiet, determinedly taking notes on everything Junmyeon tells him. It's clear that there's going to be no huge 180 here, but it's still counted a victory when Junmyeon gets him to crack another sly joke before the end of the day. He seems surprised when Junmyeon laughs, like he expected his somewhat snarky jab to go unnoticed, and while his smile doesn't get any bigger when Junmyeon tells him he doesn't mind, it does appear more comfortable. It suits him, Junmyeon thinks. It's quiet and would almost go unnoticed to someone who wasn't watching for it. It's his job to watch for it though, Junmyeon supposes, just like it's his job to anticipate Kyungsoo's questions before they arise and to dispel his nerves before they surface. It's probably not his job to invite him out for a drink that night, but Junmyeon can chalk that up to just how addicting pulling those little smiles out of Kyungsoo is turning out to be. At any rate, Kyungsoo turns him down, saying ruefully that he "has to get home and feed Sehun".
Huh, Junmyeon thinks. He never mentioned having a cat.
Sehun, Junmyeon learns, is not a cat. Or a dog. He is a person, one whom Kyungsoo describes in the fond way someone might describe a toddler. Kyungsoo talks more on his second day, though that's not a tall order to fill, considering he hadn't exactly been loquacious the day before. Still, Junmyeon learns that he's been living in the area since he left school, he's been taking individual building commissions and living off the proceeds until the next one comes along, and that he had wanted to join the company as a means of acquiring a predictable paycheck. He also learns that Sehun, whoever Sehun is, likes to spend hours playing Far Cry 3, doesn't like doing the laundry or when Kyungsoo leaves the radio playing at sub-deafening volumes in the background, and is nearly incapable of preparing any food that isn't prepackaged. Junmyeon wonders for a moment if Kyungsoo perhaps has a kid from a previous relationship before deciding that, no, he's probably too young and also that this is not workplace-appropriate pondering.
"Must get kind of boring eating microwave-ready food," Junmyeon remarks as they walk down the hall.
"I think Sehun would eat cardboard if provided enough ramyun flavoring to go with it," laughs Kyungsoo. "And I cook dinner when I'm at home, so at least we both get one real meal a day. Oh, and that reminds me... I have to get to the store on my way home tonight."
When he pulls out his phone to leave himself a reminder, Junmyeon finds himself staring at the unconscious crease between Kyungsoo’s eyebrows.
"I guess that means if I tried renewing my invitation to drinks, I'd get turned down again," he says, ignoring how he suddenly wants to rub that crease away with his fingers. This is also not workplace-appropriate.
Junmyeon is becoming increasingly aware that many of his thoughts where Kyungsoo is concerned are not purely impersonal office associate thoughts.
"Sorry," Kyungsoo apologizes, "I've left a lot of errands way too long now."
It certainly seems like a long list he's making. Junmyeon thinks Kyungsoo deliberately clears the frown lingering on his lips (that Junmyeon's definitely not supposed to notice) when he returns the phone to his pocket and smiles slightly over at Junmyeon.
"But if you'd like to come over for dinner tomorrow night, I'd like to thank you for all your help," Kyungsoo continues. "I'll be in charge of cooking, so nothing microwavable."
Junmyeon protests half-heartedly that oh, no, that's not necessary at all, but allows Kyungsoo to convince him rather quickly.
"Besides," says Kyungsoo, "This way you can meet Sehun too."
This prospect doesn't have Junmyeon as thrilled as he thinks Kyungsoo would probably like him to be, but he smiles sunnily anyway.
"I look forward to it," he says, and Kyungsoo smiles back.
The next day Kyungsoo is no less competent and efficient, but Junmyeon can tell that all the while he's running over logistics and turning over details for that night. He wants to tell Kyungsoo not to worry about it, that whatever he plans will be fine, but ends up saying nothing. Something tells him that Kyungsoo might not appreciate it. Instead, Junmyeon concentrates his energy into figuring out an appropriate gift for the host (or hosts). He realizes he knows next to nothing about Sehun, so he falls back on the old favorite - a bottle of wine. He would ask what they’re having for dinner so that he can match the wine to it, but he balks at placing any more pressure on Kyungsoo.
The heat when he leaves the office building is damp and heavy, hanging over his shoulders and making the cloth of his button-up shirt cling with every turn and gesture. He’ll have to change when he gets home and hope that he doesn’t sweat through that one too badly as well. The evening is slightly cooler, but not enough to bring relief to the lethargic city streets, and Junmyeon feels sandwiched between sluggish cars clogging up the roads as he drives towards Kyungsoo’s apartment, one eye on the street and the other on his phone’s GPS display. The worry that he’ll be late has him drumming nervously on the steering wheel and checking the rosé he’d finally settled on, currently sitting in the passenger seat next to him, to make sure it’s not getting too warm. Worse comes to worst, he’ll just ask to stick it in the freezer for a while and they won’t be able to drink it right away. Junmyeon takes a deep breath, deliberately not looking at the time as he reminds himself that being a few minutes late is not the end of the world and that no one likes a houseguest who arrives early, before the hosts are ready to receive them. He also, however, knows the importance of a first impression. His job is to make a good impression, after all, so he worries.
He walks into Kyungsoo’s living room ready to make the best damn first impression of his life - for Kyungsoo’s sake, if not his own - and walks into a blank stare set in a face several inches above his own. This is Sehun, he supposes, and his interest is piqued despite himself. Sehun’s face could not be considered welcoming, but Junmyeon has never been one to be put off by an imposing face. Usually the ones who looked the most prickly turned out to be the ones with the sweetest natures underneath, so Junmyeon continues to examine him with interest. An unexceptionable tshirt and… are those sweatpants?
Fuck. He’s overdressed.
Junmyeon can feel his eyebrows pull together slightly as he adjusts his tie unconsciously. No. No, he’s not overdressed. Kyungsoo is also wearing a dress shirt, albeit without a tie and with sleeves rolled up since he’s been in the kitchen, so Junmyeon’s wardrobe is not completely out of place. But that means... No, he's not going to make any unfavorable judgements. He smiles and holds out a hand to shake Sehun's.
