You know, I'm really tired of being reverted back to six year old status all the fucking time when things don't go my parents' way. Just saying.
I hate that, too. My mom calls almost every day (I blame "empty nest syndrome"-my sister just left for college in SC and I'm still close by). She starts out innocently enough, then asks me stupid stuff- Did you mail off the electric bill, when did you last go grocery shopping, have you scooped the litter box, what did you have for dinner. Then she bitches that I didn't eat a "well balanced meal." wtf? And heaven forbid we go to eat out. That's a whole new lecture.
YUCK! It doesn't sound like you're having a good run of things lately. If I lived close by (ie not half way around the world!) I'd come and steal you away. That totally totally sucks, I hate the whole because you don't have a job thing you can do this...that reasoning grows so old so fast.
Big hugs and promise me you'll look after YOURSELF as much as possible because this much bad feeling and stress is not good. If there's anything I can do let me know.
No, it really hasn't been a good run at all. Especially added to the fact, I want to be out on my own and nothing in my life is going in that order to make it happen. A steady job, better credit, education (read: degree)...all things I don't have. So I'm stuck in idle, and I hate that. I want more.
hate the whole because you don't have a job thing you can do this...that reasoning grows so old so fast.
Oh, god does it ever. You know the fucked up part is that I would have a job if my mom hadn't made me quit it because for the month that she'd have to cart me around didn't fit into her schedule, therefore I had to quit on the spot and ruin a perfectly good reference. So I'm screwed so much right now, and it's essentially my mom's fault. I was being responsible and not driving when I was blacking out and punished for it. I'm really tired of being punished for being bright enough to know my limits.
Big hugs and promise me you'll look after YOURSELF as much as possible because this much bad feeling and stress is not good.I'll do my best
( ... )
You know what sucks internet huggage, it just isn't the same as being able to bear hug someone and promise it will evenutally get better.
Being stuck in a puddle of shit (pardon the expression) is never ever ever fun but at least this is temporary and once things start falling into place. (You're way overdue for a boat load of good things!) Life will pick up one bit at a time, it's the slowness and obvious frustration that really gnaws at you.
But seriously, if you ever need to rant or rave at someone, I'm here. I always feel better once, I've just been able to blah it all out there. I do feel sorry for the poor person on the other end because, I have a ramble habit and things tend to make little sense when I get hyper.
You're such a fantastic, amazing and strong person and you've got the weird quirkiness like me that I know you'll come out of this kicking ass. But I know that doesn't really help in the now so all I can do is offer support and these damn internet *hugs*!
Well, the effort counts though, so that's a plus. It's more than what most people offer to give me around here, meaning the people physically in my life.
I wish I was in store for some good things. I need them, but I don't see them coming soon. I just updated with my wishes, of what I really want. It's starting to really embed deep into me. Every time something good happens, there's a negative added to it. I want to be further in my life, I want to be happy, even just a little.
I'm bad about internalizing my feelings, but it comes from living in my hellish house. Emotions are weakness points, it's hard for me to just...let it out. It's not a good thing.
I have strength out the wahzoo, unfortunately it doesn't help me right now. You know? I have the strength to survive, but I want more out of life than to just survive. I deserve more.
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I hate that, too. My mom calls almost every day (I blame "empty nest syndrome"-my sister just left for college in SC and I'm still close by). She starts out innocently enough, then asks me stupid stuff- Did you mail off the electric bill, when did you last go grocery shopping, have you scooped the litter box, what did you have for dinner. Then she bitches that I didn't eat a "well balanced meal." wtf? And heaven forbid we go to eat out. That's a whole new lecture.
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Big hugs and promise me you'll look after YOURSELF as much as possible because this much bad feeling and stress is not good. If there's anything I can do let me know.
Reply
hate the whole because you don't have a job thing you can do this...that reasoning grows so old so fast.
Oh, god does it ever. You know the fucked up part is that I would have a job if my mom hadn't made me quit it because for the month that she'd have to cart me around didn't fit into her schedule, therefore I had to quit on the spot and ruin a perfectly good reference. So I'm screwed so much right now, and it's essentially my mom's fault. I was being responsible and not driving when I was blacking out and punished for it. I'm really tired of being punished for being bright enough to know my limits.
Big hugs and promise me you'll look after YOURSELF as much as possible because this much bad feeling and stress is not good.I'll do my best ( ... )
Reply
Being stuck in a puddle of shit (pardon the expression) is never ever ever fun but at least this is temporary and once things start falling into place. (You're way overdue for a boat load of good things!) Life will pick up one bit at a time, it's the slowness and obvious frustration that really gnaws at you.
But seriously, if you ever need to rant or rave at someone, I'm here. I always feel better once, I've just been able to blah it all out there. I do feel sorry for the poor person on the other end because, I have a ramble habit and things tend to make little sense when I get hyper.
You're such a fantastic, amazing and strong person and you've got the weird quirkiness like me that I know you'll come out of this kicking ass. But I know that doesn't really help in the now so all I can do is offer support and these damn internet *hugs*!
Reply
I wish I was in store for some good things. I need them, but I don't see them coming soon. I just updated with my wishes, of what I really want. It's starting to really embed deep into me. Every time something good happens, there's a negative added to it. I want to be further in my life, I want to be happy, even just a little.
I'm bad about internalizing my feelings, but it comes from living in my hellish house. Emotions are weakness points, it's hard for me to just...let it out. It's not a good thing.
I have strength out the wahzoo, unfortunately it doesn't help me right now. You know? I have the strength to survive, but I want more out of life than to just survive. I deserve more.
Reply
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