Your Everything
Title : Your Everything
Author : velfatish
Disclaimer : do not own these boys but every single mistake such as grammar and spelling in this story is mine.
Rating : PG-13, femslash
Pairing : QMiMin/SiHanChul, work both ways.
Genre : romance,angst
Summary : You're broken when i met you and now you're whole again. That's what i think, just what i think because it's not true, you're still broken.
A/N : I've been wanting to write femslash since forever and i've even made this fic where Super Junior is SNSD but I JUST CAN'T DO IT, FLUFF, AS MUCH AS I LIKE TO READ IT, IS JUST NOT MY THING. I think i'll be writing lots of angst or one-sided story from now on unless i heard a song that can inspire me. Just like my last fic, this one is inspired by a song to; Maybe... by Kana Nishino.
I've mentioned that this is BOTH QMiMin fic and SiHanChul fic, this is how you should see it;
I; Zhoumi or Siwon
You; Kyuhyun or Hangeng
She; Sungmin or Heechul
- - -
I want all of you,
from the day before i meet you to who you are now,
so give me;
give me your everything
The first time i met you, you were broken yet beautiful.You still maintained your gracefulness, your walking posture was perfect, every single move you made caused my breath to hitched. Your eyelashes are long, fluttering beautifully as you blink your eyes elegantly, your fingers are long and slim, your lips, they're full and plump, redder than any roses out there. Your body was perfect , slim yet full, your breast and butt are on the perfect size, making you even more bedazzling.
Your eyes, your star-like cinnamon eyes, however, were ruining all your beauty; they're hollow with no single spark in it.
At that very day, i fell for you, faster than the shooting star. I want to mend you, i want to fix you, i want to be your missing puzzle pieces. I knew that this feeling was forbidden, we're both girls and i knew that the one who broke you was a guy; you're as straight as a line could be.
But there's something you need that no guy has, understanding. I will understand you, better than anyone else in this world, better than you understand yourself.
Getting close to you was to say, easy. You open yourself to me without any hesitation, you warm up to me at the first night we met. In less than a month, i understand you, your habit, your favorite food, what you like or dislike, i can read you like an open book. In just a month, you told me, you told me the reason why you were so broken when we first met.
"I loved her so much, we loved each other so much," you said in a broken voice that made me want to cry. Tears are rolling down your smooth cheeks like a diamond. I pulled you into a warm hug, my heart was torn into two; sad from seeing you like this and happy, happy that you're as bent as me.
From that day on, i tried to mend your heart. I wake you up everyday, i make you breakfast everyday, i take you to shop everyday, we talk and laugh, we sing till our voice hoarse, we cry together. Slowly, your eyes began to lit up, your eyes twinkled when you look at me and my body tingled. I feel like i could be anything when you look at me with those eyes, i could do anything when you smile at me, i could be everything when you hold my hands.
"I love you," i said. It wasn't exactly the best moment for a love confession but you laughed anyway and i felt like my heart was going to stop. There's no more word exchanged as you kissed my lips ever so gently, and everything was a blur silver warmth, golden drops, seeing moon, and you,
and us.
Yes, it has became us since i confessed to you. I move to your room and we started to live together. We wake up on the same bed, we take a bath together, we make breakfast together, we leave for work together, it's us. And it's so beautiful that i couldn't believe it sometimes, i often cried because and you'd be there for me, supporting me, hugging me, kissing me, telling me that we're real, it's us. You took my hand kindly and kiss it, you kissed my nose, my lips, my forehead; you kissed my crooked soul and put it on the right place.
We're happy, very happy. We never talk about your ex-girlfriend because i know it'll make you sad. I never ask you her name, never ask you how does she look like, never ask you what kind of person she is. It's a subject we never touch but i knew that deep down, you still had something for her. I knew that whenever you wake up, you think of her, just being in this room reminds you of her. I wonder if you still remember her birthday or the anniversary day between you two cause you sometimes look at calendar with sorrowful look and bitter smile on your face. Maybe you still have pictures of her, maybe you still have letters from her, maybe you still have albums of her, maybe you still have e-mails and messages from her, maybe she's still with you,holding your heart tight and close.
Sometimes i could not help but wonder how kind was she, how pretty was she, how did she embrace you, what kind of kiss you shared with her, because no matter how i hug you, no matter how i kiss you, no matter how many times we make love together, there's something not right. Somehow, your words of consolation wasn't enough, because you weren't there. You're somewhere else and not here with me. You told me countless time that you love me, again and again with smile.
And i told myself; you're so stupid, there's nothing for you to worry.
tell me,
because i want to understand
why your heart was so broken?
I was naive, i realized. The first moment i met her, your ex-girlfriend, i realized that i've been blinded by euphoria of your words, your i love yous, your we're reals. I've never seen you like this before, smiling, looking at her as if the anything else was ethereal-near-fleeting existence that could disappear any second and you don't seem to care the slightest about it. I felt invincible, like i never exist in the first place, i felt like everything you had told me was a lie.