"You must be Sehun," Junmyeon bows, and as he does so, catches a look leveled at his tie that makes him feel ridiculously defensive. "Nice to meet you. You're Kyungsoo's roommate?"
The air between them seems to get several degrees cooler.
"His boyfriend," Sehun is definitely frowning now.
This is a new and disconcerting development, thinks Junmyeon. Kyungsoo had mentioned nothing about having a boyfriend, though, to be fair, they've technically only been working together for three days now and Kyungsoo had spent at least one and a half of those days talking about Sehun. Junmyeon probably should have seen this coming.
"Ah, really?" he says, feeling ever so slightly wrong-footed. He's not used to feeling wrong-footed. "Kyungsoo has mentioned you a few times, but we haven't really gotten to know each other very well yet."
"How wonderful."
Sehun's meaning is perfectly clear, and Junmyeon would have to be thick not to pick up the undertones of back the fuck off in Sehun's voice. Thick, Junmyeon is not, yet his hackles still rise at Sehun's blunt tone. He sees Kyungsoo shake his head and mouth something at Sehun which goes largely ignored.
"Well," Junmyeon attempts to come to Kyungsoo's rescue by groping for a safe topic. "If you'll get glasses, maybe we can try some of the wine before dinner?"
He holds up the bottle in his hand, condensation still dripping off the side. Sehun doesn't move, instead choosing to stand and glare at Junmyeon while Kyungsoo leaves the room in a hurry. Sehun seems perfectly content to let Kyungsoo rummage around in cabinets on his own, and to let Junmyeon stand there with a bottle dripping sadly onto the rug. He looks like a petulant child, Junmyeon can't help but think. It's like an irritated seven-year-old is towering over him and glowering, which is why Junmyeon doesn't think before he speaks, seeing Kyungsoo come back into the living room with three wine glasses.
"He's old enough to drink?" he asks.
Sehun actually snatches the bottle out of his hands, carrying it over to a side table and all but ripping the foil around the cork off.
"He is. Would you care to check ID?" Sehun flings over his shoulder, wielding a corkscrew with ease.
An apology is on the tip of Junmyeon's tongue, but then he happens to catch sight of Kyungsoo's face. He looks mortified. Junmyeon is instantly irritated. He could handle a few jabs himself, but he's spent the past few days looking out for Kyungsoo and the habit is hard to break, even here, outside of the office.
Kyungsoo moves across the room, looking like he's helping Sehun with the glasses, but Junmyeon hears him whisper, "Sehun, manners."
"I'll use them if he does."
Junmyeon hears the muttered reply, and sees the frustrated look on Kyungsoo's face when he brings Junmyeon his glass. He lets his hand brush Kyungsoo's as he takes it, hoping to convey a sense of sympathy and support, but he doesn't know how well this works.
Sehun says nothing more to distress Kyungsoo, which Junmyeon can't help but be grateful for, but he spends the entire evening in a brooding slouch, eyes intent on Junmyeon like he's ready to go for his throat at the slightest provocation. The burden of conversation, then, is left to Kyungsoo and Junmyeon. They continue to talk the same way they do at work, which is perfectly friendly and lively, but the restrained professional demeanor of the office is replaced now with the thunderous presence between them in the room, and neither of them seems able to relax as completely as Junmyeon had hoped. The one remark he addresses to Sehun early on goes unanswered and, indeed, unheard, so he gives up. Kyungsoo sits next to Sehun at the table, the restraining hand on Sehun's knee not unnoticed by Junmyeon, sitting across from them. From where he sits, Kyungsoo looks for all the world like a harried parent, reigning in his misbehaving offspring. It seems glaringly unequal to Junmyeon, stuck here with growing discomfort and vexation, watching Kyungsoo running after Sehun's tempestuous moods.
When the conversation at the table hits a lull, Junmyeon makes a decision. Sehun is not going to sit at the table in sullen silence any longer if he can help it.
"So, Sehun," he says, in as warm and encouraging a voice as he can, "I realize I don't know a lot about you. What do you do for a living?"
Sehun remains staring at Junmyeon's tie for a moment, making Junmyeon once more wish for a mirror to check what's so damned fascinating about it, then seems to realize that both Junmyeon and Kyungsoo are looking at him expectantly.
"What?" he says. Junmyeon resists the urge to sigh.
"I just asked what you do for a living?" he says again.
"Oh," Sehun's brow furrows, like he's thinking. "I'm... a painter."
Finally, they're getting somewhere. Junmyeon knows nothing about art, and certainly nothing about painting, but he can be politely interested at least. It explains the casual wardrobe too. Work clothes that won't suffer too badly from wayward paint. Junmyeon would still have made more of an effort to dress up, but then again he's never had a lot of patience for careless artistic personalities either. For Kyungsoo's sake then.
"Really?" Junmyeon says. "You must have done some of the paintings in here then."
The walls around them are covered in paintings, so it seems a safe bet that Sehun is responsible for at least one of them. Sure enough, Sehun's face softens somewhat at the acknowledgement, turning to look fondly at one picture of a brick building. Junmyeon thinks it looks nice, though he has no authority to judge on any technical merits it might have.
"He's very good," Kyungsoo says. The smile he gives Sehun is proud and fond. Junmyeon clears his throat and looks back at Sehun.
"He must be, to make painting lucrative," he says. He has to admit there's something appealing about the image of the architect and the genius painter together, something that touches the secret romanticism in his soul. "I'd always heard that it's hard for even the best painters to make a living doing that, but you manage to keep an apartment like this. I'm very impressed."
He is impressed, but Sehun's face instantly falls back into his previous scowl as he looks down and stabs viciously at a leaf of salad.
"I actually have a job at a restaurant too," he says.
Ah. Not that successful then. Junmyeon isn't sure if he's disappointed or not.
"Sehun works very hard," Kyungsoo says, sounding protective, as if he's afraid Junmyeon will come back with some sort of scathing criticism.
Junmyeon is hurt. He has more tact than that, he thinks. Still, a damper has effectively been put on this topic, and the conversation doesn't quite seem to recover its earlier liveliness. Normally he might expect an evening like this to stretch out for several hours past the end of dinner, eaten up in conversation and maybe another bottle of wine, but the atmosphere in the apartment right now is not exactly convivial. Junmyeon excuses himself after a few minutes, saying that he has to be ready for work the next morning. Kyungsoo agrees, conveys his regrets that Junmyeon can't stay longer. Sehun glares.
