Potential Opportunity of a Lifetime....Should I take it or not though remains the question....
When we last left off, I was dealing with an explosive environment and possible firing of my job over something that was beyond my control in any way shape or form. We now continue with part 2:
While I wasn’t fired for what happened; I was berated rather extremely for several weeks and I was on the verge of tears constantly. I found out at the end of January that a grant which funds me to work at the nonprofit organization I work for isn’t being renewed because the higher ups ‘forgot’ to do several key things that would’ve kept the grant going, thus my last day with them is April 30th. You have no idea how relieved I was to hear that!!! It was a huge weight of stress and despair thrown off of me and I knew I had a secure job that I was already doing in place so I wouldn’t have to worry about finances. I’m well aware that until the last day at the job from hell, I will be dealing with a lot of shit and will most likely be blamed for things beyond my control. The higher ups have even tried to ruffle feathers at the other job I’ve been working in since late last year. Thankfully, my other job is well aware of their bullshit tactics and stopped them in their tracks.
My birthday was a few days ago and while it was meh(considering how my birthdays usually go, meh is considered a good birthday in my book), I saw it as an opportunity to go to my next set of goals in life. A couple of days later, I was handed one of those goals in the form of a possible major opportunity in the self-advocacy field. In the self-advocacy field, major opportunities like the one I received are extremely rare and are usually reserved for an unexpected death or when someone retires. I found out that I’m on the short list for possible candidates who could fill several positions for several places in the self-advocacy field in the state of Missouri as several people are considering retirement in the next few years. This is a major opportunity for me for a number of reasons. For starters; most people who get offered these kinds of positions are those who have a huge name and reputation in the self-advocacy field and while I’m known on a regional standpoint, I didn’t think I was well known enough to be considered on any lists. Second; most people who get these offers are at least 10-15 years older than me in large part because there isn’t a big enough pool of younger self-advocates to fill in the gaps. I’m only 38 years old and that’s considered a young punk by most self-advocates standards(especially those in major positions). Third; I’ve always wanted to take on a major opportunity like this and Missouri would be perfect as they’re one of the strongest self-advocacy areas in the country so I wouldn’t be having to rebuild things from the ground up like I am here in North Dakota.
You would think that I would’ve immediately said yes to this one and while there’s a large part of me that wants to do that, I also have to take several other things into consideration, mostly in the form of my family and how they will take the news of me being on the short list of considerations for these positions. I did get a big surprise in that my mom is very supportive of me taking said positions should they be offered as my mom has been pretty ambiguous about this possibly happening to me in the past. My two biggest possible obstacles family wise are going to be my uncle/conservator in Minnesota and my aunt here in North Dakota. My uncle/conservator has always had a major issue with me moving anywhere as he always had full blown breakdowns whenever anyone in the family moves for any reason. I also know that there’s a fairly chance that he would slash my weekly allowance pretty significantly if he were to find out that I was on these lists for possible positions. My aunt here in North Dakota has full blown breakdowns anytime I remotely mention leaving North Dakota and I feel really bad about leaving here, even though I’ve always seen North Dakota as a stepping stone to my ultimate goals. I know my aunt has bi-polar disorder and she’s still trying to cope with the loss of her husband at the hands of her son in 2019, however, I feel like no matter what I do or say, it’s not going to end well and I’ll be stuck here forever in order to keep the few remaining fragments of the family functioning.
I also know that I’ll have to deal with the job I have now, however, I’m only contracted with them through the summer of next year and it’s only a 50/50 chance it’ll be renewed as it’s a state contract and I’m at the whims of the legislators or the state government as a whole on that one.
The possible positions themselves wouldn’t be filled until the fall of next year at the earliest as that’s the soonest anyone can retire from the positions being in need of replacement. I have until the end of the year to give them an answer as that’s when they have the finalists list sorted out and if I end up on it, I’ll need to give them an answer. I really want to take this opportunity yet I’m concerned about the fallout from my family and other things(ie the job from hell causing problems for me).
I know I don’t get opportunities like this everyday and I know if I pass on this opportunity; it’ll be years or decades before I get another one like this. I now have to juggle a number of things and I’m not sure how things are going to end, however, I do know that whatever happens; it’ll be a major life changing event for me.