I've always been confident about myself, i'm tall, beautiful, sexy, smart, my smile can melt everyone's heart. But you still look at her, your eyes locked on her as if she's the solid reason of your existence. My beauty wasn't enough to have your eyes on me, my voice wasn't enough to bring you back to me, nothing was enough to make you love me the way you love her.
She noticed me and gave me a smile; a smile that's sickeningly similar with your smile, her eyes twinkled; a twinkle that reminded me so much of your eyes, your gestures and her were so alike, so familiar, it was as if i'm seeing you, not her.
"Please take care of her," she said and then she left. Leaving your world broken beyond repair and my heart to bleed. I couldn't handle the look on your face after that. You looked so lost yet you smiled, a smile that is so fake and sorrowful that my heart clenched.
tell me, whisper to me when i ask;
how many season has to pass until she disappear?
Again, even after we've met her, you never talk about her. It's back to old routine; waking up together, taking a bath together, making breakfast together, shopping together, stargazing together. You tell me again and again how much you love me, how thankful you are to have me by your side, you tell me that we're real, that there's nothing but us.
Yet, none of them confince me, i've seen you, i've seen the glimpse of real you back then when i met her. You've never look at me that way, never once, even when we were bask in each other's passion, you never see me like that. What should i do to make you look at me like that? What should i do to make you smile at me like that? I'm dying to know cause i've fallen, too deep that i couldn't see anything. I'm addicted to you and yes, i love you, more than i've ever loved anyone in my life.
"What am i to you?" i asked, twirling your locks between my fingers. We're lying on the bed, waiting for sleep to come and visit us. You didn't look up at me, you didn't tense like i expected you to be.
"My everything," you murmured gently, "what are you thinking?"
I gently took your chin, making us stare at each other, i founf myself lost in your eyes, but the same didn't apply to you, you're not lost in my eyes, you're lost in her eyes, always. "What is she to you?"
You looked away and i let you to, i confided myself that maybe you just don't want me to see your pained expression cause i've told you i hate it. Maybe, maybe...
"She's just...just..."
You paused and i heard the clock ticking loudly, hammering like my heart, you didn't continue anymore, you didn't even turn your head to look at me. You did nothing.
"She's just?"
"She's...She's just my..."
Your?
"My...I..."
I just want to be the one;
i just want you to look at me and me only,
i want to be your everything,
but i know, no matter how hard for me to admit it;
that i can't,
i can't be your everything.
- - -
Author : velfatish
Disclaimer : do not own these boys but every single mistake such as grammar and spelling in this story is mine.
Rating : PG-13, femslash
Pairing : QMiMin/SiHanChul, work both ways.
Genre : romance,angst
Summary : You're broken when i met you and now you're whole again. That's what i think, just what i think because it's not true, you're still broken.
A/N : I've been wanting to write femslash since forever and i've even made this fic where Super Junior is SNSD but I JUST CAN'T DO IT, FLUFF, AS MUCH AS I LIKE TO READ IT, IS JUST NOT MY THING. I think i'll be writing lots of angst or one-sided story from now on unless i heard a song that can inspire me. Just like my last fic, this one is inspired by a song to; Maybe... by Kana Nishino.
I've mentioned that this is BOTH QMiMin fic and SiHanChul fic, this is how you should see it;
I; Zhoumi or Siwon
You; Kyuhyun or Hangeng
She; Sungmin or Heechul
- - -
I want all of you,
from the day before i meet you to who you are now,
so give me;
give me your everything
The first time i met you, you were broken yet beautiful.You still maintained your gracefulness, your walking posture was perfect, every single move you made caused my breath to hitched. Your eyelashes are long, fluttering beautifully as you blink your eyes elegantly, your fingers are long and slim, your lips, they're full and plump, redder than any roses out there. Your body was perfect , slim yet full, your breast and butt are on the perfect size, making you even more bedazzling.
Your eyes, your star-like cinnamon eyes, however, were ruining all your beauty; they're hollow with no single spark in it.
At that very day, i fell for you, faster than the shooting star. I want to mend you, i want to fix you, i want to be your missing puzzle pieces. I knew that this feeling was forbidden, we're both girls and i knew that the one who broke you was a guy; you're as straight as a line could be.
But there's something you need that no guy has, understanding. I will understand you, better than anyone else in this world, better than you understand yourself.
Getting close to you was to say, easy. You open yourself to me without any hesitation, you warm up to me at the first night we met. In less than a month, i understand you, your habit, your favorite food, what you like or dislike, i can read you like an open book. In just a month, you told me, you told me the reason why you were so broken when we first met.
"I loved her so much, we loved each other so much," you said in a broken voice that made me want to cry. Tears are rolling down your smooth cheeks like a diamond. I pulled you into a warm hug, my heart was torn into two; sad from seeing you like this and happy, happy that you're as bent as me.