Only Kyungsoo comes to the door to see him out, not that Junmyeon had particularly expected Sehun to get up. He can't even say anything to Kyungsoo either. Any apology he might try to make for the way the evening went would sound like he was blaming Sehun, which might be the truth, but it's hardly something he can say.
"I guess I'll see you tomorrow," Junmyeon says, retying his shoelaces.
"I guess so," agrees Kyungsoo.
Neither of them mention the third member of tonight's party, hidden from them right now where he probably sits unmoved in the living room where they'd left him. If Kyungsoo doesn't say anything, then neither can Junmyeon. He's not a close friend, he has no right. If he were something more than just a coworker, he could shrug and joke about it. He could brush it off as unimportant. The fact remains, though, that the sulky boy slumped in a chair in the other room has more of a claim to Kyungsoo's loyalty than Junmyeon does. No matter how surlish, how outright rude Sehun had been, no matter how he acted or acts, Junmyeon is a coworker. That's all.
"See you."
The half-hug Kyungsoo gives him now is no different from the one he'd given when Junmyeon had first walked in, but now Junmyeon knows.
He can't say anything about Sehun, but that doesn't mean he doesn't want to. Junmyeon can't say how much he hates seeing Kyungsoo bend over backwards to cater to a childish whim and an inexplicable bad mood. Sehun can dislike Junmyeon all he wants, but he had made Kyungsoo worry and, what's worse, he hadn't even seemed to notice. Junmyeon wants to say all these things, wants to let Kyungsoo know that he had noticed, but he can't. It's not his place to offer comfort, or to wrap Kyungsoo in his arms and tell him he doesn't have to worry. He's worked alongside Kyungsoo for only three days, but the realization that he wants to do all these things is still there. He's not content to just be a coworker to Kyungsoo from now on, just someone he works with.
Junmyeon doesn't think that will ever be enough for him.
Rating: PG
Word count: 6,872 total
Pairing: SeSoo, KyungMyeon
Notes: This is the end of official haec!verse, as far as I am concerned. I have this inkling that I might write later SeKai too, but no promises, also it might end up being tweetfic. Just saying.
Not that I haven't enjoyed it, but at the same time I am so glad to see the end of this. >__>
Kyungsoo
3,770 words
Kyungsoo's greatest frustration is Sehun's irrational dislike of Junmyeon.
Junmyeon had been one of the people involved in hiring Kyungsoo, his sympathetic smile one of the things that had helped to calm Kyungsoo's nerves during that stressful interview, so when Kyungsoo gets an email saying that Junmyeon will be sticking by him to show him the ropes during his first week, Kyungsoo heaves a sigh of relief. When he leaves for his first day of work, he's still apprehensive despite Sehun's snarky comments. He almost shoots back that Sehun's never been through the pressure of being the new guy at a prestigious business firm, but he knows that's not really fair. Sehun stays out late every night, working to do his share. So instead Kyungsoo smiles and tries not to sweat through the layers of his suit in the abysmal heat.
Kyungsoo doesn't quite feel like he merits the praise Junmyeon heaps on him whenever he introduces him to someone that day, like he's some sort of prodigy, but the resulting laughter and denials do wonders to break the ice. He realizes that this is Junmyeon's intention, and marvels at his skill in earning people's respect and goodwill. The second day only confirms his impression, and in a spontaneous fit of hospitality, he invites Junmyeon over for dinner the next night. He thrills at the prospect of introducing Sehun to a new friend.
The dinner is a nightmare.
Sehun had commented on his sudden enthusiastic friendship, but Kyungsoo had no idea how determined he was to dislike Junmyeon until the latter actually walks in the door and into a veiled insult. Kyungsoo spends the entire night trying to play advocate or peacemaker or buffer (he's not sure which), and he's ready to despair because he can't do this like Junmyeon can. He can't effortlessly win people over like Junmyeon can. Not that it seems like even Junmyeon can break through Sehun's sullen resentment. When the night ends and it becomes clear that Sehun is actually jealous, Kyungsoo is angry and frustrated. He knows how unsure Sehun still is and how his nature is to form one single deep attachment, but the idea that he feels threatened by Kyungsoo's coworker of two days is ridiculous. Especially when said coworker is setting aside his own tasks and pressures to be there to walk Kyungsoo through his anxieties.
So, Kyungsoo thinks, perhaps more bitterly than he'd like, I can be there to hold your hand and take care of you, but no one's allowed to do the same for me.
He doesn't say it though, because Sehun is there for him, just not in the way Kyungsoo is for Sehun. And it would only hurt Sehun if he said it, and Kyungsoo never does anything to hurt anyone if he can help it, so he doesn't let himself harbor any resentment. After all, Sehun isn't very confident and needs all the reassurance Kyungsoo can give him.
Junmyeon doesn't say anything about Sehun, and Kyungsoo wouldn't let him if he tried, but it's not hard to see that he was insulted by the way the evening had gone. Kyungsoo does everything he can to smooth things over, and if Junmyeon still gets this pinched, resigned look whenever Sehun's name comes up, at least he goes back to smiling warmly and genuinely at Kyungsoo, laying a hand on his arm or shoulder when he laughs. Before he can stop himself, Kyungsoo mentions that he looks far less constipated when he's not frowning, forgetting for a second that they're supposed to be coworkers, then freezes when Junmyeon looks surprised. A second later, Junmyeon laughs. It's not his official smile, and Kyungsoo has learned to tell the difference now - this one makes him look like he's crying and Kyungsoo tells him so. The resulting elbow in his side makes Kyungsoo smile too, steadily ignoring the pleased flush he can feel heating his face. This is progress, he thinks. It still bothers him that Sehun and Junmyeon dislike each other so, but Kyungsoo can't stop himself from hoping that he can still bring the two of them together. For now, Kyungsoo is content to be the quiet neutral zone, the one to settle ruffled feathers.
