another open post:
i haven't been posting because i've been working. things are either in slow motion or fast forward. there is no in between lately. there are moments of calm, because you just can't live your life in perpetual panic, but then. . .sometimes we slip and it happens anyway.
i'm feeling ill most of the time, but i know it's just from stress and not taking care of myself the way i should be.
when i was a teenager, i used to live my life, day by day and it was pretty unheard of to have a plan beyond the end of the week. after i finished highschool, slowly, i grew up a little and i remember one day, filling in my work schedule, that i had the next two months of my life mapped out. it just hit me all of a sudden. and it felt really good too. it was like i was finally getting my act together and i had a direction and purpose. it probably took me a lot longer to figure that out, figure myself out, than most people. or at least i feel like that. maybe everyone is screwed up and direction-less? maybe they can just hide it better?
this drama with mom being not-fired-but-no-longer-paid [which is illegal.] and lawyers and union workers and dad being so uncertain of his job because he works in the automotive industry. . . it's taken all my direction and plans and everything away from me. i am back to living day by day, just to see what happens. i feel like i'm having a panic attack every time the stupid phone rings.
if we can just make enough money to hold on for a few months then dad will be back to work and we will every so slowly, get back on our feet. but we can't even make plans like that. right now, all i can focus on is making enough money to help my family. and time is running out and i still don't have the money. not all of it. it's like the end is there, i can see it, but i can't quiet reach it.
story of my life.
i'm feeling pathetic about this, at this point, but i'm going to keep posting my donate button until the bitter end. i will never be able to thank those who have donated enough. in all seriousness, everything you have done for me, for my family and pets, is incredible. you really are saving a home, our home, with your help. you are all awesome.
if you haven't yet but would like to help, here's the way:
i'm feeling ill most of the time, but i know it's just from stress and not taking care of myself the way i should be.
when i was a teenager, i used to live my life, day by day and it was pretty unheard of to have a plan beyond the end of the week. after i finished highschool, slowly, i grew up a little and i remember one day, filling in my work schedule, that i had the next two months of my life mapped out. it just hit me all of a sudden. and it felt really good too. it was like i was finally getting my act together and i had a direction and purpose. it probably took me a lot longer to figure that out, figure myself out, than most people. or at least i feel like that. maybe everyone is screwed up and direction-less? maybe they can just hide it better?
this drama with mom being not-fired-but-no-longer-paid [which is illegal.] and lawyers and union workers and dad being so uncertain of his job because he works in the automotive industry. . . it's taken all my direction and plans and everything away from me. i am back to living day by day, just to see what happens. i feel like i'm having a panic attack every time the stupid phone rings.
if we can just make enough money to hold on for a few months then dad will be back to work and we will every so slowly, get back on our feet. but we can't even make plans like that. right now, all i can focus on is making enough money to help my family. and time is running out and i still don't have the money. not all of it. it's like the end is there, i can see it, but i can't quiet reach it.
story of my life.
i'm feeling pathetic about this, at this point, but i'm going to keep posting my donate button until the bitter end. i will never be able to thank those who have donated enough. in all seriousness, everything you have done for me, for my family and pets, is incredible. you really are saving a home, our home, with your help. you are all awesome.
if you haven't yet but would like to help, here's the way: