(no subject)
I did the math this morning and it does not look good. But then, the optimism is there, the hope.
I finally set a real moving date and now all that's left is this strange, tangled feeling in my gut. It's not a bad one really just a very nondescript kind of feeling. How far I have come.
I know that this is an important decision to make in my life- going back to school, moving. There are things here that have grown, things that I did not plan for that feel important. No, I would never stay for him. But right now the job and the climbing and the apartment and the situation feels alright. I don't want to go shaking up a perfectly good thing but I'm scared of what might happen if I stay. The decision was made entirely on my own. I went back and forth and now have come to a conclusion and sometimes it feels hollow and terrifying. I know that if I wait for it to feel right I will never make it happen.
I choose, instead, to jump. Please let this parachute hold.
I finally set a real moving date and now all that's left is this strange, tangled feeling in my gut. It's not a bad one really just a very nondescript kind of feeling. How far I have come.
I know that this is an important decision to make in my life- going back to school, moving. There are things here that have grown, things that I did not plan for that feel important. No, I would never stay for him. But right now the job and the climbing and the apartment and the situation feels alright. I don't want to go shaking up a perfectly good thing but I'm scared of what might happen if I stay. The decision was made entirely on my own. I went back and forth and now have come to a conclusion and sometimes it feels hollow and terrifying. I know that if I wait for it to feel right I will never make it happen.
I choose, instead, to jump. Please let this parachute hold.