[one-shot] It all started with a call.
Author: B
Genre: angst
Rating: NC-13
Pairing: JunBa
Disclaimer: only the story is mine.
Summary: Why he wouldn’t realize that he was better? Why it wasn’t possible? And, why he couldn’t stop hurting himself like that?
a/n: this is just a little something I wrote for K (reason why it's not a sakuraiba fic LOL) And because I'm lazy and some other random reasons, for now it won't be crossposted... now I wonder if anybody will read it O.o Anyway, if somebody reads it: it's not beta-ed.
It all started with a call.
“Hey, Jun-kun, can I stay over today?”
“Su-sure, Aiba… what’s wrong?”
“Sho… he… broke up with me.”
Jun couldn’t explain the mixed feelings he had felt inside at the moment Aiba called him. His broken voice brought his soul to pieces, but he couldn’t help but to think that now that Aiba was free, he was the first one he was coming to.
He hadn’t brought himself to tell the other in all this time they’ve known each other, but he had been in love with Aiba since the first time they met, even before the other started to date that Sakurai. He had thought countless times about confessing, but stopped himself afraid of losing Aiba. At least this way, he could be his friend, he could be with him. He knew the other wouldn’t leave Sho for him, and he wasn’t expecting them to break up. But now Aiba was coming to his place after being dumped, and Jun still wasn’t sure how should he feel about it.
Half an hour after the call, Aiba appeared in his door with red eyes and traces of tears in his face, and all Jun wanted was to go and kick Sakurai for doing that to the person he loved the most. He couldn’t believe how somebody could ever dare to hurt him, and he would gladly kick whoever dared to do it.
After setting the lifeless guy in the sofa, he went to pick some cans of beer and handed one to Aiba, before starting to ask what happened.
“He… he just said he didn’t want to be with me anymore, that it’s better if we break up… I… why? What’s wrong with me, Jun?”
Aiba’s answer came back in a whisper and all Jun could do was to hug him tightly, trying to calm the other.
“There is nothing wrong with you, Masaki. He doesn’t know what he’s missing.”
Beers started to be emptied in a fast pace, losing track of time while trying to say anything that could make the other forget about his pain for a while. But it didn’t seem enough, and before he realized, he was pinned down by Aiba over the carpet of his living room.
“Wait… what…?”
“Make me forget, Jun.”
All inside Jun was screaming this was his chance, that this was what he’d been waiting for all this time. But it wasn’t correct, the other just wanted to forget, to use him to have a moment of peace from having lost the one he loved.
“You like me, I know. Make me forget, please.”
That was all he needed, he would do anything just to make the other happy. This was his opportunity, and he wouldn’t let it pass. He would prove Aiba he was the one for him, that nobody would make him as happy as him. So, without thinking it too much he reversed their positions and pinned the other down, attacking his mouth with the rage of years of contention. He could feel the other writhing under him, and he didn’t waste time to bring his hand to the other’s crotch, trying to make him hard.
After some minutes kissing and touching him, the first moan escaped from Aiba’s mouth, and Jun lifted him and directed him towards his bedroom. No, their first time together couldn’t be in the floor of his living room. He had loved him for years, it should be perfect… or as perfect as it could be.
After reaching the bedroom, he laid the other softly over the bed, while he started to take out his clothes and saw the other copying his action. He had dreamt about this for years, about being him the one touching that body… about getting inside him. Jun took his time to explore the other one, preparing him thoroughly, he couldn’t bring himself to be rough even when the other was pleading him to fuck him already. But the moment Sho’s name left his lips, was the limit for Jun. He stopped preparing him, and fucked him as he was asking him, hard, fast… His mind wasn’t working coherently, he had wanted it for so long, but it felt wrong. He was just a substitute, a pill to forget the guy he was in love with. But he would do anything for him, always.
Jun knew Aiba was close, he could feel it, so he fastened his pace stroking the other’s erection without halting his thrust. He was close too, and no longer after he came inside him, followed close by Aiba at the moan of “Sho”. It had broken Jun inside, he just wanted to cry as much as Aiba was crying at that moment, but he couldn’t, he was supposed to be there for him. And he’ll always be.
