I'm laz
I was bored so I figured I'd make a list of...
Reasons I believe I'm lazy
I've considered it too much effort to chew food on more than one occasion and just willed the hunger to go away.
I'm slightly annoyed any given moment I'm not horizontal and enveloped in cushiony softness.
I've asked people to carry me to the toilet and then carry me back to the couch when I was finished even when I was not ill, high on an illicit substance or particularly close to the individual I was asking.
I've watched three infomercials back to back because the remote was across the room.
I wore track marks in the wood floors on the ground floor of my childhood home from rolling everywhere in an office chair.
I've taken a nap after a particularly vehement sneeze.
I've considered buying a goat to eat the grass in my (tiny, rowhouse) backyard but given up when I realized I'd have to scoop after it. I'm leaning towards telling the rental agency that a rare cluster of the endangered indonesian sciran beetle has taken up residence in my grass and cutting it would be illegal due to it also destroying their habitat.
I have more but my fingertips have become over-sensitive due to all this typing. I'm going to speed dial up some chinese food now.
Reasons I believe I'm lazy
I've considered it too much effort to chew food on more than one occasion and just willed the hunger to go away.
I'm slightly annoyed any given moment I'm not horizontal and enveloped in cushiony softness.
I've asked people to carry me to the toilet and then carry me back to the couch when I was finished even when I was not ill, high on an illicit substance or particularly close to the individual I was asking.
I've watched three infomercials back to back because the remote was across the room.
I wore track marks in the wood floors on the ground floor of my childhood home from rolling everywhere in an office chair.
I've taken a nap after a particularly vehement sneeze.
I've considered buying a goat to eat the grass in my (tiny, rowhouse) backyard but given up when I realized I'd have to scoop after it. I'm leaning towards telling the rental agency that a rare cluster of the endangered indonesian sciran beetle has taken up residence in my grass and cutting it would be illegal due to it also destroying their habitat.
I have more but my fingertips have become over-sensitive due to all this typing. I'm going to speed dial up some chinese food now.