He spends his days learning as quickly as he can, taking notes on everything Junmyeon says and working hard to make sure that Junmyeon's time is not spent on him in vain. Junmyeon doesn't spare him any of the pressure - throwing him right into client meetings and official events - but he's always nearby to rescue Kyungsoo if he gets really out of his depth, completely missing references to past projects or floundering for a name. Afterwards, he always takes his time to debrief Kyungsoo too, usually with a bracing cup of coffee grabbed from the cafe on the bottom floor as they reenter the office, instead of the sludge left for general consumption in the office coffee pot. Junmyeon invites him out every evening without fail too, but at that point Kyungsoo always feels like he's been away from home for long enough. He's caught between the two, and if Junmyeon gets his days then Sehun has a right to his nights. Even if he gets home too late now to catch Sehun before he leaves for the restaurant, Kyungsoo can at least bring back little things he notices Sehun running out of, favorite foods he sees them running low on. Kyungsoo can be there when he collapses into bed late at night to wrap his arms around Sehun and listen to the mumbled story of his day until one or both of them fall asleep. He catches lunch with Sehun as often as he can, but it's not as much as they're used to and he can sense Sehun's dissatisfaction. Twenty-four hours in a day are divided between Sehun and Junmyeon, and Kyungsoo is happy whenever he can make them smile, even as he feels himself slowly splitting down the middle.
As the first full week nears its midpoint, Junmyeon tells Kyungsoo that they'll be meeting with a client actually looking to hire them for a project. Kyungsoo's eyebrows go up, he nods quietly, and then spends the afternoon hiding in the bathroom from everyone, feeling overwhelmed. It's probably a good thing that Junmyeon's waited until the day before the meeting to tell him about it, because Kyungsoo knows that if he'd known earlier he'd only have had longer to work himself into a nervous wreck about it, but even so. Less than a day's notice seems like not nearly enough time to mentally prepare himself to make an actual selling pitch. Junmyeon assures him that all he'll have to do is look pretty and seem moderately inspired, which Kyungsoo finds less comforting than Junmyeon probably means it to be.
Thursday morning also brings the storm Sehun's been waiting for. His sudden surge of energy and good humor makes Kyungsoo laugh, forgetting momentarily that in a few hours' time he'll have the financial prospects of the firm resting on his shoulders. The knowledge doesn't take long to seep back into his mind though, the tight knot his stomach has worked itself into seeming to sit heavy below his ribcage. Sehun has to force food into his mouth, and Kyungsoo is still trying to consume copious amounts of cream cheese when he walks into the office. He doesn't have a car and the prospective client works about two hours away, so the plan is to catch a ride with Junmyeon. Of course Sehun hadn't liked the plan, but Kyungsoo can't spare much of a thought for that since he's too busy trying to surreptitiously wipe his sweaty palms on the sides of his pants. Junmyeon talks easily while he drives, like he's trying to take the edge off of Kyungsoo's fear. It works too, because the more Junmyeon quizzes him and goes over their material, the more Kyungsoo realizes how much information he really has absorbed. He still has little faith in his speaking abilities, but his job is simply to be "the architect" and appear vaguely competent while Junmyeon goes over his qualifications. This is an encouraging thought, and by the time they finally pull up to their destination, his heart is no longer running a marathon (merely a quick jog around the park). Kyungsoo takes a moment to breathe deeply before they walk in the doors, the smell of rain to come hanging in the air. It's fresh and bracing and Kyungsoo smiles.
The meeting goes without so much as a hitch. Kyungsoo walks back out the front doors feeling a good fifty pounds lighter, the huge nervous weight he'd been dragging with him having melted away in the face of the client's enthusiastic interest. Actually, it had probably had far more to do with the company's reputation and Junmyeon's smooth explanations than any effort on Kyungsoo's part, and he gives credit where credit is due. Still, it's a relief to have it over with. It looks like late evening when they step outside, but Kyungsoo's watch reads 3:45. The bright summer sun usual at this time of day has been masked by clouds, turning the air and sky a murky green. The landscape looks like an underwater vista, like the trees swaying are caught in a current instead of wind, and the air is certainly humid enough to add to the illusion. Junmyeon glances at the sky once, very briefly, and digs around for his keys.
"We'd better get going," he says. "Looks like a big storm."
"I really hope so," Kyungsoo says. "It looks like exactly what Sehun needs."
Junmyeon doesn't say anything, but Kyungsoo thinks he sees a frown before he turns away to get into the car.
The rain hits before they make it back into the city. Junmyeon struggles on for a while, hunched over the steering wheel to peer out through the windshield, but it's slow going. Visibility is zero, making the cars around them slow to a creep. They're like a trail of crawling ants, tailing each other through the downpour with emergency lights flashing. The glass is covered in condensation even with the defogger going full blast, so Kyungsoo takes his sleeve and periodically clears a window for Junmyeon to see out of, at the same time trying to discreetly clutch the handle on the side of the car every time the line of vehicles weaves dangerously back and forth across the painted lines. Junmyeon lets out a sigh, then looks over at Kyungsoo.
"We may have to wait this out," he says apologetically. "I can barely see as it is, and it's only getting worse."
"Oh, I wish I'd brought a book," Kyungsoo tries not to look at the way the car is straddling two lanes right now. "I didn't expect we'd have to pull off."
Junmyeon cranes his neck to see the exit signs.
"We're actually not too far from my place," he says. "I should be able to get us there, and it would certainly beat sitting on the side of the road, twiddling our thumbs. What do you say?"
"To tell you the truth, I'm kind of tired of sitting in a car," admits Kyungsoo.
His stomach chooses that moment as well to alert him of its continued empty state, which makes Junmyeon laugh.
"We can do something about that too," he smiles, and Kyungsoo isn't sure what it is about Junmyeon's tone that has his chest feeling surprisingly warm.
The next exit takes them into a neighborhood of small, suburban houses, all new and freshly-built. Kyungsoo catches sight of a few designs that intrigue him and a few that make him cringe, but for the most part they're unobjectionable and unmemorable. It's into the driveway of one of these unmemorable houses that Junmyeon turns into, and the preparations to brave the walk to the door remind Kyungsoo of something.