It had been 3 months already since that call, and the same ritual would happen at least twice a week. Jun knew perfectly that he was being used, but he didn’t care, he was too afraid of losing Aiba if he said no, and he still had the hope Aiba would fall for him. But every time, Aiba would reach his climax saying his name instead of “Jun”, and every time, Jun died a little inside. No matter what he did, he knew in Aiba’s heart, he would never be the same as him. But still, he let the other use him every time he needed it. Even when he knew all of that, this was the only way he could have Aiba, and he couldn’t bring himself to lose that.
That night, after the sex, Jun heard something that he wasn’t expecting.
“Why do you allow me this, Jun? Why do you let me use you?”
It came way too sudden, and Jun couldn’t stop his mouth from saying it.
“Because I love you, I love you since the first time we met.”
“But you know I don’t love you that way…”
Jun knew it, hell, he had that point clear. He didn’t need to hear it from him. Why was he asking all of that? Why couldn’t he use him until he would realize he loved him too? What was wrong with it?
“…I… I’m sorry for using you like this. I feel like the worst friend. I’m just playing with---”
“Don’t. Please, just sleep, ok? I already know all of that. I don’t need you to tell me.”
Jun got out of bed, he just couldn’t stay there calmly, he needed something to do.
“I’ll go for a cloth to clean you up.”
Aiba just hummed as an answer, and Jun left the room with no other words. His mind was flying with thoughts, hurting him till the last atom of himself. Why he wouldn’t realize that he was better? Why it wasn’t possible? And, why he couldn’t stop hurting himself like that?
Jun was still in the bathroom when he heard the door of his apartment closing, and he knew perfectly what it meant. He just let himself fall down as his emotions took control of himself. During this time, there’s been many times he had promised himself it would be the last time, that he would stop allowing it to happen. But he knew it was a lie… he knew that as soon as the other appeared in his door again, he would allow it. Because he loved him, he loved him more than it was humanly possible…
Genre: angst
Rating: NC-13
Pairing: JunBa
Disclaimer: only the story is mine.
Summary: Why he wouldn’t realize that he was better? Why it wasn’t possible? And, why he couldn’t stop hurting himself like that?
a/n: this is just a little something I wrote for K (reason why it's not a sakuraiba fic LOL) And because I'm lazy and some other random reasons, for now it won't be crossposted... now I wonder if anybody will read it O.o Anyway, if somebody reads it: it's not beta-ed.
It all started with a call.
“Hey, Jun-kun, can I stay over today?”
“Su-sure, Aiba… what’s wrong?”
“Sho… he… broke up with me.”
Jun couldn’t explain the mixed feelings he had felt inside at the moment Aiba called him. His broken voice brought his soul to pieces, but he couldn’t help but to think that now that Aiba was free, he was the first one he was coming to.
He hadn’t brought himself to tell the other in all this time they’ve known each other, but he had been in love with Aiba since the first time they met, even before the other started to date that Sakurai. He had thought countless times about confessing, but stopped himself afraid of losing Aiba. At least this way, he could be his friend, he could be with him. He knew the other wouldn’t leave Sho for him, and he wasn’t expecting them to break up. But now Aiba was coming to his place after being dumped, and Jun still wasn’t sure how should he feel about it.
Half an hour after the call, Aiba appeared in his door with red eyes and traces of tears in his face, and all Jun wanted was to go and kick Sakurai for doing that to the person he loved the most. He couldn’t believe how somebody could ever dare to hurt him, and he would gladly kick whoever dared to do it.
After setting the lifeless guy in the sofa, he went to pick some cans of beer and handed one to Aiba, before starting to ask what happened.
“He… he just said he didn’t want to be with me anymore, that it’s better if we break up… I… why? What’s wrong with me, Jun?”
Aiba’s answer came back in a whisper and all Jun could do was to hug him tightly, trying to calm the other.
“There is nothing wrong with you, Masaki. He doesn’t know what he’s missing.”
