(no subject)
Well, old habits die hard.
I last used this in 2007. I've never felt more compelled to write in here as I do now. I need an outlet for all the things I'm going through, because if I don't have one, I'll positively go crazy.
I know people are in control of their actions. We all make decisions at some point or another, some that are life changing, some that are minor, and some that we think are minor but are really major in the way that they will come to push us down bully-style years later.
To be honest I don't really know where I'm going with this.
I feel isolated, but its no one's fault but my own.
I still don't know how to be independent, but I crave it so much. I know the only real meaning of life is to be free; free of suffering, free of attatchment, free of desire. I think it's amazing how much we know as people and even though we KNOW better, we don't DO.
I've always had problems with taking action, and when taking action, taking action for the right reasons.
Now I have no one to prove that I can DO things to except myself. All the faith in the world from others couldn't push me to do the things that I feel compelled to. I need that faith in myself, but I don't know how to get it. I just...don't.
It's my birthday in a few days. I really want it to be a BIRTH day though. I need a new start.
How many times have we all heard that one?
Bachelorette, you fly alone now and you cry sometimes
there's nothing like it in the world
you'll go to paris on your own
just bachelorette you climb on rooftops and you bachelorette
you can turn dust into champagne
Janine
I last used this in 2007. I've never felt more compelled to write in here as I do now. I need an outlet for all the things I'm going through, because if I don't have one, I'll positively go crazy.
I know people are in control of their actions. We all make decisions at some point or another, some that are life changing, some that are minor, and some that we think are minor but are really major in the way that they will come to push us down bully-style years later.
To be honest I don't really know where I'm going with this.
I feel isolated, but its no one's fault but my own.
I still don't know how to be independent, but I crave it so much. I know the only real meaning of life is to be free; free of suffering, free of attatchment, free of desire. I think it's amazing how much we know as people and even though we KNOW better, we don't DO.
I've always had problems with taking action, and when taking action, taking action for the right reasons.
Now I have no one to prove that I can DO things to except myself. All the faith in the world from others couldn't push me to do the things that I feel compelled to. I need that faith in myself, but I don't know how to get it. I just...don't.
It's my birthday in a few days. I really want it to be a BIRTH day though. I need a new start.
How many times have we all heard that one?
Bachelorette, you fly alone now and you cry sometimes
there's nothing like it in the world
you'll go to paris on your own
just bachelorette you climb on rooftops and you bachelorette
you can turn dust into champagne
Janine