Calling on God
Well, I have recently recieved some news that nearly broke my heart into a million pieces. My love, the one and only man I want to ever be with, my sunshine, my reason for waking up in the morning, my baby Jeff is going to be working in Richmond for a while. This could either be the best thing for our relationsip or the worst thing. It could be the best simply because he'll be making a lot of money and he'll be able to get things finalized A LOT sooner which would be PERFECT a real dream come true, or it could be the worst because we could really grow apart. Me and Jeff had a true heart to heart conversation Saturday night which truly meant a lot to me because a lot of stuff was said that's been needed to come out. Jeff told me he loves me and that it comes directly from his heart, he also told me he was in love with me which is completly different from loving me so I have the best of both worlds with the whole love thing. To hear him tell me he loved me felt amazing, I've been waiting to hear that for a while now. We talked about his time in Richmond and how things shouldn't change in our relationship much because we'll still get to talk and see each other a couple times a month which is good. He also promised me, PROMISED me he was coming back to me so we can be together. He said once everything with Pam is finalized we'd go on real dates and have a real relationsip like we've always wanted. God, do you know how different that will be. I can't wait, I know it's goin to be a long waiting process but shit, I love him so much, I'm so in love with him. I never thought I would be able to feel this way about someone after me and Mike had our breakup but the funny thing is, I love Jeff more than I ever loved Mike. It's not that I didn't love Mike I did, and he still has a place in my heart but it's a different kind of love. I'm in love with Jeff, I want to spend everyday with him, I want to turn over every night and be able to touch him while I'm sleeping and I so long for the day that that will happen. I pray it will be soon. I now have a plea to make to God.
God,
God, right now I'm begging you to help me. I need someone to keep my heart strong through the next couple of months in mine and Jeff's relationship. I know you don't approve of what we have but I'm begging you not to take the man I love away from me. Please don't take him away and break my heart. I want to feel him next to me in the future, I want to hear his whispers in my ear while he tells me he loves me. I want him to hold me when I'm crying. I want to be the woman he looks forward to seeing after work everyday. I want to be the one he grows old with. I've never loved anyone the way and as much as I love him. My heart breaks everytime I have to tell him goodbye. I don't want him to leave me, I don't want him to go away. Please let him keep his promise to me about coming back to me. Please let him be telling me the truth about loving me. God, I'm begging you to make this dream come true for me. I know our relationship has started off completly the wrong way and there were so many other ways for us to do this but God, please let this happen for me. I want him, I want him in my life, I want him forever. I want to be the girl he wakeds up to in the mornings, I want to be the girls he holds at night while he's sleeping. I want to be the mother of his childrem. I want to show him how much one person can love another, I want to be his life, his world, I want to be the only girl he ever dreams of being with. God, I'm asking you to help me make it through the tuff times and help him see we are meant to be together. I'm asking you to show me you love me and give me the man I want to spend my life with, the one I want to share my smiles with. I want him because he warms my heart and makes me feel beautiful. God, he makes me feel so beautiful. I've never felt so good as much as I do when I'm with him. Please god, I'm asking you to do this. I know it's a really selfish thing of me to ask for, but I'm never selfish when I ask for things from you. I always ask for other to be happy well, I'm now asking for you to help me be happy. Give me the man I'm in love with and who loves me back. Make things in Richmond go well for me and Jeff both, please let us keep in touch everyday while he's there and still see each other. God, please allow me to be selfish this one time. This is the one thing I want. I want to be with him and have children and he a truely, happy family. I'm sorry God for asking for such a selfish thing. Please forgive me but please grant me this selfish wich I'm asking you for. please.
Thank you.
I know that there are some of you who don't understand our relationship, much less approve of it and I'm sorry but I can't explain to you that we've fallen in love with each other. I understand we've gone about the wrong way of taking care of things but we're working on making it right. I'm just not asking for your support through the next couple of months and however long it may take for us to be together. I need all the friendship love I can get from you because it's going to be hard, I know it will but I know I'm stong enough to make it through and make our relationship work.
~~**~~**~~**JEFFREY I LOVE YOU WITH ALL OF MY HEART, MIND, AND SOUL**~~**~~**~~
God,
God, right now I'm begging you to help me. I need someone to keep my heart strong through the next couple of months in mine and Jeff's relationship. I know you don't approve of what we have but I'm begging you not to take the man I love away from me. Please don't take him away and break my heart. I want to feel him next to me in the future, I want to hear his whispers in my ear while he tells me he loves me. I want him to hold me when I'm crying. I want to be the woman he looks forward to seeing after work everyday. I want to be the one he grows old with. I've never loved anyone the way and as much as I love him. My heart breaks everytime I have to tell him goodbye. I don't want him to leave me, I don't want him to go away. Please let him keep his promise to me about coming back to me. Please let him be telling me the truth about loving me. God, I'm begging you to make this dream come true for me. I know our relationship has started off completly the wrong way and there were so many other ways for us to do this but God, please let this happen for me. I want him, I want him in my life, I want him forever. I want to be the girl he wakeds up to in the mornings, I want to be the girls he holds at night while he's sleeping. I want to be the mother of his childrem. I want to show him how much one person can love another, I want to be his life, his world, I want to be the only girl he ever dreams of being with. God, I'm asking you to help me make it through the tuff times and help him see we are meant to be together. I'm asking you to show me you love me and give me the man I want to spend my life with, the one I want to share my smiles with. I want him because he warms my heart and makes me feel beautiful. God, he makes me feel so beautiful. I've never felt so good as much as I do when I'm with him. Please god, I'm asking you to do this. I know it's a really selfish thing of me to ask for, but I'm never selfish when I ask for things from you. I always ask for other to be happy well, I'm now asking for you to help me be happy. Give me the man I'm in love with and who loves me back. Make things in Richmond go well for me and Jeff both, please let us keep in touch everyday while he's there and still see each other. God, please allow me to be selfish this one time. This is the one thing I want. I want to be with him and have children and he a truely, happy family. I'm sorry God for asking for such a selfish thing. Please forgive me but please grant me this selfish wich I'm asking you for. please.
Thank you.
I know that there are some of you who don't understand our relationship, much less approve of it and I'm sorry but I can't explain to you that we've fallen in love with each other. I understand we've gone about the wrong way of taking care of things but we're working on making it right. I'm just not asking for your support through the next couple of months and however long it may take for us to be together. I need all the friendship love I can get from you because it's going to be hard, I know it will but I know I'm stong enough to make it through and make our relationship work.
~~**~~**~~**JEFFREY I LOVE YOU WITH ALL OF MY HEART, MIND, AND SOUL**~~**~~**~~