Negative Energy: Envy, Urges, Obsessions (3 of 3)
Buying the dinosaurs books was illuminating to me. Something was emerging from my brain, but I did not know what. I took the Grey School of Wizardry course on beginning paleontology. Writing the various essays helped my brain to formulate what was going on. Dealing with the issue of personal extinction, I was able to break through to my frozen emotions. By learning about dinosaurs, I was able to focus on the issues of adaptation and evolution of my life.
What I learned from this incident is to pay attention to the fire in my brain. First, I should talk about it, budget, and buy a couple of books. Then find a directed outlet which forces me to write about the topic. Like Martha of “Martha Speaks”, I can use my urges for something productive. The core issues of the dinosaurs being successful but going extinct by accident were what my brain focused on. To further my healing, I need to understand the metaphors that the brain speaks to me in.
My girlfriend has been my friend for a long time. We have had many good times together. In addition, she is a loving and gracious person. Later, I learned that she fell into financial straits. She had not saved for a rainy day, and had too much debt. Instead of feeling satisfaction at her misfortune, I felt compassion. My friend has always been thoughtful and kind to me. These days, I listen and commiserate with her.
I see covetousness as ambition on steroids. It goes beyond passion and enters the territory of emotional destructiveness. Pay attention to the feeling of wanting more, and discover what is driving it. Honor that primary feeling - feeling lonely, sad, etc, and do not try to cover it. The hard part is to give up our need for wanting things to wish away our uncomfortable feelings. Facing the original feeling honors our integrity.
Works Used:
Hartman, Tori, “Color Wisdom Workbook”, PDF from author, http://www.torihartman.com/shop/pc/home.html,
---, “Martha Speaks”, PBS Parents, http://www.pbs.org/parents/martha/index.html,
---, “The Merriam-Webster Thesaurus”, Merriam-Webster: Springfield (MA), 1989.
Sotkin, Joan, Prosperity (dollar sign for the “s”) Quick Tips, http://www.joansotkin.com/
Stanley, Thomas and William Danko, “The Millionaire Next Door”, Gallery Books: New York, 1998
What I learned from this incident is to pay attention to the fire in my brain. First, I should talk about it, budget, and buy a couple of books. Then find a directed outlet which forces me to write about the topic. Like Martha of “Martha Speaks”, I can use my urges for something productive. The core issues of the dinosaurs being successful but going extinct by accident were what my brain focused on. To further my healing, I need to understand the metaphors that the brain speaks to me in.
My girlfriend has been my friend for a long time. We have had many good times together. In addition, she is a loving and gracious person. Later, I learned that she fell into financial straits. She had not saved for a rainy day, and had too much debt. Instead of feeling satisfaction at her misfortune, I felt compassion. My friend has always been thoughtful and kind to me. These days, I listen and commiserate with her.
I see covetousness as ambition on steroids. It goes beyond passion and enters the territory of emotional destructiveness. Pay attention to the feeling of wanting more, and discover what is driving it. Honor that primary feeling - feeling lonely, sad, etc, and do not try to cover it. The hard part is to give up our need for wanting things to wish away our uncomfortable feelings. Facing the original feeling honors our integrity.
Works Used:
Hartman, Tori, “Color Wisdom Workbook”, PDF from author, http://www.torihartman.com/shop/pc/home.html,
---, “Martha Speaks”, PBS Parents, http://www.pbs.org/parents/martha/index.html,
---, “The Merriam-Webster Thesaurus”, Merriam-Webster: Springfield (MA), 1989.
Sotkin, Joan, Prosperity (dollar sign for the “s”) Quick Tips, http://www.joansotkin.com/
Stanley, Thomas and William Danko, “The Millionaire Next Door”, Gallery Books: New York, 1998