Under Pressure
So it's been ages since I last updated. Hurrah hurrah. Sorry about that. But there simply was no time in between studying for the Bar (again) and actually taking the fucking Bar (again). And since it's been about two months, I think it's safe to say that I've settled back into the office/firm life and can start blogging about it.
Which, shitty, right about now.
Let me start off by stating that I work in a great firm. One of the things they promised me was a work-life balance which was a foreign concept to most law firms. And so far they'd been able to deliver on that promise. I can still go out on weekends. Yay. And I earn just about enough to keep me happy.
Except that part of why I love my firm is that I've grown to see the people in it as my family. And in the past year, all my closest friends have either left the firm or are planning on leaving, and I just. I plainly can't see myself enjoying going to work if i'm just going in to work. Do you get me?
So that's one of the things that's bumming me out right now. It's that pretty soon, I know I'll possibly leave my firm. Because it hasn't been kind to my friends :(
Another thing that's been bumming me out is my salary. I mean, it's fine, but I just found out that there are people out there who do less than me but earn at least 10k more than me per month. Like what. I should've just quit and started working for the fucking government ages ago. Especially with the wage hike that's upcoming. Fuck this.
I wasn't going to be unhappy. I was supposed to be grateful. For this opportunity, for still having a job, for being able to find and keep my job despite my Bar failings. But right now, I just feel angry.
Because I deserve fucking better. I deserve better than to lose my friends. Or to not get a raise on my pay just because I haven't fucking passed the fucking bar. I deserve to have passed that Bar. a;dlkfja;sdlkjf;alskdjfowieuproiejf;lkand;lvkja
Bottomline is, I need to fucking pass the bar. That way I'll know for sure if this is what I'm meant to do, and this is where I'm meant to be. I need to pass the fucking Bar.
Which, shitty, right about now.
Let me start off by stating that I work in a great firm. One of the things they promised me was a work-life balance which was a foreign concept to most law firms. And so far they'd been able to deliver on that promise. I can still go out on weekends. Yay. And I earn just about enough to keep me happy.
Except that part of why I love my firm is that I've grown to see the people in it as my family. And in the past year, all my closest friends have either left the firm or are planning on leaving, and I just. I plainly can't see myself enjoying going to work if i'm just going in to work. Do you get me?
So that's one of the things that's bumming me out right now. It's that pretty soon, I know I'll possibly leave my firm. Because it hasn't been kind to my friends :(
Another thing that's been bumming me out is my salary. I mean, it's fine, but I just found out that there are people out there who do less than me but earn at least 10k more than me per month. Like what. I should've just quit and started working for the fucking government ages ago. Especially with the wage hike that's upcoming. Fuck this.
I wasn't going to be unhappy. I was supposed to be grateful. For this opportunity, for still having a job, for being able to find and keep my job despite my Bar failings. But right now, I just feel angry.
Because I deserve fucking better. I deserve better than to lose my friends. Or to not get a raise on my pay just because I haven't fucking passed the fucking bar. I deserve to have passed that Bar. a;dlkfja;sdlkjf;alskdjfowieuproiejf;lkand;lvkja
Bottomline is, I need to fucking pass the bar. That way I'll know for sure if this is what I'm meant to do, and this is where I'm meant to be. I need to pass the fucking Bar.