Critiques
That moment when you realize the new member in your critique group ... is a total n00b!!
We just had one of those submissions to the group. You've read them - over on Fanfiction.net? The ones whose authors don't know whether to use "there" or "their" or "your" or "you're"?
I'm ranting here, but there's nowhere else to vent - I have no idea who's following me on Facebook, and I really don't want to insult the author because I'm sure they did their best, and probably thought it was a nifty little story to boot. I figure the chances that they're following this account are slim - and if I'm wrong, well, maybe something might slap the writer in the face and make them wake up to the art of good writing.
Here's the horror show:
1. Supposedly a children's story, but written in a demeaning tone and with frequent "asides" to explain what a word meant or something about the animal characters
2. The aforementioned difficulties with grammar, which also included numerous spelling errors
3. Blatant neglect of common research techniques to the point of believing that moose might be carnivores
4. Rambling story-line that included not only the demeaning tone but preaching and over-moralizing as well
5. Using a very slight variation of a character invented by Dr. Seuss and passing it off as an original (Thidwick the Big-Hearted Moose into Thudwick the Big-Big Moose)
6. Totally gory ending with blood and body parts flying - a children's story?
7. There were three separate incidents in what was supposed to be one short story, but none was exciting enough to keep my interest, and all of them just bloody rambled on without hitting the mark
8. Wandering POV throughout
9. Uninteresting characters with little personality
10. And the lead character never changed - you read the whole blasted story and the "hero" dies without learning a blasted thing!!
My God, I had a horribly difficult time finding anything positive to say about the thing! I almost opted out of the critique, but it was their first submission to the group and I felt obligated as an officer. I ended by keeping my comments to those about basic story-telling and letting the others critique the grammar and other problems. What I really wanted to say was "Please toss this into the nearest trash can, take a basic English course, and try again!"
Have you ever had an experience where it was so difficult to remain objective? You don't want to totally destroy the poor writer, but at the same time, OMG how much worse can it get? I suppose I should be glad there wasn't a Mary Sue involved...
We just had one of those submissions to the group. You've read them - over on Fanfiction.net? The ones whose authors don't know whether to use "there" or "their" or "your" or "you're"?
I'm ranting here, but there's nowhere else to vent - I have no idea who's following me on Facebook, and I really don't want to insult the author because I'm sure they did their best, and probably thought it was a nifty little story to boot. I figure the chances that they're following this account are slim - and if I'm wrong, well, maybe something might slap the writer in the face and make them wake up to the art of good writing.
Here's the horror show:
1. Supposedly a children's story, but written in a demeaning tone and with frequent "asides" to explain what a word meant or something about the animal characters
2. The aforementioned difficulties with grammar, which also included numerous spelling errors
3. Blatant neglect of common research techniques to the point of believing that moose might be carnivores
4. Rambling story-line that included not only the demeaning tone but preaching and over-moralizing as well
5. Using a very slight variation of a character invented by Dr. Seuss and passing it off as an original (Thidwick the Big-Hearted Moose into Thudwick the Big-Big Moose)
6. Totally gory ending with blood and body parts flying - a children's story?
7. There were three separate incidents in what was supposed to be one short story, but none was exciting enough to keep my interest, and all of them just bloody rambled on without hitting the mark
8. Wandering POV throughout
9. Uninteresting characters with little personality
10. And the lead character never changed - you read the whole blasted story and the "hero" dies without learning a blasted thing!!
My God, I had a horribly difficult time finding anything positive to say about the thing! I almost opted out of the critique, but it was their first submission to the group and I felt obligated as an officer. I ended by keeping my comments to those about basic story-telling and letting the others critique the grammar and other problems. What I really wanted to say was "Please toss this into the nearest trash can, take a basic English course, and try again!"
Have you ever had an experience where it was so difficult to remain objective? You don't want to totally destroy the poor writer, but at the same time, OMG how much worse can it get? I suppose I should be glad there wasn't a Mary Sue involved...