From that day on, i tried to mend your heart. I wake you up everyday, i make you breakfast everyday, i take you to shop everyday, we talk and laugh, we sing till our voice hoarse, we cry together. Slowly, your eyes began to lit up, your eyes twinkled when you look at me and my body tingled. I feel like i could be anything when you look at me with those eyes, i could do anything when you smile at me, i could be everything when you hold my hands.
"I love you," i said. It wasn't exactly the best moment for a love confession but you laughed anyway and i felt like my heart was going to stop. There's no more word exchanged as you kissed my lips ever so gently, and everything was a blur silver warmth, golden drops, seeing moon, and you,
and us.
Yes, it has became us since i confessed to you. I move to your room and we started to live together. We wake up on the same bed, we take a bath together, we make breakfast together, we leave for work together, it's us. And it's so beautiful that i couldn't believe it sometimes, i often cried because and you'd be there for me, supporting me, hugging me, kissing me, telling me that we're real, it's us. You took my hand kindly and kiss it, you kissed my nose, my lips, my forehead; you kissed my crooked soul and put it on the right place.
We're happy, very happy. We never talk about your ex-girlfriend because i know it'll make you sad. I never ask you her name, never ask you how does she look like, never ask you what kind of person she is. It's a subject we never touch but i knew that deep down, you still had something for her. I knew that whenever you wake up, you think of her, just being in this room reminds you of her. I wonder if you still remember her birthday or the anniversary day between you two cause you sometimes look at calendar with sorrowful look and bitter smile on your face. Maybe you still have pictures of her, maybe you still have letters from her, maybe you still have albums of her, maybe you still have e-mails and messages from her, maybe she's still with you,holding your heart tight and close.
Sometimes i could not help but wonder how kind was she, how pretty was she, how did she embrace you, what kind of kiss you shared with her, because no matter how i hug you, no matter how i kiss you, no matter how many times we make love together, there's something not right. Somehow, your words of consolation wasn't enough, because you weren't there. You're somewhere else and not here with me. You told me countless time that you love me, again and again with smile.
And i told myself; you're so stupid, there's nothing for you to worry.
tell me,
because i want to understand
why your heart was so broken?
I was naive, i realized. The first moment i met her, your ex-girlfriend, i realized that i've been blinded by euphoria of your words, your i love yous, your we're reals. I've never seen you like this before, smiling, looking at her as if the anything else was ethereal-near-fleeting existence that could disappear any second and you don't seem to care the slightest about it. I felt invincible, like i never exist in the first place, i felt like everything you had told me was a lie.
I've always been confident about myself, i'm tall, beautiful, sexy, smart, my smile can melt everyone's heart. But you still look at her, your eyes locked on her as if she's the solid reason of your existence. My beauty wasn't enough to have your eyes on me, my voice wasn't enough to bring you back to me, nothing was enough to make you love me the way you love her.
She noticed me and gave me a smile; a smile that's sickeningly similar with your smile, her eyes twinkled; a twinkle that reminded me so much of your eyes, your gestures and her were so alike, so familiar, it was as if i'm seeing you, not her.
"Please take care of her," she said and then she left. Leaving your world broken beyond repair and my heart to bleed. I couldn't handle the look on your face after that. You looked so lost yet you smiled, a smile that is so fake and sorrowful that my heart clenched.
tell me, whisper to me when i ask;
how many season has to pass until she disappear?
Again, even after we've met her, you never talk about her. It's back to old routine; waking up together, taking a bath together, making breakfast together, shopping together, stargazing together. You tell me again and again how much you love me, how thankful you are to have me by your side, you tell me that we're real, that there's nothing but us.
Yet, none of them confince me, i've seen you, i've seen the glimpse of real you back then when i met her. You've never look at me that way, never once, even when we were bask in each other's passion, you never see me like that. What should i do to make you look at me like that? What should i do to make you smile at me like that? I'm dying to know cause i've fallen, too deep that i couldn't see anything. I'm addicted to you and yes, i love you, more than i've ever loved anyone in my life.
"What am i to you?" i asked, twirling your locks between my fingers. We're lying on the bed, waiting for sleep to come and visit us. You didn't look up at me, you didn't tense like i expected you to be.
"My everything," you murmured gently, "what are you thinking?"
I gently took your chin, making us stare at each other, i founf myself lost in your eyes, but the same didn't apply to you, you're not lost in my eyes, you're lost in her eyes, always. "What is she to you?"
You looked away and i let you to, i confided myself that maybe you just don't want me to see your pained expression cause i've told you i hate it. Maybe, maybe...
"She's just...just..."
You paused and i heard the clock ticking loudly, hammering like my heart, you didn't continue anymore, you didn't even turn your head to look at me. You did nothing.
"She's just?"
"She's...She's just my..."
Your?
"My...I..."
I just want to be the one;
i just want you to look at me and me only,
i want to be your everything,
but i know, no matter how hard for me to admit it;
that i can't,
i can't be your everything.
- - -