Beers started to be emptied in a fast pace, losing track of time while trying to say anything that could make the other forget about his pain for a while. But it didn’t seem enough, and before he realized, he was pinned down by Aiba over the carpet of his living room.
“Wait… what…?”
“Make me forget, Jun.”
All inside Jun was screaming this was his chance, that this was what he’d been waiting for all this time. But it wasn’t correct, the other just wanted to forget, to use him to have a moment of peace from having lost the one he loved.
“You like me, I know. Make me forget, please.”
That was all he needed, he would do anything just to make the other happy. This was his opportunity, and he wouldn’t let it pass. He would prove Aiba he was the one for him, that nobody would make him as happy as him. So, without thinking it too much he reversed their positions and pinned the other down, attacking his mouth with the rage of years of contention. He could feel the other writhing under him, and he didn’t waste time to bring his hand to the other’s crotch, trying to make him hard.
After some minutes kissing and touching him, the first moan escaped from Aiba’s mouth, and Jun lifted him and directed him towards his bedroom. No, their first time together couldn’t be in the floor of his living room. He had loved him for years, it should be perfect… or as perfect as it could be.
After reaching the bedroom, he laid the other softly over the bed, while he started to take out his clothes and saw the other copying his action. He had dreamt about this for years, about being him the one touching that body… about getting inside him. Jun took his time to explore the other one, preparing him thoroughly, he couldn’t bring himself to be rough even when the other was pleading him to fuck him already. But the moment Sho’s name left his lips, was the limit for Jun. He stopped preparing him, and fucked him as he was asking him, hard, fast… His mind wasn’t working coherently, he had wanted it for so long, but it felt wrong. He was just a substitute, a pill to forget the guy he was in love with. But he would do anything for him, always.
Jun knew Aiba was close, he could feel it, so he fastened his pace stroking the other’s erection without halting his thrust. He was close too, and no longer after he came inside him, followed close by Aiba at the moan of “Sho”. It had broken Jun inside, he just wanted to cry as much as Aiba was crying at that moment, but he couldn’t, he was supposed to be there for him. And he’ll always be.
It had been 3 months already since that call, and the same ritual would happen at least twice a week. Jun knew perfectly that he was being used, but he didn’t care, he was too afraid of losing Aiba if he said no, and he still had the hope Aiba would fall for him. But every time, Aiba would reach his climax saying his name instead of “Jun”, and every time, Jun died a little inside. No matter what he did, he knew in Aiba’s heart, he would never be the same as him. But still, he let the other use him every time he needed it. Even when he knew all of that, this was the only way he could have Aiba, and he couldn’t bring himself to lose that.
That night, after the sex, Jun heard something that he wasn’t expecting.
“Why do you allow me this, Jun? Why do you let me use you?”
It came way too sudden, and Jun couldn’t stop his mouth from saying it.
“Because I love you, I love you since the first time we met.”
“But you know I don’t love you that way…”
Jun knew it, hell, he had that point clear. He didn’t need to hear it from him. Why was he asking all of that? Why couldn’t he use him until he would realize he loved him too? What was wrong with it?
“…I… I’m sorry for using you like this. I feel like the worst friend. I’m just playing with---”
“Don’t. Please, just sleep, ok? I already know all of that. I don’t need you to tell me.”
Jun got out of bed, he just couldn’t stay there calmly, he needed something to do.
“I’ll go for a cloth to clean you up.”
Aiba just hummed as an answer, and Jun left the room with no other words. His mind was flying with thoughts, hurting him till the last atom of himself. Why he wouldn’t realize that he was better? Why it wasn’t possible? And, why he couldn’t stop hurting himself like that?
Jun was still in the bathroom when he heard the door of his apartment closing, and he knew perfectly what it meant. He just let himself fall down as his emotions took control of himself. During this time, there’s been many times he had promised himself it would be the last time, that he would stop allowing it to happen. But he knew it was a lie… he knew that as soon as the other appeared in his door again, he would allow it. Because he loved him, he loved him more than it was humanly possible…