"Oh, hang on," he says, pulling out his phone. "I have to let Sehun know where I am."
Junmyeon makes a small, noncommittal noise while he leans over the divider into the backseat in search of an umbrella.
Kyungsoo dials Sehun's cell, hoping he's not interrupting at a crucial moment, and is greeted with something muffled that sounds something like, "Mwth mp?"
"Sehun?" he checks.
"Yeah. What's up?" Sehun says, more clearly this time.
Junmyeon has found an umbrella and the rain gets louder when he opens the car door to unfurl it.
"Hi," Kyungsoo says, trying to hold the phone closer and gather his belongings all at once. "I won't be back until late."
"Why?"
Sehun sounds suspicious, the frown audible in his voice. Kyungsoo resists the urge to frown back, instead slinging his bag over his shoulder and taking a deep breath before he throws the car door open.
"It's raining too hard to drive," he explains. "Cars are pulled over all along the road and visibility is really bad."
He dives under the umbrella Junmyeon is holding at the ready. It's a bit small for the two of them, so half of Kyungsoo's shirt is drenched in the few seconds it takes to push the door shut.
"We were on our way back from the meeting when it hit, so we got caught on the road," Kyungsoo continues.
There's some shuffling on the other end before Sehun answers. "So what are you doing now?"
"Well," Kyungsoo can tell this isn't going to go over well even before he says it. "Junmyeon's place is really close, so I think we're just going to stay put here until it clears up."
There's a long silence on the other end. Kyungsoo takes shelter under the edge of the small porch while Junmyeon unlocks the front door. A crack of lightning sounds just close enough to make Kyungsoo start, and Junmyeon looks over to make sure he's alright. Kyungsoo just smiles and nods before listening at the phone again.
“Are you painting the storm right now?” he asks, having gotten no answer. “It’s a really good one."
He kicks off his shoes inside the door, signaling silently at Junmyeon to give him a second.
"I should get off and let you get back to work," he says, resigned to the obstinate silence on the other end. "I’ll see you later, okay? I don't know how long it'll last, so you don't have to wait up."
"Yes," Sehun finally answers. "Yes, I'm painting. I'll stay up. I'll- yes."
There's something desperate about his voice that Kyungsoo isn't sure how to address.
"Don't worry about it," he says, as soothingly as he can. "Just concentrate on painting and get some rest."
"Okay," Sehun doesn't sound soothed at all. "Okay. I'll see you when you get back. I'll stay up."
Kyungsoo hangs up with a quiet "bye". He's somewhat torn between the desire to make his way home to wrap Sehun into his arms and reassure him, storm or no storm, and exasperation that reassurance seems to be necessary in the first place. He knows that when Sehun stops to think, he'll realize that it would be stupid for Kyungsoo to continue home on roads like these, but it irks him just a little bit that Sehun so resents his time in Junmyeon's presence because of a failed first impression. It's these thoughts that settle him into Junmyeon's upholstered sofa, fully determined to wait the storm out to its end.
Junmyeon's taste in wine wasn't just a one-off chance success with the bottle he'd brought to dinner, Kyungsoo discovers, and they settle into comfortable conversation before too long. Outside of work, Junmyeon is more prone to terrible jokes and embarrassed smiles, but is no less competent or in control, and even manages to carry off his merely passable culinary skills with good humor and aplomb. He won't even hear of letting Kyungsoo take over since "the guest shouldn't have to do any of the work," so Kyungsoo ends up standing against the stove and chatting while the food heats. The longer they talk, though, the harder it becomes to stay on neutral topics, especially since any descriptions or stories about his life inevitably involve Sehun. Junmyeon seems to be trying to push into this dangerous conversational territory, but Kyungsoo refuses to get into an argument with him, and is grateful when Junmyeon appears to catch the hint before any awkwardness ensues. By the time they sit down to eat, Kyungsoo is pretty sure he could have eaten a horse.
"This is actually pretty good," he says. "I was worried for a while, watching you there."
"I know, I know," Junmyeon laughs, "You're much better."
"I wasn't going to say that!" Kyungsoo protests, but he's laughing too.
"I may only know how to make two dishes in the world, but I like to think I'm pretty good at those two. Your dinner was a bright spot in my otherwise monotonous culinary life."
Junmyeon's tone is facetious, but still something about the way he says it suggests that he's pointedly leaving certain other things about that night unsaid. Kyungsoo is under no illusions as to what those things are. Unflattering comments about Sehun are hovering on the tip of Junmyeon's tongue, and Kyungsoo tries to think of a way to safely change the topic.
"I could teach you how to make something else sometime?" he suggests. He immediately cringes at how familiar it sounds.
"Something tells me your boyfriend might not like that," Junmyeon says, broaching the very topic Kyungsoo's been trying to deflect.
He stresses the "boy" ever so slightly, which prompts Kyungsoo to come to Sehun's defense. Junmyeon seems uninclined to listen to any excuses Kyungsoo can make, and it's like deja vu as Kyungsoo has visions of failed attempts to argue with a similarly stubborn-minded Sehun.
"I looked him up, you know," continues Junmyeon. "After that night? I know what rent costs in that part of town, and there's no way he's making enough to even make up a quarter of that."
"If you're going to try and convince me that Sehun is using me for my wallet, you're not going to find much success."
"I'm just saying, it doesn't seem fair."
"It doesn't balance like a checkbook," Kyungsoo frowns at the wall. "That's not how it works, and you know it."
"Even so," Junmyeon argues, "You can't tell me it's fair when you leave work tired every night and every invitation I extend is turned down because 'Sehun needs something'. Is he so terribly busy that he has to send you to run all his errands for him?"
"We're not all lucky enough to have dreams that keep office hours," Kyungsoo counters.
"Even dreams have to take other people into account," says Junmyeon. "Nothing I saw that night convinced me that he ever takes your time into account."
The unfair accusation makes Kyungsoo's voice rise as he stands up from the table.
"Maybe you shouldn't pass judgements without having all the facts," he snaps.
"Maybe you shouldn't shut down a discussion just because you're afraid I'm right," Junmyeon counters just as sharply.
