Ask Vergence

[vergence]

Here's a Touchy Etiquette Question which I will pose to you, my readers, to try your hand at the dicey waters of the Advice Column:

Dear Mrs. Friendspage

Comments

[neo_prodigy]

I for one always loved your parties and that's the one thing I hate most about not being in Atlanta: not seeing you guys.

If I had the weekends off, I would so drive down there for your get togethers.

I would simply remove them (whoever they are) from the list. If they don't want to be there and share company with you and yours, then you're probably better off not having them there.

[vergence]

I don't want to make people feel uncomfortable or like they have to lie. And I also don't want to have to obsess about this agian next time.

[doublejoe7]

I'd let it slide this time. I wouldn't begin excluding them until it is a regular occurrence. Jack has stated reasons, that to him are valid, and I don't think there is going to be any way at this point in time to convince him otherwise. I think breaching the subject would probably just make things worse.

[vergence]

I really wish someone would have started their reply with "Dear Peeved"

I definately won't mention it again.

Well until afterwards. I see them on Sunday.

[doublejoe7]

Dear Peeved,

Next time don't refer to me as Mrs. Friendspage and maybe you'll get your wish.

Mr. Friendspage

[vergence]

Now see that's exactly the snappy no-nonsense sort of advice I come to expect from a seasoned advice columnist.

Sounds Like Social Anxiety Disorder

[walterwz]

For some reason, this seems more common these days than one would expect. If people are lacking basic social skills they will not "feel comfortable". I was just reflecting over this with a friend this past weekend. Arranging a simple "dinner and video at my place" seems really hard like arranging peace in the middle east. This was not the case back in the 80s.

I know an way too many people who are very loath to stray out of their comfort zone and this comfort zone seems to be getting smaller and smaller.

Basic suggestion though is, like with most, bad but harmless behavior, ignore it.

Re: Sounds Like Social Anxiety Disorder

[vergence]

Interesting observation.

I certainly notice this more with myself-- in that it's an effort to get out sometimes. I think technology combined with media hysteria facilitates more effective cocooning-- people prefer home theatre to the movies etc.

This friend however does not have social anxiety disorder unless it's a bizarrely situational aversion that stems from an early trauma-- he's active in organizing events, large parties and is very talkative with everyone. He also went to my friends party with little issue.

I probably will ignore it but I know I'll mention it or it will come up in conversation.

[plantyhamchuk]

Hit on him relentlessly.

[vergence]

That's your answer to everything!