hack journalism and dentistry
so i just got back from a dinner date to the olive garden with my mommy.
it was nice.
first i went to the dentist where there was more blood than ever before (bastards), a little scolding and the promise of another go in about a year.
also someone said something about wisdom teeth...
at dinner with my mom we talked about being professional writers.
i told her to go for it and also get in the new yorker... she's thinking more like redbook...
then i told her to forget agents and just be brilliant.
we agreed on this as a plan.
also, we both decided that we tell fabulous stories... as anyone who i've been around this summer, or ever, will attest to.
that is, they will tell you that i think that i tell fabulous stories, and subject them to said anticdotes incessantly.
personally, i think my mom tells a story like 'a drop of food coloring in a gallon of water' (i said that at the time, she told me to write it down) by that i meant that she wanders so far away from the point we forget what the point/story/day is.
example: she was telling me about how she and my dad meant (i got his version of the story: my roomate wanted to meet a girl, she had a friend, it was your mom, we played ping pong and i proposed) my mom told the story and ended up talking about what a harvey wallbanger is and how my dad liked orange juice and slideshows....
two stories from work that i want to remember (feel free to pass over):
i have an amazing boss, his name is tou, his sister owns the shop where i make sandwhiches.
we play a game like the price is right where we guess how many units we sell between noon and two. closest without going over... it's awesome. yesterday, i won a cookie. (that was not a good story, but someday, it might be a good shortstory/essay)
tou and i got into an argument over why ice floats and conservation of mass. i'm right. but we took time from our day to do a sience experiment... it is still in progress and the results do not support my assertion, so i will likely go online and find articles to back myself up... i'm a nerd. but i hate to be proven wrong when i'm right and i like haveing proof. (also not a good story, but i just finished a book by david sedaris and i want to be him when i grow up... read his books.)
so i told my mom those during dinner, they were funny, i swear.
then we talked about her quitting her job and writing for a local paper, like the tribune.
she propsed that she could be a great hack journalist.... i agree.
my mom has spent most of her life in library siences... which means she looks things up. she finds facts and dogely persues them.... for example, a reporter from kare11 who was on the floor of the convention in boston screwed up. (she called Reagan's son, a junior. while he does have the same first and last name, his middle name is different, which mean's it would be incorrect to call him ron jr... which is why our W. is not George junior, though George II may be fitting...) anyway, she wrote an angry email to the news station offering to fact check their scripts for them so they don't 'make asses of themselves'.... i think she should get the job.
she then told me that no one wants to 'hire a bitch' but then we decided they needed to because they're damn reporters are failures... i think she should write for the daily show.
that's all for now,
take care and leave me comments....
love,
david.
it was nice.
first i went to the dentist where there was more blood than ever before (bastards), a little scolding and the promise of another go in about a year.
also someone said something about wisdom teeth...
at dinner with my mom we talked about being professional writers.
i told her to go for it and also get in the new yorker... she's thinking more like redbook...
then i told her to forget agents and just be brilliant.
we agreed on this as a plan.
also, we both decided that we tell fabulous stories... as anyone who i've been around this summer, or ever, will attest to.
that is, they will tell you that i think that i tell fabulous stories, and subject them to said anticdotes incessantly.
personally, i think my mom tells a story like 'a drop of food coloring in a gallon of water' (i said that at the time, she told me to write it down) by that i meant that she wanders so far away from the point we forget what the point/story/day is.
example: she was telling me about how she and my dad meant (i got his version of the story: my roomate wanted to meet a girl, she had a friend, it was your mom, we played ping pong and i proposed) my mom told the story and ended up talking about what a harvey wallbanger is and how my dad liked orange juice and slideshows....
two stories from work that i want to remember (feel free to pass over):
i have an amazing boss, his name is tou, his sister owns the shop where i make sandwhiches.
we play a game like the price is right where we guess how many units we sell between noon and two. closest without going over... it's awesome. yesterday, i won a cookie. (that was not a good story, but someday, it might be a good shortstory/essay)
tou and i got into an argument over why ice floats and conservation of mass. i'm right. but we took time from our day to do a sience experiment... it is still in progress and the results do not support my assertion, so i will likely go online and find articles to back myself up... i'm a nerd. but i hate to be proven wrong when i'm right and i like haveing proof. (also not a good story, but i just finished a book by david sedaris and i want to be him when i grow up... read his books.)
so i told my mom those during dinner, they were funny, i swear.
then we talked about her quitting her job and writing for a local paper, like the tribune.
she propsed that she could be a great hack journalist.... i agree.
my mom has spent most of her life in library siences... which means she looks things up. she finds facts and dogely persues them.... for example, a reporter from kare11 who was on the floor of the convention in boston screwed up. (she called Reagan's son, a junior. while he does have the same first and last name, his middle name is different, which mean's it would be incorrect to call him ron jr... which is why our W. is not George junior, though George II may be fitting...) anyway, she wrote an angry email to the news station offering to fact check their scripts for them so they don't 'make asses of themselves'.... i think she should get the job.
she then told me that no one wants to 'hire a bitch' but then we decided they needed to because they're damn reporters are failures... i think she should write for the daily show.
that's all for now,
take care and leave me comments....
love,
david.