Kyungsoo is about ready to storm out, even though the rain is still pouring in steady buckets. The worst part is that he can't even dismiss everything Junmyeon has said, since he's been frustrated with Sehun for these very things not that long ago. It's not that he believes Sehun capable of using him or knowingly taking advantage of his resources, but it would be a lie to say that Kyungsoo never resents always having to be the driving force in their relationship, with the burden of all decisions inevitably falling on his shoulders. Still, no matter what his own feelings may be, Junmyeon has no right to say it. Junmyeon catches up to him at the door back into the living room, stopping him with a hand on Kyungsoo's arm.
"I'm sorry," he says.
Another thing. Sehun is never so free and open in his apologies. Kyungsoo looks, but there's nothing to show that Junmyeon is anything other than sincere. His anger doesn't immediately vanish, but it's not in Kyungsoo's nature to refuse an apology. He knows he won't hold a grudge, and regrets losing his temper quite so quickly with someone who is technically his superior, and definitely his friend. Junmyeon takes a breath.
"Maybe it's not my place-"
"It's not," Kyungsoo cuts in, but quietly.
"-but it's hard for me."
Junmyeon stops and looks at his hand on Kyungsoo's arm rather than looking him in the eye.
"It's hard to see you always on the clock," he goes on. "I know I've thrown a lot at you recently, and I truly admire how hard you've worked to adapt to everything. It's just hard to see you leave every night after all that to go dance attendance on someone I'm afraid doesn't appreciate it."
Clearly they don't agree on that last point, but-
"Why do you care?" Kyungsoo asks quietly.
Junmyeon really does look nervous then. The hand on Kyungsoo's arm trembles, and Kyungsoo wants to take it between his own until it calms.
"Even if you can't see what I mean, I know you can't have missed this," Junmyeon says, and oh, Sehun had been right to be jealous.
Junmyeon takes control of a kiss just as easily as he takes control of any situation. He takes whatever feedback Kyungsoo gives him and moves swiftly to meet it. When Kyungsoo sways slightly, Junmyeon guides him to the doorframe, leaving an arm there to support. No burden of decision left to Kyungsoo, no need to be the one who knows what he's doing. But Kyungsoo does know what he's doing. Junmyeon has left him room to move away, an escape route that he should take, and yet it's hard to. The feeling of simply being the one along for the ride is one Kyungsoo hasn't felt in years. It's relaxing and so, so easy to just let it happen. To let it go on for just a moment more. It can never happen again, he knows, shouldn't happen again, while at the time he's stuck with the growing knowledge that he'd like it to.
I can never tell Sehun, Kyungsoo thinks sadly, I can't. It would break his heart.
The guilt he feels then is one that he'll come to know well in the weeks to come.
Junmyeon
3,102 words
Junmyeon doesn't mean to fall for the company's newest employee. It just seems to happen, and by the time he realizes what's going on, Do Kyungsoo has wedged himself so firmly into Junmyeon's affections that there seems to be no way of removing him, short of cardiac amputation. It's not surprising that he watches Kyungsoo, considering how he's meant to guide him through his adjustment period, but he realizes early on that the focus of his attention has shifted in a way no new mentee, no new intern, has inspired in the past.
Kyungsoo is competent, which immediately earns Junmyeon's admiration. He's quick to learn and efficient. They had done well in hiring him. Junmyeon had been part of the interview process, where his first impression had been that Kyungsoo did not interview well. The others had certainly found his tendency to stare and give monosyllabic answers unsettling, but that was what Junmyeon was there for, after all. Before long he had seen Kyungsoo relax enough to sell himself quite creditably, and even slip in a joke or two which had Junmyeon choking on his bottled water while going over the heads of his fellow interviewers. Not outgoing and exuberant by any means, but clearly not at all dull. The final nail that had secured Junmyeon's decision was when he saw the papers in Kyungsoo's hands shake only when he was at the door to leave. He had looked both incredibly young and incredibly controlled, and Junmyeon's gut had told him that there was something important here.
He thinks now that his heart had also told him something that he wouldn't hear for a while yet.
When he shows up to work on the first day, Kyungsoo is still quiet, determinedly taking notes on everything Junmyeon tells him. It's clear that there's going to be no huge 180 here, but it's still counted a victory when Junmyeon gets him to crack another sly joke before the end of the day. He seems surprised when Junmyeon laughs, like he expected his somewhat snarky jab to go unnoticed, and while his smile doesn't get any bigger when Junmyeon tells him he doesn't mind, it does appear more comfortable. It suits him, Junmyeon thinks. It's quiet and would almost go unnoticed to someone who wasn't watching for it. It's his job to watch for it though, Junmyeon supposes, just like it's his job to anticipate Kyungsoo's questions before they arise and to dispel his nerves before they surface. It's probably not his job to invite him out for a drink that night, but Junmyeon can chalk that up to just how addicting pulling those little smiles out of Kyungsoo is turning out to be. At any rate, Kyungsoo turns him down, saying ruefully that he "has to get home and feed Sehun".
Huh, Junmyeon thinks. He never mentioned having a cat.
Sehun, Junmyeon learns, is not a cat. Or a dog. He is a person, one whom Kyungsoo describes in the fond way someone might describe a toddler. Kyungsoo talks more on his second day, though that's not a tall order to fill, considering he hadn't exactly been loquacious the day before. Still, Junmyeon learns that he's been living in the area since he left school, he's been taking individual building commissions and living off the proceeds until the next one comes along, and that he had wanted to join the company as a means of acquiring a predictable paycheck. He also learns that Sehun, whoever Sehun is, likes to spend hours playing Far Cry 3, doesn't like doing the laundry or when Kyungsoo leaves the radio playing at sub-deafening volumes in the background, and is nearly incapable of preparing any food that isn't prepackaged. Junmyeon wonders for a moment if Kyungsoo perhaps has a kid from a previous relationship before deciding that, no, he's probably too young and also that this is not workplace-appropriate pondering.
"Must get kind of boring eating microwave-ready food," Junmyeon remarks as they walk down the hall.
"I think Sehun would eat cardboard if provided enough ramyun flavoring to go with it," laughs Kyungsoo. "And I cook dinner when I'm at home, so at least we both get one real meal a day. Oh, and that reminds me... I have to get to the store on my way home tonight."
