Rebels (World According to Jordan)
Can't you see I'm rebelling for the sake of rebelling. I'm not bought in to any sort of self-righteous swelling. I have fallen like the tree I'm felling (or more like my career). I try to work, but I'm not cleared to. Not medically or in my mind. Not even partially; I'm on my grind. That time when my eyes are open, but the only thing I see are fears. That magic hour when I'm the only one that sees the real me. Precipice in front and wolves behind. I keep saying how one day I'll have to atone for my crimes. Little do they know, I've made a prison for myself in my own mind. Don't know why I keep punishing myself for things I haven't committed yet. Words worth recognizing all seem to sound the same. Maybe I should word map them all just to see what I'm saying. Too meta for Mephistopheles. Maybe if I keep saying it, then I'll start to believe. Waiting on me now? I want everything and I want it right fucking now! Guess that's what I get if I can't even get even with myself. Fighting battles wth my past and I think it's winning. Future me can't even get a shot or a breath or a rest or a breast. Chicken wing, leg, or thigh why oh why do I always struggle with a hunger. Guess it will be with me until I die. Morality is mortality and I'm exhibiting mortal tendencies. Dependencies depend on unrelenting motivations and ends. Convictions without shaking fists are really just dreams with conniption fits. I can't be spending emotional currency when I only have a limited number of friends. I have spins that get me closer to him. Whirling meditation that helps me find my inner sin and simpleton. I make bargains and lust for pardons for things that sound like jargon but really ride hard on my heart. It's my form of art that starts a redemption kiss part. I get carved with bars and scars from afar. I can't bear witness to inequalities, injustices, and inefficiencies whilst still holding my tongue. I'll do the deed. You know, the one that needs to be done. It's been a good run; been at it for years. I've done a lot of running now I'm facing these fears. The fears of being left out, the fears of self doubt, the fears of insanity and realizing that the only sane one is me. The bridge that I burned; that's for me too. That nick on the glass, that pain in your ass, that rock in your boot, that chip in your tooth. That's me; that's me; that's me on the loose. The world according to Jordan; enter my truth!