I give up
God take my life from beneath me now, take me from this world of non believers and take me to a land where I won't be given up on. Get me out of this world of my own self pity and show the miracles in which you've bestowed upon others. Show me there is hope outside of this world. Show me you'll always be there for me.
Well, as it is right now, God is the only being that cares about me. With my behavior in this lifetime, I believe that this too is questionable. My parents could care less if I'm in school or 6 ft under at this point. I used to live in a world of "you can do anything", "we believe in you", and "of course you can", now I live in a world of "uh, I don't know Amie". While this is a big change I should have known it would come at some point. People have to give up at some point right? Well while it was a big change I can handle it, what I can't handle is the fact that the guy I've been seeing for about 10 months now has decided he wants to join my parents in the war against me and tell me he doesn't believe in me anymore and that he gives up on me. Now, me and him had a deal that I get in atleast one class this semester or we're going to split up because he wants me on the right track and back in school and we were going to split until I could get in school. Well, while that's a fine plan, Christmas is just around the corner, my car decided it wanted new tires lol and I can't afford everything. Well, here's the problem, I could afford school if I didn't go out to eat as much, or didn't go shopping as much. The other thing is, I'm trying, or atleast I thought I was trying, no one else of course thinks I'm trying. I just have something to say to the people who decided they don't want to believe in me anymore. Though you have taken the time to give up on me and stop believing in me when I need you the most, I just want you to know that I will never give up on you...ever. I will always believe you can do anything you put you're mind to, I will always believe you can do anything you set out to do. I will always be there for you, whether you need me to be or not, and I will never, ever give up on you when you need it the most. I will always care about what you want for yourself. I will care about the things you care about. I'll just never stop believing. If you really loved me, you'd never stop believing in me either.
With that being said I guess I have some things to give up in my life. I give up shopping, eating, friendship, love, having a good time, having people believe in me, having people care about me, having people love me, love, getting a phone call back from a friend. I give up on happiness, life, and worst of all, I give up on trying to get you to believe in me.
Aside from all of that goodness, I had a pretty good weekend. I hung out with the girls and Amanda all weekend. We went Christmas shopping and wrapped presents then we watched movies with Bryan and Harvest. Then Sunday me, amanda, and james were supposed to go to sara's house but it ended up being just Me, Sara, and Amanda because James decided he wanted to be a punk and not answer his phone all day or return a phone call, which makes me a little mad because he said he wasn't doing anything Sunday and wanted to watch the wedding video with us. Oh well. We had a great time though, got grub, watched the video, joked people, talked about New York, the Golden Girls lol...you know, the good things in life. Then Amanda went home and I went to work...It was fun while it lasted. Anyway, it's almost time to head back to work so I'm going to go shower and get ready to leave. Will update more later.
Well, as it is right now, God is the only being that cares about me. With my behavior in this lifetime, I believe that this too is questionable. My parents could care less if I'm in school or 6 ft under at this point. I used to live in a world of "you can do anything", "we believe in you", and "of course you can", now I live in a world of "uh, I don't know Amie". While this is a big change I should have known it would come at some point. People have to give up at some point right? Well while it was a big change I can handle it, what I can't handle is the fact that the guy I've been seeing for about 10 months now has decided he wants to join my parents in the war against me and tell me he doesn't believe in me anymore and that he gives up on me. Now, me and him had a deal that I get in atleast one class this semester or we're going to split up because he wants me on the right track and back in school and we were going to split until I could get in school. Well, while that's a fine plan, Christmas is just around the corner, my car decided it wanted new tires lol and I can't afford everything. Well, here's the problem, I could afford school if I didn't go out to eat as much, or didn't go shopping as much. The other thing is, I'm trying, or atleast I thought I was trying, no one else of course thinks I'm trying. I just have something to say to the people who decided they don't want to believe in me anymore. Though you have taken the time to give up on me and stop believing in me when I need you the most, I just want you to know that I will never give up on you...ever. I will always believe you can do anything you put you're mind to, I will always believe you can do anything you set out to do. I will always be there for you, whether you need me to be or not, and I will never, ever give up on you when you need it the most. I will always care about what you want for yourself. I will care about the things you care about. I'll just never stop believing. If you really loved me, you'd never stop believing in me either.
With that being said I guess I have some things to give up in my life. I give up shopping, eating, friendship, love, having a good time, having people believe in me, having people care about me, having people love me, love, getting a phone call back from a friend. I give up on happiness, life, and worst of all, I give up on trying to get you to believe in me.
Aside from all of that goodness, I had a pretty good weekend. I hung out with the girls and Amanda all weekend. We went Christmas shopping and wrapped presents then we watched movies with Bryan and Harvest. Then Sunday me, amanda, and james were supposed to go to sara's house but it ended up being just Me, Sara, and Amanda because James decided he wanted to be a punk and not answer his phone all day or return a phone call, which makes me a little mad because he said he wasn't doing anything Sunday and wanted to watch the wedding video with us. Oh well. We had a great time though, got grub, watched the video, joked people, talked about New York, the Golden Girls lol...you know, the good things in life. Then Amanda went home and I went to work...It was fun while it lasted. Anyway, it's almost time to head back to work so I'm going to go shower and get ready to leave. Will update more later.