When he pulls out his phone to leave himself a reminder, Junmyeon finds himself staring at the unconscious crease between Kyungsoo’s eyebrows.
"I guess that means if I tried renewing my invitation to drinks, I'd get turned down again," he says, ignoring how he suddenly wants to rub that crease away with his fingers. This is also not workplace-appropriate.
Junmyeon is becoming increasingly aware that many of his thoughts where Kyungsoo is concerned are not purely impersonal office associate thoughts.
"Sorry," Kyungsoo apologizes, "I've left a lot of errands way too long now."
It certainly seems like a long list he's making. Junmyeon thinks Kyungsoo deliberately clears the frown lingering on his lips (that Junmyeon's definitely not supposed to notice) when he returns the phone to his pocket and smiles slightly over at Junmyeon.
"But if you'd like to come over for dinner tomorrow night, I'd like to thank you for all your help," Kyungsoo continues. "I'll be in charge of cooking, so nothing microwavable."
Junmyeon protests half-heartedly that oh, no, that's not necessary at all, but allows Kyungsoo to convince him rather quickly.
"Besides," says Kyungsoo, "This way you can meet Sehun too."
This prospect doesn't have Junmyeon as thrilled as he thinks Kyungsoo would probably like him to be, but he smiles sunnily anyway.
"I look forward to it," he says, and Kyungsoo smiles back.
The next day Kyungsoo is no less competent and efficient, but Junmyeon can tell that all the while he's running over logistics and turning over details for that night. He wants to tell Kyungsoo not to worry about it, that whatever he plans will be fine, but ends up saying nothing. Something tells him that Kyungsoo might not appreciate it. Instead, Junmyeon concentrates his energy into figuring out an appropriate gift for the host (or hosts). He realizes he knows next to nothing about Sehun, so he falls back on the old favorite - a bottle of wine. He would ask what they’re having for dinner so that he can match the wine to it, but he balks at placing any more pressure on Kyungsoo.
The heat when he leaves the office building is damp and heavy, hanging over his shoulders and making the cloth of his button-up shirt cling with every turn and gesture. He’ll have to change when he gets home and hope that he doesn’t sweat through that one too badly as well. The evening is slightly cooler, but not enough to bring relief to the lethargic city streets, and Junmyeon feels sandwiched between sluggish cars clogging up the roads as he drives towards Kyungsoo’s apartment, one eye on the street and the other on his phone’s GPS display. The worry that he’ll be late has him drumming nervously on the steering wheel and checking the rosé he’d finally settled on, currently sitting in the passenger seat next to him, to make sure it’s not getting too warm. Worse comes to worst, he’ll just ask to stick it in the freezer for a while and they won’t be able to drink it right away. Junmyeon takes a deep breath, deliberately not looking at the time as he reminds himself that being a few minutes late is not the end of the world and that no one likes a houseguest who arrives early, before the hosts are ready to receive them. He also, however, knows the importance of a first impression. His job is to make a good impression, after all, so he worries.
He walks into Kyungsoo’s living room ready to make the best damn first impression of his life - for Kyungsoo’s sake, if not his own - and walks into a blank stare set in a face several inches above his own. This is Sehun, he supposes, and his interest is piqued despite himself. Sehun’s face could not be considered welcoming, but Junmyeon has never been one to be put off by an imposing face. Usually the ones who looked the most prickly turned out to be the ones with the sweetest natures underneath, so Junmyeon continues to examine him with interest. An unexceptionable tshirt and… are those sweatpants?
Fuck. He’s overdressed.
Junmyeon can feel his eyebrows pull together slightly as he adjusts his tie unconsciously. No. No, he’s not overdressed. Kyungsoo is also wearing a dress shirt, albeit without a tie and with sleeves rolled up since he’s been in the kitchen, so Junmyeon’s wardrobe is not completely out of place. But that means... No, he's not going to make any unfavorable judgements. He smiles and holds out a hand to shake Sehun's.
"You must be Sehun," Junmyeon bows, and as he does so, catches a look leveled at his tie that makes him feel ridiculously defensive. "Nice to meet you. You're Kyungsoo's roommate?"
The air between them seems to get several degrees cooler.
"His boyfriend," Sehun is definitely frowning now.
This is a new and disconcerting development, thinks Junmyeon. Kyungsoo had mentioned nothing about having a boyfriend, though, to be fair, they've technically only been working together for three days now and Kyungsoo had spent at least one and a half of those days talking about Sehun. Junmyeon probably should have seen this coming.
"Ah, really?" he says, feeling ever so slightly wrong-footed. He's not used to feeling wrong-footed. "Kyungsoo has mentioned you a few times, but we haven't really gotten to know each other very well yet."
"How wonderful."
Sehun's meaning is perfectly clear, and Junmyeon would have to be thick not to pick up the undertones of back the fuck off in Sehun's voice. Thick, Junmyeon is not, yet his hackles still rise at Sehun's blunt tone. He sees Kyungsoo shake his head and mouth something at Sehun which goes largely ignored.
"Well," Junmyeon attempts to come to Kyungsoo's rescue by groping for a safe topic. "If you'll get glasses, maybe we can try some of the wine before dinner?"
He holds up the bottle in his hand, condensation still dripping off the side. Sehun doesn't move, instead choosing to stand and glare at Junmyeon while Kyungsoo leaves the room in a hurry. Sehun seems perfectly content to let Kyungsoo rummage around in cabinets on his own, and to let Junmyeon stand there with a bottle dripping sadly onto the rug. He looks like a petulant child, Junmyeon can't help but think. It's like an irritated seven-year-old is towering over him and glowering, which is why Junmyeon doesn't think before he speaks, seeing Kyungsoo come back into the living room with three wine glasses.
"He's old enough to drink?" he asks.
Sehun actually snatches the bottle out of his hands, carrying it over to a side table and all but ripping the foil around the cork off.
"He is. Would you care to check ID?" Sehun flings over his shoulder, wielding a corkscrew with ease.
