From the closet desk of one very confused intern...
The past few months have been extremely interesting. I’ve flown in helicopters, shot a gun, blown things up, and have generally gotten harassed by my “keeper” on a daily basis. Through it all, I can’t help but worry about what I am actually going to be doing with my life. I am a double major. English and Communications. But what if that is not really what I want to do? Part of me just feels as though my degree will only fill the void in time between when I graduate and have kids. I want to be a stay-at-home mom. That’s just what I feel as though I should do. I want to be there for my kids and give them all the love that they can possibly stand. I don’t think that this is wrong, but I feel as though my parents might be disappointed in me if I end up just being a homemaker.
I don’t really care about how they feel about it, but it’s still this little nagging voice inside my head, that sounds a lot like their voices, saying, “We didn’t pay all this money for you just to stay home…” Blah, blah, blah. I’ve spent my whole life trying to make them proud, and I just feel as though I’m letting them down somehow when I am striving for something that I really want. Or wasting their money.
Then I look at the market. I shiver every time I have to think about it. It scares me that I will have to try to find a job in it, plus be newly married. I’m honestly not too worried about being married to Clayton. Sure, it will be an adjustment, but I know we will make it through all right. We’ve gotten through a break-up and living 100 miles apart for 2 years.
I have always known what I have wanted to do with my life, but now I am not so sure. I think I am just rambling now.
I don’t really care about how they feel about it, but it’s still this little nagging voice inside my head, that sounds a lot like their voices, saying, “We didn’t pay all this money for you just to stay home…” Blah, blah, blah. I’ve spent my whole life trying to make them proud, and I just feel as though I’m letting them down somehow when I am striving for something that I really want. Or wasting their money.
Then I look at the market. I shiver every time I have to think about it. It scares me that I will have to try to find a job in it, plus be newly married. I’m honestly not too worried about being married to Clayton. Sure, it will be an adjustment, but I know we will make it through all right. We’ve gotten through a break-up and living 100 miles apart for 2 years.
I have always known what I have wanted to do with my life, but now I am not so sure. I think I am just rambling now.