An apology is on the tip of Junmyeon's tongue, but then he happens to catch sight of Kyungsoo's face. He looks mortified. Junmyeon is instantly irritated. He could handle a few jabs himself, but he's spent the past few days looking out for Kyungsoo and the habit is hard to break, even here, outside of the office.
Kyungsoo moves across the room, looking like he's helping Sehun with the glasses, but Junmyeon hears him whisper, "Sehun, manners."
"I'll use them if he does."
Junmyeon hears the muttered reply, and sees the frustrated look on Kyungsoo's face when he brings Junmyeon his glass. He lets his hand brush Kyungsoo's as he takes it, hoping to convey a sense of sympathy and support, but he doesn't know how well this works.
Sehun says nothing more to distress Kyungsoo, which Junmyeon can't help but be grateful for, but he spends the entire evening in a brooding slouch, eyes intent on Junmyeon like he's ready to go for his throat at the slightest provocation. The burden of conversation, then, is left to Kyungsoo and Junmyeon. They continue to talk the same way they do at work, which is perfectly friendly and lively, but the restrained professional demeanor of the office is replaced now with the thunderous presence between them in the room, and neither of them seems able to relax as completely as Junmyeon had hoped. The one remark he addresses to Sehun early on goes unanswered and, indeed, unheard, so he gives up. Kyungsoo sits next to Sehun at the table, the restraining hand on Sehun's knee not unnoticed by Junmyeon, sitting across from them. From where he sits, Kyungsoo looks for all the world like a harried parent, reigning in his misbehaving offspring. It seems glaringly unequal to Junmyeon, stuck here with growing discomfort and vexation, watching Kyungsoo running after Sehun's tempestuous moods.
When the conversation at the table hits a lull, Junmyeon makes a decision. Sehun is not going to sit at the table in sullen silence any longer if he can help it.
"So, Sehun," he says, in as warm and encouraging a voice as he can, "I realize I don't know a lot about you. What do you do for a living?"
Sehun remains staring at Junmyeon's tie for a moment, making Junmyeon once more wish for a mirror to check what's so damned fascinating about it, then seems to realize that both Junmyeon and Kyungsoo are looking at him expectantly.
"What?" he says. Junmyeon resists the urge to sigh.
"I just asked what you do for a living?" he says again.
"Oh," Sehun's brow furrows, like he's thinking. "I'm... a painter."
Finally, they're getting somewhere. Junmyeon knows nothing about art, and certainly nothing about painting, but he can be politely interested at least. It explains the casual wardrobe too. Work clothes that won't suffer too badly from wayward paint. Junmyeon would still have made more of an effort to dress up, but then again he's never had a lot of patience for careless artistic personalities either. For Kyungsoo's sake then.
"Really?" Junmyeon says. "You must have done some of the paintings in here then."
The walls around them are covered in paintings, so it seems a safe bet that Sehun is responsible for at least one of them. Sure enough, Sehun's face softens somewhat at the acknowledgement, turning to look fondly at one picture of a brick building. Junmyeon thinks it looks nice, though he has no authority to judge on any technical merits it might have.
"He's very good," Kyungsoo says. The smile he gives Sehun is proud and fond. Junmyeon clears his throat and looks back at Sehun.
"He must be, to make painting lucrative," he says. He has to admit there's something appealing about the image of the architect and the genius painter together, something that touches the secret romanticism in his soul. "I'd always heard that it's hard for even the best painters to make a living doing that, but you manage to keep an apartment like this. I'm very impressed."
He is impressed, but Sehun's face instantly falls back into his previous scowl as he looks down and stabs viciously at a leaf of salad.
"I actually have a job at a restaurant too," he says.
Ah. Not that successful then. Junmyeon isn't sure if he's disappointed or not.
"Sehun works very hard," Kyungsoo says, sounding protective, as if he's afraid Junmyeon will come back with some sort of scathing criticism.
Junmyeon is hurt. He has more tact than that, he thinks. Still, a damper has effectively been put on this topic, and the conversation doesn't quite seem to recover its earlier liveliness. Normally he might expect an evening like this to stretch out for several hours past the end of dinner, eaten up in conversation and maybe another bottle of wine, but the atmosphere in the apartment right now is not exactly convivial. Junmyeon excuses himself after a few minutes, saying that he has to be ready for work the next morning. Kyungsoo agrees, conveys his regrets that Junmyeon can't stay longer. Sehun glares.
Only Kyungsoo comes to the door to see him out, not that Junmyeon had particularly expected Sehun to get up. He can't even say anything to Kyungsoo either. Any apology he might try to make for the way the evening went would sound like he was blaming Sehun, which might be the truth, but it's hardly something he can say.
"I guess I'll see you tomorrow," Junmyeon says, retying his shoelaces.
"I guess so," agrees Kyungsoo.
Neither of them mention the third member of tonight's party, hidden from them right now where he probably sits unmoved in the living room where they'd left him. If Kyungsoo doesn't say anything, then neither can Junmyeon. He's not a close friend, he has no right. If he were something more than just a coworker, he could shrug and joke about it. He could brush it off as unimportant. The fact remains, though, that the sulky boy slumped in a chair in the other room has more of a claim to Kyungsoo's loyalty than Junmyeon does. No matter how surlish, how outright rude Sehun had been, no matter how he acted or acts, Junmyeon is a coworker. That's all.
"See you."
The half-hug Kyungsoo gives him now is no different from the one he'd given when Junmyeon had first walked in, but now Junmyeon knows.
He can't say anything about Sehun, but that doesn't mean he doesn't want to. Junmyeon can't say how much he hates seeing Kyungsoo bend over backwards to cater to a childish whim and an inexplicable bad mood. Sehun can dislike Junmyeon all he wants, but he had made Kyungsoo worry and, what's worse, he hadn't even seemed to notice. Junmyeon wants to say all these things, wants to let Kyungsoo know that he had noticed, but he can't. It's not his place to offer comfort, or to wrap Kyungsoo in his arms and tell him he doesn't have to worry. He's worked alongside Kyungsoo for only three days, but the realization that he wants to do all these things is still there. He's not content to just be a coworker to Kyungsoo from now on, just someone he works with.
Junmyeon doesn't think that will ever be enough for him.